Sunday, November 23, 2014


New York City, once the focal point of professional sports, has fallen on hard times. Fallen HARD. A city that boasts two teams in all the major pro sports, has only one sport with a winning record this year: the NHL.
NFL - Jets 2-8, Giants 3-7  Both teams have very small playoff chances
MLB - Yanks 12 games out, Mets 17 games out  Neither team was close to the playoffs
NHL - Islanders 14-6. Rangers 8-7, Devils 9-9  Not stellar but respectable
NBA - Nets 5-8, Knicks 4-10  If the playoffs started today, they'd both be home.

It won't be my fault:
The LA Lakers are going nowhere and in the pros, if you can't win, you at least want to look respectable. Kobe Bryant appears to be trying to win all by himself. Unfortunately, he's not the player he was and I doubt that Kobe in his prime could help this team, and his method leaves a lot to be desired, too.
"Watching Kobe Bryant's season play out has been absolutely fascinating, because he just keeps shooting and shooting regardless of whether he’s really open, regardless of whether somebody else is open. Bryant could not do this without an incredible track record -- let’s face it, almost any other player would be pulled off the floor for shooting so much without success -- and unapologetic approach within each sequence."  -- Buster Olney
For the record, Kobe is averaging a shot every 40 seconds that he is on the floor. His career average is a shot every 1 min and 42 seconds that he is playing. When I was a kid, we would say, "He's got the glint (in his eye)"

It never stopped him before:
Some writers are saying Florida State's Jameis Winston should have gotten a penalty for touching a ref when he pushed an official out of the way in order to get a play off quickly. That's Illegal Contact. He should know that rule. He's committed the same foul off the field.

Brain Cashman is out on the street:
Before you start celebrating, it's simply a promotion to highlight the plight of the homeless. Cashman has done this before, he sleeps out all night in an alley with nothing but a sleeping bag. He says it's tougher than having to explain to George Steinbrenner why the Yanks lost an exhibition game to the Mets.

Some MLB executives have been warning other General Managers that the Yanks are a "sleeping giant."  While NY has been very quiet so far with no rumors of another blockbuster signing in the works, some execs say the Yanks like to step in at the last minute and sign a premium guy like Max Scherzer. It is Cashman's favorite trick.

Because of the record snowfall, the Bills-Jets game has been moved to Detroit on Monday night. Why isn't this game being played in Syracuse? The Dome has a capacity of 50,000 and is centrally located between two NEW YORK teams.

Thailand officials say they have intercepted a package bound for the U.S. that contained human parts: a head, a heart and a foot. No truth to the rumor that the arm had already been sold to the NY Giants.

Note: I haven't posted in a week so there is a plethora of funny and interesting lines out there, so enjoy.  - C Picasner

" The horrible weather back east continues. The Buffalo Bills and New York Jets game has been moved to Detroit on Monday for safety reasons. This is the first time anyone's ever gone to Detroit to be safe."  -- Brad Dickson
" If I’m ever accused of wrongdoing,” wrote Len Berman of, “I want Florida State and FIFA to investigate."  -- Len Berman
" New York City’ has a new drug policy. You can now walk around smoking weed, and all they’re going to do is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game."  -- David Letterman
" Bills coach Doug Marrone comes upon driver stuck in snow, pushes the car for 9 yards and then punts."  --
"The Marlins’ Jeffrey Loria gave slugger Giancarlo Stanton a 13-year, $325 million contract,  marking the first time a team’s owner was tested for drugs."  Jimmy Fallon
"The NFL fined Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch $100,000 for not talking to the media enough the past two seasons. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Lynch had no comment."  -- Dwight Perry
"Last week Nebraska played the Badgers, this week it was the Gophers. This is the rodent portion of the Big Ten schedule."  -- Brad Dickson
"Tiger Wooods and his camp are not happy with an “imaginary” interview by writer Dan Jenkins in this month’s Golf Digest. Eldrick called the article “hitting below the belt”, as it was made fun of his reputation for poor tipping and firing everyone around him."  -- TC Chong 
"Toronto Maple Leaf fans are tossing jerseys onto the ice to protest their NHL team’s mediocre play. That seems fitting. Judging by recent results, the Leafs have been throwing some empty uniforms out there, too."  -- Ian Hamilton
"The U.S. deporting violent criminals under President Obama’s new immigration plan: “So, this could impact your fantasy football team."  -- Conan O'Brien
"Instead of trying to dig all that snow out of Ralph Wilson Stadium, NFL officials shifted Sunday’s Jets-Bills game to Detroit. Or to put it in football terms, they took a shovel pass."  -- Dwight Perry
"Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari wished his daughter Megan a happy birthday today,  but he had the date wrong.  Give Calipari credit.  At least he remembered he had a daughter.....And he got her name right."  -- Janice Hough
"Discovery Channel filmed a man getting eaten alive by an Anaconda. In related news, Joe Maddon says his Cubs will make the 2015 playoffs, which is also pretty hard to swallow"  -- RJ Currie
"Taylor Swift,  Amanda Seyfreid and supermodel  Kate Upton posed for a courtside photo at the Knicks-Magic game. Also in the photo were Who Cares and Not Important."  -- RJ Currie


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