Friday, January 31, 2014


Time to recap the recaps of the breakdowns of the recaps of all the exciting events in the run-up to Super Bowl MMXIV.

Let’s start with the … PRO BOWL… proof that the NFL will go to any lengths, regardless of how cheesy, sleazy or phony to filch money from a brain-addled fan base. The best that this charade has to offer is a justification for the values of Andy Griffith reruns. Aunt Bea, Floyd the barber and Barney Fife are far more believable characters than anything the Pro(zac) Bowl offers. This smell-a-thon is the NFL adding insult to injury.

Next… Media Day… when all of the players are required to make themselves available to the hundreds of sports writers, TV blokes and bloggers to provide intensely interesting answers to hundreds of inane questions that have been asked and answered over and over and over and over…

And the biggest story from this ask-all, tell-all look into the players’ and coaches’ thinking about the BIGGEST game of year that has been discussed, analyzed, dissected bisected, and broken-down by, well, everybody? Why, Marshawn ‘Beast Mode’ Lynch being available for 7 ½ minutes to say he has nothing to say.

Never in recorder history has so much airtime and so many written words been devoted to an analysis of… nothing! You are the man, Marshawn. In spite of the fact that Pete Carroll is as crooked as the Tennessee – North Carolina Tail of the Dragon highway, you’ve sold me. Go Seahawks!

 The most amusing pre-Bowl show this week was a rerun of the best Super Bowl commercials of all time. Now there was an hour of your life that you won’t get back. What is really insane… here was a show of commercials that was sponsored by… commercials. As previously noted, you can’t beat the NFL as a commercial delivery system.

It would be unfair to leave Roger ‘The $20 Million Man’ Goodell out of this discussion. Not to be overshadowed by a mere championship football game, Roger took to the podium this week to announce that he intends to triple NFL revenue to $25 Billion by 2017. NFL revenue will then exceed the gross national product of dozens of countries and place it among the corporate giants like McDonalds, Microsoft and Wally-World (soon to be The W-Universe).

Roger, of course, continues to justify the NFL’s tax-exempt status, taxpayer funding of new NFL playgrounds and a cap on payments to brain damaged ex-employees. If a system is successfully screwing players and fans alike, why change it!

Follow this link to watch Roger pile it higher and deeper to avoid answering a direct question from Vernon Davis of the 49ers. Roger should take a lesson from Mashawn: Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool rather than open it and prove you're a lying sack o' crap. 

So, open your wallet, pull up a chair and let the game begin.

V -

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