Sunday, October 18, 2015


There have been some strange games this year. Home run hitters aren't hitting home runs, lights-out pitchers seem to fall apart all of a sudden and some players lose their ability to catch a baseball.
Oh, there are still the usual irritations
**Analysts who won't shut up
**Umpires whose strike zones make no sense
**Can we please get rid of those stupid strike zone cartoons. they're worse than the umpires.
**Batting statistics for the postseason have little value. A player who is 1 for 7 over two games is NOT in a slump. 
**Maybe I'm just old school, but poses and bat flips are for kids. You are professionals. Act like it.
**Joe Maddon, will you please shave. You look like you're second job is begging for change on the street.
**John Gibbons - is your face made of cement? You look the same whether you're mad, happy, confused or...constipated?

On the other hand, a real hero has developed that you wouldn't have predicted - the Met's Daniel Murphy.
The Cubs are being beaten by New York but the Blue Jays look awfully tight against the Royals. Josh Donaldson, who terrorized the American League, probably isn't even terrorizing his own batting practice pitcher. Joey Bats - isn't. but he is leading team in outwardly showing his disgust with all the umpires ability to call balls and strikes.

What is with these in-game interviews with the managers? Are they expecting something earth-shattering? One of them accidentally dropping an F-Bomb? At least that would make it worthwhile to listen. But the dribble they do produce could have been filmed before the playoffs started.
"Terry, Matt Harvey has only given up one hit so far. How pleased are you with that?" "Well Sam, we think he's pitching really well.Two analysts in the booth have already told us that.
How about this instead:
"Joe you're team is being shut out. How are you going to fix that?" "Next inning, we're going to try calling the pitcher really bad names. If that doesn't work, I guess we'll just go home." What do you think of that answer, Fox Sports? 

Where's that mute button?
Ron Darling has an irritating voice. Cal Ripken sounds like he's never watched a game from the booth before. Harold Reynolds must be getting paid by the word. This is television. We can actually SEE what's going on. "That's strike three!" We know, we know.
The networks do have a plan to solve this, though. Starting Monday, Pete Rose, Frank Thomas, Raul Ibanez, Max Scherzer and - hold on to your hats - Alex Rodriquez will be added to the staff. 
What gems can these guys add?  Max: "I struck him out easily all year." Frank: "Why are they hitting with toothpicks?" A-Rod: "I make more money than him." Pete: "I'll give you 2-1 he strikes out this time."  More ex-jocks. What are they going to add? This is like forcing a boilermaker on a passed out drunk. I can hardly wait.

A topic on the Sports Reporters today was about what effect a manager has on a game. The simple answer: "I never ever won a game for my team.  I lost a few, but I never won one"  -- Earl Weaver   

"The seventh inning of Game 5 between the Jays and Rangers lasted close to an hour. Or almost as long as the last three minutes of an NBA game. -- RJ Currie
"As of right now, the Chicago Cubs are the favorite to win the World Series. The last time that sentence appeared in print, there was a blacksmith shop across from the stadium."  -- Brad Dickson
"Bevo XIV, a longhorn steer who was the University of Texas mascot, has died from bovine leukemia. But he still might be a part of a memorial BBQ in his honor."  -- Janice Hough
"Cubs, Mets admit it would be embarrassing to lose in the playoffs to Mets, Cubs."  --
"In Pac-12 football play this season, the visiting team won 10 of the first 15 conference games. Veteran observers say they haven’t seen this much trauma at home since Elin discovered Tiger’s text messages"  -- Dwight Perry
" Playboy announced it will stop running nude photos next year. So now if you want to see a naked woman you’ll have to go to HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, the Internet, Burning Man, a PETA protest, perfume ads or ESPN The Magazine."  -- Seth Meyers
" A major league playoff game was delayed when Chase Utley took out three players, a mascot, a bullpen cart, a bat boy and most of the fans sitting down the third-base line with a hard slide."  -- Brad Dickson
"James Harden told he’s the best player in the NBA and was last year’s true MVP. Is it possible for someone’s beard to be too tight?"  -- RJ Currie



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