Tuesday, August 31, 2010

NOW THAT WE'RE DONE TALKING ABOUT UNDERWEAR...

***YANKS POUND THE A'S***
Trevor Cahill didn't look much like a Cy Young candidate last night, as the Yanks beat him up for the 2nd time this year. The Yanks have hit him up for 14 runs in 10 innings this year.
Is there anyone in the league hotter than Marcus Markey Thames? Another blast last night against a fire-balling right-hander. The Yanks are still tied with Tampa Bay, after the Rays victory last night. 99% of the residents of Tampa found out when they read this morning's newspaper, because they sure weren't AT the game. Less than 12,000 people showed up to watch the team with the best record in baseball. Yankee Stadium, of course, was "sold out again," if you believe Michael Kay, which I don't (and they weren't).

***FROM JANICE HOUGH***
"Mizzou's football team has now had three DUI arrests in the past couple month. Looks like Missouri has now become the "Show me your license and registration" state."

***AND A COUPLE FROM DWIGHT PERRY***
"Some 10,276 people in China broke the world record for the biggest human domino chain, state media reported. The old mark: 9,237 at Seattle's old Kingdome, in line outside the women's restroom."
Not really Dwight's, but still funny:
" Ron Kantowski of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, on the state of women's basketball at Oregon State: "A program with more inner turmoil than Kirstie Alley's digestive system."

***MANNY GOES TO CHICAGO***
Why, I don't know. The first problem has surfaced and Manny hasn't even put on a uniform yet. GM Kenny Williams has announced that Manny will have to lose his signature dreadlocks to comply with the White Sox' "appearance policy." Didn't Joe Torre make the same announcement a couple of years ago? How did that work out, Joe?
As far as this supposed 'appearance policy,' has anyone in the Sox front office noticed that ugly growth on the chin of Bobby Jenks? I didn't think so. I guess they didn't say what kind of 'appearance'.

***ANOTHER USELESS STAT***
They announced last night, that Marcus Thames' home run in his 5th straight start, ties him for 4th highest on the Yankees since 1920. 4th highest! Tied! And just on the Yankees! Wow, what a milestone. No word, though, as to the jock situation (thank god).

***WHO NEEDS HIM?***
The Yanks are 16-3 with out A-Rod. At least we can count on him to bring movie stars around.

CP-

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