Thursday, March 15, 2018

MARCH MADNESS - PART II

First of all, congratulations to St. Bonaventure and Syracuse, two local teams who made it through the First Four round. At least one more win each would solidify the NCAA committee's choice to include them.

Nicknames that will mess up my wife's picks:
As you may be aware, her choices often stem from the match-up of nicknames or mascots. Sometimes she has to flip a coin -
Seton Hall Pirates vs. NC State Wolfpack - Both were scourges of the high seas - and mean.
Michigan Wolverines vs Montana Grizzlies - An interesting match-up in the forest, on the court, not so much.
Kentucky Wildcats vs Davidson Wildcats - "What do I do now???"
Auburn Tigers vs  Charleston Cougars -  Well, the tiger is bigger.

Where we differ:
She likes Alabama "Roll 'Tide." I will root for Auburn - War Eagle.
     When we were on a trip down south, we stayed in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Everywhere you went, we saw "Roll Tide signs and banners. Later, We stopped at a gift shop in Montgomery, Alabama. I was looking thru some pins on the counter and Anne asked me what I was looking for. "I wanted to see if there was a "Roll Tide" pin," I said, laughing. From behind, a loud booming voice said, "Y'all in Auburn country, now." It was a little old white-haired lady glaring at me. "Yes Ma'am," I said as I scurried away.

I like to watch Duke play. She likes ABGA (Anybody But Grayson Allen). I actually see her point.

Anne asked who St. Bonaventure would be playing next. I told her they would be in with the big boys, now. Actually, #1, 2, or 3 seeded teams  against are not automatic winners against teams seeded #10, 11, 12 etc. That's one of the beautiful things about college basketball. No matter how large your enrollment is, you can only put five guys on the court at once. This makes for competitive games where you wouldn't think there would be.

I can't do a posting without some mention of baseball.
** The NY Yankees have had their wrist slapped by MLB because Aaron Judge told Manny Machado of the Orioles, "You'd look nice in pin stripes."   Baseball called that very close to tampering. Yeah, like Judge decides who the Yankees will sign. Instead of concerning himself with off-the-cuff kidding between ballplayers, why doesn't Commissioner Manfred pay more attention to improving the pace of play in a reasonable manner instead of the ridiculous ideas he's come up with so far.
** Like these changes that are under consideration.
   Start extra innings with men on base, from a man on second with no outs to bases loaded with no outs.  This flies in the face of the integrity of the game.
   Start extra innings with a three and two count on every batter. This like a beer game. Might as well have a keg out at second base. Actually, that's not such a bad idea.
   Let the managers start each extra inning with whatever lineup he wants. If you're going to do that, why not let each teams best home-run hitter bat continually until he makes three outs or hits a homer. 
All of these ideas is meant to keep teams from having 17 or 18 inning games. Yeah, like we have one or two of those every week.
I will repeat the only thing they have to do to shorten games is KEEP THE HITTER IN THE BATTER'S BOX. There, was that so hard?

***THEY SAID IT***
"Drew Brees turned down much larger guaranteed offers to resign with Saints. Nice to know that it’s not ALL about $$$. Though guessing Drew can still feed his family on $25 mill even if 2nd year not guaranteed."   -- Janice Hough
"Frances McDormand’s Academy Award was stolen during an Oscars after party. No truth to the rumor that the perp was wearing a Tom Brady jersey."  -- Dwight Perry
"About  last Sunday’s Oscars telecast, Michael Strahan is to red-carpet interviews what Ryan Seacrest is to rushing the quarterback."  -- Jerry Perisho
"Warriors coach Steve Kerr said undrafted college basketball players should be allowed to return to school, which is different than the 1960s, when students enrolled in school mainly to avoid being drafted."  -- Jim Barach

"Dolphins going to release  Ndamukongsuh. Ouch, that will really stomp on his ego."  -- Janice Hough
"Canadian skicross racer Dave Duncan apologized for his arrest in PyeongChang for stealing a car while intoxicated. Can’t recall Duncan? He’s the skier whose bib had a cup holder."  -- RJ Currie
"Two U.S. gold medal-winning snowboarders are 17. When I was 17, I’d just gotten the training wheels off my bike."  -- Brad Dickson
" Anybody honestly believe the Dolphins are better without Ajayi, Landry and Suh? It’s like you own a car dealership and your first order of business is to fire your most productive, top-earning salesmen."  -- Greg Cote

CP-
 


Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/spt-columns-blogs/greg-cote/article204717914.html#storylink=cpy





Tuesday, March 13, 2018

MARCH MADNESS

It's my favorite sporting event. Why?
1) Well, it's not just one game, it's many.
2) If you root for your team and they lose, there's another "favorite" team playing later that day (Actually sounds like my dating history).
3) College teams have cheerleaders who actually get excited about the game and aren't paid to jump around in skimpy outfits.
4) The cheerleaders jump around in skimpy outfits
5) EVERY game is sudden death. That makes for exciting finishes because teams go all out even if they're behind by 10 points with 30 seconds left.
6) Coaches run up and down the sideline getting more exercise than they've gotten in years.
7) I don't need Dick Vitale to tell me it's an exciting game.    BABY!
8) There's a hero in every game.
9) Did I mention the skimpy outfits?
10) I love the odd nicknames for some of the teams. (Can you say you root for the Hokies with a straight face?)
11) Did I mention...oh yeah, I did.

The usual comments on match-ups
There are odd match-ups that occur accidentally because the "committee" picks them by the team records. My way is much more fun.
** It can't happen, but wouldn't a Final Four consisting of Villanova, Kentucky, Arizona and Kansas State be interesting? You could root for the "Wildcats" and not be disappointed in the outcome. (Sorry Davidson, but I had to choose four)
** There's only three Tigers in the mix this year: Clemson, Auburn and Missouri. If Princeton had made it, we could have had another fun Final Four. Or a better Elite Eight.
** Some nicknames I don't recall seeing before.
     Brooklyn Blackbirds (If they lose, you could sing "Bye Bye Blackbirds)
     Radford Highlanders (Could be embarrassing to play in those kilts)
     Lipscomb Bisons (Bisons, Yes. Lipscomb, not so much)
     Marshall Thundering Herd (I understand the starting five averages 295 pounds)

More on match-up tomorrow, In the meantime, a sad note. The Omaha World Herald has decided to drop "Breakin' Brad," a humor column written by my friend Brad Dickson. Apparently, newspapers aren't above making dumb decisions. There's enough bad news in the world and humor helps us to deal with it. Mr. Dickson was one of the best at providing that valuable humor. Anne Murray sings, "I really could use a little good news today."  We've just lost some.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Heading to March Madness,   64 down to 1.  And besides the possible Trump administration resignations, there’s a basketball tournament going on."  -- Janice Hough
"Ex-Nebraskan Molly Schuyler won the Wing Bowl by downing 501 chicken wings, an average of 16.7 wings per minute — breaking the old record held by a garbage disposal."  -- Brad Dickson[I'm going to miss this - CP]
"Forrest Whitley, the Astros’ 6-foot-7 fireballing mound prospect, has been tagged with a 50-game suspension after failing a drug test. Club officials figured something was amiss last season when his errant spring-training pickoff attempt in West Palm Beach, Fla., finally rolled to a stop in Okeechobee."  -- Dwight Perry

" WWE legend and porn star Sunny was arrested on contempt of court and fugitive charges. She is reportedly in jail, where all holds are barred"  -- RJ Currie
"The U.S. is sitting sixth in the medal count halfway through the Winter Olympics — behind Russia, Which isn’t even officially here. I was pretty fired up about that. That’s like losing a bar bet to an empty stool."  -- Michael Rosenberg

"Reports are that Peyton Manning could make $10 Million a year as an analyst for Fox Sports or ESPN. And that’s before he mentions Budweiser or Papa John’s every 15 minutes."  -- Janice Hough
"Arkansas landed an inside linebacker named Bumper Pool. Now the Razorbacks are searching for an outside backer named Lawn Darts."  -- Brad Dickson

"Danica Patrick’s NASCAR career ended with a win-loss record of 0 for 191. “See? Now leave me alone!” said  Anna Kournikova."  -- RJ Currie
"The U.S. topped Canada to reach the gold-medal match in men’s curling. That’s like the U.S. beating Italy in pasta-making."  -- Roy Neese


CP-