Saturday, June 22, 2013

SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

***HOW VALUABLE IS MO?***
Well, let's see. How much do you think Detroit would be willing to give up for a good, reliable closer?  They just designated Jose Valverde for assignment. Starting in 2007, he averaged 38 saves a year for 6 years. The Tigers released him last year but brought him back again this year for lack of a better alternative.
The Red Sox just gave up on Andrew Bailey - again! They tried everybody but Bobby Valentine to close out games.
These are two teams leading their respective divisions, and yet the ninth inning is a crap shoot for both of them.

***MANNY RAMIREZ IS AVAILABLE AGAIN***
Yeah, I know, big deal. Manny was playing in Taiwan, but just walked out on them. Let's see: he has quit on Boston, quit on the Dodgers, lollygagged his way out of Chicago and "retired" from Tampa Bay when the PED use caught up with him for the 2nd time. They say his bat speed is back, but, as Buster Olney says, "The specter of his being back on the 'pixey dust' is too strong." The pixey dust reference fits in with his fertility drug use that caught up with him last time.

***RIGHT, BUT WHO'S SECOND?***
St Louis has had the best record in baseball for a while now, but do you know what team has the next best record? It's the Pittsburgh Pirates. That's not a typo, the Bucs are 44-30, a .595 record. There still 88 games to go, so anything could happen, but this is clearly no fluke.

***ANGEL HERNANDEZ IS AT IT AGAIN***
Umpire Angel Hernandez was behind the plate in Toronto against the Orioles yesterday. He's the only umpire who can get a call wrong, fix it, and still look dumb. Oriole Chris Davis swings and misses at a 2-2 pitch. The catcher misses it and Davis starts to run to first, but wait - Hernandez calls it a foul tic. Out comes the Blue Jay manager to argue. Hernandez calls the other three umpires together and then reverses the call. Here comes Buck Showwalter, saying you missed it two feet away, how does a guy 120 feet away see it any clearer?   Hernandez can't answer that question so he throws Buck out of the game. Problem solved.

***DON'T EXPECT MIRACLES***
We keep hearing how the  Yanks are waiting for the regulars to get back into the lineup, but these guys have been on the DL for a long time. Jeter, for example, hasn't swung at a pitch in a game in over 8 months. A-Rod, about the same. They aren't going to show up and start popping balls out of the park right away. They probably won't be comfortable at the plate for two or three weeks. Plus, those two guys might actually end up out for the year. So take a look at the team now - that's this year's New York Yankees. Pass the beer, please.

***THEY SAID IT***
"A second New York Yankees player has been linked to a Florida anti-aging clinic. Either some of the Yankees were involved with performance enhancers or the team has a huge problem with premature liver spots."  -- Brad Dickson
"Sesame Street has just introduced a new character named Alex, whose dad is in jail. No word on Alex’s last name being Ochocinco.”  -- TC Chong
"A disgruntled former employee of Biogenesis now says clinic founder Anthony Bosch visited A-Rod at his request during a 1 for 9 slump in the 2012 ALCS. Is there anyone involved in this case who doesn’t make you want to take a shower?"  -- Janice Hough
" Tennis star Victoria Azarenka has reportedly launched a new line of perfume. Lemme guess; Estee Louder?"  -- RJ Currie
"So, what’s on the menu for next year’s U.S. Open champion’s dinner? Phil Mickelson doesn’t care. He’s just there for the seconds."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Food Network dropped Paula Deen after she admitted to using racial slurs in the past. That crashing sound you hear is the bottom falling out of the butter market."  -- Janice Hough
"Unconfirmed reports claim the new Kardashian baby has been named North West. That narrowly beat out 'Hey, Look At Me.'"  -- Brad Dickson
"A Colombian poet reportedly plans to sell his testicles to raise money for a European tour. I gotta say, that takes — never mind."  -- RJ Currie

CP- 
 
















 

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