Thursday, August 30, 2012


## The huge Red Sox/Dodgers trade is five days old. Not a significant number of games to be able to judge the effects of the trade, but lets check the status so far.
The Red Sox weren't going anywhere, so it's not surprising that their record is 2-3 since the trade. They didn't receive any impact players in the deal, they are just basically setting themselves up for some big off-season deals. And they are still 13 and a half games out.
The Dodgers, on the other hand, had to feel as though they had become solid favorites to win their division after the deal. Their record? A duplicate 2-3. They have gone from 3 and a half back of the Giants to 3 games out, but I wouldn't call that any big charge to the top.

As of this morning, Melky Cabrera still leads the National League in hitting, with a batting average of .346.  I wonder how Bud Selig would handle it if a suspended player were to win the batting crown. In order to qualify for the batting champioship, a player has to have 3.1 plate appearances for evey game the team plays. At the end of a 162 game season, that figures out to 502 appearances. Melky currently has 501. Sorry Melky.

There has been a lot of talk about the amazing season Derek Jeter is having. Columnist Skip Clueless...erBayless, has openly suggested that Jeter's season is suspect. The two main reasons being his horrid start in 2011 and his age (38). In most people's mind, accusing Jeter of using PEDs is like accusing the Pope of using condoms: It just can't be. They say the crooks are always ahead of the cops, but I find it hard to believe that Jeter could be tested  for all this time and not be caught if he was using.
There is also a grass-roots movement for Jeter to win the MVP this year, an award he has never won. Two writers, Eric Karabell and David Schoenfield, debated this topic, which morphed into a discussion of whether or not Jeter might be the best shortstop of all time. I won't comment on the discussion about defense, since I think defensive statistics are worthless (as are Gold Glove awards), and go directly to one remark that was made by Eric Karabell. Schoenfield mentioned Derek's clutch hitting and Karabell said that wasn't a factor because "...clutch hitting is worthless." Schoenfield was stunned and so will the rest of baseball when they hear about this. Karabell acknowleged all the championship rings, but dismissed them as unimportant also. Cal Ripken was his choice, but his only argument was Ripken's  longevity. I should mention that Karabell writes the Fantasy Baseball column for ESPN., so he's probably used to living in a fantasy world.

Speaking of PEDs, Roger Clemens will be pitching another game for the Independent League Skeeters. He keeps denying that he wants to pitch for the Houston Astros this season, but the Astros seem interested, probably because he would draw a crowd. I think Roger's plan is to get back on a Major League roster so his retirement recycles and would begin again this year. This would push his availabilty for Hall of Fame back five years. I believe he hopes that this will help his ability to get in, since he would be further removed from the PED accusations. Good luck with that.

The injuries are beginning to tell on the Yanks. You can't lose your numbers 3 and 4 hitters without suffering a little power outage. It also hurts to have two starting pitchers on the DL. I know all teams have injuries, but they're not in first place, trying to hang on. Another factor is the inability of these players to rehab in the minors, since the minor league season is over with at the end of the week. The Yanks are going to have to hold on another week and hope the injured players can find their stroke very quickly.

"Fox Deportes has signed on to televise stock-car races in Spanish next year. Currently, NASCAR is broadcast in only two languages, English and Redneck"  -- Greg Cote
"The Washington Post endorsed the Nationals' planned shutdown of pitcher Stephen Strasburg. Shouldn't the Post be more interested in shutting down certain politicians?"  -- Bob Molinaro
"In case you missed it, just 41 days after NFL receiver Chad Johnson got married, his wife filed for divorce. One day it's china patterns, the next it's a quick out pattern."  -- RJ Currie
"Gosh, this is serious. Hurricane Isaac has now caused LSU to cancel practice for their football season opener Saturday. Against North Texas. That might put the spread under 50."  -- Janice Hough


Sunday, August 26, 2012


## According to Tim Kurkjian, there are still General Managers out there who still don't believe this trade. Back in 1960, the Tigers and the Indians pulled off what was considered at the time, to be a spectacular deal. Cleveland sent Rocky Colavito to Detroit for Harvey Kuenn; a batting champion for a home run king. Their combined salaries were $80,000. By comparison, Adrian Gonzales makes that by the 5th inning of the first game of the season.
Think about this: the Boston Red Sox just sent A QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS in salary to the Dodgers. You could probably buy the whole Houston Astros team for that - including the stadium.

The Red Sox still have problems, though. Alfredo Aceves has been busy slamming Bobby Valentines office door for two days like a petulant two-year old. Little by little, GM Ben Cherrington is dismantling the "dynasty" that Theo Epstein built. I hope the Chicago Cubs are watching.

## Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson, broadcaster for the Chicago White Sox is in the soup again. A while ago, he was chastised by the White Sox front office and Bud Selig, because of an on-the-air rant about the performance of an umpire. After apologizing profusely, he promised he would never do that again - until yesterday. When a Sox player complained about a called strike, the home plate umpire tossed him, and threw out manager Robin Ventura for good measure. Hawk couldn't stop complaining about it, so I guess he's in for another chewing out. Last time he said he had a headache for two days after being scolded by everyone except the grounds crew. He said, "I don't ever want to go thru that again. I'd rather fight Rocky Marciano." No contest there, Rocky's been dead for 43 years.

## The Yanks dropped another because they failed time after time with men on base. Jeter, Swisher, Cano and Teixeira are all hitting, but the bottom 5 guys in the lineup aren't. That has to change and fast.
Hiroki Kuroda had one bad inning and that was the ball game. While he struggled, the TV cameras flashed to the dugout to show pitching coach Larry Rothschild deep in thought. I believe he was trying to remember Kuroda's name.
As long as the Dodgers are throwing money all over the place, I wonder if they need a very highly-paid third baseman. I think we can get them a deal.

## A headline to think about: THE ROCKET COULD GIVE THE ASTROS A BOOST.   Roger Clemens struck out two and allowed one hit in three and a third innings pitching in an independent league game. He wants to pitch again and the Astros are actually thinking about it. The word 'boost' scares me. The last time Roger was involved in a situation where 'boost' was involved, he spent a month in a courtroom and put three jurors to sleep.

## The marketing people in Seattle continue to amaze. Felix Hernandez wants to pitch more often and he'll try anything. Check this out:
{Note: You may have to copy the link into your browser to get it to come up.]
(A thanks to Dwight Perry)

"Bartolo Colon reportedly took steroids as a pizza topping."  -- SPORTSPICKLE.COM
"One of gymnast Aly Raisman's Olympic gold medals got a dent in it when she dropped it. Alas, it didn't stick the landing."  -- Dwight Perry
"The LPGA is in town this week for the Canadian Open. All the local Korean restaurants are booked solid.   One owner said, “It’s a real dog eat dog business.”  -- TC Chong
"With their  trade with the Red Sox, the Dodgers have added another $261 million in payroll. Any truth to the rumor that Los Angeles's 2013 uniforms will feature pinstripes?"  -- Janice Hough
"Fifty year old Roger Clemens has signed with an independent baseball team in Texas. Despite his age, scouts say he still has something left. In his medicine cabinet."  -- Alan Ray
"Thirty-eight-year-old troubled receiver Terrell Owens signed with the Seahawks. This was contingent on Owens passing a physical and Seahawks coach Pete Carroll passing a mental health evaluation."  -- Brad Dickson
"A fan is suing the Dallas Cowboys, claiming she suffered a burned buttocks after sitting on a bench outside the stadium on a hot day. If you’re a regular reader of this column, you know I’ll be covering the story more extensively than I did Super Bowl XLVI."  -- Brad Dickson


Friday, August 24, 2012


## The biggest one right now involves the Red Sox and the Dodgers. The Sox would send Carl Crawford, Nick Punto, Josh Beckett and Adrian Gonzales to L.A., but nothing has been mentioned about what the Dodgers would give up. This sounds a little far-fetched to be true. A second rumor is that the Dodgers would get Adrian Gonzales and the Washington Nationals would be getting Josh Beckett. Again, there is no word on any reciprocal players, so these rumors may be preliminary at best.
Bobby Valentine had this to say, "I have no thoughts at all." This comes as no surprise to me. When pressed on the issue, Valentine was his usual confusing self. "I talked to Ben Cherington this afternoon, and there was no mention -- at all. There wasn't any conversation at all."  I wonder if he actually listens to what he says.

## The 'King Felix to the Yankees' trade has started up again. I can't see this taking place either. First of all, if Seattle actually offered to trade the King, they's probably have to get Yankee Stadium in return - and I mean the whole stadium. Secondly, if you saw the game after Felix' Perfecto, the Mariners handed out bright yellow T-Shirts emblazoned with the crown, and EVERYBODY wore them. With that kind of following, Osama Bin Laden had a better chance of hiding than the Mariner front office.

## Melky Cabrera suspended.
Barolo Colon suspended.
Two Tampa Bay Rays minor leaguers suspended.
Lance Armstrong loses all seven of his titles.
Now I know why Clemens is trying for a comeback. With all these other suspensions taking place, he thinks no one will notice.

## Ivan Nova is now on the 15-day disabled list with an inflamed rotor cuff. That's starter number three that has lost time this year. I love Larry Rothschild.

"San Jose blueliner Douglas Murray, who had no goals last season, is reportedly dating Elin Nordegren. Talk about ending a scoring slump."  -- RJ Currie
"Former Cy Young award winner Bartolo Colon has just been handed a fifty game suspension for steroid use. Colon had been struggling lately and admitted to PEDs usage as his career was becoming just a semi-Colon."  -- Tony Chong
"A Roman lead scroll from the year 3 A.D. — unearthed in England three years ago — has a curse written on it, researchers now say. Talk about prescient: It mentions 25 cubs and a goat."  -- Dwight Perry
"At the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game between New Orleans and Arizona, a replacement referee announced the opening coin toss incorrectly. That's when you know it may be a long season – refs are huddled around an instant replay camera to figure out the opening coin toss."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Mets have shut down Johan Santana for the rest of the season. Frustrated Mets fans shrugged, figuring the rest of the team shut down over a month ago."  -- Janice Hough
"Nike gets together with LeBron James and they designed a new shoe for $315. Nike had an explanation for the reason these shoes are so expensive. They said the kids in China making the shoes are demanding two cents a day now."  -- David Letterman
"Augusta National Golf Club accepted two female members. Is this the end of “The Old Boys Club”?  The new members weren’t given green jackets. They were handed green halter tops with matching hot pants."  -- Tony Chong


Wednesday, August 22, 2012


Sometimes the blogs just write themselves:

## The Princeton Review has released it's annual list of the  "Best Party Schools."  This year's winner is West Virginia University in Morgantown, WVA. This is a good choice. I've been to Morgantown.  It already looks like the aftermath of a really good party.

## I see Curt Schilling is no longer out of work. He's back on ESPN as an analyst. I guess the idea to add him to the cast of a sit-com didn't work. Maybe it was just the new name they didn't like: "Two Broke Girls and Curt."

## Roger Clemens has signed to  pitch for the Sugar Land Skeeters in the Atlantic League. This is a punchline for which no set up is needed.

## Bartolo Colon has been suspended for 50 games for testing positive for testosterone, joining Melky Cabrera. This is no evidence that both have applied to the University of West Virginia.

## Phil Hughes is pitching for the Yanks against the Chicago White Sox tonight. According to ESPN, he has tried four or five different pitching patterns this year. Unfortunately all them have included giving up a lot of home runs.

## MLB has banned Juan Nunez from all clubhouses. This is the associate of Melky Cabrera who was responsible for the fake website. What great timing. In a related story, an order for Melky Cabrera T-Shirts has been cancelled. No word on the  Juan Nunez T-Shirt order.

## I'm not a big fan of Jim Bowden, former Major League General Manager, who writes for ESPN. This quote is one of the reasons. "Clemens is a Skeeter not a cheater but no longer has the heater that will light up the radar meter."  He's as good a poet as he was a General Manager.

"The next Summer Olympics are in Rio, where beach volleyball players are considered overdressed."  -- Brad Dickson
"Cornerback Antonio Cromartie says he's the second-best receiver on the Jets after Santonio Holmes. Isn't that like saying after Goliath, you're the second-best Philistine?"  -- RJ Currie
"The NHL seems at serious risk of a cancelled season because of labor strife. Dear hockey: Most of America barely likes you as is. Don't press your luck."  -- Greg Cote
"Yankee pitcher Michael Pineda got busted for DUI in Tampa, Fla., early Monday morning. So how long before some wiseacre bar in Boston starts serving Pineda Coladas?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Red Sox players went to ownership trying to get manager Bobby Valentine fired:  So this is where Dwight Howard's been for the last four months — in Boston?"  -- Mike Bianchi
"Tim Tebow had a rough night in the preseason game against the Giants. He was intercepted three times while warming up on the sidelines."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Boston Red Sox, 11th in the AL in ERA, have fired pitching coach, Bob McClure. Maybe they need to bring back the beer and fried chicken."  -- Janice Hough


Monday, August 20, 2012


If you listen to a lot of Yankee games on YES Network, you hear about the exploits of hitting coach, Kevin Long. He supposedly turned Granderson from an automatic out against left-handers into a feared home run threat. He spent one day with Casey McGehee and straightened out his swing. Maybe he is that effective, maybe he's not, but he is mentioned as being helpful all the time. What you don't hear is how helpful pitching coach Larry Rothschild is. Hughes is prone to giving up homers, Nova has lost his command, Garcia was so bad in the beginning of the year that he was sentenced to the bullpen for a month until the Yanks had no choice but to put him back into the rotation. Where is Rothschild while all this is going on? No tales of miraculous cures, no kudoes from the pitchers themselves and no praise from Girardi. Where is Mel Stottlemeyer when you need him?

The drama continues in Boston. Last night, the ESPN announcers told the audience that a decision on when Carl Crawford would have season-ending surgery would be made in a meeting on Tuesday. Then, a couple of innings later, they said the decision had already been made, that the surgery was scheduled for Tuesday. Two innings later, we were back where we started; a Tuesday decision was still the plan.
The July infamous owner/players meeting request came from Adrian Gonzalez. Well, not really, it just came from his cell phone. Three players were involved in making the request, they just used Gonzalez's phone. Wait, it was Kelly Shoppach who made up the request and used Gonzalez's phone without his knowledge. But Gonzalez MAY have know about it. And finally, Shoppach says the team was in New York and he was in Texas when that happened.
Who do you believe?  Nobody.

The Astros have the worst record in baseball (39-83 .320) and new owner, Jim Crane is determined to change that. It appears he's trying to do that by becoming the worst owner in baseball and take the pressure off the team. The manager, Brad Mills, and two of his coaches were fired in the locker room after a 12-4 loss to the Arizona Diamondbacks. Okay, the team wasn't doing very well. They began the year with arguably the worst team in baseball and management has traded away most of the experienced, senior players, turning, what one analyst says is a Triple A team into a Double A team. But still, they had to do that in the locker room after a game? I hope they at least let Mills  take a shower before he left the stadium.
In a related story, Bobby Valentine was quoted as saying, "Some guys get all the breaks."

I mentioned a few days ago that Nomar Garciaparra hadn't been seen in a while. Well, he has been spotted doing the color analysis for the Little League World Series on ESPN. How appropriate.

.Speaking of the ESPN announcers, did anyone else notice the difference between the two color commentators last night during the Red Sox-Yankee game? Terry Francona was almost giddy during the game, perhaps as a reaction to the state of the Red Sox. Orel Hersheiser, on the other hand, sounded like he was having trouble staying awake. If he had fallen asleep, it would have been all right with me.
Josh Beckett was taking so long in the stretch position before pitching, I thought Valentine might send the pitching coach to the mound to make sure Beckett hadn't fallen asleep.

"Hundreds of fans lined the streets of Moffat to see Scotland's first-ever sheep race. Sadly, no one was awake to see the finish."  -- RJ Currie
"Deer Camp," a musical about deer hunting, opens Sept. 14 at the New Century Theatre in Minneapolis. Now comes the tough part: Lining up Bambi for some cameo shots."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Houston Astros, with MLB’s worst record at 39-82, fired manager Brad Mills and two coaches last night. Could have been worse, they could have made Mills stay for the whole year."  -- Janice Hough
"Diana Nyad is again attempting to swim from Cuba to Florida. Is it a good idea to show 11 million Cubans that this is even possible?"  -- Brad Dickson
"The Los Angeles Lakers pulled off a trade for the NBA's top center, Dwight Howard of Orlando.  The trade was delayed three months until a Kardashian could be brought in to perform the physical."  -- Argus Hamilton 


Sunday, August 19, 2012


I had previously praised Cabrera because he didn't try to weasel out of his positive test, ala Ryan Braun, but it turns out to be untrue.  Apparently Melky and his entourage planned to initiate a fake website that advertised a vitamin supplement which fraudulently contained a testosterone-like ingredient. The MLBPA has an agreement in place that allows a player to be excused from a positive test if it can be proved that he ingested a banned substance unknowingly, which basically means a substance which  contained a banned substance, without listing it as an ingredient. 
Unfortunately for Melky, people actually investigate those claims and the fake website and non-existant substance were quickly discovered. It was then that Melky "confessed." The Players Association filed a grievance which they ultimately dropped.
50 and 100 game suspensions are obviously no deterrent. We need a one-year or longer punishment to try and stop this.

That's what a lot of sports writers are saying. Well. it is his fault. He inherited a team of prima donnas that were uncontrolled and did nothing to change that. In fact, he made it worse. And he still is in a deep state of denial.  Just yesterday, he said he still feels that the Red Sox can make the playoffs and, "...the players I talked to all agree with me."    Which would be fine if he had talked to more than three players, because they're  probably the only ones that are still talking to him.
The owners are trying to spin the player/owner meeting that took place by saying nobody said they wanted Valentine replaced and it was a productive meeting. They also said those meetings take place all the time  and they're always helpful. Wonderful. How come several Boston players said they never heard of such meetings  and have never been invited to one. How can you believe anything that comes out the Red Sox organization anymore?

Torre has decided that Don Mattingly should be suspended for 2 games for arguing with an umpire. That's like arresting a cop for shooting a criminal because he damaged a bullet. Umpire Angel Campos ejected Matt Kemp for encouraging a teammate ("Let's go Dre."), and then ejected Mattingly for arguing about it. He also ejected reliever Joe Blanton for complaining about the strike zone, AFTER he had been taken out of the game and was walking off the field. This umpire is out of control and Joe's answer was to suspend Mattingly. Campos should have been suspended indefinitely and sent to the Joe West Umpire Remedial Training Course. Not that Joe has ever been there.

In an effort to overtake the Texas Rangers, the LA Angels went out and acquired Zack Greinke. In some people's mind, this made the Angels favorites to win the AL West. In response, the Rangers traded for Ryan Dempster to counteract the Angels move. The only help these two pitchers have been is to improve the batting averages of their opponents.
In three starts, Dempster has pitched 17 innings, given uip 24 hits, 16 runs and 5 homers. He's currently on the restricted list for 'personal reasons.'  If shell-shocked can be called a personal reason, then I understand.
Greinke has been slightly better, giving up 31 hits, 16 runs and 4 homers in 26 innings. Unfortunately for Texas, he's still on the active roster.
For the record, the Angels are in 3rd place, 8 games back of the Rangers. They're toast.

" Out of habit this week wonder if NBC will air the Nightly News tape-delayed at midnight?  --  Janice Hough
"Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles."  -- Jay Leno
"In 2016, golf will be included as an Olympic “Demonstration Sport”. Swedish Women are already listed as a 6 to 5 favorite to win the 9 iron event."  -- Tony Chong
"Naturally there's talk of Olympic swim star Michael Phelps taking his talents to 'Dancing With The Stars'. As for the perfect dance partner, how about Daryl Hannah in her mermaid outfit?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Police say a man accidentally shot himself in the buttocks at a Nevada movie theater during a showing of “The Bourne Legacy.” Was he wearing a Plaxico Burress jersey?-- Janice Hough


Saturday, August 18, 2012


On the pre-game show last night, one of the reporters mentioned that the Red Sox have been greatly hindered by player injuries. There does seem to be a lot of injuries this year, more than we've seen in the past. Are players getting hurt more often or are teams more aware of the injuries?
 I recall back in the '60's, the same 8 position players took the field, game after game after game. If astarting pitcher was ahead in a game, he pitched all nine innings unless the other team started to hit him. Now, we have platoon positions, players who start only against lefties, others who start only against righties. Teams have 7th inning specialists, 8th inning specialists and "closers." Teams even have what they call "the situational lefty." In the National League, the absence of the Designated Hitter produces the "double switch," which means a team uses most of it's bench every game. Because of these situations, you would think players would last longer. They don't.
I started to think that somehow, someway, money had to be involved. Maybe it's not the whole cause, but it's a definite factor.
The Washington National's Stephen Strasburg is about to be shut down because sound medical advice says the Nats should limit the stress on his surgically repaired elbow, and their owner GM and manager all agree. Well, guess who else is involved? Strasburg's agent, the inimitable Scott Boras. His attitude is -Don't ruin my pitcher or I won't let other players sign with your team. You think this is my opinion? Read this quote: "
“I went to the owner and said ‘You better start Edwin Jackson, you better do this because you are going to need these innings because we have this plan for Stephen Strasburg,’” Boras said. “And you know what? Ted did it.”  (Note: Edwin Jackson is another Boras client)
"Rizzo (the General Manager) and I put this team together. I got eight or nine guys on the team.”
I guess we know who the real "Baseball Czar" is.

...or as I like to say, "Nick Johnson and others."  I looked up the lists to see which team had the most players on it. A high number of players disabled does not automatically mean a team can't compete.
For example:
Toronto has the most - 13
San Diego has 12
The Dodgers have 11
Baltimore has 10 (including Nick Johnson)
Boston has 9
The Yankees, with the best record in the AL, has 11
So it's not how many are disabled, but how well their replacements play. The Yanks have been blessed because they seem to have the best bench in baseball. Jones, Chavez, Nix, Ibanez and McGehee have all performed way above expectations. You can thank Brian Cashman for that. On the other hand, in acquiring that powerhouse Boston lineup last year, Theo Epstein effectively gave away the farm and now there's nothing left. Including Theo, who got out before the other shoe dropped.

Nobody thinks it's good when better than 50% of your runs come via the home run, but it does wear on the opposing teams when one swing destroys the one or two runs they scraped and clawed for. Last night, the Yanks sent five balls into orbit along with the psyche of another starting pitcher and a Red Sox manager. As Annie-O commented last night, "I'll bet Valentine can't wait for the end of the season." I'll bet he can't wait for the end of the weekend.

"Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis imposed a ban on his players using Twitter. Good luck with that. It's probably the only Bengal behaviour that can't be arrested."  -- RJ Currie
"So how soon before Balco rolls out its first Melky Way power bar?"  -- Dwight Perry
"The U.S. topped the London Games with 104 medals. So congratulations to all the Olympic medal winners/future 'Dancing With the Stars' contestants."  -- Jimmy Kimmel
"A giant sculpture known as “Touchdown Jesus” near Cincinnati that burned to the ground in 2010 is being replaced by a new “Hug Me, Jesus.”. The new figure has arms outstretched rather than raised high. Guess they figured touchdowns in Bengals country were unrealistic."  -- Janice Hough
"Congrats to Mariner’s Felix Hernandez for his perfect game vs the Tampa Bay Rays this week! Rays’ manager Joe Madden’s note to self. “We need to get Felix before the Yanks sign him and we see him more than once or twice a year”.  -- Tony Chong
"The U. S. is lead China in both number of gold medals and number of total medals. In response, China said that's nice but we still have all your money."  -- Craig Ferguson 
"A 70-year-old Nebraska football tradition — releasing 5,000 red balloons when the Cornhuskers score their first touchdown — might be in jeopardy because of a national helium shortage.
If they have to switch to hot air, there's always Lee Corso"  -- Dwight Perry.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012


Ball players always think they can beat the system. Why do they even try? Money - money - money, that's why.  Melky Cabrera of the Giants was headed for the biggest payday of his life. He's hitting .346 and is the motivating force of the Giant offense. Not any more. He's been suspended for 50 games for testing postive for a banned performance-enhancing substance. How sad. At least he didn't make any lame excuses.
"My positive test was the result of my use of a substance I should not have used," Cabrera said in a statement released by the union. "I accept my suspension under the Joint Drug Program and I will try to move on with my life. I am deeply sorry for my mistake and I apologize to my teammates, to the San Francisco Giants organization and to the fans for letting them down."

He was a fan favorite in San Francisco, even inspiring a fan club: "The Melk-Maids." He had nicknames like, "The Melk Man," "Melky Way" and "Got Melk?"  Now he can add another one: "Got Juice?"



...and still hitting homers. They're still on a pace to hit 250+ for the season. They've beaten the Texas Rangers twice using their biggest weapon - the aforementioned fourbagger.  Nick Swisher has had the big blow in both games including the Yankees 9th Grand Slam of the season.
In the first game, the Yanks continued the the rude welcome the American League is giving to Ryan Dempster, or as one wag calls him, Ryan "Dumpster." The final score was 8-2, but the game never seemed that close. Last night, Matt Harrison escaped a number of tight spots only to watch reliever Alexi Orgando try to throw 99 mph fastballs past the Yankee sluggers. As David Cone likes to point out, fast isn't enough.
Two home runs later, the game was in Hiroki Kuroda very capable hands.

Now the word is that some of the Red Sox players had a meeting with the owners and GM Ben Cherington about 3 weeks ago, to complain about Bobby Valentine. Apparently, Valentine wasn't too worried because it was only 17 players. The other 8 weren't told about the meeting. One of the things they complained about was the fact that Valentine left Jon Lester in a July 22 game, in which Lester gave up 11 runs.
Pedroia has been mentioned a number of times as the most vocal critic, but has denied that he wants Bobby fired. "It's tough," Pedroia said. "We had a meeting. I'll be honest with everybody. We had a meeting in New York. The coaches had a meeting. Bobby had a meeting. We all had a meeting. Basically, when I spoke, I said we all need to do better. That includes owners, Bobby, coaches, especially the players."
They're not playing very well, but they seem pretty good at talking about it. Here is Buster Olney's take on the story and an accompanying piece by John Tomase.

...and they can play soccer, too. You can say all you want about the scantily-clad beach volleyball players, but there was nothing more beautiful to me than the USA Women's Soccer team showing their grit, determination and talent in winning the Olympic Gold Medal. The USA won the most medals overall and the USA women won 17 of the 29 golds, nothing inspired more nationalism than the soccer team. Congratulations.

I don't have much love for the international style of "basketbrawl." Some of the fouls the refs allow are vicious and mean-spirited. Carmelo Anthony suffered an intentional blow to the nether regions, which would have resulted in an ejection in the U.S. and probably a bloody nose and more on a sandlot court.  This method of fouling from behind to prevent fast breaks is reprehensible. Under international rules, that's a foul and the ball out of bounds. In civilized basketball, that's an intentional foul, two free throws and the ball out of bounds. In the Olympics, I didn't see screens, I saw muggings. I applaud the USA team for maintaining their composure through all of this.

They know how to answer a question without saying anything. This question was put to the Dallas Cowboys' Tony Romo after a pre-season game:
"What will your team work on when you go back to practice this week?" The answer- "We'll probably work on what we need to work on." Okay, thanks for clearing that up.

A while back, I complained that when Chad Curtis was arrested, they described him as "Ex-Yankee Chad Curtis..." even though he had played for 4 other teams beside New York. Yesterday, another  story began, "Former major league outfielder Chad Curtis..."

This one to former Red Sox, Johnny Pesky, who died Monday at age 92. He only played for 10 years in the majors, 7+ years with the Red Sox, but he was beloved in Beantown in no small part for his spirited play. He was a Billy Martin-type but with more ability. He hit .307 for his career. He will also be remembered for the famous "Pesky Foul Pole" down the right field line in Fenway. It was named by former Sox pitcher, Mel Parnell, but no one knows the circumstance behind the moniker. Some say it was because Johnny sliced one of his career 17 homers around the pole to win a game for Parnell, others say Parnell was kidding Pesky on his lack of home run power by referring to the pole which is 302 feet from home plate, and he might 
even have been just calling it "that pesky foul pole" as an announcer. It doesn't matter. As they say in the movies, "When the legend becomes the fact, print the legend." 

"South African gold medallist Cameron van der Burgh admitted to cheating in the 100-metre breaststroke by kicking more than allowed at the start. That's dirty pool."  -- RJ Currie
"In case you've lost track, Chad Johnson switched his surname to Ochocinco and then back to Johnson again. Now his name is Mudd."  -- Dwight Perry
"Swim star Ryan Lochte fessed up to urinating in the pool: "Now we know why Lochte went last in the relays."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"Alex Rodriguez put his Miami mansion up for sale for $38 million: The home boasts nine bedrooms, 11 bathrooms and 426 mirrors."  -- Gary Bachman
"Belarussian shot-putter Nadzeya Ostapchuk was stripped of her gold medal just hours after the close of the Olympics because she tested positive for steroids. On the bright side, Ostapchuk threw her shot in disgust upon hearing the news — and bettered her Olympic mark by 5 ½ feet."  -- Dwight Perry
"Evelyn Lozada is seeking a divorce 41 days after marrying Chad Johnson. This almost makes her an honorary Kardashian."  -- Janice Hough

[Brad Dickson is on vacation until next week - CP]


Saturday, August 11, 2012


In spite of the supposed advanced medical knowledge that exists today, more and more teams are suffering from the injury bug. Check out the latest:
San Diego closer Houston Street on the 15-day DL with a strained quad
Ranger catcher Mike Napoli with a strained quad (obviously, "A brother from another mother")
Red Sox rookie phenom Will Middlebrook broke his wrist when he was hit by a pitch
And finally, CC Sabathia is on the 15-day DL with tightness in his elbow.
And that's just in the last two days. Whatever they're doing, they're making it worse.

They won the game 5-2, and they only needed one home run, but it was enough. Fortunately for New York, Toronto has had so many injuries this year, They basically fielded a Triple-A team. Luckily, the Blue Jays have names on the backs of their uniforms, or manager John Farrell would have been yelling, "Hey you! Yeah, you on 1st base!" all day.  As it was, he carried the roster around with him in the dugout. Pitcher Aaron Laffey last 5+ innings. Farrell would have pulled him sooner, but he couldn't find the name of a reliever soon enough.
What's good for the Yankees is that their bench players are performing, whereas  Boston's subs are not, nor are Toronto's replacements. We'll see how many times the Yanks can replace injured players and stay on top. They've lost their ace reliever and now their ace starter. It should be interesting.

I thought I heard thunder a minute ago, but it was just home plate umpire Jim Joyce punching out another batter.

A couple of months ago, Texas Ranger Josh Hamilton was a sure-fire triple crown winner, leading the AL in Average, Homers and RBIs. Now, he's in a batting slump, can't hang onto his bat when he swings and has chewing tobacco addiction. A different kind of triple crown, and not a good one.

Have you noticed that we haven't seen Nomar Garciapara on ESPN lately, gracing us with his analysis of baseball. Maybe this is one of the reasons. On May 12th, 3 months ago, Nomar announced on "Baseball Between The Lines," that New York has no chance to make the playoffs because Mariano Rivera is done for the year. Currently NY leads the AL East by 6 games. Good call, Nomar.

As I write this, I read that the Yanks are completing a deal for Derek Lowe as a stop gap while Sabathia is out. The Yanks said he will pitch out of the bullpen, which to me, means David Phelps will be starting on Monday. 

"The NASA rover Curiosity successfully touched down on Mars. It was followed by two Tim Tebow passes."  -- RJ Currie
"Anyone else who used to watch Jackie Gleason reruns think that synchronized swimming is basically the June Taylor dancers going to Sea World?"  -- Janice Hough
"The first photos are being sent back by the Mars rover Curiosity. Talk about ubiquitous. In one, you can see Bob Costas reporting on the Olympics."  -- Brad Dickson "The Cowboys have apparently talked to Plaxico Burress’s agent about signing the free-agent wide receiver. Could be a good fit – Dallas has a strong quarterback, a winning tradition, and loose gun laws."  -- Janice Hough
"It was not a good Olympics for the USA men’s boxing team in London. Our 184-pounder was TKO’d by Camilla Parker-Bowles."  -- Brad Dickson



Thursday, August 09, 2012

A WIN IS A WIN matter how sloppy it looks.  McGehee missed an easy grounder, Cano kicked one away and Teixeira screwed up a ground ball. Sabathia was inconsistent and  Robertson didn't look overpowering but he was the victim of some bad breaks. The hitting was fine. I was glad to see Granderson moved down in the line up, but I still want to see Ichiro batting 2nd, even though he does look like he's lost a step running the bases.
Sometimes I think Girardi makes moves because he's tired of sitting in the dugout. Unless Sabathia had a sudden attack of heartburn, there was no good reason to take him out. I believe that Robertson and Soriano should always start an inning and shouldn't be brought in in the middle. This was just another example of Girardi over-managing. He must think he's the 2nd coming of Tony LaRussa.

"I don't think it's deflating." Of course not. No team is bothered when they score 9 runs and still can't win the game. Valentine has gotten a vote of confidence from the General Manager and the owners. That can spell the kiss of death. About 30 years ago, George Steinbrenner SWORE that Yogi Berra would manager the Yankees for the WHOLE year, "...come hell or high water." Yogi lasted 16 games.

Can things change very much in that space of time?  It's possible. After the 1st 50 games, Baltimore and Tampa led the AL East and the Yanks were 2 and a half back. Now the Yanks are 4 and a half in front. That's a 7 game swing, so you have to keep playing hard. On the other hand, Boston was last, 3 and a half out and now they are 4th but 10 games back. So it can get worse, too.

Country/Western music star Randy Travis was arrested by the Dallas Police on Tuesday night, after crashing his Trans-Am. It was reported that he was drunk, naked and combative. And you wondered how they come up with country music songs.

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings won the Gold Medal in Beach Volleyball against the other American team of Jennifer Kessy and April Ross. The match seemed one-sided and I would like to say that Misty and Kerri beat the pants off their opponents, but...nah, too easy.

"Bobby Valentine just said he thinks his Red Sox are a playoff team. And Josh Beckett is thinking, “Hey bro, how much of my beer are have you been drinking?”  -- Janice Hough
"In Olympic equestrian competition, Queen Elizabeth II's granddaughter won silver. I'm a little suspicious of favoritism because she didn't use a horse."  -- Brad Dickson
"NBC apparently showed a "wardrobe malfunction" in women's water polo, where a Spanish player's nipple was briefly exposed. In related news, ratings for women's water polo jumped 50%"  -- Janice Hough
"So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them."  -- Conan O'Brien
  [When they're not busy making Olympic uniforms - CP]
"A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name "Speedo." It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts"  -- Craig Ferguson.
"I wouldn't say one man seems to be dominating Summer Olympics coverage, but NBC now stands for Nothing But Costas."  -- Brad Dickson


Wednesday, August 08, 2012


Yanks lose again
Valverde did everything he could, but the Yanks couldn't pull it out. You can't really call Detroit's Valverde a closer. He 'finishes' the games, but he doesn't close anybody down.  This can't be too good for Jim Leland's heart. Luckily, Valverde got to face Granderson to get the last out. It wouldn'st surprise me if he pitched around 4 or 5 guys to get to him, even if it meant giving up a couple of runs. At least, that's the way it looked.
Vod asked about the over/under, Jeter hits vs Grandy strikeouts. Here's the math: Granderson is on a pace to end up with 200 strikeouts, while Jeter's pace gives him 212 hits. If you're a betting man, I'd still put my money on Grandy.
Okay, so he's not the A-Rod of old, but it seems to me that the rest of the Yanks are being pitched a little differently since he went on the DL. I just think his reputation still carries a little weight, even if the skills aren't as prevalent anymore.
Speaking of the lineup, it's gotta be time for a change. Move Ichiro up to second and Granderson down to 6th or 7th. He'd still breakup rallies down there, but at least Cano and Teixeira will get to hit with men on base and less than two outs.

I'm not buying it
Barry Bonds said in an interview that he belongs in the Hall of Fame, "...without a doubt." Sorry Barry, but there are doubts. They're called the 'creme' and the 'clear.'  Remember?

It's not so bad
When Ryan Dempster was handed his hat in his first start after coming to the American League from the Cubs, there was a lot of talk that coming to the AL was a mistake. He achieved some redemption Tuesday, when he shut down the Red Sox on 6 hits and 3 unearned runs in 6+ innings. On the other hand, who hasn't shut down the Red Sox this season.  The Sox ace left-hander, Jon Lester, took the loss. He's now 5-10 for the year.

And the Olympics continue
The Olympics are never without their little controversies. So far, we've had 9 athletes test positive before the opening ceremonies, a Chinese swimmer performed so well, that a lot of suspicions were raised (nothing came of it), two badminton teams were disqualified for attempting to throw their matches, US gymnast Aly Raisman needed her coach to file an inquiry (the polite way to say 'protest') to earn a tie for the Bronze in the individual balance beam and a race walker was disqualified for doping. A race walker, for heaven's sake. How does a PED help you walk?
I am amazed at how they took an event like diving and turned it into 5 differnt events. Individual diving, team diving, platform diving, springboard diving and synchronized diving. It seems they're trying eveything they can to make it exciting. If you want excitement, why not throw a couple of sharks in the pool? "Yeah, they won the event, John. Too bad they can't be here to receive their medals."
The Beach Bikini Compet...oops, sorry... Beach Volleyball competition has it's gold medal game  tomorrow.  I understand it features two American teams, a lot of sequins and very little spandex.

"I think we're a playoff team and I think we're going to be there before the season is over." He'd be right if you separate the word 'playoff,' because their play has been off all season. For the record, they are one game under .500, 9 games out of first, and  four and a half games behind in the wild card race with five teams above them.

"Minor-league manager Joe Mikulik had a meltdown and passed third base to a man in the stands. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed getting past first base."  -- RJ Currie
"Former left fielder Jose Canseco has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Or as he prefers to call it, an E-7."  -- Dwight Perry
"Random Olympic thought. The “Fastest Man in the World” would still end up as lunch for a pack of cheetahs."  -- Janice Hough
"Table Tennis and Badminton are official Olympic sports. Ladies and gentlemen, we are about eight years away from seeing a gold medal awarded in lawn darts."  -- Brad Dickson

The Over - Under Question

Will the number of Curtis Granderson strikeouts be over or under the number of Derek Jeter base hits for the 2012 season? And by how many?

Send your answer to:

Picasnser Plaza
"Now You See It, Now You Don't Contest"
New York, NY

Monday, August 06, 2012


Everyone talks about the Tigers hitting, and it is good with Cabrera and Fielder anchoring a formidible lineup, but their pitching isn't bad either. Verlander, Porcello, Sanchez and Scherzer have a combined 30-10 record with only Sanchez, at 1-1, an unknown.  The Yanks will have to hit, because the pitching staff's ability to shut teams down is sporadic at best.  A split on the road would be okay with me.
Joba Chamberlain is back...I think. After hearing about him throwing pitches in the 97-100 mph range in the minors, 93 mph was the best he could do in his first appearance in New York. Either he was very, very nervous or they have a defective radar gun in the minors.

## AJ Burnett is now 14-3 with a 3.19 ERA for the Pirates.  The talent was always there, but he was far too inconsistent in pinstripes. I remember a line from 'The Devil's Advocate," when Al Pacino (the Devil) said to the hot-shot lawyer, Keanu Reeves, "Do you have the ability to summon that talent at will?" AJ didn't in New York, but best of luck to him in Pittsburgh.

## When Texas acquired Ryan Dempster from the Cubs, they moved Roy Oswalt into the bullpen. He had a 5.82 ERA and allowed 83 baserunners in 39 innings, better than 2 an inning. Not so good. When manager Ron Washington brought him in to relieve his starter, Oswalt performed very well for two innings. When Washington sent him out for a third inning, Oswalt refused, saying, "He'd had enough." Oh, that attiude will endear you to managers the world over.

## The all-time DL resident, Nick Johnson, is through for the season. After appearing in 38 games for the Baltimore Orioles this year, he was put on the DL because of a wrist injury. He left rehab this week and returned to his home in California when his wrist did not respond to treatment in a timely manner.  Too bad. He's a good hitter and a decent fielder, but he can't stay on the field. He's played in only 62 games since 2009.

## It's not baseball, but...   Before Lindsay Lohan would perform a nude scene in her latest picture, the whole film crew was forced ro strip down, too. What was the crew worried about? No one was going to be looking at them.

...and as promised -->
Here is the lastest verbal gaffe by Valentine. When asked about Jacoby Ellsworth's recent injury, Bobby replied, "It's a leg issue, but it's not an issue. But it could become an issue."  Thanks for clearing that up, Bobby.

## Word comes from the London Olympics that the Koreans have entered a blind archer into the competition. There is no word on how he did, since no one would attend the event, including the officials.

"‪Canadian Olympic equestrian Hawley Bennett-Awad‬ was thrown from the saddle, but she is reportedly in stable condition. And so is her horse."  -- RJ Currie
"The first gold medal of the 2012 Olympics was won by a South Korean archer who is legally blind. This is inspirational. It used to be that when you saw someone legally blind on an athletic field this time of year, he was umpiring an American League game."  -- Brad Dickson
Headline at "Nittany Lion mascot transfers to Toledo."
"Just wondering. Shouldn't Kansas running back Brandon Bourbon be playing for Kentucky?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Four SMU football players claimed they were ripped off by a prostitue. Yes siree, its's beginning to feel like the  college football season."  -- Brad Dickson
"The U.S. men's basketball team beat Nigeria 156-73: "Somewhere, the Washington Generals are saying, 'We could have beat that spread, why aren't we at the Olympics?'"  -- TC Chong
"Twins outfielder Ben Revere credits a simple adjustment — holding his hands higher — for him going off on a recent hitting tear. Well, that and the fact he heard the Red Sox were coming."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Chicago Cubs, who were swept this weekend by the Los Angeles Dodgers, blew multiple leads in losing today,  giving up runs in four of the last five innings. Are the Cubs trying to be the official baseball team of Olympic badminton?"  -- Janice Hough


Saturday, August 04, 2012


You may not believe this but, according to the most recent data, Picasner has become a lousy wingman. 

Fortyeight yeas ago Picasner was my trusted wingman, or I his. We had reserved bar seats in Bucklands Bar and Grill in Oswego. Road trips anywhere, anytime - in anyone's car, legal or not - he was there.  An original member of The Chad Picasner Trio. The subsequent inheritor of that hallowed name. Not any more.

Our 50th high school reunion begins August 17th with a Friday night happy hour. Always had Picasner on my wing on Friday's. But apparently that won't be the case on the 17th. He still stamping his feet and refuses to go. 

Today, at lunch, he used the feeble excuse that the administrator of the reunion web site hasn't posted an old picture he sent in nor has he received an acknowledging email.  He claims to have sent the picture twice so the neglect is 'seriously' bad. Once again, Chad, 'Waah, waah!' 

Where's you're loyalty? Toughness? You're courage to go where no man has gone before? Chad, where is your heart! 

I am greatly disappointed and saddened to know that if Picasner denies this request to once again assume the mantle of Captain Wingman, we are doomed to irrelevant lives of old age, eternal bitterness for East Siders, and just no fun at all.

Think about that, Chad. Old-cootness may be closer than you think.

Meanwhile, if anyone is really thinking a whole lot about baseball in general, or the Yankees specifically...

Paul O'Neill has learned to talk about more than roast beef sandwiches and pie. He has become an interesting and funny commentator. Way to go Paulie.

LT  sat down to watch an inning or two in the top of the 3rd tonight  and commented that CC looked good in his new pajamas. The Great Laundry Bag is back, baby.

In Boston, they're not so patiently waiting for the NFL season. 

In New York, they're not so patiently waiting for A-rod. 

Girardi flipped Derek Jeter and  Curtis  Granderson in the batting order. Joe apparently wants to get the strike outs over before, rather than after,  Jeter gets on base. Now get Ichiro Suzuki out of the eighth spot. I know. You can switch Ichiro with Granderson and then flip Jeter and Ichiro whenever the two think it's a good move for the team. 

I'm pleased for the fans that the Yankees are doing well, in spite of the Steinbrenners the Younger, the sons-in-law carpet baggers, Cashman, and the rest of the Round (under the)Table wheelers and dealers. It helps the mood in the city and keeps Michael Kay's notorious and dangerously large head off the streets. 

And, to weigh in on the hottest topics of the day:

The Olympics - it's a circus, plus the opportunity for failure. High praise to Bob Costas' make-up artist for creating the new Dick Clark.

Tim Tebow - it's a circus, plus the opportunity for failure - and a possible crucifixion. 

Mitt Romney's taxes - is a man stupid enough to allow his taxes to become an issue in a presidential campaign smart enough to be, well, the President? I'm going to ask George Bush.

Bobby Valentine in Boston -  it's a circus, plus the opportunity for failure. (My, what a popular answer!)  Bobby and the Red Sox are already taking advantage of that opportunity. 

In closing, play golf, ride motorcycles, drive fast, take chances, and never, ever betray Captain Wingman. 


Friday, August 03, 2012


## Now that the July 31 trade deadline is past, you'll start to see a lot of high-priced players on the waiver list. Guys like Alphonso Soriano of the Cubs, who stands to make (I almost said earn) $38 million over the next two years, or Cliff Lee, who could make as much as $107 million over the next 4 years. Placing a player on the waiver list has two advantages for a team. #1, they might get some sucker, er - team, to take over a burdensome contract, or if he clears waivers, they can make a trade with anyone. They also get to see who might be interested in the player. They can still pull a player off the list if he's claimed, but they can only do that once. If they give him up on waivers, they get nothing in return. Don't expect too much to happen, though. The money is just too great in most cases.

## I may have to start a regular feature - BOBBY'S MOUTH.
Valentine is at it again.
"He also made a peculiar allusion during the radio appearance to pitching coach Bob McClure having taken a "two-week vacation"... McClure had left the club because of an emergency medical issue involving one of his very young children;"
Valentine corrected himself, but you have to wonder what's going on under that Red Sox cap.
This came out of Gordon Edes column also.
"Valentine, appearing on WEEI's "The Big Show" on Wednesday, had described a minor tempest caused by a sarcastic remark he'd made to rookie Will Middlebrooks, one the kid later said he didn't remember hearing. Valentine claimed Thursday to be annoyed to have to talk about something no one would have known about if he hadn't brought it up in the first place."

## I'm sure we will hear this on tonight's broadcast over and over again. Derek Jeter (all genuflect) will reach another milestone tonight, playing in his 2529th game for the same team. That places him 10th on the all-time list.Carl Yastrzemski leads the list with 3308. Derek would have to play full time for another 5 years to top that mark.

## Tim Kurkjian wrote a long article about getting hit by a pitch. If you ever played baseball, you know what it's like to get hit by a pitch, but you probably didn't get hit by a major leaguer. That's different. I was hit in the head in a sandlot game once about 50 years ago, but it didn't hurt (Will someone please answer the damn phone?).  I think.
Here's the article:

## Tony Chong has suggestions for some new Olympic events:
"When are we going to see Women’s Beach Baseball, Beach Football, Beach Hockey, Beach Curling, Beach Soccer, Beach Badminton, Beach Basketball, Beach Poker, Beach Horseshoe Pitching, or Beach Frisbee Golf?"
I was going to say that the Beach Hockey and Beach Curling would probably be 'low scoring' events, but I think the uniforms would negate that theory  --which may be what Tony had in mind in the first place.

"New York Jets coach Rex Ryan has lost 106 pounds. The only thing he's been putting in his mouth is his foot."  -- Brad Dickson
"Winnipeg Jet Dustin Byfuglien plead guilty in a Minnesota court last week. He got two days community service for unsafe boating and a $1000 fine for an unpronounceable name."  -- RJ Currie
"Kim Yoo Suk is a Korean pole vaulter competing in London. Hasn’t his surname has been chanted by fans at Maple Leaf games?"  -- Tony Chong
"Eight women badmnton players from China, South Korea and Indonesia were kicked out of the Olympics for alleged match throwing. (Trying to lose early matches, for easier matches later.) And who says women are not as competitive as men?"  -- Janice Hough
"Three SMU football players say a prostitute they solicited exacted revenge for non-payment by stealing $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games from them, Dallas' KTXA-TV reported.
Which certainly gives a whole new meaning to the sports term "taking it to the house."  -- Dwight Perry
"Camps have opened in the NFL. The Pittsburgh Steelers are worried about Ben Roethlisberger’s quickness. At his age, he can no longer outrun a jealous boyfriend."  -- Alan Ray
"Ichiro used a translator for his press conference yesterday. After 11 years here, he still is not functional in English. Well, if this baseball thing doesn’t work out, he’s already qualified to be a New York cabbie."  -- Janice Hough
"Joe Paterno's family is saying it will launch its own investigation into the Jerry Sandusky scandal: "Yeah, and I hear Nixon's kids are going to take another look at Watergate." -- Greg Cote
"Dale Earnhardt Jr. leads the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. The Pittsburgh Pirates sit atop the NL Central. This is all covered, we assume, in the Book of Revelation."  -- Dwight Perry