Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A GOOD GAME...FOR YANKEE FANS

A quick 5-run deficit and then...
We've learned not to count this team out this year, but this was unbelievable. Whatever could go right, did. There were some odd things that went on, however. Adam Warren entered the game in the 7th inning with the score 19-5. He finished the game and was credited with a save. Are you kidding me? Annie-O could have probably pitched an inning and held a lead like that. Makes you wonder about the actual value of the save statistic.
Steven Drew entered the game in the bottom of the seventh and still got two at-bats. He didn't do anything with them, of course, but he did get them.
ESPN publishes a baseball power ranking every week. The Yankees, who have the 2nd best record in the AL and the 4th best in the majors, dropped from seventh to eighth this week. Whatever happened to that old east-coast bias?
One of the rarest events in baseball is the catcher's interference. One example is when the catchers impedes a batter's swing. The Ranger catcher was charged with two of these violations last night. That's one way to try and slow down the Yankee bats. Unfortunately for Texas, home plate umpire Andy Fletcher caught them both times even though he must have been exhausted after calling almost 400 pitches in the three and a half hours the game lasted. It's not true that he called for a chair for the last two innings...but I'll bet he would have accepted if one had been offered.
Texas pitching  coach Mike Maddox went to the mound so often, they'll have to re-sod the path from the dugout to the mound. Around the fifth inning, he began to carry a crying towel with him. I don't know if it was for him or the pitchers.

***THE TRADE DEADLINE***
## Some trades have been made with a couple of big names involved. A couple of trades are beyond my understanding. I don't understand why the Washington Nationals needed Jon Papelbon. The Nats already had Drew Storen, who was 29 for 31 in save attempts. Now you're playing with team chemistry. How will Storen react to being replaced and Papelbon is not exactly a guy who's easy to get along with.
## In the past three days, the LA Angels have picked up three outfielders: David DeJesus (35). David Murphy (33) and Shane Victorino (34). Serviceable players all, but are these the guys that are going to take you over the top? The Angels gave up some minor league players (emphasis on the word "minor"), but I don't see this as a big help.
## The Blue Jays acquisition of Troy Tulowitzki is intriguing. Tulo's stats at home in Colorado are much better than those on the road. How much does the thin air of mile-high Denver have to do with that. Plus, how will he do playing on Toronto's artificial turf? Tulo has a history of leg problems and Toronto's field is considered to be one of the toughest to play on. But he can be a potent bat in the middle of an already imposing lineup.
## There are some big-name players still available so it should be an interesting two days. Don't count on the Yankees, though, Brian Cashman has all but said they don't plan on anything , but analysts say he's full of hooey. The Yanks are the Yanks and they'll make an 11th-hour blockbuster.

On Sept. 12th, the Cincinnati Reds will honor Pete Rose with a bobblehead giveaway. Instead of a bat, it is rumored that Rose will be holding a betting slip.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Mets’ Jenrry Mejia, is now suspended 162 games for his 2nd failed PED test. Once you might think you’re invulnerable. The second time? Proves again that MLB drug testing is also an IQ test."  -- Janice Hough
" A life-sized Paddington Bear threw out the first pitch before a Chicago Cubs games. Small children in the crowd should stop having nightmares sometime in 2017."  -- Brad Dickson
" Golfer Robert Allenby fired his caddie mid-round, for the fourth time: “Dear future Allenby caddies: Confine your comments to, ‘Great shot, Bob!’"  -- Greg Cote
"Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch, conducting his annual Fam 1st Family Youth Football Camp in Oakland, stuffed a piece of chicken into his sock to eat later.In keeping with the football theme, it was a single wing."  -- Dwight Perry
"Golfer John Daly has revealed his workout secrets. I’m guessing they involve two laps around a chicken wing."  -- Brad Dickson

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Sunday, July 26, 2015

SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

At the beginning of the season, the experts would make predictions about teams, pennant races and individual players. Usually very interesting and, of course, subject for debate. It doesn't bother me when people make predictions that I don't agree with. What does bother me is that later on they treat their prognostications as though they were gospel.

At the start of the season, everyone had questions about the Yankees, mostly revolving around their health. Can some of their older players play up to the back of their baseball cards, i.e., their histories. Will A-Rod be any kind of player after basically two years off? Will Mark Teixeira be able to rebound after wrist surgery? Does Carlos Beltran have anything left? And there were all the questions about the starters recovering from various elbow, shoulder and knee surgeries?

Good questions all, but that's what they were, just questions, because no one doubted that these players were talented. Now these questions have been answered positively since the Yankees have taken command of the AL East and boast the 2nd best record in the American League. So why are all these experts surprised that the Yanks all performed so well? None of them said these  players WILL NOT be able to play well, that they WON'T stay healthy. So why are they surprised? They agreed that this was certainly a viable scenario. Granted, it is unusual that all of them have risen to the occasion, and perhaps no one, not even A-Rod, thought he would do this well. So lets just accept that New York is the most complete team in the AL East and not treat it as though it was some kind of magic trick.

On the other hand, every one thought that Boston was the cream of the crop and even though they had no reliable starting pitchers, a shortstop playing an unfamiliar position, and a team top heavy with outfielders and no proven catcher. Now that the Red Sox have shown that all their unspoken (By the experts) weaknesses are real, why don't they treat that as a surprise?

The Baseball Hall of Fame
I mentioned this briefly a couple of days ago, but let me elaborate.
Craig Biggio - A somewhat unheralded all-star with definite HOF credentials. 
John Smoltz -  Amazing that he proved his worth in two totally different areas of pitching - starting and relieving. The only other pitcher who handled that change in the Hall was Dennis Eckersley.
Randy Johnson - Total domination that calls to mind  Sandy Koufax, whose numbers didn't really justify his election (165 wins). Johnson ended up with 303 wins. But the domination in talent was evident in both.
Pedro Martinez - Domination, but through intimidation. Pedro would throw at (and hit) anyone, especially anyone who looked like they might beat him. Talented, yes, but it was the fear factor which contributed greatly to his success. Case in point: "In 2001, Martinez said of the Curse of the Bambino: “I don’t believe in curses. Wake up the damn Bambino and I’ll face him. Maybe I’ll drill him in the ass."


It's starts at the lowest levels
You may remember a few years ago when a pre-teen named Jerry Altemonte threw a perfect game and a couple of shutouts during the Little League World Series tournament. The age limit for Little League is 12 or younger. A few months after the series, Altemonte was discovered to actually be 14 at the time.  Cheating at the lowest level. In a recent interview, Altemonte blamed the whole thing on his father and his coach. Altemonte also mentioned how much he loved baseball and listed as his favorite players, Albert Pujols, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa. Interestingly, two of them are among the biggest "alleged" cheaters in the sport.


***THEY SAID IT***
"In the IFAF American football semifinals, the U.S. defeated France 82-0. However, the game tightened in the second half after France’s center began facing the right direction during snaps."  -- Brad Dickson
"Not that Rocky Balboa is showing his age or anything in “Creed” — the seventh installment in the “Rocky” movie series — but the eye of the Tiger now has cataracts."  -- Dwight Perry
"The LA Dodgers have apparently told Yasiel Puig that he will not be traded. Maybe because at this point no other team wants the headaches?"  -- Janice Hough

"Toronto has hired long-time Devils GM Lou Lamoreillo. Who but the Leafs would add a 73-year-old as part of their youth movement?"  -- RJ Currie
" Rob Gronkowski said that he’s read about 80 percent of his autobiography, “It’s Good To Be Gronk.” He’s the first best-selling author to ever utter, “Don’t tell me how it ends,” at his own book signing."  -- Brad Dickson
"Yes, Paul O’Neill talks too much on Yankees telecasts; he drives many viewers crazy. But that could be fixed if only someone at YES could convince him that viewers tune in primarily to watch the game."  -- Phil Mushnick
"Dan Patrick, Bill Simmons, Keith Olbermann and now Colin Cowherd. Will the last star to leave ESPN please turn out the light?"  -- Greg Cote
"Jason Pierre Paul of the New York Giants won’t sign a contract offer right now as he is learning to write with his other hand."  -- TC Chong

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Friday, July 24, 2015

HOW'S KURKJIAN DOING?

It's only been 9 days since I posted Tim Kurkjian's predictions, so things shouldn't have changed that much. However, Tim went against the grain a lot, so let's check.

In the AL, he put his money on Baltimore, Detroit and Seattle.
The Orioles sure didn't look like potential champions against New York this week, in fact, one of the Yankee broadcasters said Baltimore looked like they were just going thru the motions.
The Tigers have lost 4 of the last seven and stand in 3rd place in the AL Central, 10 1/2 games out.
The Mariners have lost 6 of 10 and also 10 1/2 games back.
The Yankees weren't mentioned and have looked like the class of the AL East.
As a side note, the last time the Boston Red Sox won a game was on July 11, almost two weeks ago.

Kurkjian was spot on in the National league with Washington, St. Louis and the Dodgers leading their divisions and Pittsburgh and the Giants pushing for the wild card spots. The Cubs are also a candidate for the wild card.
We'll check back in a month and see if Tim still has a job.

The Silly Season - summer edition:
The trading deadline is approaching with only seven days left. One pitcher has been traded, with Scott Kazmir going to Houston from the Athletics. There doesn't seem to be any big name position players on the line but there is a wealth of pitchers. Those teams ready to trade off some players are waiting to get the best deal they can, while those teams wanting players are waiting for the price tags to come down. Let's see who will blink first.
There are those in Boston who are calling for the Sox to dump Hanley Ramirez, Pablo Sandoval and Rick Porcello - Boston's big moves this off season. Instead, the GM seems poised to move first baseman Mike Napoli. Boston appears to have written off the 2015 season. One writer says that no one should be surprised since the Red Sox have finished last three of the last four years. I never really thought about it like that.
Meanwhile, the Evil Emp...er, the Yankees have only one piece they may move and that's 2nd baseman Steven Drew, he of the .180 batting average. His fielding is absolutely outstanding, however, and with Yanks hitting like Murderers Row, they can probably afford to carry him.  Besides, Annie-O likes him. (She's the queen of the underdogs)

Congratulations to the four newest members of the BB Hall Of Fame, to be inducted on Sunday. They are, Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, Craig Biggio and John Smoltz.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Big news from Green Bay as Brett Favre's No. 4 Packers jersey was retired last weekend. Today the jersey changed its mind."  -- RJ Currie
"Former Cubs (and Yankee) outfielder Joe Pepitone, who was quite the partier, says fans used to throw him joints and grams of cocaine in center field, and he would hide it in the ivy. He said “with all the stuff I was getting in center field, I would have played for nothing”.  -- TC Chong
" Barry Bonds just held his annual baseball camp. It’s the only two-week camp where every kid is guaranteed of putting on 70 pounds of muscle. After completing Barry Bonds’ camp, every camper is presented with a little asterisk."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Oakland Athletics have started their trades earlier this year, sending pitcher Scott Kazmir to the Houston Astros. Thinking the A’s really need to come up with a bobblehead with an erasable face."  -- Janice Hough
"A 2-year-old racehorse in Australia, born with five legs, is doing her thing after undergoing corrective surgery, with a third-place finish to show for her first two starts. The filly’s name? Spare Parts."  -- Dwight Perry
"One of my idols, (showing my age) 79 year old Sandy Koufax threw out the ceremonial 1st pitch to Johnny Bench to start baseball’s All Star Game. Of course, former big league manager Bobby Cox came out and argued that it was a strike and got ejected, as usual."  -- Tony Chong
"During baseball’s upcoming Hall of Fame weekend in Cooperstown, N.Y., officials warn visitors that prohibited items include weapons, coolers and Pete Rose."  -- Greg Cote
" Calvin Coolidge has joined the Racing Presidents at Washington Nationals games. This was after William Howard Taft tested positive for PEDs."  -- Brad Dickson
"The overwhelming favourite lost in the Nathan’s hotdog eating contest July 4. Is it fair to say Joey Chestnut choked?"  -- Scott Ostler
" Defections have been a big story during the Pan Am Games in Toronto. Two Cubans left the baseball team during tune-up games in the U.S., and this week four Phillies asked for asylum with the Blue Jays."  -- RJ Currie

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Wednesday, July 15, 2015

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

While MLB takes two more days off, the sportswriters usually take this time to either reflect on the first half of the season or project the second half finish based on the performance so far. Or maybe not.

A while ago, Tim Kurkjian and Buster Olney got into a little playful name-calling (at least I think it was playful) during a Sunday night baseball game. They called each other idiots or something like that. They might not have been too far wrong. Kurkjian just posted a column predicting the finish for all the teams, Taking into account their first half performance, the shape of their rosters and maybe how much Johnny Walker Red is left in the bottle of scotch. Here's his list:
AMERICAN LEAGUE
East - Baltimore 
Central - Detroit
West - Seattle/Los Angeles Angels
Wild Card - Toronto & the AL West loser

NATIONAL LEAGUE
East - Washington
Central - St Louis
West - Los Angeles Dodgers
Wild Card - Pittsburgh & San Francisco

The National League predictions are a carbon copy of the current standings, so Tim really went out on a limb here.
In the AL, well, I guess if you keep your eyes closed, you won't be influenced by the results of those pesky games the teams went and played. He's picked the Yanks to finish last. Why? because they can't field , their pitching staff keeps getting hurt and the old men in the lineup can't possibly continue to play like they have. Okay, those things are possible, but why doesn't that apply to the other teams as well? How could he think Boston will make a big surge in the second half, especially with the pitching they (don't) have?  Maybe Buster was right.

It's midnight for these Cinderella teams
Kansas City
Houston
Chicago Cubs
Minnesota Twins
This seems like a fair assessment, but I think KC may fare better than the other three. I also think the Seattle pick is kind of optimistic, too.

Oh, by the way, the American League won the All-Star game last night. We tuned in to see the Al score two
runs off  Kershaw. Interestingly, Kershaw was not chosen and created the biggest outcry mostly by Dodger fans. He did eventually make the team and I'll bet the AL team is glad he did.

The trade deadline approaches and don't expect either New York team to make any kind of splash. The Mets have too many holes and the Yanks don't have any position spots open unless somebody wants to take on Beltran's weak bat and strong contract.

Interesting observation by Phil Mushnick of the NY Post. Why didn't the American Women's  soccer team wear red, white & blue?  Mushnick blames Nike, who supplied the uniforms. Why do they get to decide the colors? Don't the people who order them get to pick? And if Nike does make the decision, why didn't THEY choose the red, white & blue?

***THEY SAID IT***
"Sabres centre Ryan O’Reilly has been charged with DUI after his pickup truck ran into the wall of a Tim Hortons in Lucan, Ontario. Note to O’Reilly: That’s not what they mean by “drive thru.”  -- RJ Currie
"Scientists say that California has a slow natural helium leak. Then again, so does Mike Tyson, if you’ve ever heard him talk."  -- Dwight Perry

"Now there’s no Major League Baseball for two more days. So the whole country gets to see what it’s like to be Phillies fans" -- Janice Hough
" A Florida woman is seeking damages in excess of $15,000 after Miami Marlins mascot Bob the Shark allegedly bit her head. If this is re-enacted in court, it will be my Trial of the Century.  Because the incident occurred at a Marlins game, there are no witnesses."  -- Brad Dickson
"In case you're wondering, Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval is not in the new issue of ESPN: THE BODY. If he was, he'd be the first professional athlete to fill a two-page spread without lying down."  -- RJ Currie

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Saturday, July 11, 2015

BASEBALL ON VACATION

Tomorrow is the last day of the first half of the season. Mathematically, it's a little over the halfway mark, but not according to tradition. Originally, is was meant to showcase the stars of each league in a sort of dream matchup, a game between players who did not face each other all year. How would the best pitcher on the Giants do pitching against sluggers from Cleveland or Detroit? Could American League pitchers stop Maury Wills from stealing? The fans of Kansas City would get to see the best from the National League, players that had never appeared in that town.
Now, thanks to inter-league play, the perverted value of the game, combined with the rules and the players that managers are given, the mystique is gone from the game. I guess inter-league serves a good purpose, but the All-Star game itself needs revision - badly. Since broadcasters are recognizing this and airing their thoughts, maybe the powers that be will recognize the problem and fix it. Or, as my friend Brad Dickson says,
"Major League Baseball officials are claiming they have the best all-star game in professional sports. This is sort of like being the smartest stooge."

The lingo of the game:
Have you noticed that former players in the booth use some phrases over and over? Phrases like, "He hit a home run," aren't exciting enough so they've come up with their own lingo. Some are okay, some make no sense and some are just vague enough to be irritating. Here are some with the best explanation I can give:
There are many, many euphemisms for a homer, too many to list here, from He went yard to Went downtown and everything in between.

The hammer - usually a fastball, so called because...who knows.
The deuce - It's a curve ball, given the name because of the normal sequence of signs a catcher gives. One is a fastball, two is a curve, after that, it depends on the pitchers arsenal.
Watching the catchers signals can sometimes allow you to foresee what's coming next. a For example, a fist with the thumb extended usually means throw it to first. It can be fun to see how a batter reacts to the kind of pitch  that is thrown. Try it.
Free baseball - A Michael Kay specialty. He means extra innings, and the idea that you paid for a ticket to a nine inning game and the "extra" innings are a bonus. We at home, get the bonus of extra commercials. Free baseball indeed.
Laser shot - any kind of hard line drive hit. Dizzy Dean used to call them "Blue Darters." Harder to explain but much more colorful.
Highly respected - A phrase assigned to any (make that EVERY) manager, coach scout, or baseball official. If they are that respected, why have they all been fired at one time or another, sometimes multiple times? Some announcers use the phrase almost as though it was a part of the title. I suppose it's better than saying, "Nobody cares too much for him."
Try not to do too much - Sorry but this one makes little sense to me. I like to think my favorite players are trying to do everything they can. It supposed to mean that hitters are not over-swinging, pulling their head and are generally out of control, but they apply it when a batter hits the ball to the opposite field. A player with any training is taught to try hard to do exactly that. They make it sound like a hitter stops at first when he could easily make second, I guess on the theory that you shouldn't expect too many doubles from him.
Cut action or late movement - This is when a pitch moves just a little when it gets right up to the plate. You can always tell when a pitcher has late movement on his fastball because the broadcaster tells you it does. You certainly can't see it. Even in slow motion.

They have a strange culture in the Boston clubhouse. Players texting in the bathroom, Ortiz saying he's too old to play in the field, Ramirez saying he's "not interested" in playing first base.
Texting in the can - well most of us read while we're in there, what's the difference.
Too old? Should the Red Sox cut his pay because he can only play half the game?
Interested? I'll bet he's interested in cashing that paycheck every two weeks. You'd think the GM would say, "If I'm paying, you'll play where I tell you." Maybe couple of pieces of fried chicken on the bag would help.

I mentioned last time how obnoxious Pete Rose was on the Fox Sports Panel last week. Part of it was his insistence that Stephen Strasburg left the game with a cramp when the others were speculating on something more elaborate. "Nope, cramp!" he insisted more than once. No explanation, no justification, just "CRAMP!"  Just for the record, Strasburg had an oblique strain and was placed on the 15-day DL. Pete, don't you get tired of being right all the time?

Phil Mushnick of the NY Post, did a piece on what he calls, "The code of the modern cool."  This is where players DO NOT acknowledge the applause of the crowd over some feat they just performed. They'll go through all kinds of celebratory gyrations with their teammates in the dugout or even on the field, but the fan gets nothing, not even a tip of the cap. In Yankee Stadium, they announced during the game that Brett Gardner has been named to the All-Star team. The crowd in left field cheered like crazy, but Gardner acted like he was totally deaf - until he got in the dugout. On the other hand, Michael Pineda briefly touched his cap when he left Friday's game after a wonderful pitching performance. Better watch out, Michael, you could get kicked out of the Modern Cool fraternity if you keep that up. 

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Kansas City Royals dugout flooded during a game. Royals' fans promptly voted the squeegee guy who mopped it up to the all-star team."  -- Brad Dickson
"Wimbledon saw another opening round exit for Eugenie Bouchard, who also drew a dress-code violation for her black bra. That’s rough: penalized for the one thing in her game that's been uplifting."  -- RJ Currie
"Jason Pierre-Paul on his fireworks fiasco and its aftermath. There’s no need to point fingers."  --  Marc Rogavin
"An arbitrator has reduced the Cowboys’ Greg Hardy suspension from 10 to four games. This for assaulting his girlfriend and threatening to kill her. Well, not like Hardy did anything serious like smoking marijuana."  -- Janice Hough
"Luke Ridnour, the 12-year NBA veteran from Blaine, Wash., recently got traded four times in less than a week — to his fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth teams of his pro career. On the bright side, upon retirement he’ll still have a full-time job just playing the old-timers’ games."  -- Dwight Perry
"Andong Song is the first player born in China to be selected in the NHL Draft. He was chosen in the 6th round by the Islanders. Let’s hope that they don’t play him on the wong wing."  -- TC Chong
  (Note: only an Asian comic could publish a joke like this - CP)
"A 108-year-old Mariners fan will celebrate her birthday by throwing a ceremonial first pitch when the M's host the Angels. She credits her longevity to over 100 years of laughing — mostly at the Cubs."  -- RJ Currie
" The Baltimore Orioles agreed to sign Cuban pitcher Ariel Miranda. Will the last baseball player left in Cuba please turn out the lights?"  -- Brad Dickson

Congratulations to the USA Women's Soccer team and letting our hometown product, Abby Wambach finally get her World Cup championship.  
(Personal thanks to Vancouver's Tony Chong for his support as asked)

CP-


Sunday, July 05, 2015

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

The Yankees are finding new ways to win ballgames. Walk-off homers, walk-off throwing errors - they even went so far as to give up a tying 2-run homer in the ninth inning just to have one of those bouncing celebrations at home plate, complete with the obligatory Gatorade dunking. It is odd to see the celebration center around a pinch-runner, though. "Way to run, big guy!" I am surprised they didn't give Girardi a bath for making the bold move of substituting a pinch-runner for his best hitter and best fielder. It was so bold, I was in the process of booking a flight to New York to punch Girardi in the nose personally. I guess his nose is safe for another day.

##  Continuing my anti-sportscasters rantWhy did David Cone feel it necessary to spend 2 minutes (which seemed like 10 minutes) explaining the length of a pitcher's stride and the effect it had on a pitch? Plus, he repeated himself twice, complete with videos and pictures to demonstrate his point. Coney is a self-professed cybernetics geek, but really, how technical can you get?  Instead of spending millions and millions of dollars on over-the-hill players, why not spend $50 or $60 million and buy Vin Scully from the Dodgers?  Even for just the rest of the season. Dump all these ex-jocks and send Michael Kay over to radio. The only bad part of this is that my Dodger-crazy sister-in-law Pauline would probably never speak to me again.

##  The Yankees are pushing for four players to make the All-Star team: Gardner, Betances, Teixeira and A-Rod. I hope none of them make it because I don't want them to take the chance on getting hurt. I know, I know, Yankee fans that read this are currently spitting on the screen, but let's see how you feel if Tex was to re-injure his wrist. Would it be worth it just to get home field advantage in the World Series? Nope! Betances probably will make it and I guess that's deserved.
Praise continues to be heaped on A-Rod for his surprising production and he has done well with the homers and RBI's, but don't read too much into that batting average. He's gotten an inordinate amount of bloop singles and seeing-eye ground ball hits. It's fine when they drive in a run, but mostly they just artificially inflate his average.

##  Pete Rose was on the Fox Sports panel after yesterday's game and it only took two minutes before Annie-O spoke up: "Boy, Pete Rose is really obnoxious." Welcome to the club, sweetheart.

##  Miguel Cabrera went on the DL yesterday for  6 weeks at least.  .350 average, 15 homers and 54 RBIs. To say the Tigers will miss him is a vast understatement. Detroit churches are filled to overflowing with people lighting votive candles for Miggy. 

##  Angels manager Mike Sciocia and former GM Jerry Dipoto, had a difference of opinion on how the team should be run, with Dipoto feeling that Sciocia and his staff didn't give enough support to the statistical analysis that he provided, with Sciocia tempering them with his own "baseball knowledge." Teams are giving more and more credence to trends and historical data that has become available because of computers. But how far do you go? Who was the top pitcher in last year's World Series? It was Madison Baumgarner. Here's Madbum's take on preparation: "I don't do the scouting thing. I've tried it. It just worked against me. I would be out there thinking of what I can't do instead of what I can."  (I hope David Cone doesn't read this.)

***THEY SAID IT***
"The U.S. and Japanese national teams are heart-broken that FIFA President Sepp Blatter has decided to watch the final tonight from Switzerland.       The FBI is disappointed, too."  --  Jeremy Schaap
"Alabama commit Eddy Pineiro posted a video on Twitter of himself kicking a 73-yard field goal in practice. It was then run back for a touchdown by an Auburn commit."  -- Brad Dickson
"Happy Fourth of July, where we celebrate USA independence by waving flags and shooting off fireworks that mostly are made in China."  -- Janice Hough
" Cleveland quarterback Johnny Manziel said he was “a bit of a distraction” last season. That’s like Wilt Chamberlain saying he was a bit of a flirt."  -- RJ Currie
"Happy birthday to Broncos Hall of Fame QB John Elway, who turned 55 on Sunday. Many more of these, and "The Drive" will include leaving his left blinker on."  -- Dwight Perry
"Texas A & M won’t be joining rival Texas in selling beer and wine at games. Our athletic program has not reached the point where we require the numbing effects of alcohol."  -- John Sharp, Chancellor
"The U.S. and Cuba restoring diplomatic ties is expected to lead to one million Cuban people coming here. And those are just the shortstops."  -- Brad Dickson
"One of Tom Brady's Deflategate balls is up for auction with bids starting at $25,000. Doesn't that seem inflated"  -- RJ Currie
" Philadelphia Phillies’ manager, Ryne Sandberg announced he is resigning and leaving the team. And Phillies’ season ticket holders are thinking “you can do that?”  -- Janice Hough
"I’m going to be on worldwide television this weekend. You can’t miss me. Look for a crazed Oriental dude at the Women’s World Cup with a vuvazela."  -- TC Chong
" How bad is my yard looking? So bad, I think I could host a British Open.”  -- Cam Hutchinson
"Three-fourths of American high-school students flunked geography on a recent standardized test, The Boston Globe reported. Considering the NFL thinks Dallas is in the East, Indianapolis is in the South and St. Louis is in the West — well, is it any wonder?"  -- Dwight Perry
" Yankees broadcasters now mostly ignore Alex Rodriguez’s career totals as drug-aided the way they mostly ignored Robinson Cano’s disinclination to run to first — until he left for Seattle."  -- Phil Mushnick
"Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona told reporters he once ate 17 Popsicles in a single night. This is how it always seems to go for Cleveland pro sports fans. You think you’re getting Earl Weaver, and you wind up with Joey Chestnut."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-