Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Syracuse Coach's Boneheaded Defense of Assistant Accused of Sexual Abuse

Buzz Bissinger in The Daily Beast 11/29/2011

What did the debacle of Penn State teach head basketball coach Jim Boeheim in the debacle of allegations of sexual abuse by one of his assistant coaches now unfolding at Syracuse University?


At least nothing until Sunday night, when he tried to save himself from the noose he had placed around his neck with his initial outrageous and ignorant defense of assistant coach Bernie Fine, fired by the university Sunday night after an internal investigation. Even then, Boeheim’s statement an hour after the firing reeked of contrivance and insincerity: a too-little-too-late apology to victims of child abuse. An expression of shock, shocking unto itself given his speed-of-light reaction to the initial charges against Bernie Fine made earlier this month by two alleged victims who spoke with ESPN. Money grubbers smelling fat civil-suit paydays—that’s the way Boeheim basically described them. Liars. Opportunists. Vermin challenging Fine’s career with Syracuse and the great reputation of the Syracuse basketball program itself (let’s ignore the early 1990s when the NCAA placed the team on two years’ probation for a series of recruiting violations in which Boeheim was criticized for not exerting better control of his program).

The allegations against Fine, when first reported by ESPN on Nov. 17, were admittedly muddled. It was clear that more investigation was needed. One of the alleged victims, 39-year-old Bobby Davis, told ESPN that Fine had first started molesting him in 1984 when he was in seventh grade and continued for years. But the lapse of time between the initial alleged contact and the present could not be ignored. It was also true that both ESPN and the Post-Standard newspaper of Syracuse had investigated Davis’s allegations in 2003 and had declined to report anything because of a lack of corroboration. But Davis, when interviewed on camera by ESPN, appeared honest and convincing. The sex-abuse allegations against Fine were further corroborated on camera to ESPN by a second victim, Mike Lang, who is Davis’s stepbrother.

Any idiot, particularly in the wake of the Penn State scandal and 40 counts of serial sex abuse of minors filed by the Pennsylvania attorney general against former assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, would have reacted to the allegations against Fine by offering no comment at all. Any idiot would have realized that nothing is beyond the pale in college sports today, including coaches preying on innocent minors.

But Boeheim reacted with his instantaneous defense of his assistant that was vicious, wrong-headed, ill-advised, offensive, and embarrassing to the university that he supposedly represents. It also showed that in the unparallel universe of college sports, entitled and arrogant and dangerous in what it hides and beholden to no one, the horror of Penn State didn’t even merit a cause for pause by Boeheim. Instead it was business as usual. My team. My players. My coaches. My rules. My realm. And any outsider who challenges that realm can go f--k himself.

“It is a bunch of a thousand lies that [Davis] has told,” Boeheim said to ESPN when the story broke. “He supplied four names to the university that would corroborate his story. None of them did … there is only one side to this story. He is lying. What are people looking for here? I believe they are looking for money. I believe they saw what happened at Penn State and they are using ESPN to get money. That is what I believe.”

It was abundantly clear that Boeheim—who started coaching Syracuse along with Fine as his assistant in 1976—instead of being concerned by the allegations, actually was offended by them.

His statements were pitiful, yet another major college coach invoking omertà and the ironclad rule that you never turn on your own. Until you are backed into a corner because of your reflexive protectionism and can no longer deny what seems all too plausible.

Over the weekend, a third man, 23-year-old Zach Tomaselli, stepped forward and told the Post-Standard that he too had been molested by Fine. ESPN’s Outside the Lines also aired a tape of a conversation Davis had with Fine’s wife in which she said, “I know everything that went on with him … Bernie has issues, maybe that he’s not aware of, but he has issues … And you trusted somebody you shouldn’t have trusted.”

The twin punch of the new revelations, along with a search of Fine’s house by police, resulted in his firing. An hour later Boeheim issued his statement, calling the latest allegations “disturbing and deeply troubling.” He said he agreed with the university’s firing of Fine. He said that the case needed to be fully investigated and that anyone with information come forward, just as he also acknowledged that his previous shark attack “might have inhibited that from occurring or been insensitive to victims of abuse.”

It was a beautiful statement. It expressed the essential requisites of remorse and regret. It was also full of s--t, a coach scrambling like a cockroach.

Should Boeheim be suspended for the rest of the season for what he originally said? Yes. Should he be suspended without pay? Yes, because his salary (a base of over a million) like the salaries of all major college coaches in basketball and football, cannot be justified under any rational academic setting. Let him rejuvenate Occupy Wall Street.

Should he be fired?


At least not yet. There is still much to sort out. In the tape recording of the conversation between Fine’s wife and Davis, it was revealed that they had a sexual relationship. As for the third victim, he himself is facing charges of sexually abusing a 14-year-old boy, which inevitably raises questions about his credibility.

But if Fine did engage in acts of predatory sex on minors, it seems impossible that Boeheim would not have had some awareness of them. Coaches in basketball and football love to gossip. They soak up every rumor. A head coach knows what is being said about every member of his staff. He becomes aware of disturbing behavior. It is one of the prerequisites of his job.

Boeheim has acknowledged that he did know who Davis was, perhaps because he was a ball boy for the Syracuse team at one point, but also perhaps because of Davis’s assertion that he went on road trips with Fine and was once inside his hotel room when Boeheim entered. Boeheim said he has no recollection of ever entering Fine’s hotel room on the road in the 35 years they coached together. That sounds as credible to me as the deep regret he expressed Sunday night after initially describing Davis and his stepbrother as liars looking to make some bucks.

There are still facts to come out, and with the university, the Syracuse police, the U.S. attorney, and the media now investigating, more will come out. But Jim Boeheim should have a suitcase ready.

Given his résumé, which includes a national championship and 24 NCAA tournament appearances, I doubt he will have much problem finding another job if he does get axed. In the world of major college sports, a track record of winning eventually trumps a track record of lying. Somebody somewhere will want him.

Who knows, maybe there’s an opening at Penn State.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


No rants today, it's time to enjoy the best "Family" day of the year. Remember all your family members, especially those who have passed on. Enjoy the meal, ignoring anything that didn't turn out too well. It's still better than the day the turkey's having.

Green Bay at Detroit, the ONLY traditional game and Uncle Al's favorite. Since it's that special game, maybe they'll give him a two-day pass so he can really enjoy it.

The best to all from Vod, the lovely Laura, Annie-O and, of course, Chad


Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Yesterday, Bobby Valentine interviewed with new General Manager, Ben Cherington. Some commentators are saying Valentine is the 'perfect fit' for the job. I was interested in why they thought that and Buster Olney had the best answer. He's the favorite of team president Larry Lucchino. The rumor is that Cherington wanted Dale Sveum but Lucchino didn't. Why? Well maybe Lucchino didn't want a manager whose name looked like a misspelling.
Being the favorite of the top man usually makes you the 'perfect' man for the job, a lesson which Cherington is currently learning.

***THE BOTTOM 10***
Brad Dickson writes a column every week devoted the the 10 worst teams in college football. It's all opinion, of course, but I can't help thinking that he makes a lot more sense than the BCS computer that 'picks' the top 10. Sometimes the list looks like the computer gave up and is using a random number generator. Brad, on the other hand, appears to have determined his list with some actual reasoning. For example:
1. Florida Atlantic (0-10): The Owls' nightmare continues with the loss to Troy. Not the school Troy, some guy named Troy.
3. Akron (1-10): If this keeps up, the Soap Box Derby may relocate to avoid being linked to the Zips.
In the interest of fairness, he also considers things other than just the teams, like Dancing With The Stars judges, Ashton Kutcher and Lee Corso's curse jar.

I usually shy away from stories about scandals and the like, since I write this blog for the amusement of any readers...and me. But this is puzzling. You can't help but read or hear stories on the Bernie Fine situation in Syracuse, and I'm not passing any judgements because I have no information but what I've read. However:
I heard that the Syracuse Police Department refused to turn over their files on the investigations into the incident to the District Attorney's office. How can they do that? Why would they do that? Does Bernie have that many friends?

"Listening to all these NFL players introduce themselves and their college, I propose a new rule – You only get to mention your college or university IF you have actually graduated." -- Janice Hough
"In NAIA college football, Faulkner beat Union 95-89 in three overtimes. The game was tied at 75 at the end of regulation. Can we forget about LSU 9 Alabama 6 and make this the Game of the Century? Faulkner scored a record 14 touchdowns. The guy who does pushups after every TD should be out of traction come February." -- Brad Dickson
"The Saints beat the Falcons in overtime after Atlanta got stuffed going for it on 4th down at their own 29. Can't imagine a more questionable gamble - unless another guy agrees to marry Kim Kardashian." -- RJ Currie
"When I saw the AOL headline “Kris Humphries Breaks Silence on Divorce,” I dropped everything to read that baby ASAP. A nation needs to know." -- Norman Chad
"On ESPN Saturday, Lee Corso got excited and cursed live on the air. Having observed Lee Corso for much of his career I am shocked, mostly that this didn't happen circa 1989." -- Brad Dickson


Sunday, November 20, 2011


...baseball will fix it.

Let's further dilute the value of the whole season by setting up a situation where the pennant winning team has an off-day and finds itself watching the playoffs on TV. We just watched a playoff where the team that established itself as baseball's best, lost to an also-ran team who happened to get hot at the right time. Now that scenario is enhanced by adding ANOTHER wild card game that could force a more deserving team to the sidelines because of some fluke situation that should never occur.
Thanks, baseball. Hope the money is worth it. And it always is.

The Red Sox are thisclose to hiring Bobby Valentine as their new manager. Valentine is a strong-willed, micro-managing Tony La Russsa wannabe. If things don't work out and he can't change the tenor of the clubhouse, he can always revert to a disguise, like he once did when tossed out of a game by the umpires. This would be a big gamble for Boston: it will work perfectly or everybody will be huddled in the clubhouse drinking beer and munching on chicken wings.

More rumors are surfacing that Nick Swisher is being shopped by the Yankees. Nick's biggest drawback seems to be his inability to produce in the post season. If he's traded to a non-contender, this problem would never show up and the Yanks could get better than full value for him. Package him with one of the prized minor league pitchers and maybe Austin Romine and you could have an offer Seattle might find hard to resist and they might finally let go of King Felix.

This is one of the best lines of the year that was quoted in Dwight Perry's column.

"As part of their divorce settlement, Dodgers owner Frank McCourt has to pay his ex-wife Jamie $131 million," noted Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. "Through force of habit, the Yankees offered her $175 million."

"Jonathan Papelbon signed with the Phillies ending seven years with the Red Sox. Guess he'd had enough of that chicken outfit." -- RJ Currie
"The Boston Red Sox say they won't raise ticket prices next season, but finding additional revenue won't be a problem. They'll just start charging players for beer." -- Dwight Perry
"JWOWW of "Jersey Shore" was patted down by TSA agents at an airport in Fargo, North Dakota. Not surprisingly, the patdown lasted over nine hours." -- Alex Shubert
"Matt Kemp signed a $160 million contract extension. The last person Frank McCourt gave that much money also took his house and the Ferrari." -- Alan Ray
"Iowa State stunned Oklahoma State in double overtime on Friday night. Of the 17 Games of the Year so far in 2011, this was my favorite." -- Brad Dickson


Friday, November 18, 2011


We need a break from the harsh realities of the sports world, where scandals are outplaying the the athleticism of the sports.

**The turkey had to be bought fresh from Plainville Farms.
**Getting up early to go out and buy Look Magazine to find out who was selected to the All-American team.
** Watching the turkey preparation: cutting a slit in the skin and stuffing salt, pepper, rosemary and a garlic clove in the slit, filling the bird with stuffing, then rubbing the whole bird with lard.
** My mom getting up at 4:00 AM to put the turkey in the oven (to insure, I guess, that it would be over-cooked).
**The pies were cooked on Wednesday: Apple, Pumpkin (for my Dad) and Pineapple (which I loved, but only if Aunt Kay made it).
**All the side dishes prepared and cooked and set aside in aluminum foil-covered dishes (at 9:00 AM in preparation for a 1:00 PM dinner...and no, they weren't hot)
**Uncle Al carving the bird, claiming for all the world that the best meat came from the backbone (over and over)
**Mom and Aunt Kay gnawing on the turkey neck like a pack of rabid dogs.
**My Dad pointing out "...the part that goes over the fence last."
**Just before the turkey came out, scrambling to get the Thanksgiving day bets down. Eight years old and my first bet - only 25 cents and I lost (Damn you, Texas A & M!) ...and Uncle Al kept my quarter, too.
**Gravy that took 25 minutes to prepare and was still thick and lumpy. You could use the leftover as Spackle.
**Judy feasting on all the black olives she could stuff in her mouth before Aunt Kay caught her.
**Too much food and everyone was stuffed. Then came the promise that next year, "We'll get a smaller turkey. 28 lbs is too much for seven people." (Ya' think?)
**Green Bay and Detroit on TV ("Always take Detroit and the points at home.") Thank you, Uncle Al.
**The adults playing cards" Primera, for pennies, and Aunt Alvena taking home all the money ("Gee, there must be $2.00 there, Alvena.)
**Going home with enough leftovers to feed the Third Army.



Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fair and Balanced

The Silly Season shifts into high gear with the Iowa caucuses and it has already provided us with more silliness than any other that I can recall. This year's cast of characters has included, in occsasionally alphabetical order, Michelle (one l or 2) Bachhman, The Hermanator, The Paul family, Tim Pawlenty, Rick "Gov. Good Hair" Perry, Mitt (??? How many names does one man need???) Romney, and TA DA... The namesake of THE NEWT! There are a few other people included in the republican presidential primary debates, but none add to the witty charm and charisma of this merry band of pranksters. Jon Huntsman? Far to bright and experienced to be included in the first tier of liars, cheaters, and theives - in spite of hair as nice as Mr. Perry's. Even The Trump-meister couldn't crack this lot with more bankrupcies than Newt has wives and sporting a Davy Crocket Coon Skin C,ap hairdo.

I'm kidding, of course. These are all serious people, seriously working their agenda. A serious matter for everyone, and I'll give this Silly Season all the seriosness it deserves, as Chad will with his. And at the end, we'll crown The NEWT of The Year! Who do you think Simon will vote for?

This post has not been proof read, spell checked or grammar checked. If you can figure out anything from the stuff my guys have blabbed, are currently blabbing or will soon blab, you'll have no problem with this.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


It's pretty sad that the biggest stories are negative ones. The Penn State scandal, the NBA lockout, and another apology by Rex Ryan, to name three.

Coach K (YOU spell his last name!) became the 2nd coach to amass 900+ career victories and will take the record (903) after the next game. Jim Boeheim isn't too far behind, but probably won't make 900 till next season.

The Green Bay Packers are still undefeated and the front office has got to be thinking, "Hmmm, guess we kept Bret Favre one year too long."

There is a rumor (It's the Silly Season, don't forget) that the Phillies are considering trading Cole Hamels. There goes Brian Cashman's "quiet winter."

This should keep me from getting too cocky. My friend Dwight Perry has over 300 friends on facebook. I have 39...and three of them are animals!

Jonathon Papelbon signed with the Phillies. I guess he got tired of chicken and wants to try the Philly cheesesteak.

The annual winter meeting for general managers takes place in Milwaukee this week. Scott Boras will begin receiving GM's as soon as he can get the kneelers in place. His throne was shipped in last week.

"Polling company Poll Position conducted a survey in which 76 percent of Americans said they are doing just fine without NBA games. The other 24 percent said they were NBA players."
-- David Thomas, Fort Worth Star-Telegram
"I'm not surprised that female kegler Kelly Kulick posed for ESPN the Magazine's "Bodies We Want" edition: "Who better than a bowler to be a pin-up?" -- RJ Currie
"The University of Oklahoma unveiled a statue of ex-Sooners football coach Barry Switzer this month. And in other regional news, pigeons in Nebraska plan to fly south for the winter this year." -- Dwight Perry
"Rex Ryan said the time-out called by Mark Sanchez near the end of the first half (with 17 seconds left on the play clock, thus leaving more time for Tom Brady to score), was “the stupidest thing in football history.” After watching the Falcons go for it on 4th and 1 at their own 29 against the Saints in OT, I’m not even sure it was the stupidest thing on Sunday." -- Janice Hough
"Dodgers owner Frank McCourt has been ordered to pay his wife $131 million. To cover this, the price of a Dodger Dog is now $6,000." -- Brad Dickson


Friday, November 11, 2011


## Actually, it's probably ADIOS, JORGE. He's acknowledged that the Yanks are not asking him back and he's undecided on his plans for next year. It's got to be hard for athletes who believe that there is still something left in the tank, to face the fact that evaluators obviously don't think so. Especially for those players as intense as Posada is. His talent may have faded, but his intensity has not. There may be other factors influencing his decision. "I think after he stays home a few more months and he realizes how hard it is to stay home with the kids," Posada's wife, Laura, told AP, "I think he's going to pay a team to have him play." It sounds like Laura may be willing to kick in a few bucks.
The Hall of Fame talk has already started. As good a player as he was, I don't think his numbers make him a viable candidate.

## As we approach the Silly Season, I see a new trend developing. The Yanks are always mentioned when discussing any free agent. That's not new. Nor is the fact that the media always claim the Yanks are front-runners in acquiring any big name free agent. This year, however, Brian Cashman says the Yankees are NOT in hot pursuit of any big names. They are contacting a number of players agents but claim they are only paying "due diligence." What the heck does that mean? It sounds similar to wearing 'the patch' when trying to quit smoking. It will be interesting to see how long Cashman can hold out.

## I see Lindsay Lohan has been sent back to jail to start serving...wait, never mind. She's already out.

## Vod is on a little fall vacation down south, visiting friends and playing golf. Not to add any pressure, Vod, but did you hear about this little tidbit?
Arnold Palmer, playing a round this week at Bay Hill Golf Club in Orlando, Fla., recorded his 20th career hole-in-one en route to an 18-hole score of 79 ....at age 82.
And after reading about the 97-year-old bowling a 697, I don't feel so bad about retirement anymore.

## The list of contenders to buy the Los Angeles Dodgers is getting longer. Former players such as Steve Garvey and Orel Hersheiser have thrown their hat (cap?) in the ring, along with former owner Peter O'Malley and Mark Cuban. Now I hear that Rochester billionaire Tom Golisano, former owner of the Buffalo Sabres is interested. That would be a big change from Frank McCourt. Golisano bought the Sabres for $92 million and sold them eight years later for $189 million.

## Of course, the big news these days is the scandal at Penn State. Without going into all the details, I have to admit that everybody's hands are dirty in this one. While some may applaud the actions of PSU's board of directors, I have some issues with their actions, too. They fired Joe Paterno, head coach for 46 years, in a most embarrassing manner. They sent a messenger to Paterno's house, with an envelope containing a phone number for him to call. When he did, a board member told him over the phone that his services were no longer required. I'm not saying he shouldn't have been fired, but after 46 years, he should have been shown a little more respect. He didn't commit the act, not did he hide it. He simply didn't pursue reporting it as far as he could have.

"Of course the Yankees are scared off by C.J. Wilson losing games in the playoffs; they’ve got enough guys of their own who can do that." -- Mike Lupica
"It may take a while to sort out the best offer for the Dodgers. Peter O'Malley's interested in buying the tea. Mark Cuban is interested in buying the team and Kim Kardashian is interested in marrying the team." -- Argus Hamilton
"The Obama administration says there is no evidence that extraterrestrials have ever contacted a human. OK, then, explain Dennis Rodman." -- Dwight Perry
"Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 30 days in jail, but first she gets to finish her Playboy shoot? Some people manage an end run around the law, others pull the naked bootleg." -- RJ Currie
" Reading more and more about the Penn State case, seems pretty obvious the school should change their mascot from “Nittany Lions” to “Cowardly Lions.” -- Janice Hough

They keep talking about losing the NBA season and give us daily updates on how many "scheduled" games have been lost, so why not eliminate the season altogether? Lets start the first ever ALL-NBA tournament. Using last years standings as a base, schedule an elimination tournament including all 30 teams. A few best-of-three, series, a few best-of-five and then finish with the best-of-seven. The post-season is all anybody cares about, anyway. Including the players.

Nah. Makes too much sense.


Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Post card from Vod

Dear Chad,

Vacationing in Tampa Bay and enjoying the competition. Florida and Guatemala are currently in a heated Race to the Bottom. Guatemala is soon likely to be led by a hard-right storm-arm but Florida already has Gov. Rick Scott and Sen. Marco Rubio so they are safely ahead in the "Elected Thug"competition.

Guatemala leads in the "Most Under 30s Living in Poverty" and Florida, despite the best efforts of the aforementioned Scott and Rubio, is unlikely to challenge for the lead in this essential category. First, as we know, Florida is full of retired COPS (crazy old people) and Florida's under 30 population is very busy killing each other or leaving the state to distribute illegally obtained perscription drugs.

Finally, Florida trails badly in the "Infrastructure? We Don't Need No Stinking Infrastructure." competition. Unlike a Michigan city that recently not only turned off their street lights but ripped them out of the ground and sold them for scrap because they couldn't afford the light bill, a large part of Florida remains lighted - and Guatemala never has had street lights. USA! USA! USA!

When not watching the competition we are having a great time walking the beaches, hanging with old best friends, eating at fish shacks and dodging wacko drivers. Florida - a nice place to visit until the sea level rises.

Success with Honor

We all know about the depth of corruption that the tide of billions of dollars has washed over "big time" (read D1) college football and basketball, information that we typically choose to ignore when we trot off to the Dome or tune into the video feed of choice to watch our favorite gladiators. Now, Penn State is providing an opportunity for a clear look at the noxious lies, blind eyes and crininal acts that thrive in the bottomless sludge hidden by the ocean of cash. More entertainment brought to you by ABC, CBS, ESPN...2...U, NBC, TBS...

As you learn more and reach your own understanding of the circumstances, always imagine your ten year old son, grandson or neighborhood kid in a Penn State shower.

Meanwhile, as Penn State circles the wagons and hires the best lawyers and PR firms that television money can buy, the too-big-to-fail conferences are divvying up the country and future mountains of cash. Th SEC is buying branches in Syracuse and Pittsburg and the Big Ten, Twelve, Fourteen or whatever, may soon be big enough to host their own Sweet Sixteen. Regional and numeric designations in conference titles are moot. The money is not.

Act on your conscience and hit them where they hurt. Stay away from the arenas. Ignore them. Turn them off.

Wish you were here!


Monday, November 07, 2011


We're still a few weeks from when the "Silly Season" begins in earnest, so we'll just clean up a few odds and ends.

** As often happens when someone retires, their achievements are magnified out of proportion. Tony La Russa is currently being hailed and one the smartest, most knowledgeable and most meticulous manager ever. A cinch Hall of Famer, right? Well Bob Ryan says to wait a minute...there is a "but". This is the same man who claimed he had no idea that Mark McGuire was using steroids. He says he "...never even heard the rumors." Apparently no one ever said he had the best hearing.

** Bud Selig actually had to read his speech after the World Series. I guess he didn't want to forget who was playing.

** Melky Cabrera has been traded to the San Francisco Giants. With Melky's .305 batting average and 18 home runs, the Giant pitching staff is organizing a ticker-tape parade down Divisiderio Street, which is appropriate, since, like the Giant offense, Divisiderio Street is all downhill.

** The Orioles finally talked someone into taking the General Manager's job. 53-year-old Dan Duquette has a three year contract and a promise of psychiatric care at the club's expense.

** Free agent Jose Reyes is supposedly one of baseball's worst defensive shortstops. It shouldn't hurt his chances for a big contract. He'll field one ground ball and then become a permanent DH, effectively finishing the season with a 1.000 fielding average. Hey, it worked when he won the batting title.

** It's been almost two weeks now, and Theo Epstein has not produced one win for the Cubs. He has fired his first manager, however. He is also considering upgrading aging Wrigley Field, starting with "...those awful weeds growing on the outfield walls."

** Shaquille O'Neal has written his first book. Don't you think he should read one, first? This is the guy who, when joining the NBA (remember them?), said that he ALWAYs played on winning teams "...except for High School and College."

"The new Nebraska-Iowa rivalry trophy is the Corn Bowl, a basin filled with corn. I'm sorry, you take a basin, fill it with corn, that's no longer a basin it's a trough. The teams are playing for a trough." -- Brad Dickson
"Stanford scored the winning touchdown in the third overtime last weekend to finally down USC 56-48. The game lasted longer than Kim Kardshian's marriage." -- RJ Currie
"The New York City department of health has issued grades to all of its restaurants based on cleanliness. The grades are A, B, C, and White Castle." -- Conan O'Brien
"And you thought the price of filet mignon was steep? The Yankees signed CC Sabathia to a five-year, $122 million deal, That works out to $400,000 per pound." -- Cam Hutchinson
"Sure, the Orioles poured hundred of pounds of bronze into that new Brooks Robinson statue.
But shouldn't it at least have a gold glove?"
-- Dwight Perry


Wednesday, November 02, 2011


Apparently, so does ESPN. TWO of the Top Ten Highlights were taken from an exhibition game of MLB All-Stars against the Taiwan national team. Naturally, both highlights included Yankees: Curtis Granderson hitting a grand slam and Robinson Cano making (for him) a standard grounder pick up and throw.
Another "highlight" was a replay of a break-away dunk by a Syracuse Orangeman in a "pre-season" game against Division II Cal State-LA. Pre-season, exhibition, scrimmage, etc., are college basketball terms for games involving Div I teams against 'tin-cans.' So Syracuse has 1-0 record and Boeheim hasn't thrown his first tantrum yet.

## Other sports headlines I'm trying to get interested in:

** Tim Tebow is a starting quarterback. Why? No one knows. He runs the ball pretty good, but he's no leader and he can't throw. He's Michael Vick without the arm. Instead of playing, he should be following the coach around the sidelines, carrying a clipboard and taking sandwich orders.

** Former Rochester All-Everything basketball player, Shenise Johnson, is the AP pre-season, first-team All-American, yet failed to make the National Team that was chosen to go to China for a tournament. Three years ago, she joined a Miami Hurricanes team that won only nine games, and led them to the ACC title last year. Luckily, the people who picked the team is a closely guarded secret.

** MLB says Frank McCourt "looted" $190 million from the Dodgers, and is being forced to sell the team. He's asking for a ton of money for the team. How much? Well, even Mark Cuban has thrown his hands up and walked away.

** Cardinal manager Tony La Russa has announced his retirement. Actually, he retired two months ago, but the call didn't go through.

** Having driven across the country 4 times, I cringe every time I hear how ignorant high school students are when it comes to geography. I'm beginning to understand it. The Big East Conference has invited SMU (Dallas, Texas), Air Force Academy (Colorado Springs, Colorado) and Boise St. (Idaho) to join the conference. You reap what you sow.

** The Name Game: The Oakland Raiders have signed wide receiver, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, over the strong objections of the teams equipment manager, who says they won't have enough room for a number on the back of his jersey.

** In an attempt to lure more fans into the stadium, the NY Mets have lowered their ticket prices for the 2nd year in a row and are moving the fences closer to home plate and also reducing the height of the walls, to make it easier for their hitters. Maybe they should consider putting a better team on the field. ...Nah!

** A local bowler just rolled a 697 series. Not that big a deal, until you find out that the bowler, Tommy Pisano, is 97 years old.

** I'm not a big fan of college football, but there is an impressive game scheduled for this weekend: #1 LSU at #2 Alabama. My very impressionable wife, Annie-O, rooted for Iowa St. for two years, after we accidentally came across a bus taking fans to a game at a rest stop in Iowa. After watching them throw a football around, chanting football cheers and everyone decked out in red & gold, every Saturday was "Go Cyclones" Saturday.
Last year we stayed in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, on a game day. so now I'm hearing "Roll 'Tide" in my sleep.

** The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees are playing the entire season on the road while the stadium is being refurbished. 37 of the "home games" will be played in Rochester and seven more will be played in Dwyer Stadium in Batavia, NY, home of the famed Muckdogs. A package of 7 tickets for box seats will cost $50, which, in Yankee stadium, will get you very little change after you buy a hot dog and a beer.

"Calling Frank McCourt a 'looter' is a little like calling Hurricane Katrina a gust of wind." --Jerry Perisho
"Northern Illinois 63, Toledo 60. Did the NCAA start their basketball season without telling us?" -- Janice Hough
"A soccer game in Romania was halted after a fan punched a player on the field, breaking his cheekbone, and others pelted the pitch with flares over a controversial call. Guess the "Please Check Your Weapons At The Door" policy could use a little work." -- Dwight Perry
I had one trick-or-treater in a uniform holding a dangling, broken telephone. I said "Who are you?" He said, "Tony La Russa." -- Brad Dickson
"A suggestion for St. Louis reliever Mike Rzepczynski should he ever meet Finnish curler Markku Uusipaavalniemi. Buy a vowel." -- RJ Currie
"A photo surfaced of Rob Gronkowski of the Patriots posing topless with a porn actress wearing his jersey. Beats the heck out of any time I played shirts and skins." -- RJ Currie
"Two LSU starters have been suspended for Saturday's game after failing a drug test. The team leads the SEC in holding. And that's just in the locker room." -- Comedy writer Alan Ray