Friday, August 08, 2014


Baseball is searching for a new commissioner now that Bud Selig is retiring. MLB - Chad Picasner is available. I have a platform, but be warned - I'm old school and younger players may not like my changes.

Since there is really too much for one man to handle, I will appoint a second-in-command - my cohort in crime - Vod Kanockers. He will be VP of Baseball Operations. So we would go from Joe Torre, who mainly attends celebrations and special event (between naps) to someone who actually cares about the game and will fight injustice on all fronts - players, managers, front office personnel and umpires.

My 10 commandments would read as follows:
1) Fans like runs, therefore the DH will be in effect in both leagues.
2) Speed up the game. Batters will not be allowed to step out of the batter's box without permission. Pitchers must remain on the dirt portion of the mound.
3) Umpires who prolong arguments or instigate them, will be suspended. Evictions by umpires will be investigated in great detail.
4) ALL postseason games will start (first pitch) by 7:10 PM EST. All special games (i.e. Sunday night baseball or Fox Saturday games) will start by 7:10 PM local time.
5) Every team must schedule at least 3 true doubleheaders during the season, not twi-night or split games but true 2-for-the-price-of-one doubleheaders.
6) All umpires will be evaluated, game by game. Evaluations will be published at the end of the year, the highest scoring umpires will work the post season. Lower-scoring umps may be subject to dismissals.
7) Post season games will have NO off days between games in the same city.
8) Those failing drug tests will be severely punished: 100 games, then one year, then permanent ban.
9) Umpiring crews will consist of 5 umpires, with one umpire assigned as official scorer on a rotating basis.
10) Protests or complaints will be decided by Vod Kanockers. His word is final.

Not as good as the original 10 Commandments, but helpful to the game, nonetheless.

** Just when you think they're out of it, they pull themselves back in.
The Yankees continue to surprise me and the rest of baseball. They took three out of four from arguably the best starting rotation in the game. losing one because of a phenomenal catch by the Tigers centerfielder. Acquiring Chase Headley was a definite step up, but who would have thought the other additions would prove so successful. Kenny Singleton was right - the addition of Stephen Drew and Martin Prado seemed to change the whole attitude of the team. Let's hope it lasts.

** What did he do?
 Dan LeBatard, who writes for the Miami Herald and appears on ESPN, put up a billboard in Akron, Ohio, mocking LeBron James. The offending billboard read, "Your welcome, LeBron, Love Miami." with two championship rings pictured. He did this because Lebron failed to thank the fans of the Heat for their support in his years there. Nothing outrageous, kinda cute, in fact. For this, ESPN suspended him for two days. His stunt was "...all in fun." but apparently ESPN had no sense of humor. Steven A. Smith got 7 days for inappropriate remarks about abuse to women. So one suspension was too long (LeBetard), one was too short (Smith). Maybe ESPN should take on the baseball commissioner's job. They seem to have no sports sense anymore and the transition from Selig would be seamless.

** Uh, excuse me?
As part of a game day promotion, the NY Mets gave away toy trucks. Unfortunately, some of them had a Philadelphia Phillies logo. It appears the publicity department is no better than the team. 

** Tony LaRussa - not what I do but what I say.
LaRussa was upset because one of the Diamondback pitchers hit Pirate star Andrew McCutcheon in the back and has put him out of commission for a while. This created a big uproar because the game was out of hand and it appeared deliberate. LaRussa was upset because nobody complained when one of his players was hit in the hand the day before and broke it. He actually blames the Pirates for McCutcheon getting hit. "The Pirates have a policy of pitching up and in. That increases the chances of a Pittsburgh pitcher hitting a batter accidentally.And if you hit someone, well by golly, you have to live with the consequences when the other team hits your guy." Not that Tony says that's what actually happened.
"Who's got a mind reader? I'm very careful when I say I know. If I don't know, I don't know." LaRussa, when he was managing, was famous for his 2-for-1 policy: 'You hit one of my guys, I hit two of yours.' Of course, after these incidents, Tony never had to step up to the plate.

"Pretenders lead singer Chrissie Hynde claims she smoked marijuana with John McEnroe when he played at Wimbledon. Here’s a scary thought: The Brat was throwing those tantrums when he was mellow?"  -- Dwight Perry
"Here's the first injury scare at the Ravens’ camp: “Ray Rice suffered a slap on the wrist.”  -- Alan Ray
"The latest from Browns training camp. Yesterday afternoon, Johnny Manziel got blitzed, but then he got up, left the strip club and came straight to practice."  -- Argus Hamilton
"The NFL announced they will put tracking chips on players so that fans can record their speed and track their movements. “What an awesome idea!” said Lindsey Vonn"  -- TC Chong 
"A jogger in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park discovered a skeleton wearing a Nets cap. It was reportedly still waiting for a pass from Deron Williams."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"LeBron James made a surprise appearance at Cleveland Browns training camp. LeBron was only there for 30 minutes, and he's already ahead of Johnny Manziel on the depth chart."  -- Brad Dickson
"Pittsburgh Steelers legend Hines Ward is getting married at Heinz Field. The highlight should come when he clotheslines the best man."  -- Brad Dickson
"The NCAA Division I board of directors today voted to allow the 65 schools in the top five conferences to write many of their own rules. Uh,haven’t those schools been doing that for decades?"  -- Janice Hough
" According to a Harvard study, excessive sleep can lead to forgetfulness. Which, in the case of Toronto Maple Leafs fans, is probably just as well."  -- RJ Curry


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