Saturday, December 22, 2012
BETTER SLEEPLESS THAN MINDLESS IN SEATTLE
It is common practice among sports writers to share quotes from columns and blogs appearing in other print and digital publications. As you know, Chad is particularly adept at scouring the web for fully attributed quotes that are amusing and intended to illustrate a point. As unlikely as it may seem, several dozen quotes from Chad Picasner at Large have appeared in newspapers across the country and always with full attribution. No longer.
An unnamed editor at the Seattle Times, that scion of the fifth estate, championing free speech and a free press, quashed a proposed quote from CPL because he objected to the author’s byline, Vod Kanockers.
Apparently, “ He Who Shall Not Be Named” carries meaning that, if uttered, will invoke the full wrath and fury of a jealous and vengeful God, or, at least, the ire of a small-minded editor playing Moral Police Chief. No doubt that Antonin Scalia is dancing in the streets of Seattle celebrating censorship of that most vile, evil and corrupting entity – a name.
Shakespeare asked, “What’s in a name?” The answer comes from Two and a Half Men, season 4, episode 2, way back when the show was actually funny:
Who's Vod Kanockers [4.2]
Alan: [reads newspaper headline]: "Mudslide kills 600 religious pilgrims." And yet both my ex-wives live on.
Rose: Boy, you look like hell.
Charlie: Well, that's strange, 'cause I feel like crap.
Charlie: Let me tell you something about feelings. Feelings are like your mother's breasts. You know where they are, but they are best left unfelt.
Rose: It's an interesting analogy, but may I point out that a mother's breasts are a source for nourishment and comfort?
Charlie: Yeah, well, my mother's breasts were a source of silicone and Russian vodka.
Charlie: Yeah, well, I don't have to face anything I don't want to face, and I don't have to feel anything I don't want to feel, and that includes Mom's vodka knockers!
Jake: Who is this "Vod Kanockers" that you speak of?
Alan: Eat your dinner.
Jake: The name's Kanockers. Vod Kanockers.
Pretty scary stuff, eh?
However, this mindless act of censorship did pique my interest and a web search turned up several Vod Kanockers. One I found particularly relevant is the author of a definition appearing in the Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=Vod+Kanockers)
1 definition by Vod Kanockers
The attitude of someone who constantly starts drama because they are shit.
Exp. We are so pissed with people and their drama-shit attitudes.
Good to know that particular Vod has work in Seattle.
Posted by Zola at 8:31 AM