JUST HEADLINES - MAYBE A LITTLE MORE

***NOLAN RYAN GETS ANOTHER WIN***
Ranger president Nolan Ryan won a big victory yesterday, outbidding Mark Cuban to claim ownership of the Texas Rangers. No, not the Rangers with guns, although the baseball team has a couple of big ones in Guerrero and Hamilton. In the first ever auction of a major league baseball team, Ryan's group was finally announced as the official winners of the auction, amidst all the claims, protests and profanity-laced arguments. ...and that was just the lawyers. Well, at least A-Rod is now assured of getting his back pay of $24 million. I'm sure we'll all sleep better tonight.

***SPEAKING OF A-ROD...***
He finally hit #600 yesterday, just before a new batch of specially marked baseballs had to be produced. The ball was retrieved by a Stadium security guard and returned to A-Rod. The ball hit for #500 was retrieved at a cost of over $100,000, so you can guess what this one was worth. The security guard got a bat. Autographed, but still a bat. Maybe the Yanks will give him a free pass to the rest of the games at the stadium. Oh, wait....
Typically, A-Rod got the glory (and deservedly so), but Derek Jeter had the better game: 4 for 4 and 3 runs scored. He also led the team in "A-Rod Hugs" with two.
Oh, and the Yanks did win the game.

***BRETT FAVRE RETIRES***
According to his teammates, anyway, who claim he texted a few of them and said he was done. But that was yesterday. Today, in an impromptu interview, Brett says he hasn't decided yet (I'm shocked! Shocked!!). His agent says if Brett is healthy, he'll play. Obviously, mental health does not figure into this scenario.

***SPEAKING OF MENTAL HEALTH...***
In a page right out of the "Brett Favre guide to Media Relations", Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson have broken off their engagement for the 2nd time. If this isn't a sport, it oughta be, since it appears that Levi has 2 hits in 3 at bats. Think about it.

***PICASNER TO PITTSBURGH***
Picasner and his lovely wife, Annie-O, will be going to Pittsburgh this weekend to see the Pirates play. Why, you say? Well the Stadium is beautiful, the food is good, the attendants are friendly and helpful and the whole cost of the weekend is cheaper than ONE seat at a Yankee game. As a bonus, the Pirates feature "Pirogi Races" every game. I'll be taking bets.

WELCOME BACK, VOD. It's comforting to know you're watching. (And no, I have no idea what the phrase in French means)

CP-