Saturday, December 14, 2013

WHAT'S THAT SMELL? NO, IT'S NOT NEW JERSEY




You never have far to look to find a reason, or reasons, to be thoroughly disgusted with MLB.

Next spring we will be treated to the Hall of Fame induction of Bobby Cox, Tony LaRussa and Joe Torre, three managers who thrived and prospered during the heydays of baseball’s PED epidemic.

ESPN.s Rock Reilly summed it up perfectly. “You could build a wing with the admitted and suspected drug cheats they won with: A-Rod, Roger Clemens (Torre), Jason Giambi (Torre and La Russa), McGwire, Jose Canseco (La Russa), Melky Cabrera (Torre and Cox), David Justice (Torre and Cox), Andy Pettite (Torre), Manny Ramirez (Torre, with the Dodgers) and Sheffield (Torre and Cox.)

“If we get really lucky, maybe disgraced HGH pitcher Darren Holmes will show up. He played under all three of them!

“It's just another year in the Hall of Farce, where the codes of conduct shift like beach sand; where the rules for one set of men are ignored for another; where PED poppers can never enter, but the men who turned their backs to the cheating get gleaming, bronze plaques.

“Hail The Great Enablers!”

Cox, LaRussa and Torre are far from alone in pulling off their great Sgt. Schultz cabaret act pleading, “I see nothing!” while Hogan’s Heroes befuddled stalag commandant Col. Klink, the equivalent of MLB’s ever so astute owners.

Their denials of never having seen any evidence of PED use doesn’t pass the most minimal sniff test as players ballooned into Hulks, baseballs soared out of stadiums in unprecedented numbers, and when questioned by congressional committees, Sammy Sosa forgot how to speak English and Mark McGwire refused to talk about the past. I’m sure the complete lack of awareness, or abject stupidity, of both managers and owners had nothing to do with the enormous spike in attendance and revenue they enjoyed during the epidemic.

Reilly got it right, “Remember, kids: If you play the game under even a single cloud of suspicion, you're out. Manage it under one? Come on in and pull up a plaque!”

SHOUT OUTS

Hey Randy…

With typical Yankee condensation, Yankee team president Randy Levine said he feels bad for the five-time All-Star second baseman, who this week finalized a 10-year, $240 million deal with the Seattle Mariners, because I think he's disappointed he's not a Yankee. Yo, Levine, Cano has 70 million reasons to be a very happy guy.


Dear Dwight, Janice, et al…

Dwight Perry, Janice Hough and several dozen sports writers, bloggers and “humorists” have had a field day ridiculing MLB for proposing a rules change to eliminate violent home plate collisions. I wholeheartedly support their clever efforts. There’s nothing like a little bone-crushing, career-ending violence to spice up an event and take our minds off the wave of violence inundating our culture. Thanks for the comic relief.







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