NEWS FLASHES

** Ichiro Suzuki says being traded to the Yankees "energized" him. He says he's going to try really hard this year. In related news, Robinson Cano says he is inspired by Ichiro'S enthusiasm and he now promises he will run very hard to first base at least once every game.

** In a book that will be released later this month, former Red Sox manager, Terry Francona, says that in 2010, management told him that the team wasn't "marketable," and they needed to sign some 'sexy' players. Francona says his one regret was that they couldn't come to terms with Brooklyn Decker.

** Leave it to Scott Boras. He found him: the One Dumb Owner. Turns out it's the Washington Nationals. They signed Rafael Soriano to a two-year deal worth $14 million a year. Boras could find a penny on the beach at midnight.

** Television analyst, Mark Grace, was fired by the Arizona Diamondbacks after his second drunk driving arrest in 15 months.Not to worry, the team has invited Grace to participate in their fantasy camp, now under way in Scottsdale. I think Grace's fantasy is that he'll get to stay out of jail.

** A couple of interesting rule changes in baseball this year.
The fake-to-third, throw-to-first move will now be deemed a balk. Michael Kay is said to be distraught over not being able to use his patented, "The ole Jeff Nelson."

Interpreters will now be allowed to visit the mound with managers and pitching coaches. Joe West is insisting on his own personal interpreter to make sure nobody says anything bad about him. Interpreters are nothing new to the game. Teams with Asian players have had interpreters for years. The Miami Marlins even had one for Ozzie Guillen.

** Louisville is now the number one basketball team in the country according to the USA and the AP polls. Rick Pitino's Cardinals next game is in Syracuse against the Orange, who will be without star forward James Southerland. No truth to the rumor that Jim Boeheim planned to use Dion Waiters in disguise.

***THEY SAID IT***
"USC fired basketball coach Kevin O'Neill, who was 48-65. And that was in NCAA investigations."  -- Brad Dickson
"Lance Armstrong reportedly told Oprah that he used performance enhancing drugs to win the Tour de France. This stunned Armstrong's lone remaining supporter, a goat herder in the Ukraine named Oli."  -- Brad Dickson
"Lance Armstrong has agreed to an interview with Oprah amid speculation he'll admit to using performance-enhancing drugs. I'll say this for the guy: He really put the PED in pedal."  -- RJ Currie
 "Major League Baseball will allow interpreters on the mound this year to translate managers and coaches for their pitchers. Think maybe next the league will allow interpreters into the broadcast booth to translate Tim McCarver into less pretentious English?"  -- Janice Hough
"New retinal technology has given blind mice the ability to see. MLB Commish Bud Selig welcomed the news, stating that after umps undergo this new treatment, instant replay will no longer be necessary."  -- TC Chong
"Ex-Lakers coach Phil Jackson and team vice president Jeanie Buss, his girlfriend of 13 years, are finally making wedding plans.But here's the $4 million question: Will Kobe Bryant serve as the ring-bearer?   --  Dwight Perry
"Good news for hockey. After 113 days, the National Hockey League has settled its contract dispute. The last time Americans went 113 days without watching hockey, it was during last year's hockey season."  -- Craig Ferguson

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