** Wide receiver Kaelin Clay caught a 78-yard "touchdown" pass for Utah yesterday, only he began his celebration a little early by throwing the football down at the one yard line. While he and the rest of his teammates did their little victory dance in the end zone, an alert Oregon player, Joe Walker, picked up the loose ball, now officially a fumble, and returned it 100 yards for an Oregon touchdown, tying the score. It all went downhill from there, with Oregon winning 51-27. Apparently the coaches aren't spending enough time on TD celebrations in practice.
** A-Rod (remember him?) supposedly confessed to the DEA, that Biogenesis owner Bosch taught him to help beat drug screening by only providing a 'mid-stream urine sample.'
"Three words I’m willing to bet Grantland Rice, Damon Runyon, Red Smith and Jimmy Cannon never had to type: “mid-stream urine." -- Mike Vaccaro
** Speaking of Vaccaro, who writes for the NY Post, he recently wrote that it's time for the Veterans Committee to elect Gil Hodges into the Hall of Fame. Sorry Mike. Gil was a good player, a good manager and a nice guy, but his numbers don't warrant that honor. 1921 hits, 370 home runs and a .274 batting average just aren't enough.
** Three more sportscasters colorful terms that we don't need.
"Put the ball on the ground" We call that a fumble.
"Eye discipline" I have no idea. Don't look at the cheerleaders when trying to catch a pass?
"He runs North and South" Lord help us if the stadium faces east and west.
** The Yanks have signed their first free agent of the season. It's Chris Young, a backup outfielder that the Mets released over the summer because he played so badly. He did all right for NY, but which Chris Young is the real one? For the Yanks. it's a $2.1 million gamble.
** Pablo Sandoval, the Giants World Series hero, is looking for a 6-year deal. I haven't heard how much money he's asking, but he will turn down a $15.1 million qualifying offer, so I suspect it won't be for a handful of magic beans. If you like innovative math formulas, listen to ballplayers agents. "Pablo is 28, Gustavo Vasquez, Pablo's agent said. He is still young. Maybe if he was 30 or 31 we could talk about four or five years. But he's 28. He deserves more than that." At 28, he wants to be paid until he's 34. But if he was 31, he wants to be paid until he's 36. Even Scott Boras makes more sense than that.
** Ichiro Suzuki says he wants to continue playing. He's 156 hits shy of 3000 hits. He probably needs at least two years to reach that goal. The Yanks don't seem interested and I think he'll have a hard time finding a team that will commit to two years, but approaching that milestone would put a few fans in the seats.
***THEY SAID IT***
"This just in. Utah announces all football players will be required to complete enough math classes to count to 100." -- Janice Hough
"Fox Deportes adding stock-car races in Spanish to its telecasts: “NASCAR previously had been broadcast in only two languages: English and Redneck." -- Greg Cote
"Cowboys QB Tony Romo flew to London in first class as those seats fold out into actual beds so he could rest his injured back. Meanwhile, backup Brandon Weeden sat in a middle seat in “Economy” between two 375 lb offensive linemen." -- TC Chong
"First it was Nate Burleson who broke his arm while reaching for pizza as he drove. Now DeAngelo Hall has re-torn his Achilles while grabbing a slice of pizza from his kitchen. Looks like Nate may have started a Domino's effect." -- Bill Littlejohn