Sunday, July 28, 2013

...AND NO SURPRISES

Friday, I mentioned some surprising facts, but today, it's business as usual.

The Yanks got shut out 1-0 on two hits yesterday, by a Tampa Bay pitcher who looked like he just left 8th grade recess. He didn't pitch like a 13-year old, though. Nova was almost as good, getting beat on a two-out bloop single. A game like that can be boring and it seemed like the Yankee announcers were bored. The big news of the game was where Jeter was playing his simulated game. If you were that interested in a simulated game, you could have just watched the Yankee batters. That's what you call a simulated game: when the hitters pretend to hit the ball.

Sabathia has been anything but the staff ace this year, giving up 7 runs in one outing 4 times this year. Trying to help him straighten out, the Yanks had him pitch batting practice yesterday and it worked.
He threw a two-hit shutout.

Kuroda and two relievers shut out the Rangers on Thursday and won 2-0. If the Yankee pitchers had shut out Tampa yesterday, they might still be playing. Pressure pitching is when you have to hold the other team to 2 or 3 runs in order to win. Yankee pitcher pressure is when you have to throw a shutout and hope the Yanks can squeeze out one run.

Hafner is now on the DL, just as Jeter comes off. What is this, some kind of round-robin game? One guy on, one guy off. At least it makes roster moves easier.

Cano continues to jog (I'm being kind) to first base. Michael Kay and David Cone at least talked about it this time, but, according to them, Girardi & Cashman, "...have no problem about how Cano plays the game." Well, I do. I understand that you might not want to risk pulling a hamstring needlessly, but Cano looks like he's afraid he'll break into a sweat.

The Phillies and the Rangers are talking about a possible trade for...Michael Young. How does this not look like the Rangers made a big mistake in letting him go? Of course, you could say the same thing about the Yanks and Soriano. 

Bartolo Colon, who is being mentioned prominently in the Biogenesis scandal, is currently 14-3, with a 2.54 ERA, 3 shut-outs and a WHIP of 1.09.  Is it possible that he knows he's going to be suspended and plans on going out in a blaze of glory?

Twins closer Glen Perkins got two batters out before he discovered that his fly was unzipped. I just read my fourth joke on the subject. I guess some straight lines are just irresistible.

***ONE SURPRISE***
David Ortiz backed out of the batter's box yesterday, when the pitcher started to throw. He didn't call time and the umpire called it a strike. Ortiz was insistent that the pitch was high. How can you tell when you're a good 5-6 feet from the plate, looking at the umpire the whole time? Ortiz eventually struck out, yelled at the ump and got thrown out.  He then went on a rampage in the dugout, destroying the bullpen phone with a bat in the process. Which might have been a good thing: the Red Sox bullpen hasn't exactly been lights out this year. They can't blow the game if you're unable to call them in.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Florida linebacker Antonio Morrison was arrested for allegedly barking at a police dog. No truth to the rumor that Morrison then relieved himself on a fire hydrant. Attention all headline writers: Suggestion for the day after Morrison has a bad game: “His bark's worse than his bite.”  -- Brad Dickson
"Give-and-take between ESPN’s Buster Olney and Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia, as tweeted by ex-outfielder Gabe Kapler:
Olney: “(Curt) Schilling wants to know why you’re not hitting more HRs?”
Pedroia: “Because I’m not facing him.”  -- From Dwight Perry's column
"LeBron James won’t be a member of the next U.S. Olympic basketball team: “LeBron said he won’t play for any country that has less money than he does."  -- Conan O'Brien
"Giants receiver Victor Cruz, attempting to clarify his earlier grousing remarks, told reporters “I don’t feel underpaid at all” after signing a six-year, $45.9 million contract. Well, that’s a relief: A guy can still scrimp by on just $147,000 a week!"  -- Dwight Perry
"Ryan Braun becomes the first of what might be many PED suspensions this week, and there are seven shutouts in MLB Saturday, including four 1-0 games. I'm sure it’s only coincidence."  -- Janice Hough
"NASCAR driver Danica Patrick was chosen No. 1 of Sportsnet's most attractive female athletes. I imagine it surprised Danica; she’s not used to finishing first." -- RJ Currie
"A photo emerged of Nate Robinson signing a baby at an NBA Summer League game. If you get a chance to see the photo of Robinson and the baby, Robinson's the one on the left."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-
 

















Saturday, July 27, 2013

HERE'S SOMETHING POSITIVE

Okay, so Sabathia got knocked around and Soriano, the Savior, went 0-5 and left 6 runners stranded in his first two at bats, the Yanks did manage to knock Boston out of first place. The Red Sox lost and when Tampa beat NY, the Rays took over first place.

We take what little victories we can find.

CP-
 

Friday, July 26, 2013

SOME SURPRISES

##  Would you say that Chris Davis of the Orioles has cooled off? Before the All-Star break, he was hitting .315 with 37 homers & 93 RBIs. Since then, he's hitting .214 and has yet to hit a home run. He has also struck out 13 times in 28 at bats, 4 times last night.

##  Can it be? Curt Schilling said before the season started, that he didn't think A-Rod would ever appear in a NY Yankee uniform again. Since A-Rod might be facing a lifetime ban and the Yanks are quietly researching for a way to void his contract, Schilling may be right. I can't believe it. The words 'Schilling' and 'right' in the same sentence and the word 'not' isn't included.

##  We can't talk about Robinson Cano's strolls down to first anymore. Yasiel Puig has outdone him. In a game a couple of days ago, Puig drew a walk and actually walked to first base, all the while staring at the pitcher. Until someone crawls to first base, Puig is the current Champion Loafer.

##  How are they doing it? The Yanks have the weakest lineup in baseball, yet they manage to somehow  stay on the fringes of the pennant race, or at least, the wildcard. in the 7 games since the All-Star break, they have gone 3-4, but lost only 1/2 game in the standings. And without A-Rod, too.

##  George Brett lasted two months as the Royals hitting coach. Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise. The Royals are hitting .256 as a team, 13th in the American League and have scored less runs than the (gasp!) Yankees. I guess that should be a surprise all by itself.

##  It appears that Alphonso Soriano will be a Yankee by the weekend. The money side of the trade should be interesting, since no one is saying who's is going to pay Soriano's salary. As far as the player transactions go, the Yanks are giving up a low-rated prospect, which is no surprise because that's all they have...and most of them are on the major league roster. Annie-O says the Yankee lineup posted at the beginning of the game might as well be for the opposition, since she doesn't recognize most of the names.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Packers QB Aaron Rodgers, who famously tweeted “I’d put my salary next year on it” when asked if he thought Ryan Braun was drug-free, is now demanding a discount double-check."  -- Dwight Perry
"Joe Torre’s daughter caught a falling baby. Major League Baseball will issue a statement congratulating her just as soon as she is tested for PEDs.”  -- Jim Barach
"Many NFL training camps have started. Linemen and bail bondsmen reported Tuesday."  -- Brad Dickson
"Robert Griffin III tweeted that he’d been to practice: “Out of habit, the Yankees’ Brian Cashman told him to shut the bleep up.”  -- Fark.com
"Who's on PEDs? You know we’re clean. We haven’t scored a run in 37 innings."  -- Marlin First baseman Logan Morrison
"Twinkies are back in the US and they are said to be smaller. It’s an optical illusion as the people that eat them are in reality, larger."  -- TC Chong
" The National Association of Bail Bondsmen issued a statement thanking NFL players for the thousands of new jobs it created for members."  -- Brad Dickson
 "Bud Selig says now that he is proud of Major League Baseball’s drug program. It’s amazing the man doesn’t have ruptured discs from all the patting he does of his own back."  -- Janice Hough

CP-
 







Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A-ROD HAS A PARTNER

A-Rod is not the only guy who can't open his mouth without putting his foot in it. Ryan Braun is tasting shoe leather himself. He swears he wasn't using any banned substances when he was caught, appealed based on a technicality (which he won), bad mouthed the tester and then when the Biogenesis deal came to light, he issued an apology which impressed no one.
He "apologized" to any fans he may have offended, and acted like none of it was his fault, that it was just bad luck. It's so bad that even the other players are disgusted with him. This isn't going to go away the way Braun hopes it will.

How upset are players over all this cheating? There is a story going around that a pitcher hit a batter with a pitch and when he came into the dugout, he told teammates that he hit him on purpose because, "...he's one of the cheaters." Maybe A-Rod would be safer if he is suspended.

***SURPRISES***
Toronto is  9 games under .500 and has lost 6 games in a row.
Seattle has won 8 in a row and has a better record than the LA Angels.
Last year's champion, the San Francisco Giants, are in 4th place and 8 games under .500.
The Dodgers, in last place and given up for dead 6 weeks ago, lead the NL West.
The Red Sox gave Dustin Pedroia a 7-year deal. This might work out - Pedroia will be 36 during the last year of the contract.
I'm sure that no one thought that Mariano would be a bust, but did anybody really think he'd be on a pace to have 50 saves this year?

*** NOW WHAT DO WE DO?***
It doesn't look like A-Rod will be playing this year, Jeter is still a mystery, Youkilis and Teixeira are done till next year and Hafner can't hit his way out of a paper bag - a wet paper bag. The Yanks have no offense: The have a bunch of guys who can run but can't hit and one guy - Robinson Cano - who can hit but won't run. This doesn't make for many sustained rallies. Is help on the way?
There is talk that the Yanks may trade for the Cubs Alfonso Soriano, who was originally a Yankee. He is fast and can hit the long ball, but he's not the most graceful outfielder and used to be a head case, but supposedly he's changed. He may not be the best choice, but at this point, he's the only choice.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips, calling his $72.5 million contract a “slap in the face” after teammate Joey Votto got a much bigger one, was last seen crafting his cardboard “Will Bunt For Food” sign."  -- Dwight Perry
"EA Sports erased ex-Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez from its Madden NFL 25 and NCAA Football 14 video games: “But you can catch him on PlayStation 3’s Prison Break.”  -- Bill Littlejohn
"Los Angeles produced one of the lowest crime rates of any major U.S. city: “You know why? We don’t have an NFL team."  -- Jay Leno
"Charl Schwartzel snapped his club after a bad chip out of the rough at Muirfield. Afterwards, I'm not sure if he swore or muttered "fescue."  -- RJ Currie
"Beach volleyball player Kerri Walsh Jennings appears in the ESPN The Magazine's The Body issue nude. Or, as a beach volleyball player calls that: “My work clothes.”  -- Brad Dickson
"Florida Gators LB Antonio Morrison was suspended from the team after his 2nd arrest in five weeks, this time for allegedly barking at a police dog and resisting arrest. But this, from ESPN, is the part you can’t make up “according to a police report Morrison’s defense was the dog barked first.”  -- Janice Hough
"Twins closer Glen Perkins recorded two outs Friday night before realizing his pants were unzipped. Guess he’s not a big fan of the infield-fly rule."  -- Dwight Perry
 "Photos were taken of a woman posing in a short skirt atop an Omaha fire truck inside an Omaha fire station. We have the only Fire Department with a two-drink minimum."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-














 

Friday, July 19, 2013

GOOD THINGS - BAD THINGS

***GOOD THINGS***
This is a pretty short list. Within the next 10 days to two weeks, the Yanks should get A-Rod, Jeter Granderson and Pineda back, all at various times, of course. The four-day All-Star Game break should also help an aging team like the Yankees.  When these guys return, it will take a lot of pressure off the replacement players, who right now feel like they have to perform better than their actual abilities. The only definite upgrade will be getting Cervelli back to replace Romine, who would probably be batting ninth in a ladies league.

***BAD THINGS***
Unfortunately, these things pretty much negate all the positives I've just mentioned. How much are you really going to get out of the returning all-stars? There is a big difference between playing in Double-A and Triple-A and playing in the majors. The adrenalin starts pumping and "easing into" the game goes out the window. That's what happened to Jeter and it's a real possibility with A-Rod. And Granderson? He might hit 15-20 home runs, but he's going to strike out 100 times, too. Pineda is still an unknown and three of the starters, Sabathia, Pettitte and Kuroda have an average age of 37+. Four days probably isn't enough rest. The Yanks still have to rely on Wells, Overbay, Stewart and Suzuki to produce even more than they have.

I don't know if I should list this as a Good thing or a bad thing - you decide. I think the Yanks will trade Chamberlain and Hughes by the end of the month. I think it will be for prospects rather than some fill-in pieces, because that's just trading a young under-achiever for an old one. In 12 days (July 31st), the Yanks will know exactly where they stand - and it won't be pretty.

***OTHER THINGS***
Hooray for Jim Leland. Rather than treat the All-Star game like an exhibition of American League players, he played his best players and matched up his pitchers, rather than just playing everyone and bringing in pitchers indiscriminately. He did make darn sure he got Mariano Rivera into the game which was another smart thing.

Because there is so much inter-league play, there doesn't seem to be any AL - NL loyalty, not among the fans or the players. Consequently, you have fans booing players from other teams in their league, and being more concerned that players from the home team get in the game instead of worrying about winning the game. Back in the 60's you had starters that played the whole game, that actually got four at-bats, and a lot of players that didn't get into the game. Even the threat of home field advantage in the World Series doesn't seem to have affected anyone. Except for Jim Leland this week. Bravo, Leland.

Bunglin' Bud Selig expressed remorse that the Tampa Bay Rays weren't drawing decent crowds, even though they have been so successful on the field for a number of years. This is the same remorse he has offered about the appalling conditions of the stadium in Oakland - a stadium in disrepair, that is not designed for baseball and has a terrible name. Bud, of course, has offered no solution to either problem. At least he knows they exist. That doesn't seem to have been the case for a lot of years.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Over 35 NFL players have run afoul of the law this offseason. Where are they finding these guys? Arrested development camps?"  -- RJ Currie
"So little offense in Tuesday night’s All-Star game you had to wonder if all the batters knew they might be asked to provide a urine sample after the game?"  -- Janice Hough
"This is a tremendous game, and we are going to do our best to win this game,' Leyland said. “I think it's a combination of things. I think you want to see these great players showcase their talent. Yes, you're trying to win the game because of what's at stake now, and I think there's a lot of things involved in this game and I want to try to make it the total package for the American League."  -- Jim Leland
"At the MLB All-Star Game, the AL held the NL to three hits. In the interest of parity and to increase the entertainment for fans, the commissioner almost ruled that Carly Rae Jepsen pitch the ninth inning."  -- Brad Dickson
 "Carly Rae Jepsen’s terrible ceremonial first pitch at a Tampa baseball game has gone viral on the internet. Her agent immediately sent her to Florida’s Biogenesis Clinic to get some help."  -- TC Chong
"Dodger Stadium security has reprimanded Yasiel Puig’s personal interpreter for trying to help the rookie outfielder score dates with female fans in the stands, ESPN reported. Just who does the guy he think he’s working for, A-Rod?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Did you know there's actually a betting line on Finland's Wife Carrying World Championships? You bet your wife."  -- RJ Currrie
"NFL training camps are beginning to open. I think it'll just be nice to see 150 NFL players assembled in one place that's not a holding cell."  -- Brad Dickson
"Charles Foley, the inventor of Twister has passed on. He will be buried with his right foot touching the casket’s top left hand corner and his left hand touching the bottom right."  -- TC Chong
"A whole week has gone by since a cop last hauled in an NFL player. Who says there’s no arrest for the wicked?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Just got home from Safeco Field Seattle where beer is $9.50 pint. I can’t believe they cut off sales after 7 innings. At that price, Seattle should keep it going 24/7/365. In 10 months, you’d have enough profit for a new basketball AND hockey arena."  -- TC Chong

CP-






















Sunday, July 14, 2013

PEOPLE I'M GLAD I'M NOT

Alex Rodriguez - Sure, he has millions of dollars, but he doesn't have any self-respect -- or the respect of anyone else in the game. A-Rod has so much hanging over his head right now, that he hasn't seen the sun in months. A lot of it is coming to a head within the next two weeks. The Biogenesis interview was Friday, and Mike Lupica had this to say:
"Alex Rodriguez met with Major League Baseball’s investigators on Friday in the Biogenesis case. And even if A-Rod took the Fifth, as so many of the other Biogenesis All-Stars have, somebody must have been doing some talking down there in Tampa if the meeting between MLB and A-Rod took as long as the 2008 All-Star Game at the old Stadium." (That one went 15 innings, as you recall)
No one including A-Rod, knows if he can still play. No one, including Cashman, knows if the Yanks still want him.  And it's getting to the point that not many people care.

Bud Selig - If a player happens to be playing at a superlative level, the PED rumors start to fly. Baseball needs star players, but not if the fans think they're cheating. That's the legacy that Selig will take into retirement. The players don't care, because they still get the big contracts. The owners don't care, because outstanding numbers put fannies in the seats. The Players Association is as much to blame as anyone, but they believe they've done their job if the players get big money and they appeal any fine or suspension, all the while espousing a "clean" game.

Roger Godell - Pro football probably has as big a PED problem as baseball, but no one cares because their players are being arrested for crimes as big as murder to spitting on the sidewalk. My Dad used to say that you can't get anywhere in this world without a college education. It seems that football players in college are learning things I don't want my grandchildren to learn.

***QUESTIONS I NEED ANSWERS TO ***
##  If George Steinbrenner were alive and active today, how many trainers would the Yankees have gone through by now? 
##  Why does the media immediately try to find fault with the Yanks because Jeter got hurt again in his first game back after breaking his ankle? He didn't hurt his ankle, he pulled a muscle. He could have pulled that muscle running away from the trainer - which might have been the smart thing to do.
##  If Tim Lincecum can throw 148 pitches in a game, why does Larry Rothschild, Yankee pitching coach, need CPR when a pitcher reached 100 pitches?
##  When will they fix the All-Star game so it will become a summer classic again, instead of some kind of bastardized playoff/showoff game? Is the answer, Never?
##  If, according to the Yankee announcers, every  manager or coach on the opposing teams, is "...one of the most respected figures in the game," why do they keep getting fired?
##  I've just gotten used to listening to "Flash" Flaherty say, "He didn't try to do too much with that pitch," do I now have to deal with David Cone saying, "Without a doubt,.." after everything Michael Kay says? (Five times yesterday, eight times Friday)

***THEY SAID IT***
"Dwight Howard says he’s looking forward to a “fresh start” in Houston. The guy is one more alienated team and fan base away from being the Manny Ramirez of basketball."  -- Janice Hough
"A bystander threw urine on Tour de France rider Mark Cavendish: “I wonder if it tested negative.”  -- Bill Littlejohn
"Days since an NFL player was arrested: 0.”  -- Fark,com
"The minor-league Lehigh Valley (Pa.) IronPigs are giving away a funeral in an upcoming promotion.Or as Bob Uecker might describe the prize, low and in the dirt."  -- Dwight Perry
"Chris Wondolowski scored three first-half goals for the U.S. in a 6-1 soccer win over Belize,: impressing everyone but his seamstress who misspelled his name on the back of his jersey.”  -- Len Berman
"NBA star Kevin Durant is engaged to WNBA star Monica Wright. Kentucky just offered a full ride to their first child.The couple is planning a small, quiet ceremony. They’ll be married at mid-court during the WNBA finals."  -- Brad Dickson
"Star basketball guard, Marshall Henderson, now suspended from Old Miss, was on his , fourth college. And this suspension was the result of “multiple” failed drug tests. It’s all part of the NCAA’s “10 strikes and you’re out program.”  -- Janice Hough
"No truth to persistent rumors of a 5.2 earthquake in Cleveland last Sunday.Alas, it was just Prince Fielder stealing second against the Indians."  -- Dwight Perry
"New York Jets' head coach Rex Ryan was spotted running with the bulls. He could be trampled and gored. In New York City, that's known as "the postgame press conference."  -- Brad Dickson
"I'm not sure why ESPN: The Body Issue is featuring Gary Player, a 77-year-old golfer, but we can pretty much rule out "popular demand."  -- Brad Dickson
 
  CP-

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 







Thursday, July 11, 2013

FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD

Two things, actually. The Yanks hit TWO home runs last night, in a winning cause. I think those're the first extra-base hits in a week.
Derek Jeter returns today. They hadn't decided if he will DH or play in the field, but he'll play. I haven't heard how they made room for him, but I hope it's Ishikawa. He looks like he's never played first base and he'd never seen a curve ball before.

Of course the injuries continue. Gardner got hit in the shin with a pitch and Hafner was hit in the foot by a pitching machine gone haywire. At least, that's the story. It is possible that the machine struck Hafner out and they're too embarrassed to say? Naw!

Another Japanese pitcher has gone on the DL. Yu Darvish has a "shoulder strain" and the Rangers put him on the 15-day DL. I just read an article in ESPN The Magazine, how pitchers in Japan are misused (and abused) by American standards, at pretty much all levels of competition. There is a high school tournament held in August that is a single elimination event. Last year, a 16-year old phenom threw 772 pitches over a 5-day span. He didn't make it through the first inning of the last game, which his team lost 17-1. I haven't been able to find out how many of those 17 runs he was responsible for. Throwing that many pitches isn't uncommon over there, which may be why Japanese pitches don't always fare as well as expected in the US.

The Dodgers have finally reached the .500 level after 90 games. They are now only a game and a half out of first in the NL West. The Giants, however, are now in last place, 10 games under .500. Pittsburgh has cooled off and St. Louis is back in first place in the NL Central.

There may be some kind of announcement in the next few days over the Bio-Genesis flap. There was talk that suspensions would be announced before the All-Star break, but I also heard that there might not be anything for at least a week. Either way, this is going to be a mess, especially since lawyers, unions and arbitrators are involved.


***THEY SAID IT***
"Oakland Raiders’ LB Kaluka Maiava has been charged with assault after a fight earlier this year in a Maui bar. Gosh, and there goes the NFL’s streak of about 72 hours since the last arrest."  -- Janice Hough
"In the NFL, 31 players have been arrested just since the Super Bowl. In fact, a lot of teams are switching to the no-huddle offense because players aren't allowed to associate with known felons."  -- Jay Leno
"The winner of this year’s annual “Nathans hot dog eating contest” Joey Chestnut, wolfed down 69 dogs in 10 minutes setting a new record. Is that Anthony Wiener guy one of the judges?"  -- TC Chong
"According to Merriam-Webster, having one wife is monogamy. According to Tiger Woods, it's monotony."  --RJ Currie
"The six dirtiest jobs, according to U.S. News & World Report: oil-rig worker, slaughterhouse worker, crime-scene cleanup technician, dairy farmer, plumber and gastroenterologist. Early-line favorite to top next year’s list: Aaron Hernandez publicist."  -- Dwight Perry
" 25 NHL coaches getting fired the past two seasons: “The Kardashians don’t go through men that quickly.”  -- Greg Drinnan
"During a match at Wimbledon, Kirsten Flipkens of Belgium turned to a BBC announcer and asked him to be quiet because he was talking too loudly. Is there any way we can arrange for her to sit behind Dick Vitale at basketball games?"  -- Brad Dickson
"Reports are that MLB will suspend as many as 20 active players for PEDs, including Ryan Braun and A-Rod, possibly on the day after the All-Star Game. So much for ESPN trying to fill a slow sports news day."  -- Janice Hough
"Cuban television just aired its first Major League Baseball game since 1961. Now, the Cuban people realize there's one thing worse than totalitarian rule -- major league umpiring. It was a two-month-old major league game, so apparently they're getting the MLB Network."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-














Tuesday, July 09, 2013

SOMETIMES YOU WIN...

...BUT MOSTLY WE LOSE.

When the Yanks were on a 6-game winning streak, starting 9 days ago, they averaged over 6 runs a game. Now it looks like they won't total six runs until the end of the week. Somehow the Yankees managed six hits, but after the 2nd inning, they were able to muster one walk and one hit.

Sabathia pitched well. When you only give up 3 runs, you ought to be able to win the game. Even giving up two runs would have lost this one. So I guess the Yanks need someone who can throw shutouts, every game.

But never fear. Cashman has the answer. He's signed a new pitcher. The name is Sin Soo-Ji. A delivery so freaky, it's bound to screw up AL hitters for a long time. Here's a preview of our new starter.

http://www.rr.com/video/2396103578

***THEY SAID IT***
"An archaeology study in Nature magazine says the ability "to throw objects accurately" is what has made humans successful. Where does that leave Tim Tebow"  -- RJ Currie
" Mariah Carey is reportedly doing fine after being taken to a hospital with a shoulder injury suffered filming a music video. Apparently she pulled three muscles while hitting a high note"  -- Brad Dickson
" When Dwight Howard left for Houston, apparently Kobe Bryant stopped following him on Twitter. Seriously? Hard to imagine Kobe following anyone."  -- Janice Hough
 "Hostess Twinkies — out of production for 1½ years — are slated to return to store shelves this Friday. And Ding-Dongs are making a comeback, too: The Rangers just signed Manny Ramirez."  -- Dwight Perry
"Why is 77-year-old golfer Gary Player is posing nude for ESPN the Magazine’s Body Issue: “He misses the Skins Game."  -- Steve Schrader
"Gun-rights advocates in Utah are planning a 5K run. Finding a starter’s pistol shouldn’t be a problem."  -- Dwight Perry

Hoorah! Dwight Perry's back.

CP-

Sunday, July 07, 2013

NEWS FLASH - HE'S HUMAN AFTER ALL

While I was busy celebrating win #7 in a row, the Orioles went out and won the game in the 9th. Mariano was not hitting his spots and Annie-O kept saying, "I've got a bad feeling about this." I should have sent her to bed. Amazing how you can lose one game and drop from 2nd place to 4th. You aren't going to win many games getting 6 hits and 1 run. A great game by Kuroda wasted.

Now I have to root for the Angels tonight. Lackey, who's hot, goes against Weaver, who's not. Maybe Pujols will act like he remembers how to hit and LA will pull one out.

I'm not the only one who thinks the All-Star game is a joke. Listen to Bob Ryan:
 
Kansas City for four games, then Minnesota for three. The Yanks better make some hay in the last seven games before the All-Star break.
 
***THEY SAID IT***
"Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari had a June wedding in Nashville, then took off for a honeymoon in Italy. Or as it's called in the NFL, the ole hitch and go". -- RJ Currie
"Phil Steele’s College Football Guide is 352 pages. His guide is for you if you’re looking for a 14-page analysis on the Alcorn State punters."  -- Brad Dickson
"So who won at Wimbledon Saturday – the  one woman no one’s heard of, or the other woman no one’s heard of?"  -- Janice Hough
  [It wasn't my girl Lisicki, that much I know. - CP]
"Yankees Pay-Rod has gone 0-4 in his first two rehab outings with the Class A Charleston River Dogs. He is however, 5 for 5 in getting phone numbers from some hotties he spotted in the stands."  -- TC Chong
"What did Charles Barkley call Joey Chestnut’s record of 69 hot dogs eaten in 10 minutes?  A snack."  -- Scott Hanson
"ESPN The Magazine’s “The Body” issue is out. This is our only chance to see athletes nude in the four years between Olympic beach volleyball finals."  -- Brad Dickson
"New England Patriots have offered fans a free trade for Aaron Hernandez jerseys. The kicker is that you get an Ochocinco one in return."  -- TC Chong
 
 
 CP-
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Saturday, July 06, 2013

NOTHING LIKE CONSISTENCY

And the Yankees are nothing like it. First they can't win for losing, now the bloops and the breaks are falling their way.
Andy Pettitte fought his way through 6+ innings, and then the Yank's strong bullpen took over, anchored by the master, Mariano Rivera.

Every time NY brings in a new player, they start off by acting like an all-star. A couple of days ago, it was Luis Cruz, today in was Eduardo Nunez, who didn't look at all rusty.

The umps were as inconsistent as usual. In the fourth, Oriole catcher, Taylor Teagarden stole 2nd base...except the umpire called him out. In the 8th, Chris Davis struck out looking and left the plate shaking his head as though the umpire missed the call. That one the umpire got right. Earlier in the at bat, however, Robertson threw two pitches that were clearly strikes, as shown by replay, but home plate umpire Jerry Meals missed both of them. Davis really had no beef coming. Anytime you can have a five-strike at-bat, you should count your blessings.

On the medical side, another Yankee went down today, this time it was David Phelps following Jayson Nix, who hit the list on Wednesday.

They boys in the booth said that Vernon Wells is learning first base, which is probably a good move since there is no real backup for Overbay. Theoretically, it should be Travis Hafner, but the only thing he could play in the field is one of the bases.

Rivera notched his 76th save against the Orioles. I'm sure when he retires, Oriole manager Buck Showwalter will volunteer to drive him home for good.

The squads for the All-Star game were announced today. The American League looks imposing with the likes of Chris Davis, Robinson Cano, Miguel Cabrera, Adam Jones, etc. Unfortunately, most of the starters will probably only get one at bat. This format is awful. 21 position players, 14 pitchers and the managers try to get them all into the game. First they try to make it relevant, then they set up rules that basically make it an exhibition game again. Silly, silly, silly. My feelings on this are well known, so you'll hear no more from me.

***THEY SAID IT***
" Brad Stevens said he was “absolutely humbled” by the opportunity to coach the Boston Celtics. If he’s humbled now, wait until he spends a season with NBA prima donnas."  -- Janice Hough
"According to an ESPN survey, media polls are wrong seven out of 10 times"  -- RJ Currie
"The Minnesota Twins gave Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera a chair made of broken bats as a preretirement gift on Wednesday.The Miami Marlins, not to be outdone, reportedly presented Rivera with a superchair made out of all the empty seats from their stadium.  -- Joel Petterson
"A Canadian athlete has been suspended for doping in the ever competitive, physically challenging, grueling sport of Curling. Wait... what?”  -- FARK.Com
"Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez exposed his backside in a homemade Internet video: “Remember the good old days when Mark’s biggest embarrassments occurred on a football field?”  -- Greg Cote
"Plans were announced for a "Dumb and Dumber" sequel starring the original cast. In this version, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels play Major League Baseball umpires."  --  Brad Dickson
"Minor-league pitcher Brian Read of the Seacoast (N.H.) Mavericks had to have surgery on Monday after a chunk of hot dog got lodged in his throat during a seventh-inning-stretch eating contest.Read apparently took his batting coach’s advice to choke up waaay too seriously."  -- Joel Petterson
"New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton caddied for PGA Tour player Ryan Palmer last weekend at the Greenbrier Classic. It worked out fine until Payton kept suggesting trap plays."  -- Scott Hanson
"Nebraska football landed two top players from Missouri, which is now known as The Show Me Where All Our Recruits Went State."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-



Tuesday, July 02, 2013

THINGS I LIKE...AND DON'T LIKE

LIKE --
     Robinson Cano hitting home runs. And he can hit them to all fields. It never even looks like he's swinging hard, but the ball just jumps off his bat.

DON'T LIKE --
     Robinson Cano when he doesn't hit home runs. Ground balls to the infield are easy outs since Robbie seldom puts any effort to beat anything out. If an outfielder should bobble a Cano single, no problem - Cano won't be in a position to try for an extra base.

LIKE -- 
     The Pittsburgh Pirates. They haven't had a winning season in years - 20 years, in fact - but that's about to end. They have the best record in baseball and are on a pace for 100+ wins. I like their stadium too. Go Bucs!

DON'T LIKE --
     The Pirate team is fueled by ex-Yankees. Mark Melancon, Russell Martin, AJ Burnettt, Jose Tabata and Jeff Karstens, all played for the Yanks or came up through the NY farm system. If they'd only played that well for the Yankees.

LIKE --
     Sabine Lisicki. She won another match and is in the semi-finals of Wimbledon. She played Serena Williams tough and got into her head. It didn't matter is she won a point or blew a shot, Lisicki ALWAYS had a smile on her face.

DON'T LIKE --
     Silly, silly, SILLY useless stats. "Stewart is in a bit of a slump. He's 2 for his last 12." That's not a trend; it's a bump in the road. If he goes 5 for his next 12, he's hitting .290. Does that mean he's on a tear? How do you like this gem: "The Yanks are last in the league in hitting with runners in scoring position with two out in the 7th inning or later in day games." By the time I figure out what that means, it's the next inning.

LIKE --
     The Syracuse Orange are in the ACC. I will certainly miss the old Big East rivalries, I look forward to some new ones. Duke? North Carolina? Maryland?
DON'T LIKE --
     Meaningless catch phrases. "Free baseball"  At $1500 a seat, there's nothing free about it. If I leave in the 7th inning, do I get a discount?
LIKE --
     Did I mention I like Sabine Lisicki?
DON'T LIKE --
     "Dynamic Pricing "  This is what teams call it when they artificially raise prices for games they consider "special." Almost every team raises prices when the Yankees are in town. The Yanks are a little kinder: they don't raise prices for seats that are already in 4-digit range. Colleges are doing it, too. Michigan charges $65 a ticket for games against teams like Akron or Central Mich. If you want to see them play Ohio State, however, it will cost you $175. Notre Dame? That seat at the stadium will run you $195. They should change their mascot from a wolverine to a raccoon. At least they wear masks.

***THEY SAID IT***
"This whole Dwight Howard circus is a lot of ado about a guy with the free throw skills of Shaquille O’Neal and the decision-making ability of Brett Favre."  -- Janice Hough
 "The minor-league Brooklyn Cyclones invited 18 rabbis for a ceremonial pitch, and word is one of them was called for a balk. Silly rabbi, tricks are for kids."  -- RJ Currie
   [I don't write 'em, I just report 'em. - CP]
"What's the difference between Nik Wallenda and SI Swimsuit model Kate Upton? One risked dropping to his death in a gorge; the other is drop-dead gorgeous."  -- RJ Currie
"According to a J.D. Power survey, the lowest quality vehicle is a Ford C-Max crossover hybrid. During tests, the crash test dummies had to get out and push"  -- Brad Dickson
"It was supposed to get up to 128 degrees in Death Valley but only got up to 124. Do you suppose people sit around Death Valley complaining about the missed forecast? “If I’d known it was only going to be 124, I would’ve brought a sweater.”  -- Brad Dickson
" 29 NFL players have been arrested since the Super Bowl: “We’re getting pretty close to the NFL’s ‘good guy’ award going to whoever only had a misdemeanor in the last year.”  -- Brandon McCarthy
"Two defensive starters on Texas A&M’s football team were charged with misdemeanor assault over the weekend. And Roger Goodell is thinking “Thank God they weren’t already drafted."  -- Janice Hough
"Pittsburgh Pirates catcher Tony Sanchez' first major league hit got stuck in the outfield wall. The 2013 crack MLB umpires immediately called it, “A ground rule something-or-other.”  -- Brad Dickson
"YES telecasts should include this message from the Surgeon General once the Yankees reach the second half of their batting order: “WARNING: We have now temporarily left the competitive portion of our program.”  -- Mike Vaccaro
"Canadian Anthony Bennett was the surprise 1st pick of the NBA draft by the Cleveland Cavaliers. Somehow Tony Bennett and Cleveland just doesn’t sound right."  -- TC Chong

 CP-