Sunday, November 30, 2014

SO WHO'S THE BAD GUY HERE?

Ray Rice hits his wife and then drags her body out of an elevator, with the whole thing caught on tape. Rice is branded a wife-beater and blasted in the media. NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, suspends Rice for two games. Goodell is criticized for being too lenient. When it's discovered that there is a video of the actual attack available some months later, Goodell changes the suspension to an indefinite suspension. Then the Baltimore Ravens release Ray Rice. Now poor Ray Rice has no livelihood. Roger Goodell had this last video before the original suspension and only increased it when this news got out. Goodell is now criticized for apparently hiding "crucial" information. And now, after Rice's appeal, U.S. District Judge, Barbara Jones has ruled in favor of Rice and the "indefinite suspension" has been overturned.

Who is the real culprit here?

Well, let's start with the Judge. Had it been Jones' daughter that got decked in an elevator, would the judge have felt the same way? I doubt it.
Roger Goodell? He's not a commissioner, he's a spin doctor. "I should suspend him? Oh, okay. How about 2 games? Then, "They found out about the tape? Better make it 'indefinite'. Will that do it?"
But the bottom line is Ray Rice himself. You should never hit a women. NEVER! Short of hanging him, no punishment is too much. These professional athletes continue to act as though rules or laws don't apply to them. People like Goodell and Judge Jones help foster those actions. Rice's wife is not helping matters when she does interviews where she tries to justify Ray's actions. Sorry, wife or not, I don't buy it.

So who is the real bad guy?                All of them.

Rivalry weekend in college football
Kentucky - Louisville started the day off with a mid-field skirmish before the coin toss. "We hate them and they hate us!" Right, we got it.
Alabama & Auburn continued the love-fest in "The Iron Bowl." That has a nice ring to it.
Oregon vs. Oregon State in "The Civil War." Didn't we already have one of those?
Ole Miss & Miss. State played in "The Egg Bowl." I suppose that's better than "The Cannonball Bowl."
Then there's "The Little Brown Jug" bowl between Minnesota and Michigan. Now that sounds nice and quiet and cute.    But, wait. Where did that come from? Back in 1903, the Michigan head coach, on a 28-game win streak, was afraid that Minnesota might have poisoned their water jug, so he ordered another one. How warm and fuzzy is that?
A tight end from Auburn said that a fan in Tuscaloosa Alabama's home town, once gave him the finger. The "fan" was five years old. Three years ago, an Alabama fan poisoned the two iconic Oak tress in Toomer's Corners near the Auburn campus. He's in jail, but the trees died.
" Before the game with Michigan, Ohio State students covered every “M” on campus. Well, that’s pretty dub."  -- Brad Dickson.  So will the Michigan-Ohio State game become "The M Bowl?"

Is it possible that "Rivalry Week" has gone too far?

What goes around, comes around
A year ago, the Red Sox president commented on the millions of dollars the Yanks spent on free agents by saying, "Well, we do things differently around here."  The Sox then proceeded to upgrade from within with only minor forays into the free agent market...and finished last. Now Boston has shoved a ton of cash at free agents by signing Pedro Sandoval ($95 million) and Hanley Ramirez ($88 million). Apparently, not that differently.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Enough with making fun of Winnipeg for that beer being tossed a Raghib Ismail in the ‘91 Grey Cup. Trust me, no Manitoban ever throws a can that still has beer in it."  -- RJ Currie
"On Black Friday I was kicked, punched and trampled – and I was shopping online."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Philadelphia 76ers are 0-16. At this point even the Washington Generals want to play them."  -- Janice Hough
"Washington State receiver Tyler Baker shares his apartment with his pet wolf.Bet he’s really popular with the neighbors whenever it’s a full moon."  -- Dwight Perry
"In Connecticut, a pig was kicked off a flight for being disruptive. This inability to have a pig fly does not bode well for the Chicago Cubs’ season."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"According to a report, a young Johnny Manziel was “snubbed” by Tiger Woods. Well, it’s about time that Tiger got some positive PR."  -- Brad Dickson
"Johnny Football Manziel got into a fight with a fan at 2:30 am in a night club last Saturday. The fan wanted a hug, and Johnny insisted he pay for an autograph first."  -- RJ Currie
"A spectacular one-handed grab by the Giants’ Odell Beckham Jr. is being called the greatest catch in NFL history, not counting Gisele Bundchen."  -- David Letterman
"What are the similarities between stellar QBs Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers according to Bill Belichick? They both wear No. 12"  From Dwight Perry's column
"A man in France broke a world speed record by reaching speeds of 207 mph in 4.8 seconds — on a bicycle.“The contraption apparently was powered by three rocket engines. Either that, or Lance Armstrong has been preparing for a comeback."  -- Ian Hamilton
"Ex-Purdue basketball coach Gene Keady once payed a hair stylist $600 a week to come up with that ugly comb-over. That’s like Quasimodo getting silicone injections to plump his hump.”  -- Scott Ostler
"A neutral arbitrator has overturned Ray Rice’s indefinite suspension by Roger Goodell. Being in the NFL is like being married; you rarely get to finish a sentence."  -- RJ Currie

CP-
 

































Thursday, November 27, 2014

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Best wishes to all from the morning shift here at Chad Picasner At Large.

We give thanks to my friends who helped make this blog interesting:
Dwight Perry
Brad Dickson
Janet Hough
RJ Currie
TC Chong
and more.

In honor of the day, President Obama pardoned a turkey and Brian Cashman did the same twice. Cashman's turkeys were named Scott Boras and Joe West.

I personally want to thank my editor, Annie-O and my cohort in crime, Vod Knockers.

Enjoy the day!

Chad Picasner

Sunday, November 23, 2014

THE BIG APPLE HAS A WORM IN IT

New York City, once the focal point of professional sports, has fallen on hard times. Fallen HARD. A city that boasts two teams in all the major pro sports, has only one sport with a winning record this year: the NHL.
NFL - Jets 2-8, Giants 3-7  Both teams have very small playoff chances
MLB - Yanks 12 games out, Mets 17 games out  Neither team was close to the playoffs
NHL - Islanders 14-6. Rangers 8-7, Devils 9-9  Not stellar but respectable
NBA - Nets 5-8, Knicks 4-10  If the playoffs started today, they'd both be home.

It won't be my fault:
The LA Lakers are going nowhere and in the pros, if you can't win, you at least want to look respectable. Kobe Bryant appears to be trying to win all by himself. Unfortunately, he's not the player he was and I doubt that Kobe in his prime could help this team, and his method leaves a lot to be desired, too.
"Watching Kobe Bryant's season play out has been absolutely fascinating, because he just keeps shooting and shooting regardless of whether he’s really open, regardless of whether somebody else is open. Bryant could not do this without an incredible track record -- let’s face it, almost any other player would be pulled off the floor for shooting so much without success -- and unapologetic approach within each sequence."  -- Buster Olney
For the record, Kobe is averaging a shot every 40 seconds that he is on the floor. His career average is a shot every 1 min and 42 seconds that he is playing. When I was a kid, we would say, "He's got the glint (in his eye)"

It never stopped him before:
Some writers are saying Florida State's Jameis Winston should have gotten a penalty for touching a ref when he pushed an official out of the way in order to get a play off quickly. That's Illegal Contact. He should know that rule. He's committed the same foul off the field.

Brain Cashman is out on the street:
Before you start celebrating, it's simply a promotion to highlight the plight of the homeless. Cashman has done this before, he sleeps out all night in an alley with nothing but a sleeping bag. He says it's tougher than having to explain to George Steinbrenner why the Yanks lost an exhibition game to the Mets.

Some MLB executives have been warning other General Managers that the Yanks are a "sleeping giant."  While NY has been very quiet so far with no rumors of another blockbuster signing in the works, some execs say the Yanks like to step in at the last minute and sign a premium guy like Max Scherzer. It is Cashman's favorite trick.

Because of the record snowfall, the Bills-Jets game has been moved to Detroit on Monday night. Why isn't this game being played in Syracuse? The Dome has a capacity of 50,000 and is centrally located between two NEW YORK teams.

Thailand officials say they have intercepted a package bound for the U.S. that contained human parts: a head, a heart and a foot. No truth to the rumor that the arm had already been sold to the NY Giants.

Note: I haven't posted in a week so there is a plethora of funny and interesting lines out there, so enjoy.  - C Picasner

***THEY SAID IT***
" The horrible weather back east continues. The Buffalo Bills and New York Jets game has been moved to Detroit on Monday for safety reasons. This is the first time anyone's ever gone to Detroit to be safe."  -- Brad Dickson
" If I’m ever accused of wrongdoing,” wrote Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, “I want Florida State and FIFA to investigate."  -- Len Berman
" New York City’ has a new drug policy. You can now walk around smoking weed, and all they’re going to do is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game."  -- David Letterman
" Bills coach Doug Marrone comes upon driver stuck in snow, pushes the car for 9 yards and then punts."  -- Fark.com
"The Marlins’ Jeffrey Loria gave slugger Giancarlo Stanton a 13-year, $325 million contract,  marking the first time a team’s owner was tested for drugs."  Jimmy Fallon
"The NFL fined Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch $100,000 for not talking to the media enough the past two seasons. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Lynch had no comment."  -- Dwight Perry
"Last week Nebraska played the Badgers, this week it was the Gophers. This is the rodent portion of the Big Ten schedule."  -- Brad Dickson
"Tiger Wooods and his camp are not happy with an “imaginary” interview by writer Dan Jenkins in this month’s Golf Digest. Eldrick called the article “hitting below the belt”, as it was made fun of his reputation for poor tipping and firing everyone around him."  -- TC Chong 
"Toronto Maple Leaf fans are tossing jerseys onto the ice to protest their NHL team’s mediocre play. That seems fitting. Judging by recent results, the Leafs have been throwing some empty uniforms out there, too."  -- Ian Hamilton
"The U.S. deporting violent criminals under President Obama’s new immigration plan: “So, this could impact your fantasy football team."  -- Conan O'Brien
"Instead of trying to dig all that snow out of Ralph Wilson Stadium, NFL officials shifted Sunday’s Jets-Bills game to Detroit. Or to put it in football terms, they took a shovel pass."  -- Dwight Perry
"Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari wished his daughter Megan a happy birthday today,  but he had the date wrong.  Give Calipari credit.  At least he remembered he had a daughter.....And he got her name right."  -- Janice Hough
"Discovery Channel filmed a man getting eaten alive by an Anaconda. In related news, Joe Maddon says his Cubs will make the 2015 playoffs, which is also pretty hard to swallow"  -- RJ Currie
"Taylor Swift,  Amanda Seyfreid and supermodel  Kate Upton posed for a courtside photo at the Knicks-Magic game. Also in the photo were Who Cares and Not Important."  -- RJ Currie

CP-
 


















Tuesday, November 18, 2014

...and now for something completely different...


“Okay, here’s my theory. So, like in the past,” he began, “when the American people acted like dumb-asses, it actually didn’t matter. Because we were being led by smart-asses, right? But now we’re basically being run by lobbyists and pollsters, while Congress is a bunch of squabbling brats. So when people act like dumb-asses today it matters. We had the war on terrorism, the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan. We’re going broke buying these billion-dollar drones to chase a bunch of clowns through the Pakistani tribal areas. Meanwhile, every serious country is burning past us.”

“You make it sound like a race,” Tooly said.

“That’s what it is. There’s like one point two billion Chinese, and they want what we got. They become as rich as we are? Well, they just can’t. We’re at war already. You hear this stuff about hacking? I guarantee you, China has a zillion geniuses stapled to their desktops figuring out how to ram us. Look how they’re hoarding our debt. We basically mortgaged this country to Beijing.”

“I remember people saying doomsday stuff like this in the 1980s,” Tooly noted. “How America was falling apart and Japan was going to run the world.”

“Japan was a boutique. China is the whole shopping mall,” he replied. “Our country was in charge of the world for a few seconds. So what did we do? Bitch-slapped Milosevic and Saddam, let global warming get out of control, and convinced the world that we’re a bunch of whack-job crusaders. And went broke doing it. That’s the story of our generation – the peak and collapse, all in twenty years.”

“I don’t actually mind the U.S. not being in charge anymore,” Bridget commented. “Not like we did such a great job with that whole superpower thing.”

“You think that we suck at it?” Duncan responded. “Check out the competition. You want Russia and China running stuff? Russia is, like, the scariest place in the sort-of-free world. And the Chinese will sabotage every climate-change proposal till they’ve had their turn at fucking the planet.”

- from a novel by Tom Rachman


Friday, November 14, 2014

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

I don't like to get into debates about politics or religion. I can get into enough trouble with sports. You can add political correctness to that list of no-nos, but I will deviate from that stance just this once.

There is a big debate over offensive team nicknames, nicknames that have been around a long time. That's certainly not a reason to retain them, but where is the line as to what names are offensive? For a long time, St. Johns University teams carried the moniker, "The Redmen." Obviously offensive and St. Johns  remedied that by changing to "The Red Storm." Washington's pro-football team refuses to change the name "Redskins," which is even more offensive. Tampa Bay went from "Devil Rays" to just "Rays." Cleveland is getting some heat for "Indians" and here is where the line gets a little blurred. It's not the worst name, but not the best, either. Cleveland didn't help themselves with that offensive cartoon character, 'Chief Wahoo.' Eliminating that name will change the whole identity of the team.  Perhaps we should look at "Pirates" or "Raiders" too. Neither name brings anything warm or fuzzy to mind. Oakland changed to the "A's" from "Athletics," if only in emphasis, but that may have been because, at the time, they really didn't have any athletes on the team.  At least we still have those old stand-bys: Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My!).

Tennessee has decided to eliminate the name, "Lady Vols," saying that it's sexist. It appears, however, that the Tennessee administration is the only body that thinks that. Their women's celebrated coach, Pat Summit, is decidedly against it also. Pat was the coach when the women on the team picked that nickname. Not accepted it, they picked it. Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post says it better.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/colleges/tennessee-womens-athletes-know-what-it-means-to-be-a-lady/2014/11/13/71cae4a8-6b53-11e4-b053-65cea7903f2e_story.html

Thus endeth my first and last foray into dangerous waters.

** Alvin Dark has died at age 92. Alvin (whose nickname was "Blackie," speaking of names) played for 14 years with a career .289 batting average. He also managed three different teams and won a pennant with the Giants and the A's. He was involved in one of the weirdest plays in baseball. "With Stan Musial on first, home plate umpire Delmore was embroiled in an argument with the catcher and pitcher, Musial took it upon himself to try for second base. Seeing that Musial was trying for second, Dark ran to the backstop to retrieve the ball. The ball wound up in the hands of field announcer Pat Pieper, but Dark ended up getting it back anyway. Absentmindedly, however, Delmore pulled out a new ball and gave it to Taylor. Anderson finally noticed that Musial was trying for second, took the new ball, and threw it to second baseman Tony Taylor. Anderson's throw flew over Tony Taylor's head into the outfield. Dark, at the same time that Anderson threw the new ball, threw the original ball to shortstop Ernie Banks. Musial, though, did not see Dark's throw and only noticed Anderson's ball fly over the second baseman's head, so he tried to go to third base. On his way there, he was tagged by Banks, and after a delay he was ruled out."
Where's instant replay when you need it?

** Clayton Kershaw has been named MVP of the National League. A great pitcher and deserving of the Cy Young award he's just won. I renew my belief that a pitcher, especially a starting pitcher,  shouldn't be named an MVP. They appear in approximately 32 games a season, which is less than 20% of the season. In playoff games, he may pitch in only 2 of 7 games.Consider what scenario of your best hitter playing just those games. Personally, I want Mike Trout playing in as many games as possible.

** The Yanks have traded Francisco Cervelli (one of my favorites, by the way) to the Pirates for lefty reliever Justin Wilson. Both are serviceable players but it always amuses me how much better players become when teams announce these trades. Cervelli has always been a backup but now he's projected as the Pirates first-string catcher. Wilson has decent numbers but he's going to be one of the main lefties out of the bullpen for NY.  We'll see.

** Show me the money. Giancarlo Stanton is currently negotiating a new contract with the Miami Marlins. Considered to be MLB's best slugger, he's looking to become baseball's wealthiest. The numbers being tossed around are $325 million for 12 years. That's about $27+ million a year. He's only 25, so it isn't quite that outrageous, plus, in 10 years, $27 million per year might be just average money. By the way, Miami's average ticket price last year was $27. Which means, the first 12,500 fans each game are needed just to pay his salary. That's about half their average attendance.

***THEY SAID IT***
" According to a study apologizing is good for your health. If true, this means the CEO of Target and the general manager of the Chicago Cubs should both live to 180."  -- Brad Dickson
" Five members of Germany's women's U-20 soccer team posed for Playboy to promote the upcoming Women's World Cup. Now that's what I call a soccer pitch."  -- RJ Currie
"The world’s top ranked badminton player has failed a doping test. Badminton World Federation officials finally had to confront him when his serves reached speeds of 400 mph."  -- TC Chong
"Serial soccer chomper Luis Suarez, in his new autobiography, says he was treated “like a criminal” when his latest transgression.got him kicked out of this year’s World Cup.Sounds like a one-man “Take A Bite Out Of Crime” public-service ad."  -- Dwight Perry
"University of Texas football coach Charlie Strong has kicked at least nine players off the team. At the current rate, by November 2017, Texas will be forced to play eight-man football."  -- Brad Dickson
"Justin Bieber visited a Pittsburgh Steeler players’ faith meeting: “He wanted to worship with the New YorkGiants, but they don’t have a prayer."  -- Alan Ray
"Kobe Bryant broke an unwelcome NBA career record with his 13,418th missed shot. Or as he prefers to call them, rebounding opportunities for teammates."  -- Dwight Perry
"LeBron James apologized to fans for not dunking enough in his Cavs return: “LeBron says he’s trying as hard as he can, but at the end of the day he’s just one team.”  -- Jimmy Fallon
" KOMO-4 TV in Seattle discovered that beer at CenturyLink Field is watered down. Wow. Imagine how loud Seahawks fans would be if they were drinking the regular stuff."  -- Janice Hough

CP-

















Wednesday, November 12, 2014

MY TAKE ON THINGS

** The Red Sox are going after Pablo Sandoval big time. The Sox will offer a lot of money but so will a number of other teams. Boston can offer one more thing Pablo: that fried chicken in the clubhouse during the game.

** David Robertson refused the Yankees qualifying offer and will test the market. The Mets are said to be big players in that one. Why would Robertson want to go to the Mets? He's a closer. For him to help the Mets, he has to close games. Don't you have to be ahead in order for that to happen?

** The Managers of the Year were just announced. Baltimore's Buck Showalter in the AL and Matt Williams of the Nationals in the NL. Good managers both of them and they did lead  their teams to first place in their divisions, however...
Maybe it's just my interpretation of the award, but if a manager has all the horses and is expected to win, then it's not much of a surprise when they do. Now if a manager has a team that is NOT expected to do much and ends up in the World Series, doesn't that seem that he got his team to overachieve? Shouldn't that be worth Manager of the Year? It does in my book, yet there's Ned Yost of the Royals finishing third.
It's not quite as glaring a situation in the Nl, but the Dodgers were supposed to run away with the NL title and did win their division, but there's Bruce Bochy of the Giants winning the World Series.

** A-Rod's in the news, of course. Neither Girardi or Cashman has committed to A-Rod as the starting 3rd baseman, because they're not sure what he's got left. They're talking about a lot of DH time and backing up at first base has also been mentioned. Girardi says he has been talking to A-Rod about it and supposedly A-Rod said, "We'll talk about it."  Saying that you'll 'talk about it' is not the same as saying you'll do it. We all know about Alex's pride. He doesn't want to to be back-up anything. Chase Headley ought to be the Yanks main priority this winter.

** The Colorado Rockies say they will listen to offers for all-star shortstop Troy Tulowitzki. Analysts say that Colorado can't trade Tulo unless they get a ton of first class prospects or a couple of MLB veterans because they don't want to irritate their fan base. Bull-roar! Tulo has a history of physical problems and anyone who trades for him may be taking on a medical case. No one could know more about this than the Rockies, so if they think it's a problem and he is not capable of putting on a full season at short, they'll take as much as they think they can get and the fan base be damned. There's also the matter of 6 more years at $20 million a year to think about.

** If you exclude the players that have retired or have accepted qualifying offers, there are about 120 free agents out for the taking. By the end of spring training, about half of them will be retired and don't know it yet.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Omaha's Public Works Department announced its snow and ice removal plan. It's called "spring."  -- Brad Dickson
"Steelers safety Mike Mitchell launching himself over the line into the Jets’ victory formation: “In Mitchell’s defense, who knew the Jets had a victory formation?"  -- Bud Shaw, Cleveland Plain Dealer
"Got an alibi, comrade? Mike Vrabel, the Texans’ linebackers coach, lost the three Super Bowl rings he won with the Patriots when burglars broke into his Houston home. Not to cast any aspersions or anything, but how do you say “one for the thumb” in Russian?"  -- Dwight Perry
"OF Michael Cuddyer has left Colorado to sign with the NY Mets. What Cuddyer is about to find out… it’s not like the Mets are really better than the Rockies. But in New York, when a team sucks, people actually notice."  -- Janice Hough
"The Los Angeles Lakers finally won a game. They enjoyed the experience so much, they're planning to try to win another one next month."  -- Brad Dickson
"ESPN claims about 30 per cent of the Indiana Hoosiers basketball team are out with legal problems. On the bright side, their NBA draft status shot way up."  -- RJ Currie
"While it has no chance of being a Top 10 on ESPN, here’s to Arizona State’s Demario Richard. After catching a TD pass to clinch it against Notre Dame, he tossed the ball to the back judge. That was it. Son, you’ll never get a Nike deal — or an ESPY — that way."  -- Phil Mushnick, NY Post

CP-
 














Sunday, November 09, 2014

WELL, I THINK...

** The Dodgers have a new GM. Farhan Zaidi says he plans to study the San Francisco Giants methods which have propelled them to the World Series three times in the last five years. He might as well. Using the Yankees method of throwing dollars around hasn't worked for either one of them.

** Wide receiver Kaelin Clay caught a 78-yard "touchdown" pass for Utah  yesterday, only he began his celebration a little early by throwing the football down at the one yard line. While he and the rest of his teammates did their little victory dance in the end zone, an alert Oregon player, Joe Walker, picked up the loose ball, now officially a fumble, and returned it 100 yards for an Oregon touchdown, tying the score. It all went downhill from there, with Oregon winning 51-27.  Apparently the coaches aren't spending enough time on TD celebrations in practice.

** A-Rod (remember him?) supposedly confessed to the DEA, that Biogenesis owner Bosch taught him to help beat drug screening by only providing a 'mid-stream urine sample.'
"Three words I’m willing to bet Grantland Rice, Damon Runyon, Red Smith and Jimmy Cannon never had to type: “mid-stream urine."  -- Mike Vaccaro

** Speaking of  Vaccaro, who writes for the NY Post, he recently wrote that it's time for the Veterans Committee to elect Gil Hodges into the Hall of Fame. Sorry Mike. Gil was a good player, a good manager  and a nice guy, but his numbers don't warrant that honor. 1921 hits, 370 home runs and a .274 batting average just aren't enough.

** Three more sportscasters colorful terms that we don't need.
"Put the ball on the ground"   We call that a fumble.
"Eye discipline"  I have no idea. Don't look at the cheerleaders when trying to catch a pass?
"He runs North and South"  Lord help us if the stadium faces east and west.

** The Yanks have signed their first free agent of the season. It's Chris Young, a backup outfielder that the Mets released over the summer because he played so badly. He did all right for NY, but which Chris Young is the real one? For the Yanks. it's a $2.1 million gamble.

** Pablo Sandoval, the Giants World Series hero, is looking for a 6-year deal. I haven't heard how much  money he's asking, but he will turn down a $15.1 million qualifying offer, so I suspect it won't be for a handful of magic beans. If you like innovative math formulas, listen to ballplayers agents. "Pablo is 28, Gustavo Vasquez, Pablo's agent said. He is still young. Maybe if he was 30 or 31 we could talk about four or five years. But he's 28. He deserves more than that." At 28, he wants to be paid until he's 34. But if he was 31, he wants to be paid until he's 36. Even Scott Boras makes more sense than that.

** Ichiro Suzuki says he wants to continue playing. He's 156 hits shy of 3000 hits. He probably needs at least two years to reach that goal. The Yanks don't seem interested and I think he'll have a hard time finding a team that will commit to two years, but approaching that milestone would put a few fans in the seats.

***THEY SAID IT***
"This just in. Utah announces all football players will be required to complete enough math classes to count to 100."  -- Janice Hough
"Fox Deportes adding stock-car races in Spanish to its telecasts: “NASCAR previously had been broadcast in only two languages: English and Redneck. -- Greg Cote
"Former Alabama fullback Le’Ron McClain is facing charges in Tuscaloosa of trafficking in synthetic marijuana. Apparently he’s not a big fan of natural grass."  -- Dwight Perry
"On Saturday, Ole Miss played Presbyterian. As we went to press, it was unclear if that was the school named Presbyterian or the bake sale.It’s the Presbyterian Blue Hose. As if the name “Presbyterian” doesn’t exactly strike fear into the heart of the opponent, they have to go with “Blue Hose?"  -- Brad Dickson
"Cowboys QB Tony Romo flew to London in first class as those seats fold out into actual beds so he could rest his injured back. Meanwhile, backup Brandon Weeden sat in a middle seat in “Economy” between two 375 lb offensive linemen."  -- TC Chong
"I always tell the Wally Pipp story, even though the players never know who he is, that he’s the guy Lou Gehrig replaced and Wally Pipp could never get his job back.“The worst part? They don’t know who Lou Gehrig is."  -- Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians
"The final 42 seconds of Wednesday’s Knicks-Pistons game ran — I kid you not — 20 minutes, 12 seconds!  It took 1,212 seconds to play 42. With 42 seconds left, you could have ordered a pizza, picked it up, driven home and not missed the end!”  -- Phil Mushnick
" The ex-treasurer of the Oakville, Ontario, Minor Baseball Association was arrested for embezzling $468,000 from them. He's charged with fraud and corrupting the minors"  RJ Currie
"Lee Chong Wei,, the world’s top-ranked badminton player, has apparently failed a doping test. Badminton? Who knew, the most honest sport might turn out to be pro wrestling."  -- Janice Hough
"First it was Nate Burleson who broke his arm while reaching for pizza as he drove. Now DeAngelo Hall has re-torn his Achilles while grabbing a slice of pizza from his kitchen. Looks like Nate may have started a Domino's effect."  -- Bill Littlejohn

CP-
 















 

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

LET THE SILLINESS BEGIN

Yesterday, teams begin making qualifying offers to their players heading into free agency. The amount this year is $15.3 million. If a player accepts, it's a one year deal at that price, if not, he's a free agent. Teams can negotiate bigger and/or longer deals even if the qualifying offer is made. Then it becomes a crap shoot for the player. Accept the offer and pass up a chance at more money or a long time deal - or - reject it and take your chances on the open market. For some players, the Q. offer is better than they could get on the open market, but some will want a long-term deal or a lot more money, so they roll the dice. There were players who rejected the offers and ended up siting out there a long time and ended up accepting less money. The kicker for those opting for free agency is that the original team will get a first round draft pick for any team that signs them and teams are very reluctant to give up the draft picks.
Here's a short list of players who have been given qualifying offers.
Max Scherzer
Hanley Ramirez
James Shields
Pablo Sandoval
Francisco Liriano
Russell Martin
Ervin Santana
Victor Martinez
David Robertson
Melky Cabrera
Nelson Cruz
Big names all, but some are worth it, some are not. Some players would be crazy not to accept the offers, since it's probably more than they could get on the open market. This will be verrrry interesting. Players have a week to decide.

Hmmm...
Okay, it's official. Joe Maddon is the new Cubs manager. There is a problem: The Tampa Bay Rays are toying with the idea of charging the Cubs with tampering. Seems negotiations between Maddon & Tampa were moving right along when Maddon suddenly broke off the talks. Two days later, his contract ran out and four days later, it was pretty much decided that Maddon was the next Cubs manager. The timing is very suspicious.

From Brad Dickson's Bottom Ten:
5. Troy (1-8): The marching band is spelling out “BLEAK” at halftime.
9. New Mexico State (2-7): The Aggies were defeated by Texas State, a team that I’ve frankly never heard of.

Well that didn't take long
Alex Rodriquez's suspension ended when the World Series ended last Wednesday. Up to now, the A-Rod hot line has been completely silent. Bingo! Investigations have revealed that A-Rod paid his cousin almost $1 million to keep silent about Alex's involvement with drugs. I guess things are back to normal.

Things can't be that tough
I read about that Denver Bronco's fan who left the stadium and disappeared until he showed up in a parking lot in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I've been to a ball game in Denver and parking is a problem there, but this is ridiculous.


***THEY SAID IT***
"Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL …"  --  Ohio State QB Cardale Jones in 2012
"Anyone find it ironic that with all that facial hair among the Royals and Giants, a World Series sponsor was Gillette?"  -- Jim Kozlowski
"For Halloween, some Purdue fans wanted to dress as a Boilermaker but were stymied when even they didn’t know what that was."  -- Brad Dickson
"Breaking news, a Kenyan has won the New York City Marathon” Wouldn’t it be more news if a Kenyan DIDN’T win the New York City Marathon?"  -- Janice Hough
"The new movie Ouija is about people trying to get in touch with the dead. Picture N.Y. Jets coach Rex Ryan giving a pre-game speech."  -- RJ Currie
"Ex-slugger Jose Canseco accidentally shot one of his fingers off while cleaning his gun: "On the bright side, he's taken so much human growth hormone that the finger grew right back."  -- Craig Ferguson
"How do the Philadelphia 76ers mark the end of Daylight Saving Time? They set their clock back one hour, and then some other team comes and cleans it."  -- Dwight Perry.

CP-