Monday, November 19, 2012


For those of you who wonder what Santa Claus does during the summer, that's when he takes his vacation. I ran into him in a little town in Wisconsin in August a couple of years ago. He was on his way back from collecting a refund on some eggnog empties.
Sadly, he refused to take my Christmas list letter.

## Former Yankee phenom, Brien Taylor has begun serving his prison sentence. Very sad.

## It seems there will soon be a play on Broadway about the Yankees. It will feature a number of former superstars such as Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle. Some of you may recall a Broadway play and movie called "Damn Yankees," about a man who sold his sold to the Devil to become a superstar playing for the old Washington Senators so they could finally beat the Yankees.
There is no truth to the rumor that George Steinbrenner got control of the Yankees the same way.

## Joe Girardi said the rehab needed on Derek Jeter's ankle will probably keep him from playing until late April or early May next season. Upon hearing this, Jeter immediately challenged Girardi to a race. Girardi said he'd agree, but only if he could have a head start.

## NY Post writer Mark Miller has published a list of the "most useless player" on each team. The Red Sox player was Alfredo Aceves, while Joba Chamberlain was listed as the Yanks most useless. I thought he might pick the whole Yankee lineup.

## Marlins owner, Jeffrey Loria, managed to get the city of Miami and most of Dade county to pay for his new stadium, by threatening to move. Now the Tampa Bay Rays are trying the same thing, but the Marlins were big losers after Loria brought in a bunch of highly paid studs and subsequently sold them all off, infuriating his fan base. This little scenario was not lost on the city of Tampa Bay. The odds on the city funding a new stadium for the Rays has diminished greatly and may force the Rays to move, since there is no way ownership will spend their own money.

## The World Baseball Classic is coming around again.  This is Bunglin' Bud Selig's baby: a national baseball tournament where Major League baseball players who are not yet in shape, get to come dangerously close to career-ending injuries...for no good reason. If I owned a Major League team, my players would be absolutely forbidden to play.

## Speaking of Selig, he is still "reviewing" the Marlins-Blue Jays trade. He should be able to concentrate on this situation as soon as he's finished handling the Oakland A's attempt to move to San Jose. This has only taken 2 1/2 years so far.

## Joel Sherman of the NY Post wonders if the Yanks will back off their payroll deduction kick in an article titled: "What Would George Do?" According to Sherman, Boss George would never stand for a team in their division making the big splash that Toronto did in acquiring three of the Marlins best players without going out and buying a couple of superstars himself.  Alas, those days are gone forever. Son and heir, Hal Steinbrenner has locked up the Yankee checkbook and won't tell Brian Cashman where the key is.

## Interesting little tidbit from the ESPN show, The Sports Reporters, yesterday. Mike Lupica, whom I call a 'conversational bully,' always tries to dominate the discussions, whatever the topic. He began to talk loudly over one of the other reporters, but excused himself by saying, "Sorry to interrupt, but it's in my nature."  Boy, that's for sure.

3. Akron (1-10): The Zips had a bye week. Still, oddsmakers picked them to somehow lose
4. Southern Mississippi (0-11): Lost a heartbreaker to UTEP 34-33, a game in which no one left early, mostly because nobody showed up in the first place.
7. Western Carolina (1-10): Scheduled to play Alabama the week after the Crimson Tide lost for the first time. If you missed the game, picture a tank driving over a field mouse.
 9. UAB (3-8): Lost to Memphis, which was 2-8 going into the game. These two teams were on a collision course. Sort of like a Yugo heading for a Vega.

A couple of personal notes. Chad and his lovely wife (and editor) will be heading to Connecticut on Wednesday to celebrate Thanksgiving with son Mark and his family. I should say, DR. MARK, since he recently completed his quest for a doctorate in English. While I am proud of his achievement,  I am not looking forward to having my postings corrected for grammar and graded.

Secondly, Happy Birthday to my good friend, Dwight Perry, whose sense of humor I've utilized in this blog for a few years. I don't know how old he is, but Tony Chong says Dwight is once again, celebrating his 39th birthday.

" A question about those Pittsburgh Steeler throwback jerseys. Can they throw them back?"  -- Janice Hough
"A Gallup report shows that Sunday is the day we spend the most time doing things we aren't good at. Especially if you're a Jacksonville Jaguar."  -- RJ Currie
" Hidden injuries! Switched jersey numbers! Intentionally deflated footballs! When USC said they wanted coach Lane Kiffin to set an example, I guess they should have specified what kind of example."  -- Greg Cote
"Marlins Park was the first to feature a retractable roof and retractable roster."  -- Steve Rushin
"Yanks Nick Swisher has turned down their qualifying offer. He says other teams are more than willing to pay him handsomely for the privilege of having their fans booing him. --  TC Chong
" Reports out of Philadelphia say 76ers center Andrew Bynum, already sidelined with a knee injury, has hurt the other knee — while bowling. So what do you classify this injury as, a lane violation?"  -- Dwight Perry
"AMF Bowling Worldwide filed for bankruptcy: "Not to worry. If my math is correct, they'll have that paid off as soon as they rent nine more pairs of bowling shoes."  -- Brad Dickson
"Caltech — known for its brainiac students and losing teams — getting busted by the NCAA: "Banning Caltech from postseason is akin to forbidding Pope Benedict XVI from break-dancing."  -- Norman Chad
" The Big Ten is considering the addition of Maryland. Great. Husker fans haven't yet figured out what a Boilermaker is and now we have to worry about the Terrapin?"  -- Brad Dickson



No comments: