Sunday, August 28, 2016


What's in a name?
Once again, baseball has let money win out over tradition and loyalty to the fans. The Chicago White Sox, once the home team at Comiskey Park has sold the name of their stadium to the highest bidder. Now they play their home games at legendary Guaranteed Rate Stadium. I don't know if it will help the team win games, but it sounds like you may be able to buy insurance or cash your paycheck there. 
Why aren't I used to this by now? There is already Enron Field in Houston, home of the oil barons, who will probably go there to conduct some "bidness."  Enron Corp. paid $100 million for the naming rights in 2000 for a 30-year term, then promptly went bankrupt in 2001. They're gone but the Astros are stuck with the name.
How about Coliseum in Oakland. All those brilliant millionaires on the coast and all they could come up with is one letter? I would have been happier with at least
I'd like to go to a game at PNC Field but I don't know if I'd end up in Scranton or Pittsburgh.
There's just no romance in most of the stadium names any more. Too many are names after products or companies. Chase Field, Progressive Field, Coors field, Petco Park, Safeco Field, Tropicana Field, Miller Stadium, Target Field, Citizen Bank Park and the ever popular Citi Field. 
How many of you can name the cities that at least seven of these are in? Seven is about all I can name.

Kaepernick sits while citizens stand.
He says he sat because he couldn't honor a country that treated blacks and other minorities so badly. I'll take a stand on this, no pun intended. I respect your right to your beliefs but remember this is the country that allows you to make over $23 million in your career so far. If you don't like our country then leave. I respect your opinions so please respect mine. Lobby for change but respect the country that has given you so much. The team you play for, the San Francisco 49ers think what you did is okay, so shame on them, too.

Bryce Harper doesn't know when to be quiet.   
Once again, in the 9th inning of a tie game, he blew up at the umpire for missing the call on what Harper thought was a ball. Replay shows he was right, barely. So he gets tossed and his team loses in 11 innings. He took himself out when his team needed him the most. I'm no great advocate of umpires, but he's got to grow up and understand that the game comes first. 
Umpires lose control, too. In Detroit last night, home plate umpire Mike Everitt gave the old heave-ho to four, count em' four, Tigers over his calls behind the plate. Two players, Victor Martinez and J.D. Martinez were ejected for arguing balls & strikes, as was hitting coach Wally Joiner. Manager Brad Ausmus was booted for...I don't know, maybe knowing Wally Joiner. This was almost as bad as the time I saw umpire Augie Guillelmi clear a whole dugout in a game in Syracuse, NY.  Augie was funnier.

The Sports Reporters. Ghostbuster Edition 
That's how moderator Janelle described this morning's panel, which featured four women for the first time. All good choices as they were all very knowledgeable and articulate. 
I do have one observation. The first topic was the Colin Kaepernick event and Janelle asked the panel what they thought of his actions and none of them really took a stand on it, they all described how they thought other people would react. Interesting but they all dodged taking a stand.
Some jilted Rams fans won’t be crying in their beer this season.
Hotshots Sports Bar & Grill, with 10 locations in Missouri, plans to lampoon the NFL team’s move from St. Louis to L.A. by lowering the price of domestic draft pitchers on game days by $1 for each TD scored against the Rams. (From Sideline Chatter by Dwight Perry)

The San-chise?
This is the nickname that Yankee Radio announcer John Sterling has given to the Yankees newest phe-nom, Gary Sanchez. I don't like the nickname but I sure do like the player. No one in the majors, maybe all of baseball, has been hotter in the last three weeks. Just when you think he's got to cool off, he blasts another one into the stands, 11 in all so far.  Even more impressive has been his play behind the plate. His bat may cool off, but I don't think his glove or his arm ever will.  Maybe Sterling is right.

A personal note
A very warm thank you to my wife, my traveling companion, my editor and mother to my children for 50 years of marriage. I don't know how she's managed to last but I know I never want to be without her around. When people ask how we did it, I tell them the answer is simple: We've always been able to make each other laugh...always. It's worked for the 50+ years we've known each other and I see no end to it.
Thanks, Annie.

"The final Olympic tally: The U.S. brought home 46 gold medals, 37 silver and four idiots."  -- Seth Meyers
" The Oakland Raiders have filed to trademark the name “Las Vegas Raiders.” If they move will the team’s new motto be “Against all odds?”  -- Janice Hough
"Usain Bolt won his third straight Olympic gold medal in the 100 meters. My favorite point was at the 70-meter mark when he passed Secretariat."  -- Brad Dickson

"Nike has announced it will be exiting the golf club business. Elin Nordegren has ordered some extra 9 irons before they cease production."  -- TC Chong
"Astronaut Jeff Williams spent  521 days in space beating the previous record held by Dennis Rodman."  -- Jim Barach
"Bruce Springsteen just played possibly his longest U.S. gig at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. — nearly four hours. In other words, they scheduled a concert, and a Yankees-Red Sox game broke out."  -- Dwight Perry
"US Cellular Field, the home of the Chicago White Sox have just sold the naming rights to “Guaranteed Rate” for the next 7 years. This is not to be confused with Wrigley Field which has been known as the home of “Guaranteed Losers” since 1908."  -- TC Chong
"Ryan Lochte might join the cast of “Dancing with the Stars. Wow, I knew he was in legal trouble, but I didn’t know we were already at the sentencing phase."  -- Seth Meyers
"The Twins-Astros game in Minneapolis was rained out on Umbrella Night. The Twins’ new Director of Irony called it “The greatest night in sports history.”"  -- Brad Dickson
"Tony Romo  has a broken bone in his back. So it will be at least until midseason before he can return to disappoint  Cowboy fans."  -- Janice Hough


Sunday, August 21, 2016


Here we go again. 
Ryan Lochte has fallen into the professional athlete pit of lying about some aspect of their personal life. Nobody but the perpetrators - Ryan and three cohorts - really know exactly what went on that fateful night in Rio, but we know now it wasn't what the boys first reported. There are some people who say that it was no big deal, that no one was hurt or that it was just a boyish prank. Bull roar. 31-year old MEN do not commit boyish pranks. Whether you agree or not about the severity of the "prank," what is terribly wrong about this is that 1) they brought up this story out of the blue. 2) they had to be pinned down for better than two days before confessing that is was "...kind of exaggerated."  They lied. Let me say that again - they lied.
In his latest interview, Lochte has said that he didn't abandon his friends and wants to stand up for them. That's easy, Ryan. Get on a plane and go back to Brazil.  But he won't. 
What will happen to him now? He should be punished severely. A-Rod took PEDs, lied about it, recanted and took his punishment - a one year suspension and lost millions of dollars. Lochte may get suspended from professional swimming - if there is such a thing - and may lose endorsements. Whatever it ends up being, it won't be enough. We have got to stop this practice of lying to the public. 

More thoughts on the Olympics
** Usain Bolt is the best Olympic athlete ever. Just ask him and most of the sports writers. But he is not. Oh, he's best in his field, the sprint races, but I didn't see him toss the discus, do the long jump or the high jump. He didn't go near the water (a good thing in Rio) or run any long distances. You want a true athlete, maybe the best Olympic athlete ever, I give you Jim Thorpe.
** Question - why won't Gabby Douglas ever smile? She just didn't look like she was enjoying herself. That's too bad. She is a great gymnast and this is probably the last time she'll ever be on the Olympic stage . Celebrate the team's - and your - accomplishments one last time.
** There were far too many disqualifications  in the track events this year. Are the participants (I almost said combatants) trying too hard? Is there attitude - do anything you can to win? I never saw so many elbows flying in the races. Who do they think they are? Basketball players?
** As usual, NBC did a horrible job of broadcasting the Olympics. Since everything is tape-delayed, don't you think they could have done a better job of covering the events? They would show two or three attempts on the high bar or the shot put, for example, which turned out to be an American failing on an attempt and then the gold medal winner. In their defense however, we do know what the grandparents went through preparing the athletes and how they suffered watching then. Please, less dramatics and more sports. Oh, and could we please, please have more commercials.
** We're number one - and maybe number two. 
The USA Woman's team won the gold so easily that assistant coaches, Dawn Staley and Cheryl Reeves, could have played in high heels and the team wouldn't have been threatened. 
The men's Team plays for the gold today. Vegas has established them as 15-point favorites.

Baseball news. 
** The Mets pitching staff, thought to be one of the best in preseason, has fallen apart due to their many injuries. It's been suggested that perhaps the additional strain of the post season contributed greatly to their physical problems. There may be a case for this, since it happened to Kansas City this year and the San Fran Giants a few times. Lets see how there "highly-respected"  pitching coaches deal with this one. 
[I've noticed that baseball announcers absolutely can't mention the name of a pitching coach without adding the "highly-respected" tag to all of them. If they are all highly-respected, why are so many of them looking for work every year?]
** The Yankees Gary Sanchez is waking up the whole baseball world with his magical appearance. Sports writers are saying they've never seen a rookie begin their career on such a high note, but it doesn't meant he can sustain it. You may remember a fellow named Shane Spencer, who broke in with the Yankees in September of 1998. In 27 games, he .379 with 10 homers and 27 RBIs, including 3 grand slams. Unfortunately, that was the highlight of his career which only lasted 6 more years. 
But, in the meantime, you have to admire the ability Sanchez has shown.
** So the Tigers refused to reschedule a start time of a game for the Red Sox. Should we feel sad for the Sox? If they had changed - at the last minute, I might add - I would feel sorry for the thousands of fans who had tickets for the regularly scheduled time. They are the ones who are severely inconvenienced.
** Have we been wrong all this time? Michael Kay announced that it has been scientifically proven that diving into first base to beat a throw DOES get you there faster. For years, they said running through the base is the fastest but now we know differently. Of course, it also increases your chances of getting hurt. 
** Gary Sanchez has in effect shown he is the best catcher on the roster for New York and Austin Romine has proved he'd be a more than capable back-up, and since both are much younger than Brian McCann, isn't it time for the Yanks to trade McCann?

Goodbye John 
I have to admit that I didn't particularly care for John Saunders when he took over as moderator for the Sunday morning Sports  Reporters for Dick Schaap, whom I loved. But over the years, Saunders grew on me. His style was a little different than Schaap's, but he proved to be knowledgeable, friendly and obviously respected by the other panel members. I wasn't really aware of the the number of positions he held and the scope of his activities and I certainly wasn't aware of his long term physical ailments. He became to me, one of those guys I liked to listen too and while I didn't always agree with his point of view, I respected his comments because of the way he presented them and the logic behind them. 
Goodbye John,we will all miss you.

"The U.S. was striving for its first ever Olympic medal in table tennis. When you consider the roughly 180.5 million ping-pong tables in basements around the country, how is this possible?"  -- Brad Dickson
"The closest I ever got to make the track and field team in high school was when they asked me to shag javelins."  -- Tony Chong
"US men were DQ’ed in 4 by 100 relay. Thanks to  Ryan Lochte for  making sure this isn’t most embarrassing American men’s team story of these Olympic games."  -- Janice Hough
" From the You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up file comes word that Wednesday’s Twins-Astros game in Minneapolis was rained out — on Umbrella Night."  -- Dwight Perry
"There is a new world record in the 100-meter dash. It was set by Ryan Lochte running through the Rio airport to board his plane and get out of town."  -- Brad Dickson
" The jockstrap worn by Joe Frazier in the Fight of the Century sold at auction for $10,000. And Johnny Depp thinks he just paid a lot for support"  -- RJ Currie
"The last time golf was an Olympic sport was in 1912. NBC showed the replay on tape delay in 1916, due to the games being cancelled that year due to The Great War."  -- Tony Chong
" A-Rod signs one-day relationship contract to retire as Madonna’s boyfriend."  --
" Tom Brady missed tonight’s Patriots Bears game after he sliced his right thumb getting dirt out of a cleat. Gisele: “my husband cannot throw the football and clean his shoes at the same time.”.  -- Janice Hough
"The last Olympics that didn’t lose money for the host city?” asked Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle.  “Los Angeles, 1984.  “The last Olympics at which the IOC didn’t make a ton of profit, even though it doesn’t really do anything except collect money? Athens, 750 B.C"  -- Scott Ostler

"America’s latest gymnastics sensation begs the question: What’s the over-under on how many American babies will be born in the next year named Simone?"  -- Janice Hough
"And in fight-memorabilia news, the boxing gloves worn by Muhammad Ali against Joe Frazier in the 1971 “Fight of the Century” sold at auction for $606,375.  Which makes one wonder what Elin Nordegren’s infamous nine-iron might’ve fetched."  -- Dwight Perry

A diver from Russia landed on her back and scored a 0.0. Well, the Russian judge gave her a 9.85."   -- Brad Dickson
"I can’t see Aaron Rodgers brother Jordan bragging about being chosen on the Bachlorette. The Green Bay QB’s reply? Munn’s the word."  -- RJ Currie



Saturday, August 13, 2016


No more drama
A-Rod bowed out last night in a sea of emotion, mostly from A-Rod himself. In a rare attempt to show that he's actually human, Mgr Joe Girardi sent A-Rod out to play third in the 9th inning of a 6-3 Yankee win. What a nice gesture, I thought, until Girardi removed him after one out. Okay, so maybe he wanted to pull A-Rod before something embarrassing happened, but the way Betances was pitching, the odds were small. In fact Dellin struck out the side. But A-Rod did get one final ovation before he began the embracing of every single teammate, coach, trainer and maybe hot dog vendor in the stadium.
Goodbye A-Rod, I will miss you.

Wait, this isn't right
** The pre-season analysts decided that the Mets were the favorites to win the NL East while the Yankees would be fighting to stay out of the cellar in AL East. A look at today's standings show the Yanks at three games over .500 while the Mets are one game under and 101/2 games back in third place.
** The Yankee broadcasters seem to use the same descriptions all the time. "Gardner is flying around third." "Hicks is unleashing that gun." "Teixeira is chugging into third (or second or home)." Always 'chugging.' Well last night, Tex stole 2nd base and stole it by such a margin, the catcher never even threw to 2nd. I think 'chugging' can be retired now.
** The St. Louis Cardinals, perennial winners of the NL Central, are mired in 2nd place, 14 games out of first. They're chasing the Chicago Cubs, currently on an 11-game winning streak.
** The US Women's soccer team was eliminated from the tournament by Sweden in the preliminary round. They aren't going down without a fight, though. US goalie Hope Solo called the Swedish team "cowards," because they played a defensive game, which underclassed teams will do to keep from being blown out. Solo should just keep her mouth shut.
** Mets manager Terry Collins issued a tirade Thursday night after the team had been swept three straight by the lowly Diamond backs. He said, "There has to be a passion to come and play, and if they didn't start acting like professionals, I will find players who would.  This starts tomorrow. And I'm going to tell them that." The Mets promptly went out and lost to the lowly Padres.
** Move over Bobby Bonilla. Not to be outdone, the Cincinnati Reds will be paying Ken Griffey, Jr., $3.5 million a year for nine more years. For the record, Ken Griffey, Sr. never made more than $1.1 million in a season.

Notes from the Rio Olympics 
** Why it necessary to say "Rio" Olympics? Is there one going on somewhere else in the world?
** I enjoy Women"s gymnastics because of the beauty and fearlessness of the participants. At least these ladies look like real women, unlike years ago when the 12 & 13 year old girls were competing. They didn't even look like females. They looked like refugees from a POW camp. Silver medal winner Aly Raisman is actually 22 years old.
How do these girls hold it together when they fall or fail badly when competing? I give them all a lot of credit.
** I still don't understand this. Why do the ladies in the "Women's Porno-Beach Volleyball" have to wear those skimpy costumes (I refuse to call them uniforms)? Look at what the men wear. Shorts to their knees and full t-shirts while the women wear sports bras and barely-there shorts designed by Victoria's Secret. The women don't like it either. One former medalist says the biggest problem is, "You get sand where there shouldn't be sand." 
The Track & Field competitors aren't much better. Skimpy tops and bikini shorts on most of them. Some of them are wearing a much larger pair of shorts and, lo & behold, they run just as fast. 
** I'm not crazy about all these 'Up Close & Personal' stories that accompany NBC's coverage of the Olympic Games (yes, the ones in Rio). I understand that it's their attempt to develop a relationship between the competitors and the audience so we will participate in the emotion of the event. I root for the US athletes, I don't need to know how his grandmother felt watching him compete. I know a lot of viewers - probably mostly women - like it, but I don't. I just want to see the competition. Sorry, but that's how I feel. 

You can take him out of the Majors, but...
...he's still Yasiel Puig. Sent down to the minors after 31/2 years with the Dodgers, Yasiel continued to be the fun-loving guy he always has been . His first day in Oklahoma City and after a loss, he posted a video of himself and teammates partying. Puig claims he was just "...getting to know his teammates." I don't know what he found out other than what they like to drink.

"#‎SFGiants‬ manager ‪#‎BruceBochy‬ was out of the hospital and back on the bench today. Unfortunately the Giants offense is back on life support."  -- Janice Hough
"Isn’t it time to put names on Yanks jerseys? This would be for the benefit of fans AND team mates."  -- Tony Chong  
"Forbes described the movie Suicide Squad as middling, filled with poor choices and one of DC’s biggest summer letdowns. No wait — that’s Bryce Harper."  -- RJ Currie
"“N.Y. Post lays off 36 employees after cutting its A-Rod Pun Headline Department."  --
"Nike’s Olympic ad campaign from a few years ago came to mind. It declared, “You don’t win silver, you lose gold.” The worst thing to happen to sports while I have been on this job remains Nike."  -- Phil Mushnick
"Do not adjust your TV set, that is the actual color of Ryan Lochte's hair."  -- Brad Dickson
"Rams coach Jeff Fisher released receiver Deon Long after he was caught with a woman in his training-camp room after curfew. The 2016 Rams, obviously, are not to be confused with the Kenny Stabler-era Raiders."  -- Dwight Perry
"A-Rod wanted to play 3rd base in his final game with the Yankees. Joe Girardi said no – “”We are still in the business of trying to win games.” Right, that’s why New York traded away their star closer AND their star set-up man. -- Janice Hough
"Scientists in Sydney, Australia, estimate the global cost of physical inactivity will exceed US$67 billion this year. This includes $20 million or so the Yankees will spend on A-Rod."  -- RJ Currie
"There are 306 events at the Summer Olympic Games. NBC is focusing on all events involving attractive people who are mostly nude."  -- Brad Dickson
"Tim Tebow is now trying out for Major League baseball. As Bob Uecker would say, “Sorry, we don’t need any second base coaches.”  -- Tony Chong



Sunday, August 07, 2016


A new kind of balk call
Umpire "Balking" Bob Davidson threw a guy out this week and it was a fan. This was a good thing. The fan had been riding Davidson hard but then he went over the line and started cursing. Davidson had security evict him. "There were women and children around and no one should have to put up with that kind of behavior." Good for you, Bob. (I never thought I'd write that sentence)

Does this make sense?  
The Yankees are paying A-Rod $21 million to sit on the bench - and another $21 million next year. This is classic, "Play me or pay me." A-Rod is not is the starting lineup today.

Oh yeah, the Olympics.
An American won the first medal in the 2016 Olympic Games. Ginny Thrasher won the gold in the Air Rifle competition. Air rifle? It's a good thing she didn't shoot her eye out.

Another A-Rod story 
The Yankees are supposed to have a press conference this morning and said that A-Rod and Joe Girardi would be available for questions afterward. I wonder what this is going to be about. Maybe...

[ The Yankees announced that A-Rod Would be taking over the team but that Girardi would still be the manager. A-Rod was quoted as saying, "Joe is still a member of the coaching staff. I can't tell you when he will actually manage a game, I have to look at the match-ups, but he's still a valuable member of the staff and we have the utmost confidence in him."  ]
 This is one of those statements that can fit any circumstance. 

Who has time for the games?
The Brazilian Olympic committee has made 450,000 condoms available to the athletes.  What sport is that? I would love to see the image they put on the medal for that one.

Back and forth 
When you walk into a ball park, you often hear the phrase, "You can't tell the players without a scorecard."  This was never truer than in the case of this years Yankees. The Yankees have shuttled so many players, so many times the 110 miles from Scranton, PA, to the stadium, that some of them never bother to change uniforms. I understand that some of the players are asking for mileage

We lost a good one 
Mark Teixeira has announced his retirement. He will definitely be missed. Power from both sides of the plate and a glove that must have had stick-um in the pocket. I will always remember the way Michael Kay described Tex's arrival at one of the bases: "...and Teixeira chugs into 2nd." Chug is the only way to describe his running form with his cheeks puffed out and his mouth in an oval shape. But he always went all out. I don't believe he will be elected to the Hall of Fame, but he deserves a spot in Monument Park. Goodbye, Tex, and thank you.

Where is Billy Martin when you need him?
Paul Clemens of the San Diego Padres was forced by the umpires to change uniform tops before he was allowed to pitch because he had pine tar all over it. "Before he went up, he put more pine tar on his bat than a lot of guys use in a year," Padres manager Andy Green said. "He managed to get it all over his uniform." He had to wear a generic top that had the name "Player" on the back. Not to be out done, Teammate Jon Edwards taped over his name with the name "Player #2." 
George Brett would be so proud.

"Drug dealers in Rio are selling cocaine in Olympic packaging, HuffPost Brasil reported. Don’t know about faster or stronger, but they’ve got higher covered."  -- Dwight Perry
"Loved watching ‪#‎Olympics‬ as a child in all kinds of time zones. Waiting to see a world record 4 hr later just doesn’t compare. @NBC sucks."  -- Janice Hough
"UNRio Olympics bumper sticker we’d like to see: We’re up to our waist in human waste!"  -- TC Chong
"Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio will be an NBC correspondent during the Olympics. For goings-on in Brazil, she’ll keep you abreast."  -- RJ Curry
"Body parts floating in the Olympic water venues? Well, critics warned it’d cost an arm and a leg to get there."  --  Dwight Perry
" He's not fazed by the exorbitant World Series expectations put on the team: “I didn’t come here for a haircut ... I came here for jewelry.” -- Cubs pitcher Jon Lester
"The Australian delegation complained about blocked toilets, leaking pipes and exposed wiring in the Olympic Village. Then, after evacuating their rooms due to fire, they were robbed. During opening ceremonies, they were the athletes flipping off the crowd."  -- Brad Dickson
" Mark Teixeira announces retirement from disabled list.”  --
"Brett Favre said he wanted his induction speech at Saturday’s Pro Football Hall of Fame enshrinement to mirror his career. Which explains why he quit speaking and then re-started three times." --  Dwight Perry 
"Tom Brady’s suspension is so restrictive, he’s basically forced to stay home with his wife. That’s four weeks with supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Tell me when to start crying."  -- RJ Curry
"Dateline New York: John McEnroe throws out ceremonial first pitch for Mets, says “You cannot be serious” when no one calls it a strike."  -- Dwight Perry  [Must be D. Perry day at the Picasner home.]
 "Ahead of the Summer Olympic Games, had an article titled “Everything you need to know about rhythmic gymnastics.” Nothing. I need to know absolutely nothing about rhythmic gymnastics."  -- Brad Dickson