SHORT AND NOT-SO-SWEET

***SPRING TRAINING NOTES***
The Yanks beat the Red Sox 3-1 today, improving their record to 3-7. They scored three runs on some very weak hits and were aided by two errors by the Sox thirdbaseman, who has probably solidified his spot in the minors.
The two Yankee announcers, Flash Flaherty and Bob Lorenz, were so busy "explaining things to us that they often neglected to tell us who was hitting. In spite of all the hours Annie-O and I spend watching the Yankees, I confess we still don't know players with numbers like 64, 72 and 86 are. After watching them hit, there is probably no need to find out.

Ichiro ran across a 13-ft alligator while golfing and was involved in a car accident when an older woman cut him off. Welcome to Florida, Ichiro.

In a not-so-rare display of   greed, the Angels gave Mike Trout a raise that pays him $20,000 over the major league minimum. His agent was furious and advised Trout not to sign, but his choices are limited to sign or sit. This is in line with the contract the MLBPA  that the union negotiated, so no sense being mad at the Angels.

"Bunglin' Bud Selig has come out in favor of harsher penalties for first time drug offenders. His suggestion is [...............................].  That's right, nothing. Guess we caught him off-guard by asking what he had in mind.

***BASKETBALL***
The Knicks and the Heat squared off today in a game that meant nothing.  The Knicks needed to win only to show that they could beat some of the NBA's elite teams. The Heat need to win because , well...they like to. The Knicks had a 14-point lead early in the 2nd half, but Miami eventually won by three.

I mentioned last week that the Syracuse Orange had three tough games coming up that would give us an idea of how good they really were. Now, we know. Not very.  They lost all three games and displayed weaknesses that good teams will exploit: They don't rebound very well, their half-court offense is suspect, and you can totally disrupt them by pressuring Michael Carter-Williams over the whole court. I think they might make the Sweet 16, if the match-ups work for them.

The newest fad in pro basketball is the pre-game dunk exhibition, started by and starring LeBron James. Yes, his athleticism is impressive, but no matter how stylish it is, it's still only worth two points in the game.  There is supposed to be a rule about hanging on the rim, allowed only when there is a danger of a bad fall. In both the college and pro ranks, guys hang there with no one around, do chin-ups on the rim and pirouette before landing. I suppose if you're going to ignore traveling, carrying the ball and 5 or 6 seconds anchored in the lane, you might as well close your eyes to the dunks, too.
I'm still irritated with ESPN including at least three dunks in their top ten plays every day. That's as bad as showing home runs that mean nothing, too.

***THEY SAID IT***
"In something of a surprise, Bo Pelini invited members of the media to the first spring practice workout. I knew there was a catch. Turns out the new tackling dummies hadn’t arrived yet."  -- Brad Dickson
"A new marketing trend from Japan has women renting their thighs for ads roughly the size of a two-column newspaper spot. If you want a full-page ad, talk to Serena Williams."  -- RJ Currie
"Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who has been a supporter of gay rights, said that the NFL will have its first openly gay player by 2014. Vegas has already made any Tight End player a 1-5 favorite."  -- TC Chong
  {** Comedian Bob Nelson says his money is on a wide receiver.**}
"So Dennis Rodman has been hanging out with Kim Jung Un. One is an unstable madman bent on world destruction, while the other is the leader of North Korea.”  -- Mark Ragovin
"During spring training, the Brewers’ Italian sausage costume went missing. I won’t say exactly what happened to it, but during the investigation CC Sabathia belched."  -- Brad Dickson
"Confused about this new “Catholic 7?” Guess it’s supposed to be a new NCAA basketball division. Sounds more like the semi-finalists in a reality show about electing the Pope."  -- Janice Hough
"Dave Hansen, who once taught Raul Ibanez how to play the guitar back when they were Mariners teammates, is Ibanez's mentor once again, this time as Seattle's batting coach. All fine and good — as long as Raul doesn't wind up a banjo hitter."  -- Dwight Perry
"Fans threw rolls of toilet paper at Canada's Scotties Tournament of Hearts: Good thing the curling championship wasn't sponsored by Swiss Army Knives."  -- Cam Hutchinson
"After Rory McIlroy walked off the course on the 7th hole claiming a toothache. You think Rory McIlroy’s tooth would have hurt as much if he’d been 7-under on Friday afternoon and not 7-over?"  Mike Lupica
"My question is this: Did the pope really step down voluntarily, or did Dwight Howard get him fired?"  -- Mike Bianchi

Vod and his lovely wife are back after a Florida vacation. Now maybe some sanity will creep back into this blog.

CP-