Saturday, November 24, 2012

MORE OF THE SILLY SEASON

Now that everyone has finished eating the turkey, it's time to begin dealing some of baseball's turkeys.  Of course, all the baseball analysts, evaluators and self-professed experts (present company excluded, of course) start rating the current rosters, the free agents and possible trades. It can be fun, envisioning the monster trades that assure your team of a spot in the post season or the surprise announcement of the signing of a coveted free agent. All dreams that end up as far-fetched as wondering if the head cheerleader will go to the big dance with you.
I enjoy reading the lists that rate the free-agents along with their possible resting place. Most are reasonable, but you have to wonder how feasible it is for some of the players to actually get offered contracts. For example:
Freddy Garcia - Garcia is getting pretty easy to hit these days. He has a tendency to give up a lot of home runs. If he signs with anybody, they better have a big park - like Yellowstone.
Nick Johnson - To say Nick is a little fragile is quite an understatement. He's the only player I know that can end up on the Disabled List -- in the off-season.
Ben Sheets - I don't see how anyone would take a chance on him. On one ratings list, he's behind two guys who retired.
Daisuke Matsuzaka - He nibbles at the corners of the plate so much, he's been know to reach a 100 count pitch limit by the third inning. Plus, you run the danger of your infielders falling asleep.

***I NEED HELP WITH THIS ONE***
Not only did Hal Steinbrenner dictate that the Yanks cut payroll, now he's selling off some assets. Rupert Murdoch, Fox News Corporation, is buying 49% of the YES Network. Luckily (Luckily?), the Yankees will control the pinstripe content, including the announcers. Hopefully, this means we will not have to deal with Tim McCarver pontificating as if he still knew something about the game. Because of the Yankee games and associated programming, the network is valued at $3.8 billion. With that kind of an asset, why cut the payroll? They may reduce players salaries, but I'll bet we haven't seen the last of the $10 beers.

***MAYBE THEY DON'T WIN, BUT THE PLAYERS ARE HAPPY***
What do Hiroki Kuroda, Ichiro Suzuki and Raul Ibanez have in common? Much to the dismay of their agents, all have stated publicly, that they all want to stay with the Yankees, sometimes at a discount. In fact, Kuroda has already signed with NY for one year, even though his agent says that he had other offers for two years and more money. Joakim Soria, considered a premium closer, has said he would sign as a set-up man, just to work with Mariano Rivera. What's going on here? Doesn't big money count for anything any more? It used to be that the Yanks were willing to pay so much more than anyone else, that players didn't care about conditions or anything else if the bucks were there. Maybe he was a pain in the ass, but George Steinbrenner was easier to figure out.

***THEY SAID IT***
"There were reports that Miley Cyrus was having three weddings in three locations. Call me a bitter divorce√©, but isn't that three too many?"  -- RJ Currie
"Mike Vick called for another “Players Only” meeting after the Eagles latest loss. Only this time, he couldn’t remember what he wanted to talk about."  -- TC Chong
"Arriving online this week, just in time for Black Friday: the Mariners' Holiday Gift Guide. Prices range from $7.97 for an M's cuff-knit stocking cap to $8.5 million for a gently-worn Chone Figgins."  -- Dwight Perry
Retiring football coach John Gagliardi, 86, to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, recalling his arrival at the Minnesota college: "When I came to St. John's, the monks told me there was a vow of poverty. I didn't realize that included the football coach."
"They had special rules for the family's Thanksgiving Day pickup football game: "The quarterback can't run. With us, that obviously wasn't a problem."  -- Giants quarterback Eli Manning
"Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano was sworn in as a U.S. citizen this week. Eyewitnesses said it was Cano, all right — he didn't exactly hustle up the line to get his papers."  -- Dwight Perry
"It’s a Happy Thanksgiving in 49 states.    Dallas lost."  -- Janice Hough
"A Wisconsin school district is trying to stop a joint public-private high school football team from having crosses on its helmets. This marks the first time a group of people in foam rubber cheeseheads have said: “Your headware is unacceptable.”  -- Brad Dickson
"A player named Jack Taylor at Grinnell (IA.) College scored 138 points in a game against Faith Baptist. A Faith Baptist coach said the team could have done a better job defending Taylor. I believe we have a winner in the 2012 “Understatement of the Year” contest"  -- Brad Dickson
" I had a full Thanksgiving. I watched the Houston-Detroit NFL game, followed by the Redskins-Cowboys game, and then the Patriots and the Jets and — oh, man, I forgot to eat Thanksgiving dinner"  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

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