## Manti-Te'o has an imaginary girlfriend.
## Lance Armstrong now has imaginary cycling titles.
## Tiger Woods is trying to have his wife...again. There is a rumor that he's offered her $200 million to return, but she's holding out for $250 million and Tiger's favorite nine iron. Might as well be prepared for the next break-up.
## Derek Jeter has been cleared for "activity." Word is that he has super models booked for all next week. He'll get to baseball activities later.
## Is it true that Terry Francona is having a book signing at the fried chicken store on Yawkey Way? Just asking.
Only 25 days to pitchers and catchers.
***THEY SAID IT***
"Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki are denying rumours they're engaged. Probably just as well. The way Wozniacki's tennis is going, if she served wedding cake she'd double fault." -- RJ Currie
"This Lance Armstrong circus coming on the heels of the Baseball Hall of Fame vote is making me long for the innocence of pro wrestling." -- Janice Hough
"NHL star Alex Ovechkin is newly engaged to tennis pro Maria Kirilenko. Most marriages end up like hockey: not much scoring and a lot of face-offs." -- RJ Currie
"When did it became obvious Lance Armstrong was using performance-enhancing drugs: "That one year he won the race on the stationary bike." -- Jay Leno
"Notre Dame is in major damage control mode. Rumor has it they first tried to prove the girlfriend’s existence, but soon realized that proof of her voting in Chicago wouldn’t count." -- Janice Hough
***BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT***
"Tonight @ 8 p.m. Lance Armstrong admits that everything he said last night was a lie." -- Brad Dickson