Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Per$onal & Confidential: The Real Cam Newton

Heisman Trophy votes are due by the end of next week. Between 5% and 10% of eligible voters have already submitted their ballots while many of the rest are still weighing the significance of the allegations involving Auburn University’s Cam Newton attempting to hold up Mississippi State for a $180,000 “signing Bonus”. I sat down with Cam this week looking for answers to just who this young man really is and I think you’ll find that his answers to Chad Picasner at Large’s probing questions reveal that he is just the kind of gentleman deserving of this award.

CPAL: Welcome, Cam. We are all aware of your outstanding play this year so let’s explore Cam Newton as a person.

CN: Thanks for having me and it’s important to me that my both my fans and distracters understand that neither I or my dad are the money grubbing sleaze balls portrayed in the vicious rumors reported by less responsible journalists than Chad Picasner at Large.

CPAL: Then lets get to it, Cam. When you were growing up did you watch a lot of television?

CN: Well, the Magic Toy $hop was my favorite show when I was little. For some reason that I can’t explain I just loved Mr. Green Jean$. And the Jolly Green Giant commercials for their Green Bean$ spoke to me like no others. Funny, huh?

CPAL: How about when you a little older.

CN: I really liked the Green Hornet. But I enjoyed other kinds of shows as well, like Green Acre$. My dad got kind of worried when he found out I liked that show so much so he made me watch reruns of John Wane Green Beret movie$, and I’m glad he did. They helped make me the man I am today.

CPAL: Are there schools you considered other than Mi$$i$$ippi $tate and Auburn coming out of junior college.

CN: Actually, growing up, I always dreamed of playing for the Green Wave of Tulane, but my grades were not strong enough coming out of high school, so I decided to attend a JC. After graduation and an NFL career, God willing, I intend to complete a Ma$ter$ in Bu$ine$$ Admini$tration at Tulane.

CPAL: Speaking of the NFL, do you have a wish list of teams you would like to play for?

CN: It’s my dream to be part of any NFL organization but if I could choose one team it would be the Jets.

CPAL: Why the Jets, Cam.

CN: You might think this is strange, but I just really like their colors.

CPAL: I’ve heard that you’ve become an old movie buff? Is that right?

CN: Oh, yeah. We have tons of time between practices and I’m a huge fan of movies from the 40’s.

CPAL: Really? What are some favorites?

CN: Well, “How Green Wa$ My Valley” is an all-time classic and I love “Casablanca” and anything else with $idney Green$treet.

CPAL: Will you share one secret about Cam Newton that no one knows?

CN: It’s a little embarrassing, but I play New York Lottery scratch-off games way too much. When I was in high school I really liked to play Loose Change but lately I like Win for Life.

CPAL: On a more serious note, Cam, why did you decide to break your commitment to Mi$$iSSippi $tate and attend Auburn?

CN: Honestly, my dad told me that sometimes the gra$$ really is greener on the other side of the fence.

CPAL: Last question, Cam. Why do you think some people who were close to you have leveled such serious “pay-me-to-play” accusations?

CN: I think they’re just green with envy.

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