Friday, August 20, 2010

SOME PEOPLE NEVER LEARN

***NOW I HAVE ANOTHER JOB***
I will spend the next couple of days researching a proper remedial reading course for my good friend Vod, or perhaps a new optometrist. Why would I give a nickname like "Wrong Way," to a columnist that I'd name as an asset to a sports page. If the Rochester paper is so bad, cancel your subscription and buy the Syracuse Post Standard. Do they still feature Jerry Izenberg, one of the best sports columnists ever?

***SPEAKING OF OUTBURSTS***
A fine 9-run outburst sealed the fate of the ever-falling Detroit Tigers yesterday, in spite of the efforts of one-time "genius" Jim Leland, who mixed and matched pitchers like he was arranging dates for the prom. There were some long blasts by the Yanks, but I couldn't help but notice the help given by the positioning of the Tiger outfielders. Our crack analysts did note, early in the game, that the Tiger outfielders play a very shallow outfield, but failed to point out how many balls that went over their heads might have been caught if they stationed themselves at a reasonable depth. It also made balls hit into the gap almost impossible to cut off and even when they did, they weren't in good position to hold the runners to a single.
Vod is right: Brett Gardner makes an excellent lead-off man, but what do you do with Jeter. His penchant for hitting ground balls make him a great candidate for double plays, so hitting 2nd seems dangerous. He should probably be hitting 9th, but as columnist Joel Sherman, points out, who's going to tell him? More to the point, who's going to tell Annie-O? or Maris? Vod, this looks like your line of country. Be a pal, I don't like sleeping in the garage.

***MICHAEL KAY IS GETTING MARRIED***
This probably explains his lack of concentration lately. He's gotten the count wrong, the number of outs wrong and even the score wrong. I'm assuming the Yankee front office is forcing him to say that there is a sell-out every game, when there obviously is not. He said it again yesterday when the actual attendance figures indicated they were 4000 fans short. Or as Red Barber used to say, "They came disguised as empty seats."
All I can say, Michael, is I've seen pictures of your fiance. You're excused!

***MATSUI IS STILL HELPING THE YANKS***
He hit a 3-run blast yesterday to help LA beat Boston. Go Hideki!

***THE MOST DANGEROUS PLACE IN BASEBALL***
Any guesses? It's being put on the Boston Red Sox major league roster. New acquisition, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, lasted a week before he made it to the DL with a leg infection. Now Dustin Pedroia has been held out of a game because the foot he broke is very sore. Still, outside of New York & Tampa, only 4 other teams in baseball have a better record, and not by a lot. Francona is a better magician than David Copperfield.

***THE OVER-RATED STAT***
How often do you enter a game with your team ahead 11-2, and get credited with a save? How often can you give up 3 runs and still be credited with a save? When can you do both in the same game? The answer: when you're the NY Yankees "mop-up" man and your manager doesn't want to waste his "good" pitchers. That man is Sergio Mitre and as Michael Kay pointed out, "He's not doing his job." Well, not very well, anyway. So Segio got the kind of save Sparky Lyle described when he talked about cheap saves.

***CLEMENS IS INDICTED***
My only comment is a quote from Thomas Boswell: "Clemens is not stupid, so why is he so dumb." Exactly!

CP-

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