Saturday, August 30, 2014


If it is possible to either overstate or understate the condition of “doing nothing” came up in conversation tonight. LT coined the phrase “Maximum Nothing”.

I like it for its range of application.

The Yankee Offense (1 hit today)

The Current Congress (albeit they have recently started their most useful project, a six week recess, aka vacation)

The Academic Activity of Many (cough, cough) Student Athletes

A Long, Long List of Fox "Contributors" (convicted or otherwise)

This Post (While throwing us a bone today, Picasner is doling a daily Facebook status update under an alias while traveling in the west)  

Add your favorites.


Chad and his better half are resting in lovely Ventura, California. We just watched the Yankee/Toronto game. Since it's 12:30 p.m. here and the game is on at 1:00 p.m. back east, I won't ruin it for you people by telling you the result.
(I know, I know, I just said that to mess with Annie-O)

** So the big gamble with Tanaka looks like a bad decision right now. If he really has a problem, we won't be seeing him pitch until 2016. Money well spent, eh Cashman?

** The Dodgers lost last night in spite of a 5-man infield shift employed by LA. Vin Scully said he'd never seen that before, but Yankee and Red Sox fans will remember a Yankee classic game where Sox manager Terry Francona employed this defense in the 12th inning. It didn't work for Terry either.

**Interestingly in that game, the Dodgers used 20 players and the Padres used 19.  That's National League baseball for you. Between pinch-hitters and double-switches, this kind of thing happens often. Maybe it wouldn't if the managers had to play two in a row instead of sitting in the dugout.

**I see that Jacob Ellsbury hurt his ankle trying to tag home plate. The "blocking the plate" rule hasn't stopped this and it's actually created another argument: is the catcher blocking the plate or not?  Why don't they just insist that players MUST slide into home plate. You'll still get some injuries, but those violent collisions will stop.

**We saw a game in Colorado's Coors Field and noticed how quiet the crowd was. We don't know if they are just reserved or mellow from some of that "special" herb that is available there. We didn't see any at the concession stands. though.

**Tomorrow, we're attending a game at Angels' Stadium. I've already been warned not to wear green. Red is preferable. I'm going to wear my Yankee visor, so if you see someone being thrown out of the upper deck down the left field line, I wouldn't expect anymore blog out of Chad Picasner.

**Because he's retiring, we are now hearing what a GREAT commissioner Bunglin' Bud Selig is. If that's true, explain this: On Thursday, MLB announced Sept. 14’s Yankees-Orioles Sunday 1:35 p.m. start has been switched to an 8:05 p.m. start for ESPN. Think what that does to the plans of both O’s and Yanks fans who bought tickets to that game.  So instead of getting your child home by five or six o'clock, they'll get there by 1:00 a.m. Thank you, Bud,

"Reader Tom Neuberger would like to see college and pro football ban the “freeze the field goal kicker timeout because it reeks of bad sportsmanship.” Agreed, Tom, but that ship sailed then sank with home-plate posing."  -- Phil Mushnick
"ESPN apologized for a report on Michael Sam's showering habits. This is even too stupid for the Fox NFL pregame show."  --  Brad Dickson
"The only way marijuana is a performance-enhancing drug is if somebody puts a Hershey bar on the goal line."  -- Argus Hamilton
"Suspended Jets cornerback Dimitri Patterson denied he was AWOL during the team’s exhibition game last Friday, but refused to reveal what he was actually doing.
Though we can safely rule out diving off a balcony to save his drowning nephew."  -- Dwight Perry
"Dodgers LF Scott Van Slyke sprained his ankle yesterday night while playing in Arizona, and claimed it was because “They’ve got bad grass here.” Dude!   You want good grass, sign with the Colorado Rockies."  -- Janice Hough
"The NFL has fined Broncos QB Peyton Manning $8,268 for taunting during a game last week vs Houston. After some quick calculating, Manning sent Commissioner Roger Goodell’s office 636 and a 1/2 large Papa Johns pizzas in payment."  -- Tony Chong
"Yankees catcher Francisco Cervelli took a nasty foul ball on his family jewels that took him a while to recover from. His agent immediately signed him up as an understudy for the lead role of Frankie Valli of the Four Seasons in the Broadway show Jersey Boys."  -- Tony Chong


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Positive thoughts for the day…

Wouldn’t it be nice if –

…you know who will send his dad a check for he knows what;

…the Yankees win their final 31 games to finish 100 – 62;

…given that outdoor shooting ranges are an increasingly popular destination for families who lust after firing military grade weapons, including automatic AK-47s, and given that a nine year old girl lost control of an Uzi on an Arizona shooting range and shot and killed her instructor, ranges will increase the minimum age required to fire grenade launchers to ten.

(Note: the events are ranked in their order of likelihood.)

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Monsters Under the Bed


... as a ninth inning batting order. Who had that lineup in their preseason report?


Congratulations for  running a totally bogus Ferguson, MO story about officer Darren Wilson's nonexistent fractured eye socket, fictitious x-rays offering "solid proof",  of mythical bodily  harm, all manufactured and embellished by Jim Hoft (aka "The Dumbest Man on the Internet"), The Queen of Crap  - Ann Coulter and her very own 3-Stooges (with up front apologies to Curly, Larry and Moe) Drudge, Carlson and Hannity.  

There are many avenues for collecting "information. While FoxNews is not one of them, it does have millions of bitter, fearful, exploited users and needs to be regularly exposed. Sometimes, some will listen and minds changed. 

Phil Sims and the Washington Post editorial board finally figured out the answer to the questions posed by the Washington NFL football team name. Sadly, the Post's sport writers have not yet seen the light. (They are sports writers so it's no surprise it takes them a little longer.)


One ukulele short of a duet. Pietrowski, Caswell, report!

Positive thought for the day... Bring him home safely, Annie.

 - G. Vod Kanockers

Thursday, August 21, 2014

They Aren't the "Brownskins", are they Mike?

Professional blowhard Mike Ditka has set everyone straight on the controversy surrounding the Washington Redskins name. 

According to Ditka the Omniscient, the debate over whether the name of Washington's NFL team is an insult is "stupid" and the people who oppose it are “asinine”.

Of the name, Ditka added, "It was said out of reverence,  out of pride to the American Indian. Even though it was called a Redskin, what are you going to call them, a Brownskin?''

Well, thanks Mike for clarifying two facts: 1) Native Americans, I mean "Redskins", are “its”, and 2) "Redskins" is the only appropriate name to use when referring to “them” (unless, like Ditka, you prefer to use "it" as the singular pronoun and "them" as the plural).

Thanks, Mike. This settles any question remaining. No need to refer specifically to the Sioux, the Cree, the Oneidas, the Onondagas or any other Native American peoples. They are, after all, simply Redskins.

Mike will probably set Florida State straight regarding their wholly unnecessary and inaccurate use of the name Seminoles.  They are, according to Mike, always have been and always will be “redskins”. What else are you going to call them? Isn’t that right, Mike?

Now that Ditka has settled this issue for native peoples everywhere perhaps we can direct his brain toward other compelling problems. Think of the strides that could be made if Ditka's brain were studied for the impact that decades of blows to the head have on football players.

Mike’s contributions have just begun.


Sunday, August 17, 2014


We're going on vacation soon, but a couple of things need to be said first.

Some baseball strategies really bother me:
** Why do teams bring the infield in with a man on third and less than two outs -- and as early as the 2nd inning? They're trying to prevent ONE run from scoring. By bringing the infield in, they increase the odds of that happening tremendously. Now, in the eighth or ninth of a tie game, I can see that, but earlier than that, it just shows a complete lack of confidence in your offense.

** A tie game, top of the ninth, man on second with no outs and Derek Jeter at the plate. The idea is to at least get the runner over to third with less than two outs. Why did Girardi have Jeter try to bunt until he had two strikes? A ground ball to the right side would accomplish exactly what you want and Jeter, a player who made a career out of hitting to right field, at the plate. If he doesn't get a hit, you know he'll at least hit it that way. Ultimately, the bunt didn't happen and Jeter singled to right to score the winning run. Jeter gets praise (deservedly), but Girardi is not criticized.

** A headline on ESPN - "11 ballplayers who are overpaid"    Just 11? I think you'd be hard pressed to find 11 that weren't overpaid.
** Mike Lupica talked about the election of the new baseball commissioner on The Sports Reporters. "A room full of multi-millionaires, some of whom were clueless about how to run the game." I hate to tell you, Mr. Lupica, but there were more than a few.
** Again on Sports reporters, baseball must find a way to speed up the game. There is already a way in place. All the umpires have to do is follow the rules.When the pitcher is ready to pitch, the batter must be ready to hit. If the batter thinks he can do that by standing 5 feet away from the batter's box and re-tightening his gloves, then let him try.

There are two sides to every story. This is an excerpt from an article written by Chicago White Sox star, Jose Abreu.
"When I played with Cienfuegos or with the Cuban national team, I worked non-stop. Did it every day, even when I had a long trip ahead, traveling by guagua (bus), to every city in our schedule." 
 This is an excerpt from his interview with USA Today.  
"We play so many games, you get to a point you want (the season) to end. It's too much, but that's what you have to deal with and you've got to be strong. I've been counting down since the 58th game and we still have (41) left. Wow."

This horrific story in the NASCAR dirt track race, where driver Kevin Ward, Jr. was killed, is very sad. We will never know what went on with Tony Stewart, whether it was an accident or something intentional. This question gets raised because of Stewart's history of incidents in his career, but it doesn't excuse Ward from running into traffic. Regardless of who was to blame, it's a shame that someone had to die in a sport where great care is always taken to keep the participants safe. There were mistakes made and Mr. Ward paid the price. Very sad.

Now what?
We're scheduled to see a few ballgames on our trip and I have been telling Annie-O that my concern about a rainout was in Chicago. Not in Denver, not in L.A. and certainly not in San Diego. So what did this morning's scoreboard show? The game in Denver was postponed. Not rain, however, but a broken water main flooded the area in front of the stadium forcing them to shut off the water to the stadium. No rest rooms, no games. I guess you can't plan for everything. I decided that if this happened when we were there, I would have insisted they let me in so I could just sit in the stands for three hours. I'm not traveling 2000 miles for nothing.  

Some people never learn.
Jimmy Graham of the New Orleans Saints was fined twice in one game for dunking over the crossbar after scoring a touchdown. Twice! Each time, his ream was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct and Graham was fined $11,025. His teammates weren't thrilled and his coach was furious. One other point:
Eleven thousand and twenty-five dollars? What's the extra $25 for? Overuse of the penalty flag? If the $11,000 didn't bother him, I doubt the extra $25 is going to put Graham over the edge.

"Knicks star Carmelo Anthony says he wants to be a facilitator. Imagine Nero saying he wanted to be a firefighter."  -- RJ Currie
"Shouldn’t the Mariners have scheduled their August Fireworks Night the night they honored Lou Piniella?"  -- Dwight Perry
"As for the new college football playoff format, I’m going to miss the Bowl Championship Series — much the same way I’d miss second-hand smoke, cellphones at dinner and people who examine their own earwax."  -- Gene Wojciechowski
"According to a new book, Texas was prepared to give Nick Saban $100 million to coach the Longhorns. The governor of Texas has a salary of about $133,000. Yeah, that sounds about right."  -- Brad Dickson
"Caroline Wozniacki will run the New York Marathon in place of her wedding to Rory McIlroy. It’s a gruelling, sweat-filled ordeal requiring guts and determination. The other event is a footrace."  -- RJ Currie
"The NY Yankees have lost 5 games in a row. Stand by for the ESPN special on how Derek Jeter is coping through this difficult time."  -- Janice Hough
"Side boob has been added to the Oxford dictionary. Note to Lakers fans: it does not refer to a guy on court with Kobe Bryant."  -- RJ Currie



Saturday, August 16, 2014


So here it is in a nutshell. The Tampa Bay Rays managed to score 5 runs while amassing just 8 hits and one walk. The Yanks had 7 hits and one walk but scored zippo. The money NY spent on three sluggers that were supposed to solve their scoring drought of last year, have failed completely. Thru 120 games, the Yanks have scored exactly THREE more runs than last year at the same juncture.
Last year was easier to take when you saw that the lineup was populated by past-their-prime retreads. Ellsbury in not a #3 hitter, but Girardi bats him there out of desperation. Beltran can't play in the field because of physical issues and gets hurt often enough that he can't put a decent season together. And I told Annie-O last night, at least we have out first-string catcher in there. I've been saying that Cervelli is a prime trade bait because he continues to hit and has improved greatly behind the plate. But, as is the rule in baseball, the money player always plays.
They keep talking about the return of Tanaka as though he was going to save the season all by himself. He is not Joe Hardy from "Damn Yankees."

If you read Vod's posting from earlier today, you know that Annie-O and I are going on vacation soon where we will travel thru (I hope) Colorado on our way to California. A couple of months ago, we purchased tickets to an Angels game, because I like baseball in general and I wanted to see their stadium in person. Little did we know at the time what an important game it would be. On August 30th, the Angels will host the Oakland A's and we'll be there. There is currently only one game separating the two teams.  Should be fun.

Buck Showalter pulled an interesting little subterfuge on the umpires yesterday. While a play was under review, because of a Showalter challenge, Buck stayed on the field during and after and continued to "discuss" the play in question - somewhat heatedly. What did the umpires do? Nothing. There is a strict rule against this and Buck should have been ejected, but no, the umps ignored the rule. Why are they so sensitive about being criticized by managers and players when they choose to ignore rules all the time? Why do the allow batters to call time and step out of the box when the pitcher is ready to throw? Why do they let pitchers and batters wander all over instead of enforcing the 12-second pitch rule? Since baseball chose to ignore my application for Commissioner, these questions will remain rhetorical.

"Rookie QB Johnny Manziel was late for a team meeting on Monday. Yes, he’s now Johnny-come-lately."  -- TC Chong
"Hal Steinbrenner says he is “confident” his team will make the playoffs, but that NY has “got to step it up.” But looking like the only “stepping up” the Yankees will be doing this October will be on the Stairmaster at resorts in Hawaii."  -- Janice Hough
"The NFL announced they are placing tracking chips in players’ shoulder pads to measure how far and fast they run in a game. This from the league that still measures first downs with three guys, two sticks and a chain.”  -- Alex Caseberg
"According to TMZ, someone resembling the NFL VP of officiating was seen on a Jerry Jones party bus. OK, I think I know why the Cowboys were confident enough to send out playoff tickets."  -- Brad Dickson
"I'm no fan of ESPN televising Little League baseball: “Can tee-ball be next? ‘Billy, leading off for the Unicorns, is potty-trained, which gives him extra speed on the basepaths."  -- Scott Ostler
"Pro-rasslin’ icon Hulk Hogan turned 61 on Monday.  Unless, of course, he’s faking that, too."  -- Dwight Perry
" A BYU football player was suspended for wearing earrings. Guess they didn’t match his lipstick."  -- TC Chong
" College GameDay” is hiring a live DJ. Some say this means “GameDay” will no longer be taken seriously. I think after the key prognosticator dons an 8-foot buffalo head, it’s a little late to worry about that."  -- Brad Dickson
"Browns’ management says they will handle Johnny Manziel’s tardiness internally ‘In other words, next time he’ll have to produce a note from his bartender."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"So now apparently MLB owners have elected Rob Manfred as their new commissioner. Which means Selig only has one more major task on his to-do list – how to expand the playoffs enough in 2014 to get Jeter in."  -- Janice Hough


Stretch Run Quiz

3. Will the Red Sox and Yankees finish 1 - 2 when looking up from the bottom of the AL East standings?

1. Yes
2. No doubt about it
3. Definitely
4. Absolutely
5. All of the above

How many other teams have two consistent starters (Drew and Prado) in their lineup hitting on the Interstate?

1. 0
2. None
3. Nada
4. Squadoosh
5. All of the above

What are the chance the Yankees will be a playoff team in 2014?

1. A snowball's chance in hell
2. One in a million
3. It can't happen here
4. You're kidding, right?
5. All of the above

Friday, August 15, 2014


The Picasners will soon be off on another whirlwind trip across America.

I assure you that there is little truth that this year's itinerary includes extended stays in Colorado (wink, wink) and Washington state (nudge, nudge) with only the quickest possible drive-throughs for all intervening locales.

We wish our favorites safe passage from coast to coast (and from any alternate realities encountered along the way).


Thursday, August 14, 2014

A Prayer

We offer our condolences to the Ward family.

Kevin Jr.
Rest in Peace

Yankee's Offense Explodes

... for 3 runs!

The good news is that the Little League Softball World Series is televised this week.


Tuesday, August 12, 2014


...the more they stay the same.  So a brief flurry of runs in one game was merely a nasty trick perpetrated on us by the Yankee "offense."  If you just looked at the box score from last night's game against the Orioles, you would be fooled into thinking that the Yanks scored three runs. They didn't. The Orioles simply played around with them, throwing the ball around the way we used to do when we played ball against our 7 and 8 year-old kids. After the score read 3-0, you could almost see Baltimore pat the Yanks on the head and say, "Wow. you did good!"  Then they proceeded to beat the hell out of us.

Pineda comes back on Wednesday, Tanaka in about three weeks, but it's not pitching the bombers (notice: small b) need, it's offense. Pitchers go out there with the idea that giving up three or more runs means a loss. They are pitching under pressure all the time. Nobody can do that. The Yanks needs hitters - a few of them.

A couple of weeks ago, the Detroit Tigers pulled off a major trade and got David Price from Tampa. Add him to a rotation that contained two recent Cy Young Award winners and a pitcher with a 12-3 record and the whole American League was trembling in fear - except, of course, the Oakland A's. Since then, two members of  the rotation have gone on the DL, Porcello looks like the league has caught up to him, and neither Scherzer or Price have been all that dominant. Yesterday, they dropped into 2nd place behind the Kansas City Royals. 10 days ago, they had a 5 game lead over these same Royals and sportswriters were already comparing pitching match-ups with Oakland. Not any more. Baseball is a funny game, but no one's laughing in Detroit.

A few days ago, the Phillies traded Roberto Hernandez to the Dodgers. Hernandez once went by the name of Fausto Carmona, which brings new meaning to the phrase, "...a player to be named later."

"The Detroit Tigers brought in a “Duck Dynasty” cast member to pitch the bottom of the — no, wait, that was Joba Chamberlain. The beard fooled me again."  -- Brad Dickson
"A New York strip club has offered Derek Jeter a retirement gift of free lap dances on his last day. Which beats the stupid cake I got."  -- RJ Currie
"Washington, D.C., emerged No. 1 when Forbes came out with its rankings of “the coolest cities in America. That’s like Good Housekeeping naming the snowboarder of the year.”  -- Jimmy Kimmel
"Golfer Chris Wood completely split the seat of his pants en route to his first-round 66 at Valhalla on Thursday. In other words, they tried to hold a PGA Championship — and a skins game broke out."  -- Dwight Perry
" Rory McIlroy said this weekend that breaking up with Caroline Wozniacki “has been for the better in terms of my golf.” So maybe before he was nervous about being with an athletic woman who might have much better aim with a golf club than Elin Nordegren?"  -- Janice Hough
"The NBA may raise its minimum age. The commissioner got the idea after two 2014 draftees took the stage in their Cub Scout uniforms."  -- Brad Dickson
"According to a University of California study, 65 per cent of NBA players pass gas on court. Except Kobe Bryant, who never passes anything."  -- RJ Currie


Friday, August 08, 2014


Baseball is searching for a new commissioner now that Bud Selig is retiring. MLB - Chad Picasner is available. I have a platform, but be warned - I'm old school and younger players may not like my changes.

Since there is really too much for one man to handle, I will appoint a second-in-command - my cohort in crime - Vod Kanockers. He will be VP of Baseball Operations. So we would go from Joe Torre, who mainly attends celebrations and special event (between naps) to someone who actually cares about the game and will fight injustice on all fronts - players, managers, front office personnel and umpires.

My 10 commandments would read as follows:
1) Fans like runs, therefore the DH will be in effect in both leagues.
2) Speed up the game. Batters will not be allowed to step out of the batter's box without permission. Pitchers must remain on the dirt portion of the mound.
3) Umpires who prolong arguments or instigate them, will be suspended. Evictions by umpires will be investigated in great detail.
4) ALL postseason games will start (first pitch) by 7:10 PM EST. All special games (i.e. Sunday night baseball or Fox Saturday games) will start by 7:10 PM local time.
5) Every team must schedule at least 3 true doubleheaders during the season, not twi-night or split games but true 2-for-the-price-of-one doubleheaders.
6) All umpires will be evaluated, game by game. Evaluations will be published at the end of the year, the highest scoring umpires will work the post season. Lower-scoring umps may be subject to dismissals.
7) Post season games will have NO off days between games in the same city.
8) Those failing drug tests will be severely punished: 100 games, then one year, then permanent ban.
9) Umpiring crews will consist of 5 umpires, with one umpire assigned as official scorer on a rotating basis.
10) Protests or complaints will be decided by Vod Kanockers. His word is final.

Not as good as the original 10 Commandments, but helpful to the game, nonetheless.

** Just when you think they're out of it, they pull themselves back in.
The Yankees continue to surprise me and the rest of baseball. They took three out of four from arguably the best starting rotation in the game. losing one because of a phenomenal catch by the Tigers centerfielder. Acquiring Chase Headley was a definite step up, but who would have thought the other additions would prove so successful. Kenny Singleton was right - the addition of Stephen Drew and Martin Prado seemed to change the whole attitude of the team. Let's hope it lasts.

** What did he do?
 Dan LeBatard, who writes for the Miami Herald and appears on ESPN, put up a billboard in Akron, Ohio, mocking LeBron James. The offending billboard read, "Your welcome, LeBron, Love Miami." with two championship rings pictured. He did this because Lebron failed to thank the fans of the Heat for their support in his years there. Nothing outrageous, kinda cute, in fact. For this, ESPN suspended him for two days. His stunt was "...all in fun." but apparently ESPN had no sense of humor. Steven A. Smith got 7 days for inappropriate remarks about abuse to women. So one suspension was too long (LeBetard), one was too short (Smith). Maybe ESPN should take on the baseball commissioner's job. They seem to have no sports sense anymore and the transition from Selig would be seamless.

** Uh, excuse me?
As part of a game day promotion, the NY Mets gave away toy trucks. Unfortunately, some of them had a Philadelphia Phillies logo. It appears the publicity department is no better than the team. 

** Tony LaRussa - not what I do but what I say.
LaRussa was upset because one of the Diamondback pitchers hit Pirate star Andrew McCutcheon in the back and has put him out of commission for a while. This created a big uproar because the game was out of hand and it appeared deliberate. LaRussa was upset because nobody complained when one of his players was hit in the hand the day before and broke it. He actually blames the Pirates for McCutcheon getting hit. "The Pirates have a policy of pitching up and in. That increases the chances of a Pittsburgh pitcher hitting a batter accidentally.And if you hit someone, well by golly, you have to live with the consequences when the other team hits your guy." Not that Tony says that's what actually happened.
"Who's got a mind reader? I'm very careful when I say I know. If I don't know, I don't know." LaRussa, when he was managing, was famous for his 2-for-1 policy: 'You hit one of my guys, I hit two of yours.' Of course, after these incidents, Tony never had to step up to the plate.

"Pretenders lead singer Chrissie Hynde claims she smoked marijuana with John McEnroe when he played at Wimbledon. Here’s a scary thought: The Brat was throwing those tantrums when he was mellow?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Here's the first injury scare at the Ravens’ camp: “Ray Rice suffered a slap on the wrist.”  -- Alan Ray
"The latest from Browns training camp. Yesterday afternoon, Johnny Manziel got blitzed, but then he got up, left the strip club and came straight to practice."  -- Argus Hamilton
"The NFL announced they will put tracking chips on players so that fans can record their speed and track their movements. “What an awesome idea!” said Lindsey Vonn"  -- TC Chong 
"A jogger in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park discovered a skeleton wearing a Nets cap. It was reportedly still waiting for a pass from Deron Williams."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"LeBron James made a surprise appearance at Cleveland Browns training camp. LeBron was only there for 30 minutes, and he's already ahead of Johnny Manziel on the depth chart."  -- Brad Dickson
"Pittsburgh Steelers legend Hines Ward is getting married at Heinz Field. The highlight should come when he clotheslines the best man."  -- Brad Dickson
"The NCAA Division I board of directors today voted to allow the 65 schools in the top five conferences to write many of their own rules. Uh,haven’t those schools been doing that for decades?"  -- Janice Hough
" According to a Harvard study, excessive sleep can lead to forgetfulness. Which, in the case of Toronto Maple Leafs fans, is probably just as well."  -- RJ Curry


Sunday, August 03, 2014


** Phil Mushnick, NY Post, listed a number of college and professional football players who have been arrested for various crimes involving the abuse of women. What is it with football players that feel they have to exhibit their physical dominance by these physical attacks on women? If they happen to be very talented athletes, they end up being "punished" with the proverbial slap on the wrist. If the punishment doesn't fit the crime, the crimes will continue. In fact, maybe the punishment should be so severe that athletes would not dare commit the crimes.

** On today's Sports Reporters, Bob Ryan commented that when the Miami Marlins twice broke up a World Series champion, people were aghast, but when Boston did the same thing, people called it "visionary." The difference is that Miami sold off their players over the winter after their championship season, while Boston broke up their team in the middle of a season when the team wasn't going anywhere.

** So the Yanks won a game yesterday when their offense exploded for 6 runs. Immediately, all the columnists said that the team was finally coming together. Cashman added two stop-gap infielders that will finally make Girardi and the players 'comfortable' with the roster - finally. Let's not get crazy. If the Big Four run-producers (Ellsbury, Beltran, Teixeira and McCann) don't start performing, the Yanks won't make the playoffs for the second straight year.

** The Detroit Tigers traded for David Price, which gives them a starting rotation of Price, Verlander, Scherzer and Rick Porcello. This staff is reminiscent of the '96 Braves with Maddox, Glavine and Smoltz, or the 1971 Baltimore Orioles, when all four starters Mike Cuellar, Jim Palmer, Steve McNally and Pat Dobson ALL won 20 games. However, please note that both the Braves and the Orioles lost in the World Series in those years.

** MLB's replay system is supposed to 1) get calls right and 2) eliminate arguments and ejections. There are some managers who feel it is doing neither. Add Mike Matheny of the Cardinals to that list. Probably the most frustrating part is the fact that the call that is challenged is reviewed in New York, and they make the final decision. It's not longer up to the umpires at the game, so there's no one to argue with and the umps don't want to discuss it. This isn't fun for the manager or the umps.

** CC Sabathia is 34 years old, has appeared in 8 games this year and will be paid $23 million and an additional $48 million for the next two years with a $25 million player option for 2017. Cliff Lee is 35 and will be paid $25 million next year with a player option of $27.5 million for 2016. They're getting paid millions for doing almost nothing and  I  didn't buy one green pepper today because it cost a buck and a half. When will teams learn that long term contracts for pitchers just don't work?

** Vin Scully has announced that he will return for another year broadcasting for the Dodgers. I wonder if he will get a Rivera-Jeter style retirement tour with the same kind of honors when he decides to call it a career. I can't think of any broadcaster - or even a player - who deserves it more.

** ESPN will have Dan Schulman and John Kruk, broadcast tonight's Yankee-Red Sox game  from atop the green monster. A long way from the pitcher and the catcher. This should fit right in with ESPN's marketing strategies, since their knowledge of  baseball is also far removed from the game.

"Turkey's deputy prime minister says women should not laugh out loud in public.  Which pretty much rules out the Milwaukee Bucks moving their training camp to Istanbul."  -- Dwight Perry
"The CFL East division has currently three teams tied for 1st place with identical 1-3 records. Look for The Chicago Cubs to apply for an expansion franchise in the CFL."  -- TC Chong
" LeBron James will return to wearing his old No. 23 when he returns to Cleveland Of course, it was awkward when he discovered that even HE burned his old Cavaliers jersey."  -- Jimmy Fallon
" Omaha’s new FXFL team has a nickname: Mammoths. When you look at the history of pro football in Omaha, what better than a creature that went extinct?"  -- Brad Dickson
"Queen Elizabeth's horse tested positive for a banned substance. It wasn't her feedbag. She was just holding it for a friend."  -- Steve Schrader
"Browns receiver Josh Gordon claimed he'd passed at least 70 drug tests. Problem is, he's taken over 1,000."  -- Bill Littlejohn
" I assume Fenway Park  just got a shipment of “Hi, My Name Is…” stickers for the Red Sox clubhouse."  -- Janice Hough
"The Pittsburgh Steelers announced plans to retire Mean Joe Greene's No. 75 this season.  There won't be a dry eye at the ceremony when some kid hands Mean Joe a Coca-Cola and Greene tosses the kid his framed jersey."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Amway Coaches Poll is out. It’s the first college football poll that awards points to teams that have soap on a rope in the locker room showers."  -- Brad Dickson