BELIEVE IT OR SNOT

Boeheim Inks Big Deal?

Rumor has it that Syracuse University basketball coach Jim Boeheim has signed an endorsement deal with WaxVac, Inc., the hand-held appliance that sucks gallons of offending goo and grunge from even the hairiest ears.

A source close to Boeheim said his endorsement was based on the soon to be released WaxVac accessory kit that includes the NozeHoze, a WaxVac attachment that promises to suck a nose spring-fresh and squeaky-clean.

Runny noses vacuumed dry. No job is too wet, no booger too big. NozeHoze is the choice of professionals who want to eliminate every unsightly on-air finger insertion from the stealthy 'Pinky Pick' to the dreaded, caught-on-camera 'Over-the-Knuckle-Full-Monty-Prospector’s-Probe'.

We expect to see the portable NozeHoze in action at Madison Square Garden at the Big East Tournament.

When asked if the NozeHoze might be a little too ‘down-home’ for a Big East audience, we were reminded that SU will be leaving for the ACC after this season where everyone expects the NozeHoze will set marks for record sales.

According to company sources, NozeHoze packaging was to feature a life-sized image of JB’s celebrity beak. The idea was dropped when designers discovered that this would require much larger, and consequently more expensive, packaging. An image of Pinocchio’s nose has been licensed instead.

No question, the NozeHoze just might be out ‘Product Pick of the Year’.

Exciting Yankee News!

Nothing.

Go to the Mirror, Boy.

House Speaker John Boehner, talking about recent ‘Fiscal Cliff’ negotiations, was quoted as saying, “I need this job like a hole in the head.” Bad news, John, you have both.