Wednesday, February 02, 2011


In the Yankees' case, it's Pitchers, Catchers and Wheelchairs.

The Yanks have two spots open in their starting rotation (assuming Burnett lasts the season) and they have this to choose from:
** A 24-year old rookie with 42 innings of ML experience, Ivan Nova
** A 30-year old journeyman, Sergio Mitre, whose best asset is Brian Cashman's undying love
** 30-year old Mark Pryor, a former phenom who hasn't pitched in the Big Leagues since 2006
** 37-year old Bartolo Colon whose fork and spoon move faster than his pitches
** 36-year old Freddy Garcia who at least had a decent year in Chicago last year.

In another example of his cost-cutting policy, Brian Cashman has announced that negotiations with Tom Seaver to be the #5 starter, have broken off since the Yanks refused to match his Social Security payments.

The Tampa Bay Rays have announced that they have signed "The Idiot" and "The Quitter." Actually, that's not fair: Johnny Damon isn't really an idiot. On the other hand, Janice Hough is starting a lottery where fans can post the actual day that Manny Ramirez decides he doesn't want to play for Tampa anymore. She says she hasn't had a guess that would get to the start of the season yet. Manny has already started. At a press conference he turned to Damon and said, "You play 100 games and I'll play 62." To which management replied, "62 days? Well, so far it's a good deal."


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