Thursday, August 21, 2014

They Aren't the "Brownskins", are they Mike?

Professional blowhard Mike Ditka has set everyone straight on the controversy surrounding the Washington Redskins name. 

According to Ditka the Omniscient, the debate over whether the name of Washington's NFL team is an insult is "stupid" and the people who oppose it are “asinine”.

Of the name, Ditka added, "It was said out of reverence,  out of pride to the American Indian. Even though it was called a Redskin, what are you going to call them, a Brownskin?''

Well, thanks Mike for clarifying two facts: 1) Native Americans, I mean "Redskins", are “its”, and 2) "Redskins" is the only appropriate name to use when referring to “them” (unless, like Ditka, you prefer to use "it" as the singular pronoun and "them" as the plural).

Thanks, Mike. This settles any question remaining. No need to refer specifically to the Sioux, the Cree, the Oneidas, the Onondagas or any other Native American peoples. They are, after all, simply Redskins.

Mike will probably set Florida State straight regarding their wholly unnecessary and inaccurate use of the name Seminoles.  They are, according to Mike, always have been and always will be “redskins”. What else are you going to call them? Isn’t that right, Mike?

Now that Ditka has settled this issue for native peoples everywhere perhaps we can direct his brain toward other compelling problems. Think of the strides that could be made if Ditka's brain were studied for the impact that decades of blows to the head have on football players.

Mike’s contributions have just begun.


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