Saturday, December 21, 2013

IT'S BOWL SEASON

The avalanche of year-end bowl games are due to start any minute. You can find any number of articles that list the various games along with their various corporate sponsors. There will also be some that will give you a scouting report and even make predictions.

Before you get too tired of them, you should know that there are a few lesser known Bowls that haven't gotten a lot of publicity.

The Preparation H Finger Bowl  The location of the game hasn't been announced, but it's expected to be somewhere in the deep south..
The Bean Burrito Aroma Bowl  This will be in Chicago - the Windy City, of course.
The Athletic Supporters Bowl  This year's game will be in Jockstrap, Kansas, and feature two teams with a lot of  high voices
The Draftdodgers Bowl  This game will be played somewhere along the Canadian border and features two teams with strong running games.
The Roughriders Bowl  This is the first bowl game featuring two ladies teams. Both will be showing off their new leather uniforms.
The Ketchup Bowl   BOTH teams start out behind 14-0 (Think about it)
A disappointing note:
This years Poison Ivy Bowl has been scratched.

***BASEBALL NEWS***
## Curt Schilling has been name to replace Orel Hersheiser in the ESPN booth for next years baseball games. At least Schilling won't put us to sleep like his predecessor did. Schilling will always be definite in his pronouncements. Wrong, but definite.
## Kevin Youkilis has decided to give it one more year. It's in Japan, where facial hair is allowed. A year with the carefully groomed Yankees proved that sometimes, facial hair is a good thing. I wonder if the Japanese team had to pay New York a posting fee?
## This is strange. Grant Balfour agreed to terms with the Baltimore Orioles, contingent on him passing his physical. After the physical, the Orioles backed out of the deal. Balfour's agents claimed he passed with flying colors. What did the Orioles see that the doctors didn't?
## Carlos Beltran was introduced to the press yesterday, holding up his new uniform, number 36. Beltran says he's always wanted to be a Yankee ever since he was a little boy and he's thrilled to finally be with the team. He then knelt down and kissed Brian Cashman's World Series ring.

[By the way, most of this was sarcasm]

***THEY SAID IT***
"The nickname of Duke's basketball bench boss is Coach 'K,' short for Krzyzewski. The last time I tried spelling it I got irritable vowel syndrome"  -- RJ Currie
"An "unidentified bidder" paid $10,877.77 for beard shavings from World Series MVP David Ortiz. I gather he’s "unidentified" so his wife doesn't find out what he did with the kids' tuition money."  -- Brad Dickson
" Looks like the wolves finally got to Mack Brown’s door, forcing his ouster as football coach at Texas. Just call him Mack the Knifed."  -- Dwight Perry
"Only one more shopping day until the first NCAA football FBS bowl game of the year. And if you know the name of the game, and who’s playing, and you’re not an alum of either team…. you probably have two much time on your hands."  -- Janice Hough
"Some interpretations of Mayan prophecy have the world ending this December. In related news, Heidi Klum just announced she will no longer model lingerie."  -- RJ Currie
"Plan to watch Nebraska-Georgia if you don't mind reruns. Also, look for the contingent of Husker fans who travel to the game. They'll be in row 23, seats four, five and six."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-
 




























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