Monday, December 10, 2012

I Don't Know Why Chad is not Posting so You Are Stuck with This. Hey, I'm not Happy Either.

I’ve been scouting the media for off-season Yankee info. Tough to find. Oh, the Food Channel is running a documentary on Derek Jeter, MedMD has a dedicated A-Rod page and the Social Security Administration has provided the Yankee roster with a dedicated login. The only other reference to a Yankee move is the fictionalized chiller on the Horror Channel. You know, the one about the Yankees offering Kevin Youkilis $12 million to play third base. Can you believe that some people think this is actually true? Hilarious.

Then again, the relative absence of the Yankees in this year’s horse trading may not be a bad thing. With few exceptions the available talent pool was pretty shallow and Hamilton and Grienke, the best available players, are not suited for New York service. Then again, we all might fell a bit better if Hal Steinbonner was not calling the shots (nothing good can ever come of that), Brian Cashman was playing lap dog in another town, the team had a proven catcher, a right fielder, a third baseman, an under 35 / under 250 lb. shortstop…

I could go on.

The following is presented merely as blog filler (flog?) because the Yankees are currently… uninteresting. Continue at your own peril. 

The recent documentary on the Pat Summerall / John Madon broadcast team brought up thoughts of great sports announcers past and present. Past greats include Red Barber, Dizzy Dean, Curt Gowdy, and Chris “He faked him out of his jock!” Schenkel. Now, the more broadcast sports I watch, the more often the Mute button is used.

I thought that sports broadcasting had hit an historic low when Frank Gifford, Don Meridith, and Howard Cossell were teamed up for Monday Night Football. Frank was a fine fellow but dull as a bag of doorknobs. Dandy Don was either 1) distracted, 2) distracting, 3) manic, 4) confused, 5) irrelevant, 6) dumb as a bag of doorknobs, or 7) all of the above. Howard was a pompous ass. Ah, but today’s lot of talking heads has far exceeded the banalities of the aforementioned.

Try watching a Joe Buck / Tim McCarver broadcast without setting you hair on fire. It can’t be done. At least when Buck is paired with Troy Aikman in football, everyone is nodding off by the middle of the second quarter.

I could go on and on and on and on…

But, you say, we can go to ESPN for pre- and post-game analysis – as well as post-pre, pre-post, pre-pre, and post-post game analysis from the best and the brightest. Sure! Bowhard Bayless, Stephen A. Stupid, JAWS (please shut the up). And someone tell Chris McHenry (could she be a droid?) its OK to move a muscle, any muscle, while on the set. Tedy Bruschi makes me wish I had one or two 40 ounc ers after listening to him. Jerry Rice loves everyone and everything (good for you Jerry, and I mean that), which disqualifies him from providing any meaningful analysis. Dick Vitale never shuts up and never broadcasts the game being played directly in front of his flapping gums – and that perpetual motion gasbag is an icon of excellence compared to Jeff VanGundy butchering an NBA game, and take a guess how Jeremy Schapp got a job?

I could go on and on and on and on…

However, in the interest of balance I give you 1) Doc Emrick – you always know who is on the ice, who is handling the puck, and he makes every game sound exciting even if it isn’t, 2) Chris Collingsworth – no one diagrams a play better, 3) Trent Dilfer – informed, logical and persuasive, 4) Merril Hoge – has his own tie knot.

I can’t go on and on and on, but I did warn you.

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