Friday, April 19, 2013


## As I'm sure most of the free world has already heard, Derek Jeter has had a setback with his ankle injury. He's developed a small crack in the bone in that same area. The current guesstimate is that he won't return to duty until after the All-Star break in July. Cashman has said that the Yanks will continue to replace him in-house, but what else could he say? Any team he approaches about a trade will want an extortion-sized return, and there isn't much available anyway.  When they lost Teixeira, they approached Derek Lee, when A-Rod was lost, they thought of Chipper Jones. Who's up now?  Cal Ripken, Jr.? Cal Ripken, Sr.? Wait, Senior has passed on, so he's not an immediate solution.

## On Wednesday, the Yanks won a game they could have lost. Last night, they lost a game they should have won. When you have the bases loaded with one out, and your number three and four hitters due up, you ought to be able to squeeze out one run. They didn't.

## The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees have changed their name to the "Railriders."  I haven't been able to find out why. In the thirties, 'railriders' was another name for 'hoboes,' Vagrants, who hopped on freight trains, traveling the country, looking for food, shelter or even jobs. The name would have been appropriate last year, as the Scranton team had no home stadium and played all of their games on the road. The way Hal Steinbrenner is spending money these days, "Hoboes' might work, too.

## First I lost Stan Kegel for a few months, then Brad Dickson went on vacation. Tony Chong hasn't sent me his weekly 'groaner list' yet. Now, the Seattle Times, in it's infinite wisdom, has decided to extort 99 cents a week from me for the privilege of reading Dwight Perry's column, Sideline Chatter, four times a week. I don't know who should be more insulted: me, for having to pay to read such a small portion of the paper four times a week, or Mr. Perry, for putting such a small price on his talents?  At any rate, this may be the last 'free' quote from Mr. Perry -
"Gadsden (N.M.) High School's baseball coach plans to file a complaint after an umpire threatened to start ejecting his players if they didn't stop speaking Spanish. The coach, to his credit, told the ump: No Way, Jose."  -- Dwight Perry

 "A Wall Street Journal report says psychologists can consistently pick the loser of a fight by seeing who has the biggest, toothiest smile before they square off. I can't see this working with hockey players."  -- RJ Currie
" Derek Jeter apparently has a small crack in his surgically repaired left ankle and will be out at least until the All-Star break. At this point the Yankees may decide to seek a second opinion from an expert paleontologist."  -- Janice Hough
   Stupidest Things In Sports
"Tennis champions who crumple to the ground when they win a Grand Slam event. Whatever happened to just walking to the net and shaking hands? I could even live with them racing to the net and jumping over it to greet the loser. But from Andre Agassi to Rafael Nadal, these modern “champions” now collapse to their knees, stomachs or backsides like they have been shot by a sniper.
"Injury time in soccer. It feels like a random number that every referee pulls out of a jar. Here’s a novel idea: Just stop the clock any time there is an “injury,” then restart it when play resumes. This would allow players and fans to know precisely WHEN THE GAME ENDS.
"A goat’s head was delivered to Wrigley Field. Was the rear end delivered to Steve Bartman?"  -- TC Chong
"Ten days after signing a 10-year contract extension, New Mexico coach Steve Alford accepted the UCLA job. Just when you think loyalty in sports may be improving a smidgen, a guy breaks his contract 9 years, 11 months and 20 days early"  -- Brad Dickson
"According to Psych Central, people who seem able to wait endlessly for something good to happen actually experience physical sensations of pleasure in looking forward to things. At last, an explanation for Cubs fans."  -- RJ Currie
"A Pennsylvania man was arrested for hunting in a Walmart parking lot. I think we're going to need another sequel to “You Might Be a Redneck If...”  -- Brad Dickson


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