Monday, June 29, 2009


A sweep was not unexpected with the Mets as crippled as they were. A bad weekend culminated by walking a 39-year old relief pitcher with 6 career major league at-bats in a one-run game (at the time) and the bases loaded.

***Bob Klapisch says he noticed 5 things about the Mets this weekend. I only noticed three: They can't hit, they can't pitch and they can't field.

***One reporter says that Pedro Martinez is not the answer. Pedro shouldn't even be mentioned in the question.

***The beer at Citi Field (Shea Stadium, for you purists) is cheaper than at Yankee Stadium. Good thing; the Mets fans need it more.

***Jorge Posada broke open Saturday's game with a 3-run homer. Guess you're now 2 for 2, Jamie. (I'm not even going to mention Rivera's 500th save.) (Well, yes, I am)

***Up to this weekend, there had been only 2 opposite field homers hit at Citi Field, none by the Mets. The Yanks had three in the first two games.

How long will the Cubs front office let the spoiled brats go unchecked? Zambrano, Bradley and even Piniella need to grow up, control themselves and win some games.

When are the Phillies going to realize that, as bad as the Mets are, you're asking for trouble by letting them stay in the pennant race (Currently only 2 1/2 games out)?

Why is Manny being allowed to "rehab" in the minors? Wouldn't you think the suspension would include the minors? Mr. Selig? Hello? Are you there?

When will Ozzie Guillen learn to think before he talks? When asked why the attendance doubled from the Dodgers game to the Cubs game, Ozzie said, "Because our fans are not stupid like the Cubs fans. They know we stink." He also said that fans will watch anything at Wrigley Field because, "...Wrigley is just a bar." Attaboy, Ozzie. Ever thought of running for office?

And last, but not least:
How did Picasner watch the Yanks last night with Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips in the booth, and not put his foot through the screen? (Answer, the mute button) Talk about the blind leading the stupid: Jeter on 2nd, Swisher on 1st and no outs when Teixeira flies out to Center. Jeter tagged and went to third and Swisher snuck into 2nd. The two geniuses RAVED about Swishers "smart, smart baserunning." Except, Picasner says, "Now 1st base is open and they'll walk A-Rod. He just took the bat out of the hands of the Yanks hottest hitter." Sure enough, that's what happened and Cano hits into a double play. Shouldn't those two clowns be demonstrating Amway products someplace?

Saturday, June 27, 2009


They started the season with high hopes...and a different roster. They've lost their shortstop, centerfielder, 1st baseman, the heart of their bullpen and their confidence. The biggest cheers last night were for Castillo when he caught two pop-ups in a row. As often happens, when things are going bad, nothing goes right. It seemed that every Yankee bloop hit found a hole. A simple ground ball to first was handled like a hand grenade. A potential DP grounder was thrown into the right field corner. Every ball the Mets hit hard went into the glove of a Yankee. If it wasn't for Sheffield's homer, Sabbathia might have pitched a complete game 2-hit shutout. Very sad.

They look a lot different from a week ago. A-Rod has awakened from a three week nap, two centerfielders are making it impossible for Girardi to pick one and Mariano looks completely dominating, in spite of what one "fan" described to Picasner as "an over-the-hill has-been, worth nothing."
Hang your head, Jamie.
The stadium radar gun had Sabbathia throwing at 96, 97 and 98 MPH, while YES network had him up to 99. Sorry, I don't believe it. None of the Mets looked like they were way behind the pitches, just confused as to location. Well, if that's the biggest problem Picasner has...

Reports are that Nady needs Tommy John surgery on his bad elbow. Normally, this has a 12-14 month recovery time. We might not ever see him in pinstripes again.

After flying out in the 6th inning of a Cubs game, Bradley took on a water cooler, losing by a decision, followed by a TKO at the hands of manager Lou Piniella. Lou says he's been watching this go on for a while and he's sick of these tantrums. "Let he who is without sin...," Lou.

The Yanks struggle, Cashman shows up, the Yanks go on a tear. Coincidence or is the spector of King George still hanging heavy? We'll keep you posted.

Buster Olney, normally an astute analyst, not over-reacting to situations, jumped the gun this week by suggesting that A-Rod was all done. He reasoned that between an unresolved hip problem, and reaction to coming off PEDs, that we have seen the end of the dominating play of A-Rod. He cites other scouts, who claim A-Rod is playing like an old man, can't run anymore and has a greatly reduced range at third. He hasn't looked like that the last two games. We'll see.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


The announcers, the ballplayers, the crowd, even Annie-O knew what to expect when Girardi ran out to argue a horrible call by 1st base umpire, Bill Welkie. I didn't have to hear the actual conversation to know what was said: "Listen, Bill, I've got to shake my team up. Can you please throw me out? By the way, you missed that call." "Sure thing, Joe. You're outta here." Welkie even looked bored throwing him out. At least Girardi was animated...well, as animated as Girardi ever gets. A-Rod finally got a big hit. Rivera better start hitting or else. He's now 0-5 in his career.

No, it had nothing to do with Youklis' facial hair. National's hitter, Elijah Dukes sent a ground ball AND a javelin towards Sox shortstop Nick Green. Green managed to avoid both projectiles but the sight of a splintered bat stuck in the outfield scared everybody. Everybody except Terry Francona, that is. "...I wanted him to make the play," he said. Then more seriously, "Get out of the way, make the catch and make the play." Gee thanks, Terry.

What for? He doesn't run in the majors.

***A RIFT? CAN'T BE***
Gary Sheffield has been suffering from a couple of different leg ailments. The Mets would like him to get an MRI, but Sheff thinks not. There has also been talk of the DL, but again, Sheff says no. "Not gonna happen," he said. "I'll go home first." Sorry to break this news to Vod, but there it is.


The Oakland As honored their 1989 World Series winning team Tuesday night. Mark McGwire declined to attend, although he was offered a chance to throw out the first syringe.

The U.S. Soccer team upset the top-ranked Spanish team. The last time something this embarrassing happened to Spain, the Armada was involved.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Yes, the Marlins manager did screw up and misuse his players, but will a protest help? If the protest is upheld, they replay the game from the time of the mistake which means the Yanks would still be three runs down with 2 innings to go. Since the Yanks & Marlins don't play each other again until the next millennium, when would they replay those two innings? Don't hold your breath, Girardi.

Martinez would like all (?) those scouts to give him another look. He says he's got his fastball up from 84 mph to 85 mph. Um, we'll pass, Pedro.

Now they've lost Carlos Beltran to the DL, joining Reyes and DelGado. Manuel is rumored to be looking into disguises for David Wright, to see if he can get him eight or nine at bats in a game. Jerry, you might want to talk to Freddi Gonzales, the Marlins manager. He has some insight into player manipulation.


In this commercial age, many people think Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day are basically sponsored by Hallmark. Father’s Day, however, is still sponsored by the NBA.

An 103 year old man, believed to be the oldest living professional baseball player, threw out the first pitch last weekend at a Padres game. The man said it was the biggest thrill he has had in baseball – well, since he hit his first home run against Jamie Moyer. (Vod's favorite player)

“Tom Brady’s supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen is expecting a baby. Either that or she ate a grape.”

We better find a way to win tonight even though we have Wang-Hughes pitching.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Usually the AL dominates the NL in inter-league play, especially the Yankees. As Inspector Clouseau would say, "Not any more." These young, unknown (to us AL-ers) pitchers have completely dominated the 'vaunted' Yankee lineup.

You have to feel sorry for AJ Burnett, who seems to get matched up against the oppositions ace of the staff. He's been the most dominating pitcher the Yanks have lately, and has a 2-3 record in his last 5 starts.

This from

In two weeks, Manny Ramirez’s drug suspension will be over. He assures the Dodgers he will return as a good teammate with a great attitude, especially as he no longer suffers from PMS.

Kerry Wood, now pitching for the Cleveland Indians, blew his second save in as many days at Wrigley Field, So much for all those naysayers who thought Wood would never again be of any use to the Cubs.

The wrecking ball used to demolish New York’s Shea stadium is for sale on Ebay. Apparently the highest bidders are a coalition of pitchers who want to use the ball on the new Yankee Stadium.

The U.S. Open was postponed until Friday due to rain pooling on the greens. Apparently officials felt it would be unfair, as most players, unlike Tiger, can’t walk on water.

That's all for now.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


A few years ago, Torre pitched Scott Proctor so much, his right arm was 4 inches longer than his left. Now, it seems he's running roughshod over the Dodger bullpen. This from Buster Olney:

During Joe Torre's last seven seasons with the Yankees, he left in his wake a bunch of right-handed relievers who were broken down from pitching a whole lot of innings -- Steve Karsay, Paul Quantrill, Tom Gordon, Tanyon Sturtze, Scott Proctor, etc. The Dodgers have an enormous lead in the NL West, and that's a good thing, because L.A.'s middle relief corps is racking up huge numbers of innings and appearances.
Two of the top six leaders in innings pitched
belong to the Dodgers, Ramon Troncoso and Ronald Belisario; combined, they are on pace to throw almost 200 innings. It will be interesting to see how the L.A. bullpen holds up down the stretch; GM Ned Colletti is said by others to be searching for pitching.

Their top four relievers are on a pace to average 86+ innings apiece. Should be interesting to see who begs to be traded first.

A number of teams sent scouts to watch Pedro throw this week and all of them came away unimpressed. The consensus is that unless he's willing to sign for the minimum (with incentives built in) and go to the minors and work his way up, he's going to be walking around free for a while. In fact, some clubs are upset because Pedro's camp has been hinting that teams are "flocking" to see him pitch. Apparently it's been more like a side-show than a scouting expedition.

His doctor wasn't surprised at the way he's playing. He expected the A-rod would have had 5-8 games off by now. Hitting coach Long says his balance is off and he may be subconsciously favoring his hip. Everybody's got a theory. All I know is, we can't live with a clean-up hitter batting .214.

They have been talking about having a 6-man rotation when Smoltz comes back, but that's out the window. Matsuzaka is obviously pitching hurt. Can you say WBC? I knew that you could.

Is there a sillier name for a ballpark than Land Shark Stadium? I keep thinking, "Chevy Chase"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Tyler Kepner, having no real knowledge of baseball, always has the time to come up with some statistic that proves whatever point he decides to make that day. Picasner had already read the article which Vod was kind enough to include here. As you might have guessed, Picasner disagreed with Tyler or he would have mentioned him in the previous post. I would have ignored this completely, but I saw that it was from the NEW YORK TIMES, which Vod holds in high esteem. So, out of respect and admiration for Mr. Kanockers, I respectfully dispute Tyler Kepner's diagnosis.

Posada is not back of the plate for his defense, just as Molina is not there for his offense. While his skills have eroded ("you can say that again - Annie-O"), he is still serviceable, and disagreeing with the way he calls a game, does NOT keep pitchers from throwing the ball over the plate. Besides, other teams call all the pitches from the dugout. The Yanks could do that if Posada is really that bad.

Sammy Sosa is the 2nd player disclosed as having failed the "secret" drug test of 2001. Two points here: #1 - If you can discover two names, why not all of them? #2 - All this is doing is making everyone suspect. At least we can keep Selena Roberts busy. Maybe this book will sell more than 10 copies.

The Emperor (The King) Has No Clothes

A note to our growing legion of readers… now at five and counting!

While we know our beloved Picasner has never let facts get in the way of often overblown opinion, risking the wrath of his always defensive, mean-spirited backlash to any challenge, I offer the following, including the source that so frequently eludes our pontificating defender of Steinbrenner, Corp. - Vod

Catchers May Have Hand in Yanks’ Pitching Problems

Tyler Kepner - NY Times June 15, 2009

“It’s great to have Alex back,” Derek Jeter said a week ago, “but I don’t care who you have in your lineup, if you don’t pitch, you don’t win.”

On the whole, the Yankees have lived dangerously. Their staff earned run average is 4.84. Only three teams have a higher E.R.A., and they all started Monday in last place in their divisions: the Cleveland Indians, the Baltimore Orioles and the Washington Nationals.

One unsettling fact for the Yankees is the difference when Jorge Posada catches. With Posada behind the plate, the Yankees’ pitchers have a 6.31 E.R.A. The combined E.R.A. with Francisco Cervelli, Jose Molina and Kevin Cash is 3.81. Posada has caught four starts by Chien-Ming Wang, whose job status is now evaluated on a game-by-game basis. Even removing those starts, the staff’s E.R.A. with Posada is still high, at 5.47.

Posada, 37, has handled many exceptional pitchers in his career. Although some, like Randy Johnson and Mike Mussina, have preferred other catchers, Posada does not have to apologize for his résumé. Posada takes his job seriously and is an emotional engine of the team. Yet Burnett, in particular, seems to struggle with him. In Burnett’s four starts pitching to Posada, opponents have batted .330. In nine starts with the other catchers, the average is .223. When he lost a six-run lead in Boston in April, Burnett questioned the pitch selection, though he blamed himself, not Posada. Asked Sunday about the difference in pitching to the rookie Cervelli, Burnett gave a careful but revealing answer.

“I think it’s just a matter of — I don’t know if it’s the catcher — but we threw curveballs in fastball counts, we had them looking for something and they had no idea what was coming,” Burnett said. “That’s huge.”

Girardi (God help us) is the one who must match the catchers to the pitchers and make the juggling work. The fate of the pitching staff and, by extension, the season, might depend on it.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Actually, it's a lot of questions.
Wang has had 2 near-Cy Young quality seasons, so he's earned a chance to find himself. The question is, how long will it take? When he finds himself, the Yanks may have already found third place.
What is "match-up"? Bring in a lefty to face this guy, then bring in a righty to face that guy, etc.? It's micro-managing and makes your staff think you don't have confidence in them (which you don't). If you're a major league pitcher and you can't get both lefties and righties out, well, Scranton is a nice town.
Can anyone throw strikes? Throw it over the plate. If they hit it, well, you already know about Scranton.
In stead of counting pitches, watch the game, Girardi. Why is Sabathia the only one allowed to exceed 100 pitches? Let them go. When you go out to change pitchers, you can help him carry his arm back to the dugout.
Joba, when Jorge puts down a sign, that's what you throw. This isn't an election; there is no voting. This is a monarchy and Posada is the king.

Interesting quote in the NY papers Sunday. Johnny Damon said, "This team was built for Yankee Stadium." Wonderful. What good does it do you to go 81-0 at home, if you go 0-81 on the road?

In the field AND on the base paths. ...and always with that little smirk on his face. Perhaps we should lighten up on the 'happy pills' before the game, Nick.

Three games against the Washington Nats. Just stay with them, guys, until the Nationals can figure out a way to beat themselves.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Tantrum Time

How is it that Chamberlain and Posada can go deep into a pitch count with constant shake-offs and meetings at he mound? Who is in charge here? Clearly, it was neither of the players involved. They looked no better than two petulant children. Throw what I call. No, I'll throw what I want. No. Throw what I call. No. No. I'll throw what I want to throw.

Given that, what was the role of the manager and pitching coach in the fiasco? Looking at the results, their most active response was to tsk, tsk on the bench. Just what the Corp. needs, an enabling mommy and daddy. Guess which one is the mommy.

Scoring 15 runs can cover up a lot of problems but the Steinbrenner Corp. had better get its pitching sorted out. While everyone sees Boston up by 2 games, who has noticed that Tampa Bay is 3 games over .500 and a winner of 5 straight?

Radio Susan was pondering the size of a sell out at Yankee Stadium after attendance was announced at 48,000 and change. The answer is just over 52,000. Susan commented that it doesn't matter that the Yankees no longer sell out because everything at the new stadium is so much more expensive than the old that, even with fewer fans, Steinbrenner Corp. is raking in tons more money. Doesn't that warm your heart?

Saturday, June 13, 2009


***YANKS WIN ???***
I have never seen a "walk-off error" before. This is the kind of outrageous ending that really belongs in the Yanks-Red Sox wars. Have you all noticed that every time something really weird or outlandish happens, A-Rod is involved somehow?

The Yanks have requested that Brad Penny be suspended for hitting A-Rod. Smacked him right in the middle of the back. The Umps must have thought there was something to it, because they immediately warned both benches. Burnett throws over somebodies head, the umps say nothing, but AJ gets a 6-game suspension. Maybe the Commissioners Office will send Penny a nasty letter.

Boston owner, John Henry has "twitted" the suggestion that the Yanks 0-8 record against the Sox is because of a Mark Teixeira curse. Rumor has it that Tex was interested in going to Boston until he met Henry. Apparently, "twit" is the right word to use when referring to John Henry.

The Chicago Cubs and the Tampa Bay Rays are "looking" at Pedro Martinez and wondering how much money it would take to 'lure' him back to the majors. LURE him? Jingle the change in your pocket and he'll come talk to you. Actually, Pedro still thinks he's worth $5 - $8 million a year. C'mon Pedro. They can't tell your fastball from your changeup. In fact I think your
catcher uses the same sign for both.

Chamberlain continues to confuse us. One game he's lights-out, the next game, he sucks. Last night, he couldn't find the plate with a seeing-eye dog and a cane. He and Posada couldn't get together on anything, including where to sit on the bench. Joba should just rear back and throw whatever Jorge says.

After the first three batters got line drive hits off him, Catcher Thurm Munson went out to talk to him. "Think I should stop telling them what pitch is coming," he asked? Guidry was so mad, he struck out the next three hitters and went on to win the game.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Dear Chad,

We just got back from helping move CT to CT. It was hard leaving but as CT said, “It could have been California.” We watched the Tuesday night game at The Elbow Room in West Hartford, henceforth to be known as the WeHa. Chris’ cable wasn’t hooked up and we needed to go out for dinner after shopping and working in CT’s new place all day. Chris’ prediction that Burnet would blow up in the Boston’s series was spot on. Sadly, the same could be said for Lauirie’s dinner.

We got home late this afternoon and had tonight’s game on for most of the evening. Nothing new. Jeter’s slump continues, this is not a good base running team, Damon has no arm, Swisher has lots and lots of issues as a player in the field and on the bases, A-Rod is a current disaster in the 4 hole, Wang is a current disaster in the rotation, Hughes will be lucky if he comes out of his experience with this management team knowing his own name, walking a .198 hitter twice requires a public apology by those committing the offense, solo HRs seldom win games - need I say more?

Congratulations to the New York State Senate for providing definitive proof that we suffer the most dysfunctional state government in the republic. And I was razing CT for moving to a state that has Dodd and Lieberman as its senators. Shows me.

FYI. John Edwards, the television psychic has been awarded the Biggest Douche in the Universe prize. South Park covered the event.

The house is not yet on the market but in many ways we have already left.

To anyone else reading this, is your name Chad?

- Vod

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


As predicted, the Washington Nationals have selected San Diego State phenom, Steven Strasburg, #1 in the draft. After listening to uber-agent, Scott Boras, I'm sure there are people in the Washington front office, grasping their chests and scrambling around for nitro tablets.

Says Scott, "Strasburg is a different breed of cat, worthy of contract far above other #1 picks." While he wouldn't name a number, it's believed he will be asking in the neighborhood of $50 million. Since he can't use the "mystery team" ploy, he may use Japan as a bargaining chip

The Nationals should pass. ...but they won't.

A couple of weeks ago, Ozzie Guillen said that if Chicago brought phenom Gordon Beckham up from the minors, "...we'd be in trouble." Well, here he is and Ozzie says, "It's not my fault he's here." How's the kid doing? He started out 0-13 and got a standing ovation for a ground out. Ozzie's reaction: "Well, I hope he sells a lot of T-shirts, but I'd like a couple of hits."

Tuesday, June 09, 2009


All this talk of the 'Yankee Stadium Jet Stream' is getting annoying. Have there been a lot of homers hit there? Yes, but consider some factors. The distances are the same as the old stadium, but the Yanks have added a couple of left-handed power hitters in Teixeira and Swisher. Posada has taken up hitting the way he did 2 years ago, before he was lost for the 2008 season with injuries. Of the four homers hit last night, 3 were by left-handed hitters, the 4th by Jeter, who gets 80% of his hits (and homers) to right field anyway. These things usually even out, so let's see what it looks like in September.

Phil Rizzuto used to be accused of being a "homer" when announcing the Yankee games, but he'd look like he was playing Devil's Advocate next to the White Sox announcers. They don't announce the score, they say, "After 7 innings, we're down a run." (and it stayed that way) It's always "We," as in, "We have to get out of this inning and let our offense take over." (It didn't) I especially liked, "With his short swing, he's a good fastball hitter. A REALLY good fastball hitter. Maybe the best in the League." Sure enough, next pitch, fastball, swish, strike three. "...and, he's out." Down one run in the bottom of the 9th, one out, one on, and a batter hits a ground ball. Before the 2nd baseman even throws to first to complete the double play, "Aw, game over." Then, silence. At first it's annoying, then it becomes funny.

Texas leads the Majors in home runs, but they just lost their best hitter, Josh Hamilton, for 6 to 8 weeks with an abdominal muscle tear. That may slow them down a bit.

Thursday, June 04, 2009


I just love it when League Officials make decisions that have nothing to do with logic, reason or fair play. AJ Burnett gets suspended for 6 games for throwing AT a hitter, while Padilla gets nothing for hitting one guy twice and dusting a few others. The umps handled it fairly well although they could have ejected Padilla after the 2nd hit batsman. It almost seems like the "decision-makers" follow whatever format they want. Would the punishment been the same if Burnett hit the batter in the leg?

Was it correct to suspend Burnett? Well, okay, even if 6 games seems excessive. Why wasn't Padilla suspended too? And for a longer period? The Yanks should probably send a tape of the game to the league office. ...every day. ...for two weeks. Maybe someone will take the time to actually LOOK at it. Peter Gammons had one word to describe the suspension: "STUPID!"

This is as bad as the league over-ruling the umpires on the Gossage-Brett incident, saying that wasn't the INTENT of the rule. Maybe not, but it WAS the rule. Can we just have some kind of consistency here? I've given up on the logic, reason and fair play; the league officials seem incapable of that.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009


Girardi swapped Jeter & Damon because Jeter hit into too many double plays. Logically, that switch wasn't going to eliminate a lot of DP's, but lo & behold, both guys are flourishing in their new spots. Sometimes you can be just wrong enough to be right. Another change in Jeter, as Michael Kay pointed out, he's pulling the ball a lot more now. Maybe Jeter feels free to swing at anything rather than take a bunch of pitches to give someone a chance to steal and put himself in a hole.

If Gardner can progress enough to hit at least .280, he could be a hell of a lead-off man. We could be seeing the return of the "Aparicio Double" (i.e., a walk and a stolen base). It would be like having Ricky Henderson back, without the ego. [Note to Vod: Regarding Gardner's 'big' head, he doesn't appear to be toting a lot of extra weight. Something to do with contents of that receptacle?]

This has become Michael Kay's favorite expression of late. Picasner always thought it was an interesting idea that wasn't quite as effective as everyone said. Even if it's just a mental thing for the hitters, there seems to be enough evidence now that it is very effective (see Teixeira, Swisher, etc.). It all seems to revolve around A-Rod's presence in the lineup, but he sure doesn't look scary up there right now (Walk softly and carry an empty stick). He must be giving the catcher a list of his stats every time. Can we get him some help?

Girardi wants tough choices? Well, here's a beauty: who goes and who stays?

Isn't first place fun?

Steinbrenner Corporation Approved

Joba Chamberlain did not look like a bullpen pitcher tonight. Confident, Impressive. Everyone can figure it out from here. Just remember, you can never have too much starting pitching and tied at home, if available, Mariano pitches the 9th, Papelbon pitches the 9th… it’s the law. (The horse is now beaten to death.)

Jeter is having another nice year and doing it leading off. Does the P still believe that he also must worry about making a-roid feel more at home?

This gripping news just in from the Steinbrenner Corp. rehab facilities in Florida, and : “Left-handed reliever Damaso Marte stubbed the little toe of his left foot but was still able to play catch. “

Follow the link above for more up to the minute news from the organization that brings you the $3,000 ticket, or, click the following for a matter a bit more serious.

Go Red Wings. Up 2 – 0 in the Stanley Cup finals.

I wonder why Newt Gingrich has just informed us that Judge Sonia Sotomayor is a “Latina racist.” Was he not paying attention before her appointment to the Supreme Court or, perhaps, he thinks being a racist is fine unless you’re appointed to the Supreme Court by a President who is a Democrat ? That would explain Chief Justice John Roberts and much of the behavior of several Republican senators.

Michael Kay and Brett Gardner are going head-to-head so to speak in Big Head Day at the New House (How cheesy is that? Michael just can’t fully embrace using “The Stadium” in referring to the Palace that George Built. Change that to The Palace that George Ordered and Taxpayers Built). The first 18,000 fans, i.e. paying customer in Steinbrenner Corp-Speak, will receive the opportunity to enter the Guess the Dimensions of the Yankee’s Biggest Heads contest. There will be two grand prize winners, one for the best guestimate of the circumference of Brett Gardner’s bulbous head above the eyebrows and another for the best guess of the total volume of Michael’s enormo-noggin.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? – Steven Wright

Peace - Vod