Sunday, April 28, 2013


## When things are going right, everything works, and I mean everything. Sabathia doesn't have his good stuff and even less velocity than usual, yet, there he is, still pitching in the 8th inning with a lead.  Girardi says he absolutely won't use Mariano Rivera three days in a row, so Joba Chamberlain comes in and fires a fastball that reached 97 mph and a curve that appeared to make a U-turn when it got to the plate.

And to compound matters, Girardi, who is often referred to as 'Joe Looseleaf' because of his reliance on stats and history when making decisions, goes against the baseball gods and starts Travis Hafner, a lefty, as the DH against a lefty starter. So Hafner goes out and hits a three-run homer and a game-tying triple against two left-handed pitchers.

Kevin Youkilis, who supposed to be filling in while A-Rod rehabs from surgery, hurts his back and HIS replacement, Jayson Nix, is playing so well, Youkilis may have trouble winning his temporary starting job back.

None of this can last of course, and the boo-birds will make their appearance soon after the next three game losing streak. But it's sure fun for now.

## Boston dumps three of it's big stars on the Dodgers, picks up some retreads (ala the Yankees), have the best record in baseball. Meanwhile, the Dodgers are struggling to reach .500.
The Astros, the Padres and the Marlins have a total of 20 wins between them. It's doubtful that any of them will get 50 wins this year. I'd say that maybe all three franchises should be eliminated, but at the speed of slow that Bud Selig works at, this wouldn't even come up for debate until the end of the decade.

## There is an interesting T-shirt being sold in Miami these days. The slogan:
"Marlins Baseball - Helping other teams get better since 1998."

## Everything is about the football draft these days, as the NFL has managed to drag it out for three days, as though we're all so interested in who the Lions will choose with the 189th pick. By that time, they're probably down to drafting student managers and limo drivers. But there are some interesting stories that come out of it, if you listen closely enough.
* The Bills confound all the draft experts by picking E.J. Manuel as the first quarterback chosen.  The experts say he's maybe the fifth or sixth best q-back in the draft and the Bills have screwed it up again. Well, this guy's abilities have improved tremendously in the last two days. Now the experts say he's the best leader, he's just what the Bills needed, he has all the tools, etc., etc. So he's the worst pick AND the best pick. The experts are right again.
* This is just what a player needs to hear. SU quarterback, Ryan Nassib, was predicted to go as high as the #6 pick in the draft.  He lasted until the fourth round, where the NY Giants picked him. The Giants, of course, have 32-year old, two-time Super Bowl champ, Eli Manning at that position. The Giants GM says, "If he never gets to play, that'll be great!"  Well, Ryan, it appears you've been chosen to carry a clipboard on the sidelines and get Eli a Gatorade when he's thirsty. That's putting that college education to work.
* A reporter asked Ron Jaworski what it was like when he was drafted.
"First of all, the draft was on a Tuesday. No one flew me to the draft site. No limo rides, no five-star hotel and no private jet to the city where I was chosen for a press conference. I was in my dorm room. At the end of the hall, there was a pay phone. When it rang, a foreign exchange student answered it and then knocked on my door. 'Ron, the Los Angeles Rams are on the phone.' Oh, that was today?"

"The Calgary airport plans to renumber its runaways because the magnetic North Pole's drift necessitates realignment every 60-70 years. In other rare phenomena, the Toronto Maple Leafs made the playoffs."  -- RJ Currie
"So much yellow at Oracle Arena for the Denver Nuggets-Golden State Warriors game last night – almost as if the Oregon Duck exploded."  -- Janice Hough
"The NFL draft just ended. The first round is the second biggest day to showcase guys turning pro, right after signing day at Auburn."  -- Brad Dickson
"Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington was caught smoking in the dugout. It’s going to be tough to get him to stop via peer pressure, since the rest of the guys in the dugout had tobacco in their cheeks that was the size of the bullpen cart."  -- Brad Dickson
"The EPA has declared Picher, Oklahoma - ravaged by years of industrial zinc & lead mining - to be the most toxic place in America. With Marlins Park in Miami a fast-closing No. 2."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Bills lauded top draft pick EJ Manuel's intangibles. Is one of them the ability to play well in thermal underwear?"  -- Bob Molinaro
"Richmond police arrested two Richard Childress Racing Crew members after they got into a postrace fight with a rival crewman. Or, as it's known in car-racing circles, trading body paint."  -- Dwight Perry


Saturday, April 27, 2013

WHILE THE INJURIES MOUNT UP... do the victories.  The Yanks lost two more guys yesterday, but still won. Even the Yankees don't know how they're doing it. They started the season with two second-string catchers vying for the starting job, and are now down to the second-string guy who LOST.

Ivan Nova, who pitches like he doesn't really want the job, hurt his elbow and left the game in the third inning. The logical choice to take his place is David Phelps, who has been teetering on the edge of winning a starting slot for a year now, but seems too good in his long relief job to be moved. So the Yanks look to the class AAA Scranton/Wilkes-Barre,, Railrunners. There seem to be two main choices: a retread, Chien Ming-Wang, that, as Annie-O says, would be Chien Ming-Wrong, or someone named Vidal Nuno. The name suggests an expensive shampoo, but in reality, he's a former Cleveland Indian draft pick. Here is Buster Olney's description, to help you decide -

"But every season, there are players who seem to come out of nowhere to play important roles. With that in mind, we present Vidal Nuno. He is 5-foot-not very much, weighs 100-and-not very much, and his fastball velocity is 80 mph plus not very much. He signed with the Yankees and was assigned to Class A ball, because he isn't very big and doesn't throw very hard. But it turns out there are two things that Vidal Nuno does very well. First, he has a tremendous changeup, secondly, he throws strikes. Like a machine."
In the meantime, Austin Romine has been called and may get the start behind the plate this afternoon. So far the Yanks have lost five starters plus one starting pitcher. They don't need more players, they need more doctors.

Edwin Encarnacion hit two more homers for the Blue Jays last night, and both times ran the bases with one elbow raised up. This kind of "showmanship" can irritate some pitchers and result in a little lesson for Encarnacion. That's not the Yankees style, but I think somewhere down the line, he's going to run into a pitcher who's not having a good day and be in for a little retaliation. We'll see.

## Rick Pitino, coach of the NCAA Champion Louisville Cardinals, has fulfilled a promise and has honored his team by getting a tattoo. It's on his back and is an elaborate "L". It's a nice gesture but it does limit future coaching jobs to places like Long Beach State, Loyola Maramount and LIU Brooklyn. Or any other team with a good sense of humor.

## Who is the hottest hitter in baseball? It's 37-year old David Ortiz. "Big Papi" is currently hitting .500 with 2 homers and 6 RBIs in only 24 at bats. That gives new meaning to "Boston Strong."

" Los Angeles #Lakers against the San Antonio #Spurs. As far as Jack Nicholson is concerned, it’s Too Few Good Men." --  Janice Hough
"The San Diego Chargers selected Manti Te’o. Or is it just somebody on twitter and Facebook pretending to be the San Diego Chargers?"  -- Alex Kaseberg
" Thack Moor hill in England has been declared a mountain after surveyors measured it at 610 metres tall instead of 609. So it isn't just Yankees - Red Sox fans making mountains out of moor hills."  -- RJ Currie
" How about that NFL Draft? I wouldn't say there are a lot of large men bear-hugging the commissioner, but by the end of the first round, he was keeping them at bay with a taser."  -- Brad Dickson
"A Bulls fan is suing Derrick Rose, claiming Rose's missing the entire season caused the fan to get depressed, which led to the fan becoming fat. If disappointment led to sports fans in Chicago putting on weight, Wrigley Field would have a capacity of nine."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Falcons beefed up their defensive line by signing former Giants star Osi Umenyiora. Everyone in Atlanta went bonkers - except for the unfortunate soul who sews the letters on the back of the Falcon jerseys."  -- Dwight Perry
 "The Jets vowed to take the best athlete available in the NFL draft. It's the same strategy the Kardashian sisters use."  -- David Lettrman
 "Liverpool forward Luis Suarez bit Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic during a Premier League soccer match, earning himself a 10-game ban. Or as eye-for-an-eve advocates prefer to call it, a penalty with some teeth in it."  -- Dwight Perry



Friday, April 26, 2013

New Golf Rules – 2013

While all golfers are aware of the USGA proposed rule changes limiting the use of anchored putters,  sports columnist Wade Holdraker has written a column detailing the following rule changes for 2013. They include the following:

Friends who have spent thousands of dollars on the latest clubs to help their game rather than spending the money on lessons are penalized one stroke anytime they complain

There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is definitely still on or near the course and will be pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty.

If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf.

When a shot must carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

Divots must be replaced after every shot, not just after a great approach shot.

You’re not allowed to purchase a new putter until you have the opportunity to throw it.

Putts that stop close enough to the cup to be blown in may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the cup. No one wants to make a mockery of the game.

If you’re afraid a full shot may reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up and complain that you should have waited or you can wait until the green is clear and top the ball half-way there.

There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds”. If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology not a penalty.

If the ball strikes a tree, rather than playing the ball from where it landed (usually directly behind said tree), you may place the ball at the distance you believe it would have traveled had the tree not gotten in the way.

Foursomes who do not offer to let a pair of golfers play through and just pretend they aren’t there, when no one else is playing ahead of them, have given that pair permission to hit into them on the next hole.

If it ain’t broke, try changing your grip.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

It’s not a gimmie if you’re still away.

No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot all players must chant, “You picked up your head”.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether they shot a six or a seven and looks back to the tee and starts counting their shots, put them down for an eight.

Happy golf season everyone!


Wednesday, April 24, 2013


##  The Yankees somehow beat one of the five best pitchers in the game last night. If you watch David Price pitch, you wonder how it's possible that he's 0-3. Ichiro Suzuki came up with a big hit in the ninth, which is great, because it was beginning to look like he was playing one year too long. He got caught stealing mostly because he came up with one of the most awkward slides I've ever seen.

## The umpires continue to show ineptitude in this series. Home plate umpire Andy Fletcher had a strike zone that couldn't be explained on Monday, and last night 1st base umpire Sam Holbrook missed a pick-off on a terrific throw by catcher Chris Stewart.

## Speaking of ineptitude, I mentioned the odd base running tactic of Jean Segura, who managed to steal second base, steal first base and get caught stealing second in that order, all in the same inning. It turns out the umpires allowed Segura to return to first based on rule 7;08(i), which allows a runner to return to a previously occupied base if he's been faked out by infielders. However, that rule would apply only to the LAST base occupied. The proper rule that covers this situation is rule 7;01, which basically prohibits a runner from returning to a base he occupied previous to his current position, i.e., he can't run the bases backward. Once he occupied 2nd and then tried for third , he could return to 2nd, but NOT all the way to first. I did not know this rule, but then I'm not paid to know it, the umpires are.
(Thanks to Jason Stark for finding this out and putting it in his blog)

## Someone has stolen the plaque in AT & T Park in San Francisco commemorating Barry Bonds 756th home run. There are so many straight lines in this story, I don't know which joke to use. Plus, we haven't been told how long it was missing before someone noticed it. It was glued to a brick wall in right-center field, so someone had to be pretty 'juiced up' in order to tear it off the wall.

## Jose Valverde is back with the Detroit Tigers after being released over the winter. Valverde was so bad at the end of last year, that the Tigers never let him pitch in the World Series. He just pitched three scoreless innings in Class A, so he says he's ready. Must be  tough Class A.

## Former Yankee Alfredo Aceves had a terrible night last night, giving up 8 runs in 3+ innings. so bad, in fact, the Red Sox ended up offering free tickets to anyone who paid money to sit through the misery. Okay, they really offered the free tickets because the weather was horrible, but Aceves' outing certainly didn't make it any better. I have been unable to confirm if the fans made the Red Sox promise that Aceves wouldn't be pitching before they accepted the offer, but it's possible.

## I read that there is a good chance that Syracuse University quarterback, Ryan Nassib may go to the Buffalo Bills in the draft. I wonder if the Bills new coach, Doug Marrone, former head coach of the Orange, had anything to do with this?

"The Yankees announced that Derek Jeter, 38, will be in a walking boot at a news conference Thursday. Either that or he will be in a walker. Not sure."  -- Janice Hough
"Teen phenom,Guan Tianlang, was penalized for slow play at the Masters. What, was he texting while driving?"  -- Dwight Perry
"This year, the Fattest City in America is McAllen-Edinburg-Mission, Texas. A parade was held. Everyone walked a half block, got winded and so they called the whole thing off."  -- Brad Dickson
"Apparently the new name of the four-team playoff that starts after the NCAA 2014 football season will be the “College Football Playoff.” Translation. No one’s bid enough for naming rights yet."  -- Janice Hough
"The Red's Shin-Soo Choo was hit by pitches a whopping nine times in his first 19 games. We see a Hamburger Helper endorsement in his future."  -- Dwight Perry
"A Honus Wagner baseball card sold for $2.1 million. "The buyer says the card is in excellent shape, although the gum was very hard to chew."  -- Jim Barach
"NBC football broadcaster Al Michaels was recently arrested on suspicion of DUI. By getting in trouble with the law, at this point, we are unsure if this was a temporary lapse in judgement or he was auditioning for a job at ESPN."  --  Brad Dickson


Monday, April 22, 2013


##  The Yanks are having pitching problems, which they shouldn't. The top three starters, Sabathia, Kuroda & Pettitte, are okay, but Hughes is inconsistent. One time he's great, the next, he's...well, not. Ivan Nova has 'AJ Burnett disease.'  Absolutely electric stuff, but no command - or so he says. To me, it looks like he's trying to not let batters hit the ball. He nibbles, nibbles and overthrows. He gets into batters counts, grooves one and there goes the ball game.
The bullpen is scary, too. David Phelps can't fight his way out of trouble anymore and Boone Logan has good outings and bad ones. David Robertson blew a game the other day. Let's hope that was just a glitch.

For all his speed, I don't think Brett Gardner knows how to steal. It takes forever for him to take off and even then he often guesses wrong. And having Cano bat second is ludicrous. What is Girardi thinking? This is wrong on so many levels. Gardner won't run because they want someone on base when Cano hits. Cano won't swing because he tries to give Gardner a chance to steal and both of them are taken out of their comfort zones. I can appreciate not having Suzuki bat second, because you try not to have three lefties in a row, and Ichiro's not hitting anyway. Bat Jason Nix second. He knows how to handle the bat.

## Boston finally got stopped. The Kansas City Royals swept a double header from them yesterday. Detroit is struggling, the Angels are struggling, the Dodgers are struggling and Toronto can't get out of their own way. It's still too early to write anyone off, though.

## Carlos Beltran is in the final year of a two-year deal with St. Louis. He's 36 and he appreciates the fact that his next contract will probably have him signing as a DH with some AL team. He's always wanted to be a Yankee, and it sounds like a perfect match to me. He's a switch-hitter, he plays hard and he is still serviceable in the outfield. When he signed his big deal with the Mets back in 2005, he made it clear he would take a lot less money to sign with the Yanks, but it never happened, we're not sure why. He's averaged hitting .282 with 28 homers and 105 RBIs over his 16-year career.  I'd jump on him.

## Vernon Wells continues to impress. He's a major force in the lineup and made a spectacular leaping catch in Toronto yesterday. This guy was a real steal for Cashman.

"After making a basket, a celebratory fist pump by the Chicago Bulls' Carlos Boozer hit the referee in the groin. Bob Knight and Rasheed Wallace immediately shouted, “Why didn't we think of that?”  -- Brad Dickson
" A week after the Masters’ no one has come forward as the person who called in Tiger Woods’ improper drop after the second round of the Masters,  but Marc Ragovin suggests this   “this tape from the Golf Hotline might provide a clue:  “Hello, Elyn from Florida, you’re on the air.”  -- Janice Hough
"Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Yovani Gallardo, 0-1 in three starts, was arrested Tuesday for DUI with a blood-alcohol level almost three times the reasonable limit. Just like his ERA."  -- RJ Currie
" A 25 yr old Illinois Chicago Bulls fan filed a lawsuit against Derrick Rose. He claims Rose missing the entire NBA regular season made him fat and depressed. Let’s hope this doesn’t come to anything, or Cubs fans may sue the team for playing with the same results."  -- Janice Hough
"Rapper Jay-Z is selling his stake in the Brooklyn Nets so he can pursue a career as a players' agent. You hate to see a guy from rap music — known for fights, feuds and mayhem — get involved in something as seedy as agenting."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Milwaukee Bucks, the only team with a losing record in this year's NBA playoffs, are 400-1 longshots to win the championship. Assuming, of course, they manage to get past North Carolina A & T in the play-in game."  -- Dwight Perry 
"Adam Scott won the Masters with Tiger Woods former caddie, Stevie Williams, on the bag. Is it just me or have you, too, noticed that all of Tiger's exes seemed to be doing pretty well for themselves?"  -- Mike Bianchi


Saturday, April 20, 2013


In the  sports world, that's always true.

## The Yanks won last night, just the way they weren't supposed to - with an aging pitcher and the home run ball. Is there some kind of magic elixir in the Yankee pinstripes that makes supposed over-the-hill players perform like they were in their prime? The only addition that was expected to provide production is Travis Hafner. The others, Wells, Overbay, and Youkilis, are stop-gaps, expected to hold down the fort until the big guns get back. Instead, they don't look like they're willing to give up their jobs without a fight. They are still hitting a collective .287 with 13 homers & 31  RBIs. There isn't a team in the league that wouldn't take that production from any four guys. And I haven't mentioned Robinson Cano yet.

## Last night, Milwaukee shortstop, Jean Segura, stole second base in the 8th inning of a game with the Chicago Cubs. Last night, Jean Segura was thrown out trying to steal second base in the 8th inning. Raise your hand if you went back and read the first sentence again. Well, both sentences are factual.
Here's how it happened. After successfully stealing second, Segura tried to steal third and got caught in a rundown. He made it back to second safely, only to discover that his team mate, Ryan Braun, was now occupying second also. The Cub infielder tagged both men, and by rule, Braun was called out. BUT, Segura thought HE was out and started to trot off the field. When he got close to first base, his coach told him to stay there. Now, he's back on first with one out. after a strikeout by Rickie Weeks, Segura tried to steal second again and was thrown out. Stole second AND caught stealing at second. That story should win you a few beers in a trivia contest some day.
But I wouldn't make the bet in a Milwaukee bar, if I were you.

## It's time for a football story. Baltimore manager, Buck Showalter, and NY Jets head (and I use the term loosely) coach, Rex Ryan, are having a bit of a set to. The world champion Baltimore Ravens are scheduled to have their season opener at home on the same night the Orioles are playing at home against the White Sox. Ryan thinks it's disgraceful that the Oriole game should go head-to-head against the Ravens game. Besides, they share the same parking lot and that would be a madhouse. Ryan says the Orioles should just "...give up their home game, because, after all, they have 80 other games at home, and the Ravens should be able to celebrate their championship uncontested." Showalter says the Ryan ought to pay attention to the Jets and not try to run Major League baseball.
The date at issue here is Thursday, September 5th. If this is such a big deal, why couldn't the Ravens game be moved back to the 4th. It wouldn't be a hardship on anyone, it's the first game of the season.
But let's deal with the main issue here. MLB announced their schedule  before the Ravens had even won their championship. The NFL announced THEIR schedule yesterday. No one was able to sit down and say, "Wait a minute, we've got a conflict here."  Is it possible the schedulers weren't even aware of the conflicting dates? Even worse, Rex Ryan is the one who noticed it? Rex Ryan, who doesn't even know he has a player on his team named Tim Teabow?

It's too bad that Rod Serling has passed away. He'd make a great National Sports Commissioner.

It seems the "Sideline Chatter" crisis has passed. I have received some information which will allow me to continue to share the pearls of wisdom from the desk of Dwight Perry.

"Big news from Augusta: Tiger Woods got in trouble for an improper drop. And this time it wasn't his pants."  -- RJ Currie
"Meanwhile back in the mundane sports world Mark Sanchez gave an interview about Tim Tebow, saying “I just don’t know if it was the best situation for either of us, but you play with the cards you are dealt with and do the very best you can.” Right so Tebow made him butt-fumble?"  -- Janice Hough
"Yes, as a matter of fact, Tebow told him to turn the other cheek.”  -- Dwight Perry
"A Florida state senator is calling for an investigation of the NCAA. This is a new low for the NCAA. It's considered shady by Florida politics standards."  -- Brad Dickson
" Favorite Tiger Woods did not win the Masters. Which saved the embarrassment of Elin Nordegren's lawyers showing up at the ceremony and cutting the green jacket in half."  -- Brad Dickson


Friday, April 19, 2013


## As I'm sure most of the free world has already heard, Derek Jeter has had a setback with his ankle injury. He's developed a small crack in the bone in that same area. The current guesstimate is that he won't return to duty until after the All-Star break in July. Cashman has said that the Yanks will continue to replace him in-house, but what else could he say? Any team he approaches about a trade will want an extortion-sized return, and there isn't much available anyway.  When they lost Teixeira, they approached Derek Lee, when A-Rod was lost, they thought of Chipper Jones. Who's up now?  Cal Ripken, Jr.? Cal Ripken, Sr.? Wait, Senior has passed on, so he's not an immediate solution.

## On Wednesday, the Yanks won a game they could have lost. Last night, they lost a game they should have won. When you have the bases loaded with one out, and your number three and four hitters due up, you ought to be able to squeeze out one run. They didn't.

## The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees have changed their name to the "Railriders."  I haven't been able to find out why. In the thirties, 'railriders' was another name for 'hoboes,' Vagrants, who hopped on freight trains, traveling the country, looking for food, shelter or even jobs. The name would have been appropriate last year, as the Scranton team had no home stadium and played all of their games on the road. The way Hal Steinbrenner is spending money these days, "Hoboes' might work, too.

## First I lost Stan Kegel for a few months, then Brad Dickson went on vacation. Tony Chong hasn't sent me his weekly 'groaner list' yet. Now, the Seattle Times, in it's infinite wisdom, has decided to extort 99 cents a week from me for the privilege of reading Dwight Perry's column, Sideline Chatter, four times a week. I don't know who should be more insulted: me, for having to pay to read such a small portion of the paper four times a week, or Mr. Perry, for putting such a small price on his talents?  At any rate, this may be the last 'free' quote from Mr. Perry -
"Gadsden (N.M.) High School's baseball coach plans to file a complaint after an umpire threatened to start ejecting his players if they didn't stop speaking Spanish. The coach, to his credit, told the ump: No Way, Jose."  -- Dwight Perry

 "A Wall Street Journal report says psychologists can consistently pick the loser of a fight by seeing who has the biggest, toothiest smile before they square off. I can't see this working with hockey players."  -- RJ Currie
" Derek Jeter apparently has a small crack in his surgically repaired left ankle and will be out at least until the All-Star break. At this point the Yankees may decide to seek a second opinion from an expert paleontologist."  -- Janice Hough
   Stupidest Things In Sports
"Tennis champions who crumple to the ground when they win a Grand Slam event. Whatever happened to just walking to the net and shaking hands? I could even live with them racing to the net and jumping over it to greet the loser. But from Andre Agassi to Rafael Nadal, these modern “champions” now collapse to their knees, stomachs or backsides like they have been shot by a sniper.
"Injury time in soccer. It feels like a random number that every referee pulls out of a jar. Here’s a novel idea: Just stop the clock any time there is an “injury,” then restart it when play resumes. This would allow players and fans to know precisely WHEN THE GAME ENDS.
"A goat’s head was delivered to Wrigley Field. Was the rear end delivered to Steve Bartman?"  -- TC Chong
"Ten days after signing a 10-year contract extension, New Mexico coach Steve Alford accepted the UCLA job. Just when you think loyalty in sports may be improving a smidgen, a guy breaks his contract 9 years, 11 months and 20 days early"  -- Brad Dickson
"According to Psych Central, people who seem able to wait endlessly for something good to happen actually experience physical sensations of pleasure in looking forward to things. At last, an explanation for Cubs fans."  -- RJ Currie
"A Pennsylvania man was arrested for hunting in a Walmart parking lot. I think we're going to need another sequel to “You Might Be a Redneck If...”  -- Brad Dickson


Wednesday, April 17, 2013


It's probably obvious why.

Note from RJ Currie:
I just heard about the Boston Marathon bombing. So far, three dead - including an 8-year-old - and more than 100 wounded. No doubt, some will try to spin this tragedy into morbid jokes. I am not one of them. I am sickened and saddened by yet another senseless attack on innocent people.
[Posted 4/15/13] 

I know I speak for my family and friends when I say how saddened we are by all these heartless acts of violence. 

## There are surprises up and down the standings. Dodgers are 7-7, the Angels are 4-10, Tampa is 4-9 and Boston, yes Boston, is 9-4. The Yanks have scored the third most runs in the American League and have played less games than all of them. 

## Bobby Abreu received no contract offers this winter and says he's taking a year off to take care of his business ventures and will come back to play next year. He's 39. Good luck with that, Bobby. 

## No one - including Derek - will offer any definite timetable as to his return. Girardi says that when he is ready to perform all the baseball activities, he will basically need a full spring training regimen before he returns. We might be looking at the middle of May.
Mark Teixeira has passed the next step in his recovery. He is now swinging a bat under water. He ought to be right at home: he always looks like he's running under water.  

## Today is the 60th anniversary of the longest homerun ever hit. Mickey Mantle's 565-ft blast in Griffith Stadium in Washington, D.C. There is a lot of conjecture as to how far the ball really went, since we only have the word of NY Yankee publicist, Red Patterson, and you know publicists would never lie, don't you? 
Actually, Mantle always claimed that the ball he hit at Yankee Stadium that hit the upper facade, was the hardest ball he ever hit. Mantle wasn't a big guy, 5ft 11 inches and 195 lbs. at the peak of his career, but he was strong, had great wrists and amazing hand-eye coordination.  So maybe he did hit it that far, maybe he didn't. Either way, let's not ruin a good story.

" Two Chicago Cubs pitchers tied a record with 5 wild pitches in a inning today against the SF Giants Mitch Williams wants his nickname retroactively changed to “Not-so-wild-thing”  -- Janice Hough
"If Tiger had won, or came within 2 shots, this tournament will be marked with a Masterisk.”  -- TC Chong
"Researchers at Berkeley say new developments in brainwave-sensing technology mean most university students could soon be typing assignments using the power of thought. The rest have athletic scholarships."  -- RJ Currie
"Ever pick up a big, long ole stick and flip it end-over-end into the water? Then you can picture Kareem Abdul-Jabbar competing on Splash."  -- RJ Currie
"The 76ers need to open their wallet for free agency: "Washington and Lincoln can't play the corners for you, but they can get somebody that can."  -- Julius Irving
"A dad didn't think his son was getting enough playing time in the season opener for 7- and 8-year-olds, so he pulled a .45 handgun on his kid's baseball coach. In keeping with the theme, it happened in Moody, Ala."  -- Dwight Perry
"Monday, in case you've forgotten, was tax-return deadline day. Just think of yourself as Tiger Woods, and the IRS is about to exact a 25-stroke penalty."  -- Dwight Perry
"A man is walking around the entire world. He’s not trying to set a record. He has a ticket to fly on American Airlines but walking is faster."  -- Brad Dickson
" France wants to tax soccer players at a rate of 75 percent. Imagine if the U.S. taxed athletes at a rate of 75 percent? We could pay down the national debt just from the guys on the Yankees DL."  -- Brad Dickson


Saturday, April 13, 2013


## Let's start with the most obvious. The Yanks turned a triple play last night against Baltimore. The triple play is one of the most interesting plays in baseball, partly because it takes a while to occur and can require an awful lot of teamwork. The unassisted triple play happens so fast that you need replay to actually see what happened. The Yanks triple play included all 4 infielders and a total of 6 assists. Two of the infielders, Youkilis and Overbay, are new to the team, and Jason Nix is a super-sub, but the teamwork was perfect. Of course, the Oriole baserunners helped. Alexi Casilla, on second, misjudged the soft liner to Cano and started back to second, which made him dead meat in a rundown. Manny Machado, who hit the ball, was a little too aggressive and got caught in no-man's land for the final out.
Ichiro Suzuki continues to struggle, going 0-4 last night. No home runs, but the Yanks are still hitting, in spite of the two-day vacation imposed by the weather.

## The Orioles, who had all the luck in the world last year, don't have it this year. Adam Jones dropped a bases-loaded fly ball in deep centerfield - a three-run error. In their next at bat, they blew a big chance to get back into the game when the first two men got on, by hitting into a triple play. The worm has turned.

## Carlos Quentin was suspended for 8 games for attacking Zack Greinke and injuring his shoulder after Greinke hit Quentin with a pitch. The suspension is too short. Dodger manager felt Quentin should be suspended for as long a Greinke is out, but that might be too much. I think he should be suspended for as many starts as Greinke misses, approximately 12-14.

## Bonus item:
The Toronto Blue Jays, considered to be the favorites to win the AL East, are in last place. Boston & New York, expected to fight for last place are tied for first.
The team thought to be the best in baseball, the Washington Nationals, have the worst record, 1-9, and are in last place.
The LA Angels, with Josh Hamilton and Albert Pujols, are only slightly better at 2-8, and have already had their first team meeting.

"Lindsey Vonn is in Augusta cheering Tiger on at the Masters. And presumably making sure Woods doesn’t head out for a pancake breakfast by himself."  -- Janice Hough
" Supermodel Adriana Lima wowed a Miami fashion show by deliberately wearing a designer outfit backwards. Lima looked fabulous, although no one knew if she was coming or going."  -- RJ Currie
"May I suggest we send the fired Rutgers basketball coach to deal with North Korea?"   -- Tim Hunter
"14 year old Guan Tinliang of China is the youngest player ever to compete at The Masters Golf Tournament. He finished today scoring a 73, and is in the middle of the pack. Through an interpreter, Guan said he’s wanted to play this course ever since he was a kid."  -- TC Chong
"To go to a game at Yankee Stadium now costs $365 for a family of four. It's getting so that an American family of four no longer can afford to scream obscenities at the Red Sox."  -- David Letterman
"Down in Single-A baseball, Chicago Cubs prospect Jorge Soler was fined and suspended five games for approaching the opposing team’s dugout wielding a bat. The punishment could have been worse, but since he was a member of the Cubs organization, baseball officials figured he actually wouldn’t hit anything."  --  Janice Hough

Norman Chad's Stupidest Things In Sports
"Sportscasters wearing leis every time they cover an event in Hawaii. You don’t see newscasters walking around with rosary beads every time they cover something at the Vatican."
"The seventh-inning stretch. For starters, considering the obesity epidemic in America, there’s no room to stretch any more without knocking over your upper-deck neighbor. Besides, here in Los Angeles, most of us have left by the seventh inning, anyway."


Thursday, April 11, 2013


##  The Cleveland-NY game got rained out yesterday, and since this is the only time the Yanks play in Cleveland, they will have to fly in on an off-day for both teams to make it up. Both teams are off Monday, Cleveland plays at home Sunday and Tuesday and the Yanks will be in NY on both Sunday & Tuesday. Seems perfect. It's too logical - MLB will never go for it.

##  Milwaukee GM, Doug Melvin, agreed with some statistical analysts, who say that closers have little value because anybody can get three outs in an inning to end a game. Melvin was quoted as saying, "Maybe everybody can do it, but NO ONE  can do consistently." Yeah, right. Doug Melvin meet Mariano Rivera.

## Executive Vice Presidant of MLB told Buster Olney in an interview, that the outside pitch was the one most often missed by the Umpires, especially the outside pitch to lefty hitters. He also mentioned that one of the reasons was that catchers are so good at "framing" pitches.  "Framing," by the way, is baseballs official way of saying that catchers are adept at pulling pitches back into the strike zone. As Annie-O will tell you, I have often said that I think umpires are wrong about 80% of the time when calling outside pitches.
But even though MLB has acknowledged this problem for years, they haven't been able to solve it.

##  The umpiring crew for the Washington Nationals game got stuck in traffic in Washington yesterday and got to the park late. No truth to the rumor that no one noticed they weren't there until the 6th inning.

## Michael Carter-Williams is leaving Syracuse to turn pro. He's a very talented player, but he could really use another year of seasoning. He plays out of control sometimes and makes mistakes, but boy, the ability is there.

" According to a recent Gallup-Healthways measure of job happiness, bus drivers are in a group with the lowest mental well-being. In a related story, it just got harder to sleep on the team bus."  -- RJ Currie
"Tom Brady cuts Danny Amendola's hair to look just like Wes Welker's."  -- The ONION.COM

"Fans wearing signs and T-shirts lampooning the skinflint Marlins were ejected from Florida's home opener Monday, but they actually got off easy. Do it again, they were warned, and we'll make you stay and watch all nine innings."  Dwight Perry
"As he left the court after his team lost to La Salle, Ole Miss guard Marshall Henderson flipped off the crowd with both hands. If it were up to me, this would make the “One Shining Moment” montage."  -- Brad Dickson
"Many Colorado Rockies fans were complaining because the team doesn’t have their home opener until April 15. Today’s high temperature in Denver? 18 degrees. I think this is Mother Nature’s way of saying “STFU.”  -- Janice Hough
From Norman Chad - "The Stupidest Things In Sports"
"Relief pitchers warming up when they come into a baseball game. What the heck have they been doing in the bullpen for the past 10 minutes? That would be like letting reserves shoot around for a while after they substitute into a basketball game."
"Baseball teams paying millionaire players meal money. Think about it."


Tuesday, April 09, 2013


## Congratulations to the Louisville Cardinals, NCAA Division I champions. Michigan played tough, but that stifling Louisville defense just wears you down. Read Vod's post below for an overall view of the game.

Best line of the night: "Doesn't Rick Pitino look like a vampire who's a quart low?"   - Vod Kanockers

## Not only did the Yanks win, they won big. Last year, the bullpen was absolutely a shut-down company. This year, they're...well...exciting (?).  When Chamberlain first came up, he just blew people away with a 98 mph fastball and sharp late-breaking slider. Now, he's trying to finesse everyone, nibbling at corners and throwing a less-than-snappy slider 80% of the time.
For guys who weren't supposed to hit homeruns, only 6 teams in the majors have more homers and the Yanks are on a pace to hit 230+ dingers. I don't expect they'll do that the whole season, but it is encouraging.
What's with Bret Gardner? Has he lost a step or is he relying so much on his speed that he's trying that hard to get a good jump off of first?  He's not hitting, either. Up until yesterday, neither was Cano, but he's actually been running hard to first base EVERY TIME. I'll take that.
In the meantime, the "stopgap, over-the-hill gang" - Travis Hafner, Vernon Wells and Kevin Youkilis -  are doing great.  They're hitting a combined .380 with 5 homers and 14 RBIs. That's all you could want out of your 3-4-5 hitters. Teixeira, Granderson & A-Rod may have to win their jobs back when they're activated.

## I read where a reporter asked Tiger Woods what his biggest regret was. I thought the answer was obvious. "Boy, am I sorry I brought that nine-iron home."

## Did you hear that police in L.A. pulled over and ticketed a guy wearing an Easter Bunny suit? Why is that a big deal? You can see that every day in Philadelphia.

## Congratulations also to Rick Pitino, the latest addition to the Basketball Hall of Fame.

## Usually, the visiting team is assigned the dugout behind third base but for two straight series, the visiting Yanks have been in the first base side dugout.

## First we lost Stan Kegel, now Brad Dickson is going on vacation for a week. If Dwight Perry takes some time off, I may have to retire.

## I can't believe it. In the ninth inning last night, home plate umpire Marty Foster made a horrendous call on a pitch, calling a strike on a pitch clearly low and outside, ending the game. Afterwards Foster admitted it was a bad call. I'm very impressed that he stood up and took the blame for a missed call. That seldom happens.

## Terry Francona got lost yesterday, trying to walk the two blocks from his hotel to the stadium. No truth to the rumor that Terry was heard to say, "This was easier at Fenway, when all I had to do was follow the trail of chicken wing bones and empty beer cans."

"Have you seen Nike's new ad featuring Tiger Woods and the tagline Winning Takes Care of Everything? Two words for Nike: Lance Armstrong."  -- RJ Currie
" Reportedly, Auburn altered grades. It looks bad. The Auburn A.D. received a letter from the SEC commissioner, and through force of habit changed the “C” in SEC to a “B.”  -- Brad Dickson
"All these scores Sunday – NY wins 7-0,   Cleveland wins 13-0,   Boston wins 13-0,  St. Louis wins 14-3…. Did someone start the NFL preseason early and not tell me?"  -- Janice Hough
"A 18-pound tortoise named Cashew who disappeared from a museum in Dubuque, Iowa, was found alive and in good health two days later in a building elevator. Officials believe the tortoise was stolen and then returned. Which would be easier to explain than her just having run away."  -- Janice Hough
"Robby Cano replaced Scott Boras with Jay Z's agent:  Cano now has performance bonuses in his contract for rapping the national anthem, 'God Bless America' and 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game.'"  -- TC Chong
" 35 Atlanta teachers face possible charges for inflating students' scores on standardized tests.  But on the plus side, they've all been offered jobs at Auburn University."  -- Dwight Perry
 "An outdated toll-free number for the Yanks' box office on takes callers to a sex line instead. Coincidence? A-Rod just volunteered to man the phone bank."  -- Dwight Perry


Street Fight in Atlanta

Soon after the announcers deservedly praised Michigan freshman Spike Albrecht for putting up 17 points in 15 minutes of playing time in the first half, declaring it a performance never before seen in a championship game, Louisville junior Luke Hancock completed a personal 14 – 1 run hitting 4 consecutive 3’s to erase a 12 point deficit and give Louisville the lead. Hancock finished the half with 16 points in 13 minutes of play. Game on.

Doesn’t Rick Pitino look like a vampire who’s a quart low?

This Final Four, perhaps more than any other, was positive proof that contemporary players are too big and too fast for the current crop of hapless officials. It took less that 2:30 before this crew blew an obvious goal tending call when Louisville’s Dieng ‘blocked’ a shot just after it touched the backboard. The Three Blind Mice didn’t stop there. The laugher of the night was at the 11:09 mark of the second half when Louisville’s Luke Hancock took the legs out from under a Michigan driver and the Mice gave the foul to a Louisville player not involved in the play, rather than give Hancock his 4th foul. There was a time when I thought officials blew calls from time to time. Now, they just blow.

Interesting Final Four Fact? At the 8:30 mark of the 1st half Michigan had five freshmen on the floor.

Most Outstanding Player – junior Luke Hancock. Maybe. His 14 point first half run was indeed outstanding. I’ll give my non-vote to Chane Behanan. The refs allowed an on-court rumble and Behanan was the clear winner grabbing 12 boards, including 7 offensive boards, as well as beating the snot out of any Michigan player stepping into the lane. It wasn’t pretty but it was the difference.

Baseball News

It was a big day of hitting and pitching for the boys from New York. Of course, that would be the Mets. Matt Harvey threw high-90s bullets and the Mets pounded Roy Halladay in their 5th win. What’s going on here?

In an unexpected development, the Yankees won their second game in a row. Brett Gardner, thankfully, got a hit… before immediately being thrown out attempting to steal 2nd. Hiroki Kuroda turned in a gritty performance, both in form and substance, throwing 111 pitches in 5.1 innings and it looks like Joba Chamberlain might settle into the role of mop up man when the team is up big taking 29 pitches to complete one inning of work. The good news was he lowered his ERA to 13.50 (yes, I know it’s too early to care but I liked the line).  All in all, a good day for the Yanks.

In Other News

Margaret ‘The Milk Snatcher’ Thatcher died today. She was a staunch ally of Ronald ‘Ketchup is a Vegetable’ Reagan. (If you don’t recognize the references fell free to use Google, Bing, or your search engine of choice. We can’t be expected to tell you everything.)

Monday, April 08, 2013

Out with the old…

Brittney Griner earned The Associated Press Player of the Year award for the second straight season. Griner, just the third player to earn the award in consecutive years, averaged 23.8 points, 9.4 rebounds and 4.1 blocks this season.

Griner received 37 of 40 votes from the 40-member selection committee. Stanford's Chiney Ogwumike received two votes while Notre Dame's Skylar Diggins received the other. 

The one question that we all want answered is, “What does Jay Bilas think about this?”

In with the new…

UConn freshman sensation Breanna Stewart led the Huskies in dismantling Notre Dame in the women’s NCAA semi-finals. Stewart, a Cicero-North Syracuse High School alum, blistered the Irish on both ends of the court shooting 10 – 16 from the field, 4 – 5 from 3, 4 blocked shots and committed only one turnover in 35 minutes of floor time.

It was a tough way for Irish senior point guard Skyler Diggins to end her outstanding career. UConn’s defense and Notre Dames abysmal shooting, including Diggins’ horrific 3 – 15, ended her national championship quest.

Yanks Win 2 of last 6…

I’m going to save this headline. It might get a lot of use this year.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Ah, that struck a nerve!

Good to know Jay Bilas acquired papal infallibility. Still, we could use some unbilased views now and again.

Thought some might like to read Brandon Triche's Facebook post:

"I'm heartbroken. Syracuse gave me everything, I could only hope to return the favor. I'm sorry to who we let down, but this year was special to us from the start. My 4 years included a lot of hardships, but also so much success. I'm gunna miss this place so much. I'm gunna miss the fans even more. You all are amazing. Thank you so much for supporting me throughout my years at Cuse. I love you coach Boeheim, all the coaches I've had at Cuse and all my teammates. Thank you. And shut it down Cuse. Once a Syracuse Orange, always a Syracuse Orange."

 No surprise there are those who can find much blame to lay on him. 


It seems we are not allowed to post any opinions that do not agree with Vod. I don't recall seeing his name on the list of TV analysts, but maybe that's a good thing, since the only views I respect are the ones belonging to Jay Bilas. And that includes you Vod. Just being definite and dismissive of other peoples views, does not automatically make you right.
So sit right down next to Charles Barkley and Dick Vitale and state your opinions. Unfortunately, I have no "Mute" button for you.


Give It a Rest

I do wish Chad would remain quiet about basketball. It is increasingly tedious to read his clueless and wrong-headed analysis about what’s wrong with (pick the target of the day).

So, Brandon Triche was responsible for not being the leader he should have been? Maybe Chad looks to seniors to take control at the end of games but coaches and players look to their stars and hot hands to deliver. Oh, stars like freshman Carmelo Anthony in 2003 or hot player Mitch McGary last night.
And exactly for what is Triche to be blamed in Chad’s myopic eyes. A season that ended in the Final Four? Oh, the shame. Blamed for last night’s loss to Michigan? – the beneficiary of two remarkable lame calls while SU had possession, down 2, with under 1:30 left in the game. First, the horrible blocking call that eliminated MCW and turned the ball over to Michigan and, finally, the hapless charge call that eliminated Triche and, once again, turned the ball over to Michigan.

After reading his rips of Brittany Griner and Brandon Triche, I’m fairly certain our boy really doesn’t watch games.

While stats are not necessarily the whole story behind the outcome of a game, they are usually worth reviewing for clues to what really happened.

Last night Triche had what most have grown to expect, a solid performance, more workman-like than flashy, but essential to the team’s performance. Trish scored 11 on 4 - 8 shooting, put up 8 assists (one data-driven definition of leadership) and committed only 2 turnovers. Compare that to the combined stats of Michigan’s three starting and highly touted guards, Trey Burke, Tim Hardaway, Jr., and the guy who stated he was unafraid of the SU zone, Nik Stauskas. These three went off for a combined 5 - 29 from the field, 9 assists and 2 turnovers. Stauskas, by the way was scoreless, going 0 – 5 from three. So how did Michigan possible win?

Freshman Mitch McGary shot 4 – 8, grabbed 12 boards and dished out 6 assists. Clearly, Michigan was wrong to rely on a freshman.

Chad might have had more luck assigning ‘blame’, if there really was any to be assigned, by looking at someone other than Triche. Point guard MCW was out of control on the offensive end of the floor most of the night, shooting 1 – 6, dishing out a weak 2 assists and turning the ball over 5 times.

Senior James Southerland recorded a real stinker shooting 2 – 9 and was hopelessly absent on the boards – so absent that freshman Jeremy Grant got 17 minutes of playing time in Southerland’s place.

Last night it was C.J. Fair, Brandon Triche and nobody else for the Orange.

Do me a favor, Chad. Stop it.

Is Your Team's Owner a Major League Asshole?

"In early February, a US Patent and Trademark Office court in Washington, DC, confirmed what baseball fans had suspected for more than a century: The New York Yankees are evil. After an internet startup, Evil Empire Inc., had attempted to trademark the phrase "Baseball's Evil Empire," the Yankees filed an injunction, and the panel of judges agreed. As the court put it, "The record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees." If only it were true. The ranks of Major League Baseball owners include some of the richest men—and they are almost exclusively white males—in the country, as likely to open their wallets for a super-PAC as they are a top-shelf free agent. Viewed in the context of the competition, with its anti-discrimination settlements and SEC investigations, the Yankees are, like their Opening Day roster, fairly pedestrian."
"So where does your team's ownership rank? We took a stab at it, analyzing each franchise by its level of political activity (based on campaign donations and office-seeking) and relative degree of evil—copyrighted or not. Read below the matrix for the full breakdown."


## They came close, but finally got put away. Michigan is a good team, but I haven't seen anyone deal with that Louisville pressure.
The Orange had another fine team that was exciting to watch - most of the time.  Like other Syracuse teams, they had potential, but again, that's were it stopped. Michael Carter-Williams is a force to be reckoned with, but he is prone to making some bad decisions. The real problem is that Brandon Triche was not the leader he should have been. You look to the seniors to take control at the end and Triche hardly ever did.
They have a good nucleus coming back next year, but they will be counting heavily on a couple of sophomores to make a good showing.
At least I finally beat Annie-O in the NCAA Brackets.

## Speaking of good showings, do we have to wait for every fifth day this year and rely on Andy Pettitte to give us a good pitching performance? It appears that Mariano Rivera isn't going to get many saves unless they bring him in in the fifth inning to protect one of those rare leads the Yanks are getting.
Interesting lineup: 6 of the 9 players weren't with the Yankees last year.  One of the three spent the year in the minors, one missed most of the year with an injury and the last one stopped playing in the post season. Things won't be getting any better today - Verlander is on the mound for the Tigers.

## This is real class. Josh Hamilton's wife called security before his first game in Texas, his former team. He says fans were yelling obscenities and personal insults at her and her children. This is stupid. These fans should be barred from the stadium for the rest of the year. They showed the fans in the bleachers on ESPN, pulling out newspapers and pretending to ignore the game when Hamilton came up for his first at bat. Now THAT was cool. This other stuff isn't.

## Okay, this austerity program has got to stop. It's one thing to limit player salaries - that's a good thing - but when they start fooling around with the bonus gifts you get at the gate, well, enough is enough. In the past the Yankees have given away team pictures, baseball bats, baseballs, even visors. Now they are giving away Flower Seed Packets.  Really? Flower Seed PacketsAnd they don't say what kind of flower. There may be an awful lot of dandelions growing in the Bronx this summer.  C'mon, Hal, dump a middle reliever and spent the 2 or 3 Million on a real gift, like a George Steinbrenner bobblehead doll, with extra large pockets, of course. Or a Hal Steinbrenner doll, with the pockets sewn shut.

"Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera — a combined 83 years old — teamed up to do the pitching in the Yankees' first win this season. And not taking any chances, the team had Whitey Ford warming up in the bullpen."  -- Dwight Perry
"Saturday’s Husker spring game was on BTN. Which is an improvement over last year’s game, which was on the Weather Channel."  -- Brad Dickson
"The best beer prices at MLB Parks this year are $4 at Cleveland’s Progressive Field and $5 for Arizona and Houston. The beer is not The Schlitz, but their teams sure are."  -- TC Chong
"A rare Honus Wagner baseball card just sold for $2.1 million. What's crazier, the price for a single card, or the fact that these days $2.1 million might get you a mediocre middle reliever?"  -- Janice Hough 
"The Pittsburgh Steelers considered signing free-agent running back Ahmad Bradshaw. The headline read: “Steelers Nearing Offer To Bradshaw.” I thought to myself: “They wouldn’t. Would they?”  -- Brad Dickson 
"Lakiha Spicer has filed suit in Los Angeles for emotional distress over threatening emails sent to her, but in the end, Spicer might not be the one in need of protection. She's married to Mike Tyson."  -- Dwight Perry 
"A White House report puts the odds this year of a city-sized asteroid hitting the earth at one in 20,000. Or about twice as likely as the Cubs winning the World Series"  -- RJ Currie 


Friday, April 05, 2013


This is the saddest story since the Penn State fiasco. How can you trust these nationally known universities with your sons and daughters,  when they allow this horrible treatment of children and young adults?

First, Rutgers coach Mike Rice is suspended, then fired for the verbal and physical abuse of his players. Now the assistant coach, Jimmy Martelli, has also been fired for the same violations. We also find out that the Athletic Director, Tim Pernetti, and the President, Robert Barchi, knew about these violations as long ago as last summer. All they did at first, was suspend coach Rice and finally, under pressure, fired him. Yesterday, they fired the assistant coach. Pernetti and Barchi, however, are continuing in their present positions. WHY?

Turns out, that's a stupid question. This is what ESPN has found out. "A source close to Rutgers' Board of Trustees told "Outside the Lines" on Wednesday that "Pernetti's job is safe" for now because of his prior work on getting Rutgers, currently a member of the Big East, into a lucrative deal to move into the Big Ten."  So the answer to the "WHY" question is $$$$$$$$$. 

Any other questions? 

##  The Yankees win! Thhheee Yankees win! I wasn't sure we were ever going to hear that again.  I like the wins, I'm already sick of John Sterling and his home run calls. "Wells Bells?"  Really?

Pettitte shuts down the Red Sox for eight innings and Mariano closes out the 9th...with a little hitch. I'll never tire of that. The Yanks have now hit four homers in the first three games. That's a pace for 216 homers for the year. Don't get too excited, but even Annie-O is hopeful again.

Michael Kay and the rest of the broadcasting team have been saying that the Yanks will have to play a lot more small ball this year. I can't think of anything smaller than watching Brett Gardner get thrown out at second base twice. The home run was pretty, though.

If they are going to use that extreme shift on Robinson Cano, he has got to take advantage of it. He's not like Teixeira, a dead pull hitter, he can hit to all fields. Four bunts or slap singles to left field in one game will stop that shift or greatly reduce it.

 After Pettitte threw a ball past Cervelli, he stood on the mound and watched his catcher retrieve it. In the meantime, Shane Victorino, on second at the time, rounded third and took off for home. Luckily, Cervelli beat him to the plate and got him out. If he had scored, it would have been on Pettitte. Not what you would expect from a guy with Andy's experience. 

## The semi-finals of the NCAAs start tomorrow night. Syracuse is the late game again. There are only TWO games. Why can't they start the first game 2:00 or 3:00 PM? That way the Syracuse game could end about 10:00 PM instead of  one o'clock in the morning. I'd like to know what drugs are being used by the programmers.

## Finally, to answer Vod, Brittany Griner may actually have a lot of athletic ability, but she has not exhibited any moves. She hasn't had to. If you watch her games, she scores a lot from under the basket, taking shots without leaving her feet, let alone displaying any fakes. She can jump, and move . but she needs to be taught how to use her abilities. This is the point I was making. You might as well double and triple-team her, because she hasn't learned how to take advantage of it. If she goes pro, they will teach her.

A sad note. Stan Kegel, Weakly Humerus News, a blog in which he lists all the great quotes of the week, has suspended his blog for a few months, " get some much needed rest." A lot of the humerous quotes in this blog come from Stan. Here's hoping he returns soon.

 "A White House report puts the odds this year of a city-sized asteroid hitting the earth at one in 20,000. Or about twice as likely as the Cubs winning the World Series"  -- RJ Currie
"The Yankees beat Boston tonight 4-2. It won’t show on the box score but Pay-Rod had a great night too, scoring 5 phone numbers."  -- TC Chong
"The Chicago Cubs are in first place. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?"  -- Janice Hough
"The U.S. has sent F-22 planes to join South Korean drills in order to send a message to North Korea. This is unnecessary. Considering the reported strength of the North Korean military, we could have sent over the Navy guy from The Village People."  -- Brad Dickson
"JaMarcus Russell, the corpulent QB bust, is back under 300 pounds as he attempts another NFL comeback.Regaining his touch on drop-back passes should be no problem, fitness gurus say, once he gets the roll out."  -- Dwight Perry
""Now THIS is what a Final Four is supposed to look like. We have a clear favorite (Louisville), two teams that could plausibly win it (Michigan and Syracuse) and a random team that appears to have accidentally hopped on the wrong bus."  -- Michael Rosenberg
"The Knicks' Carmelo Anthony had 37 points on the stat sheet before accumulating his first rebound, assist, steal or foul against the Heat on Tuesday night. Which certainly puts a whole new spin on "all-or-nothing player."  -- Dwight Perry
" Ndamukong Suh has been eliminated from “Splash.” The scary thing for the Detroit Lions is this means they go into next season with a defensive lineman who lost an athletic competition to Louie Anderson."  -- Brad Dickson



Thursday, April 04, 2013

V - Thursday

Again and Again and Again...
The Yankees sent pitchers to the mound tonight with a combined age of 83, and it only took two guys. If you are any kind of baseball fan you have to love the performances of Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera at Yankee Stadium tonight. For the 18th time in his career Pettitte was the winner in a game that stopped a multi-game losing streak and Mariano was, once again, Mariano, the greatest closer of all time.

Official Misconduct 
Pac-12 coordinator of officials Ed Rush resigned Thursday less than a week after first reported that he put a bounty on Arizona coach Sean Miller in the Pac-12 tournament and creating an atmosphere of fear among his officials. Several of ESPN's talking heads including the egomaniacal, self-absorbed loudmouths on First Take bent over backwards to dismiss this as no more than Rush "joking" with his officials, remarks taken out of context, he's a real saint, blah, blah, blah.
Nice try, morons. The general consensus expressed by PAC-12 officials was that Ed Rush does not joke, is a bottom-line bully who manages by intimidation and whose resignation was necessary to avoid a wholesale mutiny for the coming season by PAC-12 officials with agreements with other leagues. 
Rush is far from the only psycho official out there - nor is Mike Rice the only psycho coach. DI schools long ago sold out to Huge Money as their core value in basketball and football while wishing they could reap megadollars from other sports. The current "stories" are simply a bit of scum that floated to the top of an increasingly corrupt entertainment empire. The stake holders (lol) will put on quite a spectacle this weekend. Steve Alford will be watching from Los Angeles while his wife manages packing in New Mexico. SU and three other entertainment complexes will reap wads of cash from the sale of player jerseys, young men will be flown to Atlanta, housed, catered, and attended to for the big games and every call will be whatever an official wants it to be. 
Given the current circumstances we might get a decent game or two called.

It could happen.


The 2013 season is finally here and the Yankees have opened with a thud. The good news is that tickets will be ever so easy to get and this current crop of players will not be distracted by adoring fans either at the ballpark or out in public.

Best of all, as we have all been told, if you don't have something good to say about someone, don't say anything at all.

Given that wisdom... when does spring training 2014 begin.

Ignoring that wisdom, I shudder with embarrassment for Chad every time he comments on basketball. His latest rip on Brittany Griner earns him a scholarship to the George W. Bush School of Stupid and Honorable Mention in the Can You Say Something Dumber than Skip Bayless competition.

Indeed, Griner did not score for 24 minutes in an on-court street mugging ignored by three hapless officials who are unlikely to be allowed to work  at that level for some time to come. Not only was Griner doubled and tripled but actually had to contend with 5 on 1 defense when she was able to touch the ball in the post. Perhaps Chad could let us all know just what moves a player should make to beat getting grabbed, held, pushed, tripped, and hacked by multiple 'defenders'.

Griner has astonished everyone with her athleticism on the court, her ability to run the court and finish, and her poise both on and off the basketball court.

Here's a local lesson for our basketball clueless.

University of Rochester senior point guard John DiBartolemeo has received the top two awards given to DIII basketball players. He has been named the Men's Player of the Year and First Team All-American. It was his second Player of the Year and fourth First Team All-American honor.

This past season he led his team in scoring (over 22 ppg), rebounding and assists. Amazing, but he too apparently has no moves. He was held to no field goals and 2 points from the free throw line in Rochester's loss to Ithaca in this year's Sweet 16. Many of us who watched that game at a packed Palestra thought it was the double and triple team beat downs he faced all night. Nope - must have been the lack of moves.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013


## Was this a harbinger of things to come? The Yanks got beat by Boston 8-2 yesterday in a game that wasn't as close as the score indicated. Down three with 2 on and 2 out - their big chance - and was Granderson up? Teixeira? Swisher? Ibanez? or even A-Rod? No, it was Youkilis, with his first big chance to show the world that the New York Yankees were still the New York Yankees. Instead, we became the Scranton-Wilkes Bare Yankees.
CC Sabathia pitched okay except for one bad inning, which in MBL, is all it takes. Joba Chamberlain showed once again why he's not a good candidate for the closer role: he has powerful pitches, but he's unable to shut down a team if he gets into trouble.
Gird your loins, Yankee fans.

## The good news is that Robinson Cano has dropped Scott Boras as his agent and signed with Jay-Z's company, Roc Nation Sports, a division of CAA. Cano is still going to get big money, so why is this good news? Jay-Z is a big Yankee fan. The Yankees had made a "significant offer" to Robbie a few weeks ago, and Cashman has not heard anything from Boras. I think this may have been one reason Cano made the change.

## Theo Epstein is pushing hard to have the Cubs upgrade Wrigley field. According to Theo, the renovation is vital to producing a competitive team and wants it done as soon as possible. There are a few problems. The cost is about $300 million, not a lot of money these days, but still impressive. There is a big problem with the neighborhood. They want no changes which will eliminate some housing and they already have a court-backed mandate that the Cubs cannot initiate construction of any kind that will block the "free" bleachers on the rooftops of neighboring buildings. This is going to become a highly emotional issue.
They do need to revamp the stadium. I was there 20 years ago and the seats were small, the aisles were narrow and there was very little room between the rows. The ushers were rude and nasty, too, but that's another story. The biggest problem is that the seats do face the right way. We sat down the left field line and our seats faced the left fielder. I had to lean forward and crane my neck to see home plate.  Not fun.

## Watched the replay of the Women's NCAA Tournament game between the heavy favorite, Baylor, and Louisville. Baylor is led by Brittany Griner who is 6 foot 8 or 6 foot 9, depending on which publicist you're listening to. Louisville beat them by beating Griner - literally. They fronted her, they double-teamed her, they triple-teamed her, they pushed her and they waved their hands in front of her face. In short, they literally beat her up. Griner was so frustrated that she hit a Louisville player in the face and got called for it.
It wasn't a nice thing to do to Griner, but Louisville did show up Griner's weakness. She has no moves. She didn't need them. She is so much larger than her opponents, that many times, she didn't even have to jump to take a shot (under the basket, of course) or grab a rebound. She couldn't work around screens and couldn't fight thru box-outs. Louisville held her scoreless for the first 24 minutes.

## Well, that didn't take long. I love college basketball because of the pageantry, the colors, the excited fans, the cheerleaders and finally the teams. Anybody can beat anybody and the coaches are excitable and fiercely loyal to their players. Except...when there is money involved. Florida Gulf Coast's coach, Andy Enfield brought this new university (only 16 years old) to the sweet sixteen. The kids played their hearts out for him. So he's returned their loyalty by accepting a job with USC. Bye Andy, thanks a lot.  

"ESPN's Jay Bilas said Harvard upset New Mexico because they gambled on waiting for their shots. Whatever risks Harvard took, you bet they were calculated."  -- RJ Currie
"Sidney Crosby is out of action indefinitely due to being hit by a puck resulting in a broken jaw. It’s not known at this time when he can return to filming his next commercial."  -- TC Chong
"Tiger and his squeeze Lindsey will represent the USA in golf and skiing at the 2016 Olympics. They will be co-habitating at the enclosed Olympic Village with the Swedish Women’s golf team and their 9 irons. What could possibly go wrong?"  -- TC Chong
"Obama also attended the Syracuse-Marquette NCAA tournament game. He came away impressed with Syracuse – he's never seen anyone with a tougher defense than the U.S. military."  -- Brad Dickson
"Tom Brady's new mansion reportedly includes a moat. It's the only way to keep Bill Belichick from dropping by at 3 in the morning to discuss that new crossing route."  -- Brad Dickson
" Red Sox 8, Yankees 2. Wonder who George Steinbrenner would have fired by now?"  -- Janice Hough
"Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o's persistent attempts to lower his middling dash times before the NFL draft: "He ran his most recent 40 on Saturday. Will let you know when he finishes."  -- Greg Cote
"Maria Sharapova lost to Serena Williams in Saturday's Sony Open final, leaving her 0-5 all-time in title matches of the Key Biscayne, Fla., tournament.But, hey, the post-match phone calls from Marv Levy are certainly nice."  -- Dwight Perry