IT'S FINALLY OVER

We owe the NFL and its minions a great debt of gratitude for Super Bowl XLVIII, a reprise of William Shakespeare’s 16^th century comedy, ‘Much Ado About Nothing’.

After countless hours of post-season, pre-game, in-depth analysis and breakdowns of the league’s best defense squaring off against the league’s best offense, of scores of player interviews, of Beast Mode, Omaha, betting lines, dozens of under-overs, weather forecasts, Wes Welker impersonations of Dark Helmet and the promise of Roger Goodell (gasp!) actually sitting outside while watching the game, what was delivered?

1. A game that was never competitive

2. A demonstration of just how little creativity $4 million per 30-second commercial spot will buy

3. An evening with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, The Drone & Monotone Boys

4. An outstanding reason for watching the new episode of Downton Abbey at 9:00 pm

Thank you. We can all now return to our actual lives.

V - 

IT'S FINALLY HERE

The Super Bowl - er-I mean "The Game,"  (The NFL forbids me to use the SB word) starts about 6:30 tonight. The "Game", that is. The pre-game shows started  two weeks ago. People watch the "Game"  for any number of reasons.
# - For the commercials
# - For the half-time show
# - To see Richard Sherman embarrassed
# - To see Richard Sherman rant after a Seahawk win
# - To hear Erin Andrew's sideline banalities
# - To watch Peyton Manning (That will be the Manning family)
# - To check on their betting squares (Not that anyone bets -Hah!)

# - To actually see and enjoy the game (You know, the weirdos)
Okay, I guess I have to make a pick. I rooted for orange last night, I might as well root for orange tonight.

A very interesting day for Division 1 basketball yesterday. The top 25 ranked teams took a beating the likes of which hasn't happened in a long time, if ever.
#23 Oklahoma
#22 Memphis
#21 Massachusetts
#17 Duke
#14 Wisconsin
#8 Oklahoma State
#7 Michigan State
#6 Kansas
#1 Arizona
All 9 took a licking on "Upset Saturday," which even ESPN will have a tough time marketing as a catch phrase. The new rankings will come out Monday afternoon, and I think the list will have blood stains..

Undefeated Wichita State managed to keep it's unblemished record intact by beating Evansville, which I'm pretty sure is a college, either that or a fraternity. Actually, it is a college, with a student enrollment one-third the size of Oswego State. So Wichita St should move up in the rankings with a cry of, "We're #2...almost."

My cohort in crime, Vod Knockers, suggests that Dick Vitale may have been favoring Duke in the game last night. He wasn't. Dick Vitale only roots for Dick Vitale...baby. Late in the game, Vitale suggested that Coach K should let Jabari Parker work out of the middle. When Parker happened to end up there a few minutes later and scored, Vitale took credit for the move. Between Coach K and Vitale, one of them is pretty smart...and it ain't Vitale.
I've mentioned to Annie-O a couple of times that the student body at Duke's Cameron Indoor Stadium is pretty inventive when it comes to mocking the visiting teams, and they do it without being obscene, well, too obscene. The Dome Arena crowd showed that they can be inventive, too, with signs like, "SYRACUSE IS GOOD!"     Well, I guess inventive is the wrong word.

Interesting fact. The mittens for the US Olympic team were made in China. The backs of the mittens have "GO - USA" stitched on them. Upon closer inspection, that dash really says "home."

***THEY SAID IT***
"A woman in a bikini streaked the Pro Bowl. The league is so desperate for TV ratings she was removed from the field after 45 minutes."  -- Brad Dickson
"American opera star and soprano Renee Fleming will sing the national anthem at this year's Super Bowl. That's one way to start the game on a high note."  -- RJ Currie
" There was just an outdoor NHL game at Yankee Stadium. Idea: keep the penalty box and make A-Rod sit there all next season."  -- Brad Dickson
"A high-school basketball team in Pittsburgh includes four sets of twins, three of which are identical. It's a lot of fun for everybody except the play-by-play announcer who quit at halftime of their second game."  -- Brad Dickson
"At a pre-Super Bowl NY Jets event, GM John Idzik and coach Rex Ryan said they support QB Geno Smith but also said they won’t tolerate behavior that embarrasses the franchise. Apparently the only acceptable way to embarrass the team is on the field."  -- Janice Hough

"A Denver radio station has refused to play any music from Seattle area musicians. Oh yeah?, just try ordering a Denver Omelet in Seattle."  -- TC Chong

CP-
 

GOOD TO BE WRONG

Yes, everyone at the old Kanockers household is happy that Pop picking Duke was just one more made 3 away from being right, including Pop.

Consider, to win by two, Syracuse had to shoot over 57% from the field, 75% from behind the arc and convert 26-32 from the line. That is being pushed to the limit and meeting the challenge.

Every great game has amazing individual story lines and this was no exception. C.J. Fair dropping 28 on 12-20 shooting. Jerami Grant’s (24 pts) devastating mid-range game, huge 10-10 from the foul line and game leading 12 boards was pivotal. Rakeem Christmas’ 9 blocks and 10 rebs frustrated Jabari Parker who eventually fouled out and Tyler Ennis handed out 9 assists and converted 8-8 from the line. Trevor Cooney was solid offensively although he clearly lost his mind in the last 1:30 of regulation – if you watched the game, you know.

Looking at only the SU half of the box score the game looked like it should have been SU by 15 instead of the OT nail biter.  Duke was not without its stars. The Blue Devils hung 89 on a Syracuse defense that has consistently held teams to less than 60. Duke grabbed 18 offensive boards, Parker and Jefferson combining for 11. Rasheed Sulaimon and Andre Dawkins came off the bench to drop a combined 30 on 8-16 shooting from three. The weak links were, surprisingly, Parker (6-16), although he grabbed 9 boards, and Quinn Cook, 2-12 from the field including a disastrous 1- 8 from three.

Unlike the SU team that has stood tall in finishing close games, Duke took advantage of three Orange brain cramps in the final 1:30 of regulation. Following a Parker turnover with SU up 3, and with the Duke defensive working hard to keep the ball out of Tyler Ennis’ hands, Trevor Cooney brought the ball up, dribbled around the perimeter for several seconds, drove wildly to the basket from the right corner, tossed up an ugly, off balance shot that, surprisingly, at least hit the backboard. Duke grabbed the rebound after Cooney’s 14 Second Excursion. Looked like MCW  end game clock management from last season. After Quinn Cook’s two free throws and a Tyler Ennis made jumper (only one of two shots he took in the second half) Cooney fouled Sulaimon on a made 3 that tied the game at 75-75. Fortunately, Sulaimon missed the free throw, and Christmas rebounded.

Jefferson fouled Christmas on the possession. Christmas hit one of two free throws for a 76-75 lead with 30 seconds left on the clock. After a Duke time out, Christmas turned over Dawkins and got the ball to Ennis. Ennis was fouled and converted both free throws for a 78 – 75 lead. Finally, with 4 seconds remaining, SU up 3, Duke in bounded the ball and while SU was unable to foul anybody, Sulaimon drove the ball to the arc and hit a three to tie at the buzzer.

OT was as tight as regulation. With Jefferson and Parker both fouling out Duke had nothing inside. SU scored on three of its  next four possessions on Jerami Grant dunks, all assisted by Ennis. Still, Andre Dawkins scored 8 points on two 3’s and a lay up to give Duke an 87-84 lead with 1:23 remaining.

Ennis hit a pair of FT’s to close to 87-86. After Dawkins missed a three, Jerami Grant hit two FT’s for an 88-87 SU lead. While Rodney Hood missed an overly aggressive dunk attempt, Ennis fouled Sulaimon with 9 seconds left. He hit both FT’s giving Duke the lead, 89-88. SU pulled ahead 90-89 on Tyler Ennis’ two FT’s with 6 seconds remaining.

Then, with SU up 1 and possession, the officials choked. While C.J. Fair dribbled up the right side, two defenders hammered him. One with a two handed push in the small of the back while the other simply ran him over, knocking Fair to the floor.

While Duke defender Dick Vitale called it a clear, intentional foul, the officiating crew retired to the monitor to review the play for a flagrant call. After watching the mugging, the crew called nothing but a common personal. Vitale and McWhoCares readily volunteered that they could easily understand the call. An intentional or flagrant call would mean foul shots and possession effectively securing an SU win, and who would want the game decided that way? As always, no need to let adherence to the rules stand in the way of a potential Duke win.

Fair sank 1 of 2 at the line and Quinn Cook missed a jumper on Duke’s last possession – game over, blood pressure back to nearly normal.

Freak Occurrences

When was the last time Duke played a half without getting into the bonus? Never? (It happened in the first half.)

When was the last time SU won a game by hitting 7-8 at the line in the last 1:11? Never? (Probably.)

When was the last time I listened to Dick Vitale without using the mute button or dropping f-bombs? Not now, not ever!

V -

OPEN YOUR WALLET, PULL UP A CHAIR

Time to recap the recaps of the breakdowns of the recaps of all the exciting events in the run-up to Super Bowl MMXIV.

Let’s start with the … PRO BOWL… proof that the NFL will go to any lengths, regardless of how cheesy, sleazy or phony to filch money from a brain-addled fan base. The best that this charade has to offer is a justification for the values of Andy Griffith reruns. Aunt Bea, Floyd the barber and Barney Fife are far more believable characters than anything the Pro(zac) Bowl offers. This smell-a-thon is the NFL adding insult to injury.

Next… Media Day… when all of the players are required to make themselves available to the hundreds of sports writers, TV blokes and bloggers to provide intensely interesting answers to hundreds of inane questions that have been asked and answered over and over and over and over…

And the biggest story from this ask-all, tell-all look into the players’ and coaches’ thinking about the BIGGEST game of year that has been discussed, analyzed, dissected bisected, and broken-down by, well, everybody? Why, Marshawn ‘Beast Mode’ Lynch being available for 7 ½ minutes to say he has nothing to say.

Never in recorder history has so much airtime and so many written words been devoted to an analysis of… nothing! You are the man, Marshawn. In spite of the fact that Pete Carroll is as crooked as the Tennessee – North Carolina Tail of the Dragon highway, you’ve sold me. Go Seahawks!

 The most amusing pre-Bowl show this week was a rerun of the best Super Bowl commercials of all time. Now there was an hour of your life that you won’t get back. What is really insane… here was a show of commercials that was sponsored by… commercials. As previously noted, you can’t beat the NFL as a commercial delivery system.

It would be unfair to leave Roger ‘The $20 Million Man’ Goodell out of this discussion. Not to be overshadowed by a mere championship football game, Roger took to the podium this week to announce that he intends to triple NFL revenue to $25 Billion by 2017. NFL revenue will then exceed the gross national product of dozens of countries and place it among the corporate giants like McDonalds, Microsoft and Wally-World (soon to be The W-Universe).

Roger, of course, continues to justify the NFL’s tax-exempt status, taxpayer funding of new NFL playgrounds and a cap on payments to brain damaged ex-employees. If a system is successfully screwing players and fans alike, why change it!

Follow this link to watch Roger pile it higher and deeper to avoid answering a direct question from Vernon Davis of the 49ers. Roger should take a lesson from Mashawn: Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool rather than open it and prove you're a lying sack o' crap. 

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/01/a-current-nfl-player-asked-roger-goodell-why-retired-players-dont-get-better-healthcare/ 

So, open your wallet, pull up a chair and let the game begin.

V -

ASB,ATT

...which, following the lead of the networks, means "All Super Bowl, All The Time."

First, the betting line, which is currently Seattle getting 2.5 points. Seems a little weird to me, since it is an accepted premise that defense wins championships, yet here, the NFL's #1 defense, the Seahawks, are the underdog. Yes, the Peyton Manning-led Broncos are the #1 offense, but they will be playing outside in the always nasty New Jersey weather.


The media is trying to build up the game as cornerback Richard Sherman vs. quarterback Peyton Manning. It probably won't come down to those two because there are too many other factors. If the Seahawks win, there will be a mad rush by reporters to interview Sherman to see whom he might call "mediocre" this time.

A thanks to Janice Hough, Leftcoastsportsbabe, for this one:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1603

My prediction: Doritos will have the best commercial, and Budweiser, the second best.

...And back to baseball.

Milwaukee Brewer announcer, Bob ("Juuuust a little bit outside") Uecker, says he will be cutting back on doing play-by-play at road games this year, but will do all the Brewer home games.Uecker has been Milwaukee's announcer for 42 years. The club announced that it will be erecting a second statue of him outside the stadium this year. Uecker commented that both statues will have better fielding pcts. than he did in his career, but he'll have the better batting average because, "They take too many pitches."

The broken bat that Roger Clemens flung at Mike Piazza during a World Series game, is up for auction.  The current bid is in excess of $4400. I have no idea how to comment on this.

NYS Congressman Michael Grimm, threatened to throw a reporter over the balcony during a press conference for asking an "inappropriate question." Grimm justified his threat by saying, "Why not? He's just a mediocre reporter."

Michael Young has announced his retirement, as has Lance Berkman. Why won't Manny Ramirez?

The Dodgers have announced that they will have two different road uniforms this year, in an attempt to confuse the opposition. The only one confused will probably be Tommy Lasorda.

Pitchers and catchers are just two weeks away.

***THEY SAID IT***
"First a Florida manatee on a six-year winning streak is picking the Broncos to win the Super Bowl — and now Eli, an ape at Salt Lake City’s Hogle Zoo, is putting a similar six-year streak on the line by picking the Seahawks.  What’s next, a prescient Pennsylvania porcupine to break the tie?"  -- Dwight Perry
"There will be increased security at the upcoming Sochi Olympics.  For example, downhill skiers will now slalom through metal detectors."  -- Greg Cote
"Good thing they didn’t schedule the Super Bowl somewhere with really arctic conditions, like Atlanta."  -- Janice Hough

"Phoenix Coyotes will be changing their name to the Arizona Coyotes next season. Citizens of Arizona are petitioning the team to reconsider and call themselves the New Mexico Coyotes."  TC Chong

"I'm trying to confirm the mayor of Omaha tried to make a Super Bowl bet with the mayor of Seattle but was told, "We realize Peyton Manning is important to you, but, technically, your city is not in the game."  -- Brad Dickson

"There are over 18,000 Super Bowl tickets still available for purchase. The League is scrambling to sign up as many Academy Awards “seat fillers” as they can find before Sunday."  -- TC Chong

"The first Rangers/Devils game at Yankee Stadium had to be delayed because of glare. That is why they should have played at Citi Field. Because the sun never shines there."  -- Marc Ragovin

Stan Kegel and "The Humerus News," where are you?

CP-
 

Cluck, Cluck, Cluck

Having guests over to watch  The Real Gladiators of New Jersey this Sunday or do you need to bring a dish to the Annual  Derangement MMXIV?

Here's your opportunity to do something socially redeeming and prepare chicken wings correctly and most tastefully - without making the dumb-ass mistake of deep frying.

V -

Roasted Chicken Wings With Buffalo Sauce
Yield:  4 to 5 servings (20 pieces)
Time: 1¼ to 1½ hours, mostly unattended

Oil for greasing the oven rack
10 chicken wings
Salt and black pepper
¼ cup (½ stick) butter
2 tablespoons Frank’s Red Hot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce or other hot sauce
1 tablespoon white vinegar

1. Heat the oven to 450°F. Lay a sheet of aluminum foil on the lowest rack of the oven. Remove the middle oven rack and grease it with oil.

2. Cut off the small tip of each wing; discard or keep for stock. Cut through each wing bone at the joint to separate it into two pieces. Season the wings with salt and pepper.

3. Arrange the wings on a microwave-safe plate. Microwave on high for 3 minutes. Turn the wings over and microwave on high for another 2 minutes.

4. Arrange the wings on the greased oven rack so that they aren’t touching. Return the rack to the middle of the oven—making sure there’s foil beneath all the wings to catch their fat—and lower the temperature to 350° F.

5. Roast the wings for 40 minutes. Turn them over, then roast for another 20 minutes.  At this point, they will be golden, crispy, and still juicy inside. If that’s how you like them, remove them from the oven. If you like them well done, roast for another 15 to 20 minutes.

6. Put the butter in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. When it melts, stir in the hot sauce and vinegar. Serve the wings with the Buffalo sauce on the side.

OINK

It's 11:15 pm and SU has closed out Wake Forest in one of the ugliest basketball games of the season.

No one should have to endure watching 63 foul shots in a 40 minute game. Thankfully, both teams combined to miss 23 of them, many the front ends of a 1-and-1, or they would still be at the line after midnight.

Both teams were equally inept from long range combining for a hideous 6-34 from 3.

In a classic case of putting lipstick on a pig, with this oinker,  Syracuse matched its best ever start at 20 - 0

Orange fans will be waiting for news on Tyler Ennis' ankle with Duke playing in the Dome on Saturday.  It will take a stronger performance for SU to get win 21 and it definitely won't happen without a healthy Ennis.

My pick - Duke.

V -

GOOD WITH THE BAD

Duke ran Pitt off of its home court last night.

When Jabari Parker is the least efficient offensive forward, shooting 7-19, on a night when you win by 15, on the road, against a ranked opponent, you know others have had an outstanding game.

In addition to Rodney Hood (13 pts, 4 assts) and Amile Jefferson (14 pts, 10 rebs), guard Andre Dawkins was a story, scoring 20 on 6 - 7 shooting from 3, in 15  minutes of play. Quinn Cook was solid (9 pts, 6 assts). Parkers game-leading 11 boards were impressive.

Picasners everywhere are looking forward to seeing Hood, Jefferson, and Parker play against the Syracuse zone. Facing a team capable of shooting over 50% from 3, a highly skilled, quick front line and tenacious defenders will be  a serious test of any holes in SU's game.

Still, the Duke head coach is the guy that the NCAA pushes in front of cameras everywhere to occasionally assure all that piles of money have not had any negative influence on university and college campuses - regardless of any scandals.

SU- Miami Highlights: 1. Tyler Ennis, 2. Coach Jim Boeheim - while much improved in recent seasons, with 5:54 remaining in the Miami game, during a time out, the camera caught the pinky on his right hand slip into, and then out of, his right nostril. First time this year I've seen a Complete Entry & Exit. The team played a strong last 5:54 so, whatever works, 3. Jamie Dickson's comb-over stayed in tact.

Super Bowl MMXIV: How many Rayfield Wright's will be playing football in New Jersey this weekend?

V -

HEY ERIN. ASK THIS ONE.

 Roger Goodell, Commissioner of the tax-exempt NFL who will be making $20 million during the last year of his current contract, is the man with the answers.

What better way to "Respect the Shield" than answering this question during the run-up to the Super Bowl, a game I'm sure he will enjoy.

“No, I want to know why!”  (click)

V -

ONLY ONE MORE WEEK TO GO

...and then the Superbowl commercials will air. Oh, they might show us a football game too, if they can fit it in. It's become such an "event," that it's really not about the game anymore. Announcers, analysts and sideline reporters will fall all over themselves to inundate us with facts and figures totally irrelevant to the game. Who cares what the Bronco's record was on  third down, with 8 or more yards to go, on a slippery field, going into the wind...well, you get the idea. We will be told every last detail about the lives of any player who shows up in the game. I don't care what his background is. Just tell us who made the tackle, if you can find the time. I'm sure the coaches are as repulsed as I am to have to listen to Erin Andrews ask him if he's wearing long underwear as he runs out onto the field. I MIGHT be interested in what kind of underwear Erin is wearing, but that should be on a different program.

You can bet on anything for the Superbowl, from something like who scores first, or will there be a safety right down to who has the best touchdown dance. Here's some you won't see:
 
THREE! The over/under on how many times we will be forced to see the replay of Richard Sherman's post-game interview where he trashed 49ers wide receiver, Michael Crabtree.

TWO!  The over/under on the number of times we will be shown pictures of the three Manning quarterbacks together, Archie, Peyton and Eli.

MILLIONS! The over/under on the number of viewers who will mute the sound by the third quarter. I've been practicing for a week now, so I could hit that button in the dark.

How long before Seahawks coach Pete Carroll throws a tantrum on the sidelines?

The game might not turn out to be much, but the commercials will be entertaining.

What special meal will Annie-O prepare to celebrate the game (Depends on what fast-food coupons she has.)

Thoughts on the Syracuse-Miami basketball game. It's been like all year: Syracuse falls behind a team they should beat easily, but they never panic. Nobody gets out of control, they just quietly settle down and win the game. A different guy steps up to make the big play or score the tough basket. Tyler Ennis is becoming one of the top point guards in Division I. Are there any worse announcers than the two drones who did this game? They were so busy  giving us worthless info, they neglected to tell us "minor" little facts like, who was the fouls on, how many fouls does a player have, and who made a turnover. Every time they disagreed with a referee's decision, the announcers turned out to be wrong. Of course, they favored Miami the whole game, so that played into their opinions. Are they really going to work the Syracuse-Duke game next week? Where's that mute button?

It's been four days now, since the Yankees signed Masahiro Tanaka and the analysts have spoken. Tanaka will either be great, mediocre or a bust, depending on who you listen to.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Sports Media not sure how it's going to fit Superbowl coverage into just two short weeks."  -- TheOnion.com
"The first Pro Bowl draft was held last week. You think a lot of people try to get out of jury duty ...
To give you an idea how many players passed on playing, this year it’ll be an eight-man game."  -- Brad Dickson
"The East Coast has been hit with Blizzard-like conditions, less than two weeks before Super Bowl XLVIII in East Rutherford, N.J. The Seahawks really ought to do the right thing and and offer to let them play the big game in Seattle."  -- Dwight Perry
"Tiger Woods missed the secondary cut at this weekend’s tournament at Torrey Pines.  Which means at least a few hundred more casual American sports fans will be forced to watch the NFL Pro Bowl."  -- Janice Hough
"UFC champ Ronda Rousey said she secretly wants to have “57 babies” with retired MMA great Fedor Emelianenko. NBA players were shocked: "Having kids with just one person?"  -- RJ Currie
" Whoever introduced Archie and Olivia Manning has now officially cost the Patriots four championships."  -- Mike Vaccaro
"In Madison Square Garden, patrons honored King’s legacy by booing the Knicks and purchasing 10 cents worth of beer for nine bucks."  -- Phil Mushnick

CP-
 

One Down, So Many to Go

Yes, the Yankees signed Tanaka for a butt load of money, giving hope to their anxious fans everywhere. With the addition of one more starting pitcher, a 2^nd baseman, 3^rd baseman, Teixeira remembering how to hit, answered prayers for a healthy Jeter and they might be decent enough to watch.

George Steinbrenner twice removed from baseball (but rich enough to buy his way back in, twice) and convicted felon, the man who hired A-Rod; I’m betting we will never see him in front of a jury again.

But it’s a great day to be a Republican Governor, former Republican Governor or aspiring Republican Governor, everybody.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie continues to make the news because of actions consistent with being, well, a New Jersey politician or Jersey mob boss. While claiming to be a small government conservative, Christie appears committed to keeping GOP-reviled federal workers on the payroll. In his case, the FBI.

Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, the Republican who served from 2010 to 2014, was charged in federal court Tuesday afternoon for illegally accepting gifts from a businessman who sought special treatment from the state. McDonnell's wife was also indicted. The alleged gifts include clothes, money, trips, golf accessories, and private plane rides. McDonald, another self-styled fiscal conservative, was elected the same day as another Republican governor who's hard on his luck, Chris Christie. McDonald no longer shares Christie’s FBI enthusiasm.

David Vitter, the junior senator from Louisiana, has announced his intention to run for Governor. His credentials are impressive having magically survived a prostitution scandal and dead madam. Vitter has been described as “…a nasty piece of work… He doesn’t seem to like anybody. He loathes senior senator Mary Landrieu, he detests Governor Bobby Jindal, he despises the media. They all pretty much hate him back.” That should all play well in the bayou.

Vitter’s views on the FBI are not known. 

LIKE WE DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS COMING.

Yes, the Yanks signed Japanese ace Masahiro Tanaka for 7 years and $155 million. That's $22 million a year. It's still dwarfed by Clayton Kershaw's $215 million deal, which is a difference of about $8 million a year. Or, to put it into perspective: 2 infielders and a relief pitcher.

David Schoenfield of ESPN, says the Yanks are still "The Evil Empire." I say, "HOO-RAY!"  Adding Tanaka doesn't make the Yanks a cinch 1st place finish; there are still a couple of holes and not just a few question marks, but Cashman did go as far as he could with what was available. Bottom line, I'm sure 'The Boss' is looking down (or up) and smiling.

Tanaka won't be the only story line coming out of Florida this spring. Derek Jeter will always own some of the headlines. The press still follows him around. There was a headline earlier this week: "Jeter resumes on-field workouts in Tampa." They even published the number of ground balls he fielded (108, for those of you who have to know.) As Joe DiMaggio once said, "It's great to be young and a Yankee." Jeter's no longer young, but he'll always be a Yankee.

A-Rod sued his own Union for supposedly not doing everything they could to protect him. Maybe so, they were probably laughing too hard. Some players wanted to kick him out, but union bylaws prevented it. Plexico Burress shot himself in the leg; A-Rod's shot himself in both feet -- and his agent's feet, too.We may have to read about him for a while yet, but I'm betting we'll never see him on a major league field again.

Renee Fleming, the opera singer who grew up in Rochester, New York, will sing the National Anthem at this years Super Bowl. Since teams from Washington State and Colorado are playing, two states where marijuana is legal, wouldn't it make more sense if it was the Grateful Dead or Keith Richards?

***THEY SAID IT***
"Reuters reports that during the recent heat wave, day after day Australians are seeing dead bats. "We can relate," say Houston Astros fans"  -- RJ Currie
"The new Cubs mascot was obviously designed to appeal to all Cubs fans between the ages of three and three and a half."  -- Brad Dickson
"Vladimir Putin, who wants Russian population growth, is claiming that homosexuality decreases the birth rate. If Putin really wants more babies born in Russia, maybe he needs to work on getting an NBA team."  -- Janice Hough
"Guinness confirms that two men at a Las Vegas electronics store set a world record by watching TV for 87 consecutive hours—it turned out to be the last two minutes of an NBA game"  -- Bill Littlejohn
"Prediction: Super Bowl turning point comes when Peyton Manning switches from "Omaha" to "Truth or Consequences, New Mexico" in his play calling and draws delay-of-game penalty."  -- Dwight Perry
"American Country Awards co-host Danica Patrick joked about her "checkered past." If we’re talking NASCAR, the closest she gets to checkered cloth is at an Italian restaurant."  -- RJ Currie
"Richard Sherman is a top student at Stanford, where he's close to completing his Masters. Here's one commencement speech you don't wanna miss."  -- Brad Dickson
"If MLB starts allowing advertising on it's jerseys, there's a perfect fit of a sponsor sitting there for A-Rod: Target."  -- Dwight Perry
" At the AFC Championship Game, the Omaha Convention & Visitors Bureau carried Peyton Manning off the the field. They it had to bring him back because it was only the third quarter."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

Sunday Services

New England v. Denver

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,

Snork.

Social media brimming with posts from Brady-haters.

San Francisco v. Seattle

Violently pornographic

Incredible athletes and vicious thugs make remarkable plays

Incredible athletes and vicious thugs beat the shit out of each other

Officials embarrassed by calls they make and calls the don't

The cast of Braveheart screams for blood at 108db.

In two weeks time, sweet Jesus, the Christians and lions face off in New Jersey,

Roman numerals explained.

Another national anthem,

Another opportunity to... "Get back in there and sell, Sell, SELL!"

Amen.

V-

THE WORLD OF SPORTS

## Syracuse won another close one in the dome. The Orange had two things going for them last night, The dome crowd and Tyler Ennis.  CJ Fair notwithstanding, Ennis may be the piece that takes Syracuse all the way.

## Vod suggests locking announcers Doris Burke & Dick Vitale in a closet...forever. I don't know about Burke, but Vitale never needed an actual game to announce one. And while she's changing her image, Burke might want to consider a new hairstyle, too.

## The Yanks signed one-year deals with Gardner, Robertson and  Nova, none for more than $5.6 million.

## Giancarlo Stanton, the Miami Marlins best player (& maybe one of the NL's best) to a one-year deal for $6.5 million.  Clayton Kershaw was quoted as saying, "Really? $6.5 million? Is that for two months?"

## Finally, an explanation for Dennis Rodman's frequent trips to North Korea. He just checked into rehab for alcohol addition.

## This is interesting. In an ESPN sports poll, 71% voted AGAINST banning home plate collisions. (A little less than 50,000 votes) What sport did they think they were talking about? Professional wrestling?

## The Cubs have decided to put a mascot into the mix. 'Clark the Cub' isn't making any new friends. Cub fans don't like the name or the fact that Clark wears a shirt but no pants. Cub fans are not shy about expressing their feelings. Whoever puts on this costume might not make it through the first home series.

## This just in: Clayton Kershaw is still rich.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Charles Barkley appeared in the Patriots’ locker room to inspire the team to win a title. Were Dan Marino and Anna Kournikova unavailable?"  -- Brad Dickson
"Unemployed Detroit resident dismayed to learn job opening is with the Lions.”  -- The Onion.Com
"The Houston Rockets scored 73 points in the first half — and then just 19 in the second — in a 104-92 loss to Oklahoma City last week. Bet Kevin McHale never uses that halftime speech again."  -- Dwight Perry
"An arbitrator’s ruling means Alex Rodriguez is suspended for the entire 2014 season. About the only place you’ll see A-Rod play is in the tabloids."  -- RJ Currie
" New Vanderbilt coach Derek Mason says he wants the Commodores to someday play for the Southeastern Conference championship. Making me think that he left Stanford with a prescription for medical marijuana."  -- Janice Hough
" The Fort Lauderdale Strikers of the NASL traded a player to San Antonio in exchange for hotel accommodations on a road trip. What does this do to an athlete’s confidence? “Who’d you get for me? Johnson?” “Nah, a couple of rooms at the Ramada.”  -- Brad Dickson
"Too bad Major League Baseball didn’t come up with instant-replay challenges 30 years ago.  The thought of Billy Martin kicking dirt on the wheels of a camera tripod? Priceless."  -- Dwight Perry

CP-
 

TURN IT DOWN!

Saturday's ESPN broadcast of the SU – Pitt basketball game was a remake of Clint “Never Saw a Chair I Couldn’t Talk To” Eastwood's  Italian-oater “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly".

(The Good)  Syracuse and Pittsburg put on a show of smash-mouth, old-time Big East basketball, the winner holding sole possession of first place in the ACC.

Rakeem Christmas was Everyman for SU with 10 points, 4 rebs, 2 steals, 3 blocks, and an assist.

Trevor Cooney (The Bad) was brutal. He shot poorly and Boeheim chewed off both of Cooney’s ears for terrible outside defense. He did grab a huge defensive rebound, his only one of the game, with 1:07 remaining and SU up one. On the ensuing possession, Tyler Ennis (game high 16 points) scored what proved to be the winning basket.

(The Ugly) If ESPN can hire game announcers as capable as the play then discerning fans will unmute the audio. Doris Burke and “the other guy” were simply horrible and blabbed interminably about anything and everything except what was happening on the court. Doris has been an acolyte of the nonstop drivel mode of broadcasting since her arrival via women’s basketball and “the other guy” who, one would imagine, was hired to be the play by play announcer, was, in a word, clueless. 

Imagine locking Doris and Dick Vitale in a closet… and just leave them there… forever.

During a timeout I clicked into the Oklahoma State Kansas game. I was shocked at what I heard; the names of the player(s) controlling the ball, the name of the defender(s), a description of the on –court action, who shot the ball and who rebounded. Amazing!

Final word. There is no doubt that without Tyler Ennis SU would not be undefeated, first in the ACC and ranked 2^nd in the country. Jabari Parker and Julius Randle are excellent at what they do. Ennis does more. 

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JULIE, WHERE ART THOU?

Baseball is a dead issue for the next two months. A-Rod’s suit is filed in federal court and will languish there. The Dodgers signed Kershaw for a mountain of money for seven long years joining the Yankees and Angels as the dumbest franchises on the planet. Instant replay has been expanded for 2014 so we’ll lose one of the most entertaining aspects of the game – arguing about the ‘would'a, should'a, could'a’ impact of blown calls. Sooo… since Super Bowl MMMMMMMMMIV is coming up, it’s time to pay at least a little attention to our beloved contemporary gladiators in the NFL.

I’ve been watching the NFL since 1955 and was a devout NY Giants fan who watched Y. A. Title pass for seven touchdowns against Washington and watched the Bears open up his noggin in the 1963 championship game; heard announcer Chris Schenkel excitedly yell on national television, “He (Del Shofner) faked him out of his jock!” on a touchdown scoring pass play; watched Johnny Unitas snatch victory from the Giants in 1958 and watched Rosie Greer meet Jim Brown head-up at the line of scrimmage and end the great one’s day – and also watched Brown torment the Giants more often that not.

The only thing I liked more about the NFL was Julie London’s Marlboro commercials. Julie brought the phrase ‘smokin’ hot’ to life vamping carcinogens in a black stiletto gown during NFL broadcasts. Time outs with Julie’s commercials beat the hell out of the bozo-come-lately Marlboro Man. But I digress.

Things, as they will,  changed. After 1963 the Giants were lousy for 20 plus years and I did not have the stamina of a Cubs fan. During the 1982 strike I found that there is life on a Sunday afternoon outside of a football stadium equally or more satisfying that watching  the NFL blood sport. After taking almost 25 years off after the Giants 1987 Super Bowl win I got sucked back in, and... quite the scene.

Notwithstanding Chuck Bednarik’s 1960 tackle that nearly killed Frank Gifford, bigger, faster, stronger roiders are routinely blowing up people with increasingly more violent hits. Former players are suffering from severe brain injuries and the debilitating effects of repeated injuries and long-term addiction to pain medications.

Players shooting themselves while carrying concealed weapons. Players murdering others with weapons not quite so concealed.

Asinine on-field behavior from primping players smooching with their own biceps, dancing, and prancing, spastically gyrating in the end zone, and imitating Superman have become a league staple. No doubt the 2015 Super Bowl will feature as much vaudeville and hideously rendered national anthems as football .

Receivers made an art form out of whining, begging for a flag for holding, pass interference or being called a bad name on every play.

Officials reside in the Land of the Hopelessly Lost. Blown and missed calls have now determined who goes to the playoffs and who does not. There is little consistency from crews about high hits, targeted hits, helmet-to-helmet hits, who infringed on the neutral zone or was drawn off sides. Challenges are made by the high tech process of throwing a small red rag on the field, sometimes seen, sometimes ignored. When seen, and a play is in fact subject to review, an official huddles beneath a hood on the sidelines to interminably review video and render a unilateral decision. Smooth.

The quality of the product basically stinks in many cities: Atlanta, Buffalo, Cleveland, Houston, Jacksonville, New York, Oakland, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Tennessee, and Washington. Add in the mediocre .500 teams and you have a total of 17 teams, more than half the league, that cause consistent visual trauma.

And Fantasy Football. This may be the saving grace of the NFL. With the emergence of ubiquitous fantasy football leagues with drafts, trades and sophisticated statistics, there is absolutely no need to support a given team. All that matters is the individual performance of players on your fantasy roster. Tony Romo becomes the favorite of a Giant fan who has him on his fantasy roster? How post-modern!

Apparently what remains the same is the attraction of commercials. While Julie held my rapt attention, Super Bowl commercials now have their own shows providing breakdowns, analysis and interactive viewer polling. Back in the day, water consumption from toilet flushes spiked during commercials. No longer. More than ever, the NFL is a commercial delivery system.

This weekend, proving there is no accounting for taste, I’ll watch  New England at Denver where Brady and Manning will more than likely act like adults on-field before watching San Francisco at Seattle, a game that includes Colin “I Am So in Love with My Bicep” Kaepernick and Pete “To Dirty to Coach in The Corrupt  NCAA” Carroll.

In both cases I’ll click out of all commercials. Without Julie, what’s the point of watching?

V - 

HERE AND THERE

## MLB has instituted replays in the game, but can't agree on the wording prohibiting plate collisions with the Players Union. So they want to get the calls right but are still arguing over keeping the players safe. Which will lead to calls like, "The catcher is still down, Pete. Yeah, but they got the call right, Jack."

## I thought we were done with this guy, but no. Tim McCarver will be broadcasting baseball again this summer, this time locally for the St. Louis Cards. Take heart Missouri residents, it's only for 30 games. He's like a bad back: it only hurts when you breathe.

## In the aftermath of the Clayton Kershaw signing ($215 million for 7 years), the Dodgers announced they are cutting their scouting department by 50%. GM Ned Colletti was overheard to say, "We don't need more scouts, we need more accountants." (It's not true but you have to wonder)

## While being interviewed, Yankee's owner Hal Steinbrenner said he considers A-Rod  "an asset." In the Jason Bourne series, an asset was a hired killer. I guess Hal knew what he was talking about.

## This is new. Opposing teams often engage in friendly banter before a playoff game, with mayors betting each other with local products as the wager. But now, the "banter" between San Francisco and Seattle, doesn't seem so friendly. 49er fans bought a billboard outside the Seahawks stadium ribbing the Seahawks. The Seahawks front office refuses to sell tickets to anyone with a California address.  Seattle's cornerback, Richard Sherman, says, "There's no love lost and there's no love found."  You're telling me. I hope the game is half as good as the pre-game shenanigans.

## Speaking of shenanigans, what was the purpose of Peyton Manning's yelling. "Omaha! Omaha!" before each snap last week. I wonder what bet he lost.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Jerry Jones and Tony Romo walk into a bar...to watch the playoffs."  -- Bob Chavez
"Things are going so bad for N.J. Gov. Chris Christie, he called A-Rod and offered to swap scandals."  -- Brad Dickson
"Mahiouba has been crowned Most Beautiful Camel in the annual Abu Dhabi pageant. To some, Most beautiful camel is an oxymoron, like most outstanding Houston Astro."  -- RJ Currie
" Congress passed a $1.1 trillion spending bill: “As a side note, the House will now be known as the Yankees."  -- Mike Hart, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
"Seattle and Denver — whose states legalized recreational marijuana on Jan. 1 — will host the NFC and AFC title games on Sunday. Defensive coordinators are bracing for a bevy of second-hand smoke screens."  -- Dwight Perry
"A B.C. study says individuals who experience a lot of failure have greater appreciation for life's little moments. When Tony Romo heard this he said, "Look! A rainbow." -- RJ Currie
"Never doubt the power of prayers by comedians, I used to ask God that someday I’d make as much money as Alex Rodriguez, and today that dream came true."  -- Argus Hamilton
Avalanche winger  Ryan O'Reill injured his shoulder in a team hug. My wife, an R.N, says it's common for a man to get hurt that way — especially if he's hugging another woman."  -- RJ Currie
" Much controversy over the Seahawks not selling playoff tickets to Californians. Actually after watching him on the sidelines last weekend it would make more sense for Seattle to ban coffee shops from selling to Jim Harbaugh."  --  Janice Hough

"The Canucks have lost 7 of their last 8 games. Their best on ice plus-minus rating to date is 0, held jointly by the national anthem singer and the Zamboni driver."  -- TC Chong

"Manning is using “Omaha” as an play call at the line of scrimmage because the league would not allow him to use “Papa Johns”.  -- TC Chong

CP-

WHAT ELSE IS NEW - PART II

Vod has documented the corruption in "amateur" sports, but the professional teams have no clue what to do with the income earned up front. There are a number of athletes who will be into their 40's and still pulling down 8-figure salaries. And you can't just put this on the Yankee's head. Seattle got into the act with Cano's contract, but now the new "Evil Empire" has arisen on the west coast.

The L.A. Dodgers have agreed to pay Clayton Kershaw $45,500...a game! For seven years! The deal is $215 million for 7 years, and based on his record for the last four years, that's what it works out to. He's a pitcher. They get hurt all the time. Suppose he needs Tommy John surgery some time? He going to miss a full year, even though he could probably buy the hospital that does the surgery. If that happens, the Dodgers pay $30 million for nothing. Since A-Rod is due to miss all of 2014, maybe Clayton will loan him a couple of mil.

$25 million for A-Rod.
$30 million for Kershaw
$24 million for Cano
$24 million for Albert Pujols
These are all one year salaries.

It's like Monopoly money to these teams.

CP-

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

There are scholarship athletes with extraordinary academic deficiencies in the hundreds of private and public universities in the NCAA Football Championship Subdivision and Division 1 basketball schools.

Earlier in her career as UNC learning specialist, Mary Willingham was stunned when a scholarship basketball player came to her office for help with his class work. He was unable to read or write.

Of 183 athletes in revenue-generating sports admitted to UNC between 2004 and 2012, approximately 60% were reading between the fourth and eighth grade reading levels and almost 10% were reading below a third grade level.

University of Oklahoma professor Gerald Gurney found that about 10% of revenue-sport athletes there were reading below a fourth-grade level.

CNN research reported that these cases are more the norm than the exception. According to academic experts, the threshold for being college-literate is a score of 400 on the SAT critical reading or writing test. Many student-athletes scored in the 200s and 300s on the SAT critical reading test -- a threshold that experts said was an elementary reading level and too low for college classes. The lowest score possible on that part of the SAT is 200, and the national average is 500.

Schools have built enormously profitable business models around basketball and football and this model includes aggressively recruiting and signing ‘athletes’ to fill the rosters and to win.

It’s no secret. Everyone knows. Faculty have spoken up about illiterate athletes pushed through with passing grades to keep up their eligibility to play, while their reading was little addressed.

Reactions range from outrage that this is allowed to continue to outrage that there is any suggestion that the practice be stopped and deny a college education to someone who, otherwise, has not earned the opportunity (but can help the team win).

The most vested stakeholders, the schools earning tens of millions of dollars through their ‘revenue generating’ sports, the NCAA charged with protecting the best interests of ‘student-athletes’ and negotiating lucrative television contracts, media companies paying billions for hugely profitable content and fans flocking to stadiums and arenas in growing numbers are neck deep in supporting the current arrangements and quick to deflect, repudiate, or deny the truth in any critcism.

Gurney, who looked into the situation at the University of Oklahoma, put it bluntly: "College presidents have put in jeopardy the academic credibility of their universities just so we can have this entertainment industry. ... The NCAA continually wants to ignore this fact, but they are admitting students who cannot read.

"College textbooks are written at the ninth-grade level, so we are putting these elite athletes into classes where they can't understand the textbooks. Imagine yourself sitting in a class where nothing makes sense."

That’s exactly how I feel researching the responses from the NCAA and D1 administrations.

The CNN report concluded, “U.S. Rep. Charlie Dent of Pennsylvania introduced legislation in the House last year that calls for a complete overhaul of the NCAA. When he talked to CNN, he cited the lack of consistency in the way recent NCAA investigations into various improprieties were handled at Auburn, Florida State, Miami, North Carolina, Ohio State and Penn State.”

"I think (the NCAA) needs to be looked at. I think they need to be reined in," Dent said.

Mary Willingham went on the trip to Washington and said she came back feeling that they could make some progress in bringing change.

Others aren't so confident that a beast as big as collegiate athletics can be tamed.”

V -

READ THIS

http://deadspin.com/major-league-baseballs-war-on-drugs-is-an-immoral-shit-1501305715