Sunday, June 16, 2013

WHAT WOULD GEORGE DO?

Okay, I understand that the Yanks have something like $75 million in salaries sitting on the DL, and they want to get the team salary under $189 million next year, but I doubt that would prevent George Steinbrenner from bursting at least 10 blood vessels watching this team struggle. I am convinced he would be looking to acquire some guys who could actually HIT the ball with men on base.

Tell me most of this wouldn't happen:
Neal - back to Scranton
Adams - back to Scranton
Romine - Back to Scranton
Brignac - Released
Overbay - Released
Wells - Traded or released
Youkilis - Traded or released
Hafner - Traded or released

Yeah, he might have to eat another $37 million in salaries, like that ever bothered him. And it wouldn't stop with players, either. Girardi - fired, trainer Stevie Donahue - fired, hitting coach Kevin Long - scourged, then fired, then scourged again.

Some of the rest of the players wouldn't be left out, either. Hughes, Chamberlain and Sabathia would all be blasted in the papers. As far as lolly-gagging Cano, he would be blistered so badly, he 'd be running hard to first on strike outs, just in case the catcher missed the third strike.

And so the great payroll reduction would end, not with a whimper, but with gunfire.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Rising U.S. tennis star, Sloane Stephens, says one thing she wishes was different is "that boys weren’t so stupid." She's young. In time she'll wish men weren't so stupid."  -- RJ Currie
"Major League Baseball is offering a discount package on MLB TV for Father’s Day to “Give dad the gift of live baseball.”. And children of Marlins’ fans are thinking “Who hates their father that much?”  -- Janice Hough
"Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari recently got married. Several Bears’ offensive linemen attended the ceremony, so before the bride could throw the bouquet she was sacked."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Mariners’ 31st-round draft pick: lefty pitcher Michaelangelo Guzman. Giddy scouts say Michaelangelo is good at painting the corners and has a really high ceiling."  -- Dwight Perry
"Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy and Adam Scott were paired for the first two rounds of the U.S. Open. Guys in all the other groups could play in their underwear and drink tequila on the greens for all anyone would notice.”  -- Greg Cote
"A Minnesota woman running in a half marathon developed back pain that led to her giving birth when she didn’t even know she was pregnant. Which meant when filling out the baby’s birth certificate, where it said ‘race’ she put down ‘did not finish.’”  -- Jim Barach
[This item came from Dwight Perry's column, "Sideline Chatter." I suspect from the style, that Dwight is on vacation in Hawaii. THAT is the way to spend Father's Day.  -- CP]
"More information is coming out on the NSA scandal. Apparently the government used super-sophisticated spy tactics that previously were only available to the New England Patriots coaching staff."  -- Brad Dickson
"Even poor Manu Ginobili has hit more shots than Yankee hitters did in Oakland this week."  -- Mike Lupica
"This Sunday is Father's Day. Or as NBA players call it, "Don't Answer the Phone Day."  -- Conan O'Brien
"If you're looking for a thoughtful, inexpensive gift for dad, here is an idea: Try not to roll your eyes when he says something."  -- Jimmy Kimmel

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL FATHERS.

CP-



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