Friday, December 14, 2012


I never thought I'd ever be writing this sentence.

The Yankees signed the outfielder they were negotiating with for LESS money than two other teams.

Yes, it's true. Get up off the floor. The Yanks got Ichiro Suzuki for two years for $13 million dollars. At least one other team, reportedly the Phillies, offered at least $14 million. The word yesterday was that a two-year deal was dead, but I guess not. I guess Ichiro really liked playing for New York. Either that, or he found a really good sushi bar on 8th Avenue.

While Suzuki is a Gold Glove right fielder, the report also says that Ichiro can also play center in case they trade Granderson. It seems that every move the Yanks make, every rumor that floats around, has some mention of a Curtis Granderson trade. Why are they so anxious to get rid of this guy? 40 home runs don't grow on trees. Is it just the money?

I know that batters HATED facing Nolan Ryan when he was on the mound, but it seems that no one cares for him sitting behind a desk, either. Michael Young bad-mouthed the Ranger front office after he was traded, Josh Hamilton signed elsewhere without so much as a see-you-later, CJ Wilson left, Zack Greinke snubbed them and Justin Upton won't be going there either. Maybe Ryan needs to change his deodorant - or his facial expression.

It's been a long time since all the top free agents were signed before Christmas. Superagent Scott Boras, who likes to hold out till the last minute, must be sitting in a fetal position in a corner of his office with his thumb in his mouth. The biggest "name" out there now, is Nick Swisher. Another sentence I didn't think I'd write.

What's going to be the biggest rivalry in baseball next year? Texas and the Angels? The giants and the Dodgers?  Or Brian Cashman and Hal Steinbrenner?

I just read that the Hamilton Tiger cats (That's a Canadian Professional football team for those of you without a newspaper) just fired their head coach. They also have no General Manager , no offensive coordinator, no defensive coordinator and no stadium. Um, I may have misspoke about them being a professional football team. All they have left is the team logo.

"The Michigan Ballet Company has offered Ndomukung Suh a part in The Nutcracker."  -- TC Chong
"An Australian study says people with jobs where effort doesn't lead to reward are in poorer mental health than those looking for work. So if you're a NBA free agent, think twice before signing with the Raptors."  -- RJ Currie
"A Texas schoolboy was sent home for having the likeness of Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M's Heisman Trophy QB, shaved into his hair. My question: Where do kids find barbers capable of cutting these images of athletes? I'm lucky if my sideburns are even."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Lakers are really  struggling. It's taking some time for the guy who runs the team to learn the names of the players. But enough about Kobe."  -- Alan Ray
"At tonight’s post-game press conference, Eagles coach Andy Reid took full blame for the loss. He then fumbled the mike, it was recovered by an alert Cincinnati reporter." --  TC Chong
"Heat star LeBron James, tired of hearing criticism of teammate Dwyane Wade, told USA Today that "Charles Barkley needs to shut up." That's what you call taking it to the pie hole."  -- Dwight Perry
"Best rumor out of the NHL labor talks; in keeping with the theme, they'll play a watered-down season on thin ice."  -- Dwight Perry

Okay, I get one non sports-related item:
" Prison officials in North Carolina are calling for a criminal investigation after six inmates alleged correctional officers forced them to rub habanero hot sauce on their genitals. They then made them sing, "Goodness, gracious great balls of fire!"  -- Gary Bachman


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