Friday, September 27, 2013


...I'll make it up.

## Mariano Rivera says he didn't know what was going on when he pitched the ninth inning last night. He said he was getting flashbacks  and was in some sort of daze. "I didn't know what was happening," he said. Which must have made the two guys he got out, feel really good. Rivera didn't know where he was and they still couldn't hit him.

## In an odd turn of events, Eric Wedge, manager of the Seattle Mariners, fired the Mariners today, depriving General Manager Jack Zduriencik of a GM's favorite job - canning the manager. This is double trouble for Zduriencik, as Wedge was the only candidate he was able to find who could spell Jack's last name.

## Miami owner, Jeffrey Loria, has fired team president, Larry Beinfest. He also fired Beinfest's assistant, Jim Fleming, after he found Jim hiding in a closet in the trainers room. Loria said he will have more announcements later. Translation: he hasn't found all the hiding places yet.

## Bunglin' Bud Selig has announced his retirement, which will take place after next season. I don't think Bud can expect the same kind of retirement tour that Mariano got.

## Mariano Rivera may play centerfield for New York on Sunday. Is this a fulfillment of a lifelong dream or the start of a new career?

## What's the worst job on the Yankees right now? Being the broadcasters on the YES network. Ken Singleton and Michael Kay have nothing to talk about, nothing to get excited about and are forced to sit in the booth and talk for 3 and a half hours. They beat the Mariano Rivera story to death, brought it back to life and then beat it down again. Even bringing in Meredith Marakovitz for an inning didn't help. That woman sure talks fast. I have to push the slo-motion button on replay in order to understand her.

## Tampa has lost, Cleveland is way ahead and Texas is tied. If the Rangers win, it's going to be ver-r-r-y tight in those three towns this weekend.

## Amazingly enough, my friend Tony Chong used to watch Angel Scull play ball for Vancouver back in the 60's. Reminds me of when Vod and I used to root for Ike Delock, Dooley Womack and Bob Casube, back then. Their only qualification was an odd name. Had he played in the majors back then, Angel definitely would have made our team.

"Mariano Rivera, 44, left the mound at Yankee Stadium tonight for the last time. “A promising career ended so young” said Jamie Moyer."  -- Janice Hough
"The Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a playoff berth for the first time in 21 years. I'd like to caution players and fans in Pittsburgh not to get cocky and expect to make it every 21 years."  -- Brad Dickson
"An ESPN analyst asked for one reason why Nick Saban would leave Alabama to coach in Texas. I’ll go with the only mainland state big enough for Saban’s ego."  -- RJ Currie
"Yankees honor Derek Jeter, retire his number, forcibly remove him from stadium."  --
"Oracle Team USA, down 8-1 to New Zealand, amazingly won eight straight races to snatch the America’s Cup. Or as the comeback is destined to be known: The Miracle on Melted Ice."  -- Dwight Perry


Thursday, September 26, 2013


Actually, for the Yankees, the end is here. They faked us out a few times into thinking they could make the post-season, but reality has reared it's ugly head. The veterans were too old, the rookies were too young and the injuries were too numerous. Especially, the injuries. Some teams make use of a bullpen car, the Yankees used an ambulance.
I'll probably need a scorecard to figure out the lineup next year. There will be massive changes:
Pettitte - thanks for the memories
Rivera - the end of an era
Wells - Started fine, ended badly
Overbay - If it wasn't for Teixeira's injury, he would have been playing in the Texas League
Chamberlain - a 95+ fastball that hitters can't wait to see
Hughes - If he had hit as many home runs as he allowed (24, so far), he wouldn't be on this list
Granderson - 115 home runs against 542 strikeouts, you do the math
Youkilis - 35 years old with a bad back
A-Rod - MLB may solve the Yanks salary problems for next year anyway.
...and then there's Cano
He's looking for $305 million dollars over 10 years. He might as well ask for a part ownership of the team, but, as Scott Boras knows, it only takes One Dumb Owner.
Jeter - Who knows? He will certainly try to come back, but what kind of player will he be? My suggestion is to move him to third base. He'll most likely be able to hit well enough and playing third will save his legs.

## Carlos Gomez of the Brewers turned a home run trot into a base-brawl. Nothing like a little trash talking to get every ones juices flowing. I loved watching Braves catcher Brian McCann block home plate so Gomez couldn't touch it.
It reminds me of a play I saw in a Triple A game in Syracuse. The Syracuse center fielder, a fellow name d Angel Scull, tried to score on an inside-the-park home run and saw the only way to do it was to knock over the catcher. Unfortunately, the catcher was 6 ft 2 inch, 220 lb Harry Chiti and Angel was only 5'8" 162 lbs.
It was like Angel ran into a wall and ended up sprawled on the ground, out cold, whereas Harry Chiti had to be told that Angel had hit him.

## The Pittsburgh Pirates have made the playoffs and have become Annie-O's darlings. There are two   ex-Yankees on the team - Russel Martin and AJ Burnett - which is good and bad.  She doesn't care.
## The Indians will likely get in.  You have to root for Nick Swisher. Don't make him do it all alone.
## If Miguel Cabrera can walk, I have to think the Tigers are the best bet to get to the World Series, Boston's MLB best record notwithstanding.

Let's finish up with a good story - back when baseball was fun.

"The Astros are on pace to have the most profitable season in baseball history. I've watched Houston play; I guess crime really does pay."  -- RJ Currie
" The N.Y. Yankees failed to make the MLB playoffs and the Pittsburgh Pirates are in. This is sort of like Daniel Day-Lewis being snubbed by the motion picture academy and Pauly Shore getting the nod." -- Brad Dickson
"Tuesday, in case you missed it, was National Punctuation Day. So why wasn’t Bartolo Colon pitching?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Police arrested two men who allegedly tried to rob a group of people playing Bingo in New Hampshire: “Cops became suspicious when they saw a car driving away from the Bingo hall going more than 10 miles an hour.”  -- Jimmy Fallon
"The Nationals have been officially eliminated from any possible postseason berth in 2013. Washington fans must be thrilled they shut down Stephen Strasburg last year for this."  -- Janice Hough
"An Italian soccer coach used a full camouflage disguise to spy on his rival at practice. This is when sports cheating has reached a new low. You’re at practice and someone says: “Hey, did that tree just move?”  -- Brad Dickson
"Philadelphia fans cheered ex-coach Andy Reid in the first quarter, then booed him in the second. Not exactly unexpected; he was a fat guy dressed in red."  -- RJ Currie
"With this new two wild card system teams can be out of the MLB playoffs before the screen printing is dry on the postseason t-shirts."  -- Janice Hough


Monday, September 23, 2013


Day nineteen: In Amarillo Texas. Everything's big in Texas - the prime rib steaks and the desk clerks.

Day twenty: I know who Steve Owens is. The townspeople don't.

Day twenty one: The guide at Fantastic Caverns informs us that Illinois is known as the Cave State. This confirms my theory that Illinois is hollow.

Day twenty two: Saw a sign in Indiana that said "Report Drunk Drivers - Call ****"
We called about one we saw in Montana. They didn't seem interested.

Day twenty three: In Canonsburg, PA., south of Pittsburgh, our last night in a motel. Annie-O tried to make a reservation at Sarris Candies, but they wouldn't trust her there alone overnight.

Home tomorrow.

## We missed the celebration for Mariano Rivera. I read he gave autographed baseballs to some of his former teammates. Is it true that he tossed one to Posada, who promptly dropped it?

As of today, The Yankees are the only team in the majors with a winning record and a negative run differential. Explain that one, Vod.

The Yanks have shut down Sabathia for the season supposedly because of a hamstring issue. It wouldn't have anything to do with assuring him of a winning record, would it?

The one-game wild card game between Cincinnati & Pittsburgh may be the most hotly contested game of the year. Bring the popcorn, beer and a pillow, folks, it may be a long one.

Home tomorrow and back to the routine.


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Hot Stoving in September

To answer Picasner's question re: manager of the year in his last post - Yes, you are.

I tuned into the game tonight just as Michael Kay was announcing the Yankee batting order for the fifth inning... "Overbay, Reynolds and Ryan."

My mate commented, "I've heard of Overbay but who are those other guys? Are you sure this isn't an L.A. Law rerun?"

"No, the L.A. Lawyers win way more than these guys."

Hey Chad, what's the over/under on the number of guys on the Yankee's last 25 man roster that will be on the team next year? A stretch limo full?

When a team is playing mediocre ball the banality of their marketing efforts are fully exposed. How lucky to have a big bowl of the Official Ice Cream of the New York Yankees while washing the Official Socks of the New York Yankees in the Official Laundry Detergent of the New York Yankees while taxpayers foot a large part of the bill on interest payments on the Official Stadium of the New York Yankees.

And a hale and hearty "Arrrrrrrrrrg!" to all on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


Day sixteen: We're ready to continue our search for  America - but the van isn't. Loud grinding from the front end. Sears says our rotors need to be turned. Two and a half hours and $200 later, we're off again.

Day seventeen: In the motel - "Sorry, Annie, the clock is on my side of the bed."  "Oh, that's okay. I never use it anyway. The only time I look at the clock is to get the time."   ?????

Day eighteen: Ever been through a Border Patrol Inspection Station? Four burly guys and a German shepherd around my car. I expected the usual 'Where were you born? question. Nope! "Are you both U.S. citizens?"  Did I panic? "Oswego,,  ...Um...My country 'tis of thee..."
Luckily, they laughed - I didn't.

I see the Yanks broke their 4-game losing streak. It doesn't look good for them, but it was a good fight.

I read where John Farrell of the Red Sox, is the favorite for Manager-of-the-Year in the American League. He's done a good job, but he does have all the horses this year. Joe Girardi has to be running away with the award this year. He's had to play a Triple A team that hasn't even played as good as a Triple A team, and they're still in it with a week and a half to go. Am I the only one that sees this?

I'm too tired to research all the quotes. Maybe in a couple of days.


Sunday, September 15, 2013


We're still looking for America - currently in California. What are the odds they keep America here?

Day ten: Oregon roads "sing" to you. The only way to communicate with Annie-O, is to write her notes. Hard to do and steer at the same time.

Day eleven: Road signs can be very interesting.
Weed - San Francisco. Very helpful - if that's what you're looking for'
Umalatta  -  A town? A sandwich? A body part?
A farmer advertising his crop: Cron (sp?) for sale  This was written on three consecutive signs
My personal favorite - an actual route sign in Michigan - Turn sideways at Columbia (Huh?)

Day twelve: Lassen National Park. We never saw a Male employee in this park.

Day thirteen: Toured a Jelly Belly factory today. The guide asked us if we knew what they did with the candy that fell on the floor. I said, "That's where you get the samples you've been feeding us." I didn't get a response, just a dirty look.

Day fourteen: We're visiting my sister-in-law in Ventura. We went out to dinner and I managed to wrestle her to the ground for the check. Of course, she is 80 years old.

Day fifteen: we're suffering from gas price sticker shock. After paying as little as $3.47/gal and averaging about $3.69/gal in most of the country, California prices are all over $4.00. On top of which, they advertise $4.03/gal, which automatically goes up 10 cents or more if you use a credit card.

I see the Yankees are losing games (two in a row to the hated Red Sox) and players - Jeter's out for the season, Gardner's out for the season and A-Rod can hit but he can't run - as opposed to Cano, who can hit but WON'T run.

The Dodgers got beat 19-3 last night. My sister-in-law, a rabid Dodger fan, made us wear black this morning and light a votive candle in church.

"Dennis Rodman is helping to coach the North Korean basketball team: “He’s going to teach them the key strategy that always worked for him: pass the ball to Michael Jordan."  -- Jimmy Fallon
"The NFL fined Packers linebacker Clay Matthews $15,000 for a late hit on 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick last Sunday. Or as Matthews prefers to call it, Kaepernick’s latest tattoo."  -- Dwight Perry
"Jets say they were planning to give Mark Sanchez season-ending surgery even if he wasn’t hurt."  --
"ESPN says they have obtained a photo of Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel signing for autograph broker Drew Tieman this January. Gosh if this is authentic and the NCAA had seen it, Manziel might have been suspended for three whole quarters."  -- Janice Hough
"Ottawa police said in the first week of September thieves stole eight stop signs and 19 signs overall. Acting on a tip from the Yankees, they arrested Buck Showalter."  -- RJ Currie


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Vod, No Doubt

As an ambivalent Yankee fan - support most of the players, "Stick", the television broadcast crews, but not the ownership - it's hard to get bent out of shape about a season as bizarre as this one. So, much to the enjoyment of rabid Yankee fans everywhere, I have had little to say and, I believe, Picasner has said everything that needed to be said (and, as always, much that needn't. Mainly kidding. Sot of. Well, at least a little.) Long story short (LT always cringes when she hears that phrase), Chad and Annie are currently touring the country and are unable to post to the blog and have obliquely suggested I pick up some of the slack. Another Picasner blunder.

Remember, this was not my idea.

The current Yankees are so laid back that the only guys on the bus demonstrating any life or spark are Joe Girardi and Alex. Joe is at least willing to raise his voice from time to time to umpires (and Buck Showalter). Given the spate of incredibly horrendous calls his team endured during the middle third of the season,  I would have alibied Joe had he used a flame-thrower on any of the umpires  who clearly enjoyed sticking it to the Yanks forced to play with a Triple A roster. 

A-Rod has been gutsy, albeit a narcissist, just showing up and has played a better third base than any other guy the Yankees ran out there. MLB (aka slimy owners and Selig and his little troupe of scamps) laid down a 211 game suspension mainly because A-Rod played the same game they are so skilled in - behaving like a weasel and using money to hide the truth. 

The American Pickers, Mike and Frank, are more aggressive haggling over the price of a vintage coffee can than the rest of our esteemed $200,000,000 team. Oops, soon to be a paltry $189,000,000. Speaking of Oops, I just noticed that Chad is back online and still sipping the Wild Card Kool-Aid. Very sad and I'm still going to finish this post.

Every time a Yankee stepped into the batters box in a Red Sox game I thought of that great 50's television show 'The Hit Parade'. When asked what the pitching staff has done about this fiasco I always think of the Frank Zappa song 'Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!'  Giselle MacKenzie  (If you don't get the reference, Google, Bing or DuckDuckGo Giselle) would have taken care of  those chicken-shit bearded rednecks had she pitched an inning. (I apologize to any rednecks I many have just offended by linking them to the 2013 Yankees.) 

In conclusion, and I am as happy as you are that this post and this season will end soon, this is a team with too many 'small y'  Yankees. They don't have a Mr. October and he wouldn't be playing if they did. They have a Mr. November and, sadly, he might be ready to play by then. The Sandman has lost much of his magic and it has always been Magic that defined the greatest Yankee teams. The Magic of Ruth and Gehrig, of Dimaggio, Berra, Don Larsen, Maris, Mantle, Pettitte and Jeter. The Magic is gone. 

I do not mourn for Yankee fans. It's time for them to walk a mile in Cub cleats.

I do mourn for baseball. Without great New York magicians, it is less of a game. 

Peace, love, public education and health care for all,

Monday, September 09, 2013


I've been having a problem getting onto the site, but I've finally gotten thru. Not without some difficulty.
I was sent a verification number  over my cell phone. Annie-O asked me if it was a call or a text message, I said, "No, it was an oral message. A woman read me a number." Annie-O said, "Let me get this straight, It was an ORAL message and it was from a woman?" I haven't figured out how to answer that yet.

I'm glad I'm missing the sports since Sept. 1st. The Yankee pitchers can't pitch and the Yankees are heading down the path that means an early end of the season for them. A-Rod looks better than he has in two years, but it appears that MLB is going to end his career at the end of this season. If he misses just all of next season, I doubt he'll ever be an effective player again. Sabathia will never be an overpowering pitcher again and Jeter, well, his career looks like it may be done also. For all their brave talk, superstars will always follow the money, so I doubt that Cano will be back next year.

Since I'm not up on the sportsworld lately, I thought I'd tell you how our trip is going.

Day one: Delays of an hour at the two border crossings. I didn't help any. When the officer at the American side, asked where we were going, I said Battle Creek, Michigan. He said, "What's in Battle Creek?" I said, "Uh...cereal?" Apparently that wasn't the right answer.

Day two:  Had dinner in a Ruby Tuesday's. Our waitress spoke so softly, it was like being waited on by a mime.

Day three: Driving through Nebraska, there were signs for museums everywhere for just about everything, I guess the state motto is, "We're nothing now, but look at what we were."

Days four, five and six: Can't seem to adjust to the new time zones. We're getting up so early, that we may be starting the next day before the last one is over with. Can someone tell us what day it is?

Day seven: The hell with day seven. Every diary you read these days, has a day seven, so we don't need one more.

Day eight: A visit to Glacier National Park. At least, that's what they told us. Between the tall trees , heavy brush, rain and fog, we didn't get to see much. The pictures in the brochure were nice though,  

 Day eight: Driving day. We keep seeing signs saying, "Watch out for wildlife." The only 'wildlife' we've seen is a woman in hot pants leaving a casino in Kalispell, Montana.

Happy Vacation.