On Tuesday this week, the Red Sox & Blue Jays used 19 pitchers - 12 by the Sox - in a 19 inning game that took 6 hours to play, probably an hour and a half just to change pitchers. Now that's going all out to win a game.
Well, maybe not quite all out. The Sox found an easier way to win. They cheated. Using all the wonderful electronic technology available to them, they stole signs, relayed them to the dugout and finally to the players in the field. Both the GM and the manager claimed to know nothing about it. And Sgt. Schultz never saw Col. Hogan's men doing anything suspicious. Sign stealing is not illegal but it's supposed to be unaided by any artificial means, such as binoculars, CCTV or microphones. Vin Scully used to treat his listeners to mound conversations by reading lips. When teams heard about this, they said, "Hey, wait a minute. This could be a good thing." Soon everyone on the field began covering their mouths like they all had a lethal case of halitosis.
Commissioner Manfred is going to have to do something drastic as a penalty because a thousand dollar fine and a slap on the wrist won't even be noticed by Boston. He could take away some wins but that idea rests only in the dreams of every Yankee fan. We will see.
Announcers like to inform us of every possible milestone that occurs in a game. So much so, they begin to sound so contrived that it's got to be hard for them to keep a straight face while relating them to us. ("Bob, that's only third time a left-handed hitter with a full beard popped up to third with two men on base and one out in the fifth inning of a game in an East Coast city against a pitcher of Lithuanian decent in the last two weeks.") I assume they've run out of reasonable stats.
Here's one that's real and not quite so silly:
Against the Orioles on 9/7, Chase Headley (uniform #12) hit his 12th homer of the season, Later in the game, Starlin Castro (#14) hit his 14th homer of the season. Where the hell is Aaron Judge (#99) when you need him?
The Cleveland Indians have won 17 games in a row - so far. They haven't lost a game since August 23rd. Is there anyone out there who can beat them? On the other side of the ledger, the Los Angeles Dodgers, at one time on a pace to win 125 games, have now lost 9 in a row, and 14 of their last 15 games. Is there anyone out there who can't beat them?
As I keep telling Annie-O when the Yanks slump, baseball is cyclical. everyone streaks and everyone slumps. To wit, Cleveland isn't that good and the Dodgers aren't that bad.
Best move of the season: The Houston Astros just completed a trade with the Detroit Tigers, with the Astros getting Kate Upton for three players and cash. The trade was almost cancelled when the Tigers insisted on packaging Justin Verlander in the deal, but Houston finally relented.
***THEY SAID IT***
"Saturday, a huge Nebraska comeback fell just short as the Huskers lost to Oregon 42-35. How bad was the Husker defense in the first half? At halftime the Oregon marching band scored on the Huskers when a third clarinetist caught a 39-yard touchdown pass from a trombone player." -- Brad Dickson
"Roger Goodell, when asked if a team should sign Colin Kaepernick – “I’m not a football expert.” When the commissioner is right, he’s right." -- Janice Hough
"The Red Sox are in hot water for using modern technology to relay stolen signs using Apple iWatches. The Yankees are counter accused of using a TV camera dedicated to the Boston dugout. Meanwhile, the Mets are still using 70’s communications with Dick Tracy watches and ‘Get Smart’ shoe phones." -- Tony Chong
"Patriots coach Bill Belichick summed up their opening game efforts as “nothing was good enough.” No, wait a minute — that was my ex-wife's grounds for divorce." -- RJ Currie
"Ex-NFL diva Terrell Owens will be on this season’s “Dancing With The Stars”. If you care, keep it to yourself." -- Bob Molinaro
"The St. Petersburg Bowl has been renamed the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl. That sounds like something the Centers for Disease Control would warn us about." -- Brad Dickson
" In a 19 inning game vs Boston, Blue Jays had to use a few pitchers who hadn’t pitched recently. They were so much out of the loop, they had to ask the Red Sox to decode the signs." -- Tony Chong
"Ronda Rousey got married last weekend. Lately just about everybody has pinned her down." -- RJ Currie