Tuesday, July 31, 2012


## All the speculation is over and the trades have been made. Some big names have moved, some not so big have changed addresses. Here's a quick rundown:
Texas -- Got Ryan Dempster from the Cubs for, well, no one you've heard of.
Dodgers -- Acquired Shane Victorino from the Phils for a decent reliever, Josh Lindblom and a minor leaguer.
Giants -- Picked up Hunter Pence from the Phils for a backup outfielder and more minor leaguers.
Cincinnati  -- Got closer Jonathan Braxton, the Royals got 'taken'. (2 minor league pitchers)
Pirates -- Landed all-star Gaby Sanchez from the Marlins for, yeah, two more minor leaguers.
Red Sox -- Picked up reliever Craig Breslow for Scott Posednik and Matt Albers in a trade with Arizona.
The Yankees (are you ready?)  landed corner infielder Casey McGehee and saddled the Pirates with Chad Qualls. If nothing else, at least my name won't be sullied anymore.

## I don't understand these injury reports anymore. A-Rod has a "non-displaced broken bone in his hand." What's that mean? We know where the broken bone is? Mark Teixeira's injury to his hand was described as having "no structural damage." That sounds like there is no big problem, he just needs an oil change. Why do they have to be so specific and at the same time, confusing?  Why not just say, "He has a boo-boo, we'll see him in three days?"

You have to give these athletes credit. They are inventive if nothing else when it comes to the use of banned substances. The Hungarian hammer thrower's urine sample was clean but they discovered that it showed evidences of being an accumulation of several different people. Apparently he smuggled in this sample with the use of a fake penis. His name, oddly enough, is Adrian Annus, and that's as far as I'll go.

In the show-jumping event, I read a headline that said that Courtney King-Dye and her horse Mythilus, tested positive for a banned substance. Probably what gave them away was when they tossed a coin before the event to see which one would wear the saddle.

There is no evidence of any illegal drug use by the 16-year old Chinese swimmer, Ye-Shiwen, other than the fact that Olympic officials have waited for two hours to question her, but she still hasn't come up for air.

If the beach volleyball uniforms don't satisfy your purient interests completely, check out the swimsuits of the men's synchronized diving. I've seen plumbers who wore their shorts higher. 

The USA Men's basketball team is running thru the competition (I use the term loosely) and having a ball doing it. Their games look more like a "keg" game than an Olympic event. They might as well put the beer keg at half court and celebrate with a couple of rounds during the time-outs.

## Apparently, winning two games against the Yanks went right to Valentine's head. After the 2nd win, he was quoted as saying. "It wouldn't surprise me if the Yanks don't make the playoffs." Ah, dream on, Bobby.

"Researchers in Zurich say more grey matter you have, the more likely you are to be unselfish. Finally, an explanation for Terrell Owens."  -- RJ Currie
"The Summer Olympics are under way and I look forward to Team USA to bring home lots of gold medals and thrill the country the team  represents which, thanks to their outfits, is China."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Olympics begin this weekend. Britain’s Queen Elizabeth will use a vacation day to attend the opening ceremony. After that, she’ll have 364 left."  -- Alan Ray
"A Canadian man from Ontario accidentally shot himself in the forehead while trying to kill a mouse with the butt of his rifle." -- [I don't think this needs a punchline, do you? - Chad]
"A Chinese Women's swimmer was so fast in the 400 meter IM, that her last leg was actually faster than the men's winner, Ryan Lochte. Something may be going on with the Chinese women swimmers because she also smashed the all-time record held by Flipper."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Rivermead Cup is presented to the 'Low Canadian' of the Canadian Open That’s like giving a trophy to the tallest midget."  -- Dan Halldorson


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