Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Warning. This post contains an asterisk which may be unsettling to sensitive readers.

Jeff Gordon, four times NASCAR champion, took a page from Bullet Bob Gibson’s book and threw a high, hard one at Clint Boyer’s noggin in Phoenix this past Sunday. Boyer had been responsible for wrecking Gordon earlier in the year costing one of NASCAR’s iconic drivers a win at Martinsville and, according to Gordon, had run into him enough other times that it was time to take care of business. And he did, waiting on the track after another paint-trading encounter to take Boyer and his championship hopes into the wall. 

Boyer’s pit crew immediately went to the grease racks (mattresses were unavailable) and attacked Gordon’s crew setting off one of the great infield scrums in NASCAR history.

Gordon was fined $100,000 and put on double-secret probation until the end of the year (that would be one more race). No suspensions, no warnings to crew chiefs that the next incident means your ejection. In NASCAR, issues are settled by the drivers, in cars, frequently at speed.  Bob Gibson would like that.

While we wait for the Yankee’s to become relevant once again (this could take a while) … we have another K Rove winner.

The recent presidential election produced a clown-car load of nominees. Mitt Romey’s campaign manager looked like a sure winner when he announced that “fact checkers will not control our campaign” but was sent to the sidelines when Fox News decided that facts would not control their news. (Fox remains a candidate in the Best Fictional Account of the Election, the Country and Reality category.)

Early Republican primary candidates Herman Cain (… I have so much spinning around in my head…), Rick Perry (…the three departments of the federal government I would eliminate are… uh, I can’t remember… ), Rick Santorum (Obama said he wants every one to have an opportunity to go to college. What a snob!) and our very own Newtster, ready to colonize Mars, were all serious contenders.

Our winner is… the darling of the Tea Baggers, the no-taxes on the rich pledgemeister, Grover (Grovel Before Me) Norquist.

In explaining the election results in an interview on CBS, Norquist blathered that President Obama’s decisive win was largely due to his portrayal of Mitt Romney as a “Poopy Head”. No lie! He claimed that because Obama called Romney a “Poopy Head”  (which, of course, the President did not) over 50 million stupid, gullible Americans voted for Obama.

It appears that rather than trying to attract voters among the fastest growing demographic groups in the country, Norquist is tweaking his message to attract the not-yet-potty-trained pre-schoolers - a group he was already strong with.

Yes Karl, now there’s a complete HorsesA*s.

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