I'm getting sicker and sicker of sports announcers talking as though they are getting paid by the word. They drone on and on with worthless stats instead of HONESTLY talking about what we all see. Please stop these useless pronouncements:
**We are not as enamored with exit velocities as you are. When Giancarlo Stanton hits a ground ball that the defense turns into a double play, it's no consolation that the E.V. was 109 MPH. Also, forget the home run distances. I don't believe half of those estimates anyway. If it's over the fence, it's a homer. 'Nuff said.
**Stop the contrived and misleading stats. "In the last 9 games, So & So is hitting .305." What the hell does that mean? Why 9 games? What happened in the last 10 games? Or the last 8 games? How would that change his average? Torres has 16 homers against Baltimore. Of course, 14 of them came in one season TWO years ago.
**David Cone, you're a smart guy put cut back on the sabermetrics. Paul O'Neill is more fun to listen to because he doesn't take the game too seriously. He's the guy I want to sit next to because he's funny and he does know the game. Plus, he gets better food.
**Cut back on the celebrities in the stands. And the little kids and the "honey" shots.
**And please: just shut up and let the game happen. It's TV, I don't need you to tell me a guy just struck out.
It seems the media has a procedure in places that says, If it isn't a story, keep reporting on it till it becomes an issue. On Monday, Kevin Kiermaier picked up a scouting card that fell off the wristband of Blue Jays catcher Alejandro Kirk during a play at the plate. He brought it into the Tampa dugout. The two managers said it was no big deal that is was "...agua under the bridge." End of story, right? OH no, says the media. By the time they finished making a big deal out of it, Kiermaier had been intentionally hit by a pitch, dugouts had emptied and people were ejected and Blue Jays pitcher Ryan Borucki has been suspended for three days, all over a card that was of no use to anyone. I can see reporters sitting in a room, rubbing their hands together with an evil chuckle, saying, "Aha, we did it."
Finally. my friend, Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, has been cleared to return to work as the night sports editor of the paper. Welcome back, Dwight, we've missed you.
***THEY SAID IT***
"Instead of picking the winners of college football games Ashton Kutcher should be in acting class." -- Brad Dickson
"Toronto came in second in a world ranking of 100 cities having a good reputation. Or 99th if you include the Maple Leafs." -- RJ Currie
"These are whacky times. The Padres’ Manny Machado, who admitted running to first base “is not my cup of tea,” recently bashed teammate Fernando Tatis Jr for being selfish, for thinking, “It’s all about you.”" -- Phil Mushnick
"ESPN headline “Mountcastle, Hays HR help Orioles beat skidding Rangers 3-0.” Uh, Texas Rangers are 55-98. “Skidding?” More like a continuance of their race to catch the 49-104 Orioles on the way to the bottom." -- Janice Hough
"There is now a shortage of cheap whiskey in America. So does that mean University of Missouri home football games are canceled?" -- Brad Dickson
"I’m not saying St. Louis baseball fans are spoiled. But they call errors Cardinal sins." -- RJ Currie
"Green Bay Packers looked pretty miserable the first week of season
against New Orleans Saints. Fortunately the NFL sometimes has a cure for
that. It’s called playing the Detroit Lions." -- Janice Hough
"Florida has offered a full scholarship to an eighth grade QB, Julian Lewis. Seriously. Guess he already meets the academic requirements. Seriously." -- Phil Mushnick
Chad Picasner
