Sunday, June 29, 2014


** Do you think...
...we watched two good pitchers go after each other night last in Yankee Stadium, or did we see two teams who couldn't hit a lick? Let's take the high road and say it was two good pitchers.

** Did you notice...
...that umpires don't move when they call a pitch a ball, benignly throw up the right hand on a strike call, but pump both hands like they're fighting off an attacker when it's strike three? I'm sure the hitters love being shown up.

** Do you still believe...
...that catchers "fool" umpires by moving the glove into the strike zone when they catch a pitch (announcers like to call it "framing") and then hold it there? I didn't see it work all night.

** Did you see...
...Tanaka pitch a beautiful game and then in the ninth with two outs, shake off McCann twice and then throw the pitch he wanted - which, unfortunately, turned out to be the same pitch Napoli wanted?  Boom! 2-1 Red Sox. 

** Do you understand... you can lose the final match in your group and still make the next round in the World Cup? It can happen in soccer.

** Did you see...
...all the pushing, shoving, elbowing, kicking, blocking, tripping and, yes, even biting that goes on in a soccer game? So you can't use your hands, big deal. New York city muggers aren't this brutal.

** How do you feel about...
.. the "Liar, liar pants on fire" theory? Before you decide, think about Luis Suarez who bit a player in a World Cup match. First he said the opponent shoved his shoulder into his mouth and then elbowed him, so Suarez immediately fell to the ground and held his head. Now he's saying,  "After the impact… I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent."  Oh, and the bite? What bite? Professional athletes do and say stupid things, but they also seem to think we're even stupider.
** Would you say the answer is...
...duh? Headline on ESPN: "Cashman looking for pitching."  Sure he is. So is everybody else. But it will have to be by the trading route, because there aren't any free agents running around and here is where the fun begins for Brian: He's in a poker game without any chips. The whole Yankee farm system has not borne any fruit of late and the few prospects they have are suspect. Your money is no help when there is nothing to buy.
** Does anybody know...
...what's happening in Miami?  The Big Three, Wade, Bosh and James, have all opted out of their contracts, just 4 short of their planned 5 or 6 championships. Are they looking for bigger money contracts? Making salary cap space so Miami can sign some other big name stars? Or are they just tired of playing with the other two guys? I'm tired of reading about it and I'm not looking forward to this summer's "Lebron: Decision #2."
** Have you noticed...
...that when hitters strike out, looking or swinging, they all stare at the pitcher as they walk back to the dugout?  What are they looking for?  A celebration? A smirk? Sympathy? Can't be anything good.

"The quarterback son of LSU coach Les Miles will not attend LSU and may be leaning toward Michigan. How embarrassed is Les Miles that he couldn’t impress this recruit’s mom?"  -- Brad Dickson
"The Marlins tied a record with their 13th consecutive interleague win. A reminder that only Guinness keeps track of more obscure records than baseball does."  -- Greg Cote
"Hey, at least the Knicks’ second pick in the second round, Thanasis Antetokounmpo, will never have to buy a vowel."  -- Mike Lupica
"The Angels’ Mike Trout belted a Jason Vargas fastball 489 feet Friday night. Well, duh: Everyone knows you can only get Trout with a hook or a sinker."  -- Dwight Perry
"Soccer fans from Japan picked up litter in their section after losing a World Cup match to Ivory Coast. Because they’re soccer fans, on their way to the garbage can they overturned six cars."  -- Brad Dickson
"When he was asked what he said to home plate umpire Quinn Wolcott  to get himself ejected, catcher A.J.  Pierzynski said, "Give me a new ball. One you can see."  -- Interview by Anthony Castrovicne os MLB.Com.
"I’m not saying I don’t like Dan Snyder’s chances of keeping the Redskins nickname, but he just got a vote of support from Donald Sterling."  -- RJ Curry
"Apparently Wimbledon is enforcing the all white clothing rule so tightly this year and some women players have had to remove their colored undergarments and go braless. Is this too much tradition, or a shameless grab for television ratings?"  -- Janice Hough
"Infield shift, graveyard shift: Yankees-Red Sox this weekend, three games in late June, are all night games, including an 8:10 Sunday job for ESPN dough. Think Bud Selig would buy tickets to a Sunday game from which he would arrive home Monday morning?"  -- Phil Mushnick



Sunday, June 22, 2014


..."I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN"  This is the USA chant that appears on ESPN very often as the American's next game approaches. A team that wasn't expected to make it out of the group play,  even the coach  assured us that his team could NOT win the cup. Yet, here they are, on the verge of winning their group, the group that has been described as "The Death Group."  Team USA will play Portugal today and will have to deal with Christiano Renaldo, considered to be the best player in the world.
ESPN's sports reporters say USA has a team with the best chance ever to make it into the 'knockout' round of the tournament, and has a decent chance to succeed.  This may be the most watched soccer game in the US ever.

## Interesting discussion in the Yankee game yesterday about what to expect from your #5 starter. Paul O'Neal says that he should get you into the 6th inning with your team still in the game, giving up no more than 3 or 4 runs. Michael Kay stated that Nuno didn't do that last time. He only lasted 3 innings and gave up 8 runs. Said Paul, "That's how you become the #6 starter."
I would hope that the Yanks have realized that Nuno is not the answer as a starter. One scout has described him as, "...the worst starter in the majors."  Is there a major trade in the works? Hope so.

##  The LA Angels have released 42 year-old Raul Ibanez.  He played for the Yanks back in 2012 and hit 19 home runs as a platoon player and added three more in the playoffs. That may have been one of the best clutch performances in Yankee history. I still don't know why they let him go. In 2013, he hit 29 home runs for Seattle. The Yanks probably could have used those.

##  This is getting annoying to me. The Yankee broadcasters - all of them - are instructing us on how to play the game instead of just announcing the game. There are usually three of them in the booth so there is absolutely no dead air. In fact, there doesn't seem to be enough time for all them to get their two cents in (Two cents? It's more like a buck and a quarter.)  They say things like, "If a pitcher walks a lot a hitters, that puts a lot of men on base and your opponents can score a lot of runs. That makes it hard to win a game." As my old boss used to say, "You discovered America!"  I can't believe the YES network are paying these guys to air this nonsense.  It's like three guys sitting in a bar, watching a game and sharing a pitcher of beer. Maybe if I had a pitcher of beer, this would be easier to take.

## Hope Solo, goal keeper on the USA Woman's soccer team has been arrested and held without bail for "domestic violence."  Between that and watching  Abby Wambach get shoved, kicked, elbowed and tackled, then get up and head butt a ball into the net, you might want to change your views about those 'sensitive and delicate' women players.

So, the Yankee Old-Timers game, Masahiro Tanaka going after win #12 and USA soccer - throw in a couple of hots and some potato salad and THAT'S what I call a Sunday afternoon.

"Wiser, more mature LeBron announces 2014 ‘Decision’ special will be just 30 minutes."  --
"ESPN is reporting record ratings for the World Cup. No wonder, the NBA, NHL and NFL are dark and the only competition for TV viewership is an 11 year old girl playing golf."  -- TC Chong
"An American Legion baseball game in Juneau, Alaska, was briefly interrupted because a bear was roaming along the outfield fence. It nearly became the first game called on account of game."  -- Dwight Perry
"Boxing champ Floyd Mayweather said that a half-dressed woman is asking to be disrespected. This from a guy who wears only shorts to work.”  -- Conan O'brien
"Lucy Li, 11, played in the U.S. Women’s Open. On the seventh hole, she was seen walking into a sand trap carrying a pail and little shovel."  -- Brad Dickson
"Manny Ramirez is about to start as player-coach Chicago Cubs’ AAA affiliate in Iowa. For all those who thought Cubs fans potentially could never see anything more embarrassing than their team’s play on the field..."  -- Janice Hough
"According to TSN, the Edmonton Oilers need shoring up through the middle and on the back end. Which, according to my wife, is exactly what I need"  -- RJ Currie
"Shortly after the conclusion of the College World Series, a home run derby will be held at TD Ameritrade Park. Holding a home run derby at TDA is akin to holding an America's Cup in the Sahara Desert."  -- Brad Dickson


Wednesday, June 18, 2014


On the road again...
Boston just announced that they have designated Grady Sizemore for assignment, while in New York, Scott Sizemore has bounced between Scranton and NY a few times this year and currently is in the minors. Grady had some good years in Cleveland until he suffered a series of injuries, but now, at age 31, Grady is unemployed. Scott is two years younger, and while versatile, he is not the hitter that Grady was. Contrary to what you might think, they are not related.

You do the math.
ESPN offers a myriad of stats to inform and also to confuse the readers. Most of them don't really mean anything, such as this little gem. When they list the standings, they include a stat showing the chances a team has of making the playoffs, based on their current standing. Yesterday, the Yankees were 3 games over .500, and were in 2nd place in the AL East, yet ESPN figured 9 other teams had a better chance of making the playoffs, including the Minnesota   Twins, who were in last place in the AL Central, 5 games UNDER .500.

Who's the scariest hitter in baseball right now?
It looks to be the Angels Mike Trout, who's on a pace to hit 40 home runs, knock in 125 runs and bat over .300. He also plays centerfield as though he has advance notice of where the ball is going to be hit. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he hits in front of Albert Pujols and Josh Hamilton. 

It doesn't seem fair.
Masahiro Tanaka said he didn't have his best stuff last night. but Toronto managed only 5 hits while striking out 10 times in 6 innings. The Blue Jays did get Tanaka's pitch count up, so he was gone by the 7th inning. They were relieved until they saw Dellin Betances walk in from the bullpen. Tanaka may have been hard to hit, but it looked like the Blue Jay hitters didn't even want to get in the batter's box. Betances struck out Bautista and Encarnacion, Toronto's 3 and 4 hitters. They showed them in the dugout talking afterwards and it would have been interesting to hear that conversation. "Did you see any of the pitches?" "No. did you?" "Nope."

The Tigers have a problem.
One day after the KC Royals touched up Justin Verlander for 7 runs, Max Scherzer gave up 10 runs to the red-hot Royals. In spite of the powerful Tiger lineup, They are now in 2nd place behind KC. You can't count on scoring in double figures every game, which may be necessary considering the state of Detroit's pitching staff.

A sad story.
Our condolences go out to the family of Tony Gwynn, a great hitter, a Hall of Famer and a wonderful human being

"The Kansas City Royals ball boy fielded a fair ball and threw it to a fan. The next day, he became the first ball boy ever optioned to Omaha."  -- Brad Dickson
"Every second of every game will be on ABC, ESPN or ESPN2, plus WatchESPN or ESPN3 online, and you can even tune in to all 64 matches on your smartphone or ESPN FC app. In my home, I also can access ESPN game coverage through my microwave oven and master-bath showerhead."  -- Norman Chad
"A multimillionaire officiated the U.S.-Ghana World Cup match. He’s the only referee wielding a yellow card, a red card and a platinum American Express card."  -- Gary Bachman
"What do you get when you cross the World Cup and “The Waltons”?  Ghana defender John Boye."  -- Dwight Perry
"At Horsemen's Park in Omaha, a cashier accidentally overpaid a winning bettor by $5,957. On his way out of Horsemen's Park, the bettor broke the course record for six furlongs."  -- Brad Dickson
"Miss Nevada — a black belt in Taekwondo — won the Miss USA Pageant.  Actually, she wasn’t technically the winner, but she made the winner give her the crown."  -- Conan O'Brien
"A 65-year-old former Ohio State cheerleader has been ordered to stop doing cartwheels and the splits at Phoenix council meetings. You try putting a punchline on that"  -- RJ Currie
" On former North Carolina college basketball star  Rashad McCants   claiming he made the dean’s list without ever attending a class: “’Big deal,” said some Auburn football players, “did you get paid too?"  -- TC Chong
"Well seriously,  this just sucks. R.I.P Tony Gwynn.  54 years old. One of my favorite all-time players. If there are baseball teams in heaven one of their team batting averages is about to go up."  -- Janice Hough

"In the match vs. Ghana, the U.S. team scored 29 seconds in. I missed it. Normally when I watch soccer, I have time to cook a turkey and not miss any scoring."  -- Brad Dickson


Thursday, June 12, 2014


Bah, Humbug
The Texas Rangers are discouraging fans from doing the wave...all in fun, of course. When a "wave" starts, the Rangers post a warning to fans that unless they stop, the Rangers will turn off the air conditioning for the next game, while posting pictures of LeBron James being carried off the court with leg cramps. The threat has no teeth of course, since Texas does not have a domed stadium. A previous tactic, threatening to hand out all the free candy and soft drinks they wanted to kids, if the wave didn't stop, was also ineffective.

The best (and cheapest) marketing ploy ever.
Papa John's has promised free pizzas to customers every time the Yankees score 6 or more runs. What a great idea. The run starved Yanks haven't scored six runs since May 28th, in a 7-4 win over St. Louis, two weeks and 12 games ago. In those 12 games, the Yanks have averaged a whopping 2.7 runs per game. Bronx Bombers, indeed.

I didn't say when it would start.
Yasiel Puig issued a statement a few days ago, that he was going to change his image and begin acting in a more mature manner and follow team rules on and off the field. The very next day, he was late for batting practice. A skid of Excedrin was seen being delivered to manager Don Mattingly's office.

I'm all in.
Manny Machado, Baltimore's problem child, was suspended for five games for intentionally throwing his bat after a pitch came too close to him. Most people expected the suspension to be longer, some felt it could be as much as 10 games. Not Manny. He's appealed the punishment, hoping it would be reduced to 3 or 4 games.  What has he got to lose, it isn't as though they'll come back and say, "Oh yeah, that was supposed to be 8 games. Thanks for bringing it to our attention." Wouldn't THAT be cool?

Hughes and Chamberlain
Phil Hughes seems to be prospering in Minnesota while Joba Chamberlain is falling out of favor in Detroit. Hughes is 7-2 with an ERA of 3.17. Joba, while his numbers aren't bad (1-3, 3.29 ERA), hasn't been the shut-down reliever the Tigers hoped he'd be. The Yanks won't see Detroit until August 4th in the stadium.

"Remember College World Series fans: At Ameritrade Park, no outside food, water or drinks are permitted. Large umbrellas are banned and no beach balls are allowed. Now, get out there and have fun."  -- Brad Dickson.
"L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling changed his mind yet again — withdrawing his support for the $2 billion sale of the team to Steve Ballmer and saying he’ll proceed with a $1 billion suit against the NBA. So what does the league cite him for this time — over-and-back, or flopping?"  -- Dwight Perry
"New Knicks coach Derek Fisher has vowed to bring a “championship back to New York” because of his championship experience. Yeah, that has worked out so well for Theo Epstein in Chicago."  -- Janice Hough
"Ex-Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez claims he is in his prime right now. In a related story, the Bank of Canada says prime is at an all-time low."  -- RJ Currie
" The Wrigley Field scoreboard operator was caught asleep on camera during the fifth inning of a Cubs game. It's not exactly a first; they were playing the Mets."  -- RJ Currie

Note to all: Newspapers are getting more and more protective of their columnists. Seattle and Omaha have limits as to how many times I can access their items (Dwight Perry's & Brad Dickson's to be specific). So far, I have found ways to read them, but there are limits. I will continue to try (and I have some help, too).


Monday, June 09, 2014

" The lady doth protest too much, methinks "

Placing the Jim Brown basket weaving comments in their 1950's context certainly put Picasner's undies in a bundle.

Read the post. No suggestion was made that Picasner's comments were racially motivated, but rather his assertions that  "I don't know how it started or if it was true.." were an admission of historical empty-headedness and far from "a joke that circulated in the late 50's".

His further comment, "Cruel perhaps, and obviously untrue and meant to be a poke at at the full-time athletes, called "students," that attended major universities.", is, in part correct. The basket weaving comments were cruel. In the 1950's, however, those and other slurs were  "meant to be a poke at the full time athletes..." to the same extent that the bananas thrown at Jackie Robinson were meant to be a poke at all 2nd basemen.

I'm most confused by the statement, "The special treatment athletes got back in the 50's and extending to this day was the idea of the comment." The 'special treatment' that black athletes received in the 50's was primarily exclusion. Is there a joke there?

The University of Alabama, the fountainhead of college football, remained segregated until President John F. Kennedy deployed the National Guard to abet the enrollment of two African American students in 1963. Who can name any basket weavers that played there in the 50's? 

The University of Kentucky basketball program was still segregated in 1966 when they were defeated by Texas Western for the national championship. I wonder if UK had any basket weavers suit up? 

But, hey, this is all in good fun.

Sunday, June 08, 2014


The Yankee announcers, including the two Fox Network 'experts' from last night, keep talking about how the Yankee hitters are better than the way they're hitting now. The current phrase is, "They're not hitting like the back of their bubble gum cards." Maybe it's time for a new card. Ken Singleton says they are due to bust out. It that's true, then there's a 50-run inning coming our way.
Jeter's range at short is getting smaller and smaller. His defense now consists of two steps and a dive, then get up and take the throw from the outfield. As good a shortstop as he's supposed to be, I'd still rather have a stationary Jeter at short than Brendan Ryan.  How bad is it? The lead headline on ESPN this morning was that the Yanks drafted Mariano Rivera's son and, oh yeah, the Yanks lost.

All five AL East teams lost yesterday. Toronto's got a 5.5 game lead, but it might mean they're the first team to get on an extended hot hot streak. NY isn't scaring anybody, nor is Baltimore. Tampa can't get out of their own way and Boston? Well, they're in the middle of another streak. First they lost 10 games in a row, then they won seven in a row, now they've lost five in a row. That's a real roller-coaster ride. Yesterday, they pounded out 15 hits en-route to an 8-6 loss.

The San Diego Padres drafted Johnny Manziel. Why?

Pete Rose will manage one game for the Bridgeport Bluefish of the independent Atlantic League. Rose says he's doing it because he loves baseball...and he hasn't been in the news lately. No word yet on what he'll be charging for his autograph.

In the NHL (that's hockey, folks), the NY Rangers lost again and are trailing the LA Kings 2-0. Which means I have cousins in my hometown who are besides themselves with grief.

Are we between games or is the NBA finals over with? Okay, I'm told there is a game today between the Heat and the Spurs, followed by a network special on the condition of LeBron James' legs.

"The air conditioning went out during Game 1 of the NBA Finals. It was so hot in the arena, fans saw a miragean NBA ref appearing to call traveling."  -- Brad Dickson
"Lebron James saysI know Im the easiest target that we have in sports, Im aware of it.” And A-Rod respondedWho am I, chopped liver?"  -- Janice Hough
"Dodgers catcher AJ Ellis was put on the disabled list. He’s out with swelling in his ankle and shrinking in his batting average."  -- RJ Currie


Perhaps Vod is right. It probably wasn't a "rumor," more like a joke that circulated in the late 50's. Cruel perhaps, and obviously untrue and meant to be a poke at at the full-time athletes, called "students," that attended major universities. I am, and was, aware of the mis-treatment endured by the black students and student-athletes that went on. The joke had absolutely nothing to do with race. The fact that Jim Brown and Rashad McCants are black was not the focus of my comments. The special treatment athletes got back in the 50's and extending to this day was the idea of the comment.

Understand that while I try to comment on the sometimes ridiculous actions of sports figures in a humorous manner and I do sometimes "rant," NEVER have my comments been racially motivated. I am insulted when that is suggested. A couple of weeks ago, Vod wrote a little piece kidding me about my advanced age. I thought it was hilarious. You can poke fun at people but, you should also laugh when the finger is pointed at you. I can.

That, Vod, is what is called having a sense of humor.  I suppose if I concentrated my comments on the "self-righteous bigots in Texas," I would have been spared Vod's wrath. 


Saturday, June 07, 2014

A CPaL Correction

Back in the 1950’s there was not a rumor floating around Central New York that the great running back Jimmy Brown majored in "basket-weaving" at Syracuse University.

The basket weaving comments were, incredibly, representative of some of the least offensive racial slurs endured by black athletes at the hands of white racists of the era.

How could Jim Brown, or any black, succeed at university without meaningless courses?  From Jim Brown to Ernie Davis, black athletes at Syracuse University endured ‘basket weaver’ and worse racial slurs hurled at them from the stands of ancient Archbold Stadium and playing fields across the country - and faced segregated restaurants, hotels and other ‘public’ facilities when playing in the south.

Jim Brown did not ‘weave a basket or two’ at Syracuse, but rather succeeded academically and played at the highest level in segregated, Jim Crow America.

The blatant racism of the 50’s and the well documented academic fraud rampant throughout contemporary Division I football and basketball programs both have perpetrators and victims, and the victims in each case are the ‘student-athletes’’.

There is nothing new in McCants’ assertion of academic fraud at UNC. Many major Division I schools have or have had courses for athletes that do not require attendance and only a final paper for completion – and tutors to write them. And there is nothing new in Roy Williams’ assertion that, like Sgt. Schultz, “I know nothing!”

Joe Paterno knew nothing about pedophilia, Williams knows nothing about academic fraud and no Division I coach anywhere knows anything about the violations uncovered and penalized across the country, year after year.

No need to wonder what any diploma from UNC is worth. Not very much.


Friday, June 06, 2014


Back in the late '50's, there was a rumor floating around Central New York, that the great running back Jimmy Brown majored in "basket-weaving" at Syracuse University. I don't know how it started or if it was true - probably not - but it might have been a harbinger of things to come.
Now, former UNC & Minnesota Timberwolves basketball player, Rashad McCants, has made claims of academic fraud while he attended the Tar Heels basketball team. I didn't say he attended the Univ. of North Carolina, because if what he claims is true, he DIDN'T go to school. McCants says he hardly ever went to class and when he did, he didn't fare well. In fact, he says he made Dean's List one semester when he received (not earned) As  in four subjects for which he NEVER attended classes. He also said that tutors wrote some of his term papers and that coach Roy Williams knew all about it. I wonder what that diploma is worth.
At least Jimmy Brown probably knew how to weave a basket or two.

** Goodbye to Don Zimmer
Zimmer had probably been involved in professional baseball longer than anyone else in the history of the game. He played for, coached or managed more teams than I could list here. Most of the people he dealt with have stories about him, more than Casey Stengel or Yogi Berra. My recollections of him started with him managing the Boston Red Sox in the "Bucky Dent Playoff Game," and continued to his wrestling match with Pedro Martinez. He was pilloried for the playoff game loss and revered by Yankee fans for his unsuccessful attempt to punish Pedro. His energy level was unbelievable, he never stopped moving. In fact, Joe Torre once said that the best way to get a young player in shape was to have him follow Zimmer around all day. No one in baseball will forget him.

**Better living through chemistry
Not PEDs in this case, but the ability of teammates to merge into a cohesive force, In spite of all the high-priced stars they have, Don Mattingly says his Dodger team doesn't have it. The team seems to have been put together based on bubble gum cards, not with a team roster in mind. Their shortstop, Hanley Ramirez, supposedly is a worse Shortstop than Derek Jeter, if you can believe defensive metrics, whatever they are. They have four outfielders who all think they should be everyday players and none of them are true centerfielders. And they are all vocal about wanting to play and they are all highly paid. If Mattingly can pull this together, he deserves to be manager of the year.

**Where have all the hitters gone?
The Yanks spent the winter (and I do mean spend)  repairing their run-scoring woes from 2013 by signing Carlos Beltran, Jacoby Ellsbury and Brian McCann. Teaming them up with Alphonso Soriano and Mark Teixeira should have meant a big upsurge in runs scored from last season. Instead, they have scored the EXACT same number of runs after 59 games as last year. Exactly. And they did it by winning 4 less games than last year. Everybody is slumping. The best hitter on the team is Ichiro Suzuki, and he only plays part time. Yes I know, they lost 60% of their starting rotation and Robertson is not Mariano Rivera (who is?), but still, when the crowd roars over a 2-run rally, something ain't right.  I guess I should only watch when Masahiro Tanaka pitches - or Dellin Betances.

**In case you hadn't heard...
...but I don't know how you couldn't have. LeBron James had to come out of last night's playoff game against the Spurs because of leg cramps. They occurred because the air conditioning failed and the temperature in the arena rose to 100+ degrees. You'd swear that absolutely nothing else happened in sports that day because that's all ESPN wanted to talk about. There was the story of the actual contest, a story about the A/C, a story specifically about James, plus one from the NBA standpoint, one from the president of the Spurs, and on and on and on.
Oh yeah, I forgot. The Spurs won.

"Golfer John Daly estimated he has lost $55 million gambling. After giving that some thought, he immediately wagered $10,000 on the ‘over.’"  -- Greg Cote 
"The most amazing streak in baseball history was:  a) Cal Ripken’s 2,632 consecutive games played (1982-98)  b) Joe DiMaggio’s 56 consecutive games with a hit (1941)  c) Haray Caray’s 288 consecutive days/nights visiting a bar (1972)"  -- Dwight Perry
"An 89-year-old woman wielded a golf club to fend off a convenience-store robber in Moses Lake. Otherwise known as the ‘Elin Nordegren maneuver.’"  -- Brad Rock 
"Following Super Bowl XLIX, the following year will be marketed as Super Bowl 50, using standard numerals. Why did it take them XVIII weeks to come up with this change?"  -- TC Chong
"Los Angeles Dodgers manager Don Mattingly recently told the media, "We're just not that good." I'm not sure what Mattingly plans to do when he leaves baseball, but we can rule out motivational speaking."  -- Brad Dickson
"Go figure. Hockey-mad Canada has the best team in the AL East, and baseball-mad New York has the best NHL team in the East. Wonder how many Torontonians can name three Blue Jays and how many New Yorkers can name three Rangers."  -- Janice Hough
"Archaeologists in Israel have uncovered some 3,000-year-old jewelry.  Most notable find thus far: Tim Duncan’s first NBA championship ring."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Cleveland Indians have just swept a three game series from the defending champion Red Sox. Former Boston manager Terry Francona, who is now with the Indians, brought beer and fried chicken to the Cleveland post game celebration."  -- TC Chong
  -- It ain't sports, but...
"Friday is National Doughnut Day, and there are two beer fests and a wine festival in Omaha this weekend. I got a little nauseous just typing that sentence."  -- Brad Dickson


Sunday, June 01, 2014


**The chicken or the egg?
An ESPN columnist recently wrote an article showing that the reason the Toronto Blue Jays were in first place was because of the statistics that he proceeded to list. None of them were earth-shattering, just the usual -  best hitting pct, best era, best defense, etc. I would certainly expect that if their statistics were that good, they should be in first place. Seems like stating the obvious to me. However, he's paid to write, so maybe it's just sour grapes on my part.

**Don't you have something better to do?
The MLB drug testers were in the Yankee clubhouse recently for a random testing of players. Of all the possible choices, who do they pick? Ichiro Suzuki! Good choice. I wonder what they found - an extremely high level of sushi? Too much Geritol? Who's next? The batboy?

**How can we waste more money?
Last week, all  the teams wore uniforms highlighted with camouflage, the filler inside the letters and numbers. This was to honor our servicemen on Memorial Day. Nice gesture, but why spend all that money on uniforms and caps that they're only going to wear once (maybe twice if they're used on the Fourth of July). I'm not against honoring our servicemen, on the contrary, I'm all for it. Why not take the money spent on special uniforms and donate to the Veterans Fund for the medical care of wounded veterans? I'm sure they would appreciate it much more.

**RULE 66
In case you don't know what that is, it's the LA Dodgers marketing ploy for the Dodgers #66, Yasiel Puig.  He may be the best fielding right fielder baseball has seen in some time and he throws like he has a rifle attached to his shoulder, he runs like a horde of zombies are catching up and he hits for an average with power. But... he often plays like he has no idea of the score or even which team he's on. He runs into outs on the bases that leave veteran players shaking their heads and biting their tongues. As for manager Don Mattingly, well, as Jonathon Winters once said, "He doesn't know whether to wave or salute."  But he's exciting.

**I love you, man.
If the NBA semi-finals proved one thing, there are different ways to be entertaining. It seems that the Indiana Pacers Lance Stephanson has found most of them and added a special one of his own. Between scoring points and playing defense, he thought it would help the team by getting inside LeBron James' head. He tried to bully him, foul him, nudge him, get up in his face and even tried a flagrant foul or two. None of it worked. It was so bad that Pacer president Larry Bird told him to "grow up." He didn't. Then while standing next to James, he actually blew in his ear. James ignored his antics, scored 25 points and sent the Pacers home for the year. Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press tells it better:

**The worthless stat.
Yeah, I know this could go anywhere, but one problem is the announcers trying to give us the most current information on a player. Usually, it's something about how good a hitter does against a particular pitcher, as in: "He hits him pretty good - he's 3 for 8 against him."  The sample size is so small, that by going 0-3 he could lower his average by over 100 points. Then there is this: "McCann has a 5-game hitting streak."  Yes, he does, but all the hits came with two outs with no one on base. At the same time, he's come to bat with men on base and done nothing. To paraphrase Charlie Brown, Tell your hitting streak to shut up.

**Pitching or hitting
There appears to be two trains of thought regarding  a potential acquisition for the Yankees after the amateur draft. Some say they should sign free agent Kendrys Morales, who would bring a big bat but no glove. He's best as a DH, but the Yanks seem to have 8 of them already.  The other thought is to trade for a starter such as Jeff Samardzija or David Price. I doubt that Tampa would trade Price to NY, but the Cubs are open to a trade. Problem with Samardzija is that he would cost the Yankees some of their prize prospects. At least they won't have to figure out how to fit his name on the jersey.
Personally, I say grab them both. It's not my money.

**More entertainment
Tampa Bay and the Boston Red Sox have mixed in some baseball around a beanball war and bench-clearing brawls. The result: Boston won the game but lost the war. An almost perfect result for a Yankee fan. 
People who prefer the National League style of play often cite the 'double switch' managers use when they change pitchers, which keeps pitchers from having to hit. This results in box scores that include up to 20 players in one game. We American Leaguers have that beat. How many times has a National League team used 4 managers in one game? Boston just did that. In fact, I think a secretary from Boston's steno pool managed the last two innings.

"The Rice Owls landed quarterback J.T. Granato after sending a recruiting letter to Granatos cat. I think I realized why Rice isnt a college football power."  -- Brad Dickson
" How tough has it gotten in the NBA playoffs between LeBron James of the Heat and Lance Stephenson of the Pacers? In Game 5 they came to blows."  -- RJ Currie
"Boston Red Sox are undefeated when using four managers."  -- Janice Hough
"Golfer John Daly claiming $55 million in gambling losses between 1991 and 2007: “Apparently he lost most of it betting on himself to win. -- Jim Barach
"In case you missed it, a frog named Green Cough sprang 19 feet 8 inches to win this year’s Calaveras County Frog-Jumping Contest. Which shocked most insiders, considering he went only 17-6 at last month’s Frog Combine."  -- Dwight Perry
"Theres talk that the Raiders may leave Oakland. I believe this is part of the mayors plan to reduce crime."  -- Brad Dickson
" So Donald Sterling ismentally incapacitated?” Maybe not so much if he managed to get $2 billion for the L.A. Clippers?"  -- Janice Hough
"80 yr old CBC broadcasting legend Bob Cole may retire after the LA/Chi playoff series. He turns 81 in June. If he does decide to return next year, the CBC will have him listed as “day to day”.  -- TC Chong
"Safety T.J. Ward, among the Broncos’ big offseason acquisitions, has been charged with throwing a beer mug at a strip-club bartender. Club officials should’ve seen red flags the moment he asked for his entire $23 million in $1 bills. -- Dwight Perry