***NY FANS AREN'T BUYING IT***
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him pay $2500 for a drink. Yanks and Mets fans are STILL not buying the over-priced seats in the two new stadiums. The Yanks are averaging 44,600 fans per game, the Mets, 38,800. Last year, it was 53,000 and 49,900. Both teams are leading their respective divisions, too.
***MATSUI CAN'T RUN***
Hell, he looks like he has trouble walking. I suspect the Yanks are waiting for Nady to come off the DL before Matsui goes on. He's still hitting the ball a long way for guy without legs.
*** THAT WASN'T THE RIGHT TIME***
I still advocate 'making the other team make a play,' but use your head. Tonight, A-Rod tried to go to third on a hit and got thrown out. Dumb play. There was no reason to try it: the Yanks already had a big lead, if he makes out before the runner crosses home plate, the run doesn't count. Just not the right time. Usually, A-Rod is a smart baserunner. Not this time.
***MICHAEL KAY, ON TOP OF HIS JOB***
We can usually count on Michael to give us some off-beat insight into the game, some crazy anomaly, an obscure statistic or two. But even Picasner wasn't ready for "The Life And Times Of The Ohio Midges." I suppose if it can cost your team a playoff game, it's worth researching.
...I think.
***...AND IT WASN'T EVEN MICHAEL***
This, from John Flaherty: "That's the best place to get hit." C'mon, Flash, that's a 90 MPH fastball. The best place to get hit with a 90 MPH fastball, is on the arm of the guy in front of you.
***FOR THE LAST TIME***
Can't we get CC into a uniform that fits? Maybe that's how he keeps people from knowing if he's gained weight. Even with that outfit, you can tell he hasn't missed too many BBQ chicken dinners.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN
***ROOKIE UMP MAKING A NAME FOR HIMSELF***
I won't tell you the name but it ain't good.
Rookie umpire Todd Tichenor had the 'grand slam' of ejections last night. He threw out the Twins catcher and the Twins manager on the same play. Being fair-minded, he promptly tossed the Red Sox catcher and manager in the bottom of the same inning. He made a call on a tag play at home, and though it was close, it appeared he made a mistake. When the catcher objected, he immediately threw him out. Ron Gardenhire, the Twins manager, had gone out to argue the play, but too late. By the time he arrived, the catcher was gone and when Tichenor saw Gardenhire, he was gone, too.
In the bottom of the inning, Varitek was booted for arguing a the call of a pitch. Franconia hurried out but he didn't have to rush: Tichenor had a thumb ready for him, too.
If that wasn't bad enough, crew chief Jerry Layne approved of Tichenor's handling of the affair. "He handled it the way I like to see a person handle it. He didn't let the game get out of control..." Bulls***. The game was never out of control, just Tichenor. He threw out anybody who came within 20 feet of him. Todd, go back to the Pacific Coast league...and take Jerry Layne with you.
I continue to be amazed at how sef-important these guys act and are allowed to get away with it.
I won't tell you the name but it ain't good.
Rookie umpire Todd Tichenor had the 'grand slam' of ejections last night. He threw out the Twins catcher and the Twins manager on the same play. Being fair-minded, he promptly tossed the Red Sox catcher and manager in the bottom of the same inning. He made a call on a tag play at home, and though it was close, it appeared he made a mistake. When the catcher objected, he immediately threw him out. Ron Gardenhire, the Twins manager, had gone out to argue the play, but too late. By the time he arrived, the catcher was gone and when Tichenor saw Gardenhire, he was gone, too.
In the bottom of the inning, Varitek was booted for arguing a the call of a pitch. Franconia hurried out but he didn't have to rush: Tichenor had a thumb ready for him, too.
If that wasn't bad enough, crew chief Jerry Layne approved of Tichenor's handling of the affair. "He handled it the way I like to see a person handle it. He didn't let the game get out of control..." Bulls***. The game was never out of control, just Tichenor. He threw out anybody who came within 20 feet of him. Todd, go back to the Pacific Coast league...and take Jerry Layne with you.
I continue to be amazed at how sef-important these guys act and are allowed to get away with it.
HE WHO TALKS LOUDEST WINS THE FIGHT
Sorry Vod, that doesn't work in real life either.
***ONE AT A TIME***
Closer situation: I might buy it on an individual basis (who is pitching against us, how are we hitting, etc.)
Vods most lucid observation: Sorry, didn't see one.
Of course other people have said "Make the other team make the play", Powers was just the first time I heard it.
Hughes vs Wang: not our choice, but you KNOW that Wang will be starting soon.
Hate Manny?: Absolutely! I hate quitters. David Ortiz has done a lot of damage to the Yanks, but I've always had respect for him. Let them vote Manny in; they'll get what they deserve. Here's any interesting thought: What if Manny comes in fourth. Managers often pick the runner-up to be on the team. What will Manuel do?
As to Sheffield, granted, A-Rod is no saint, but I've never heard him described as a clubhouse cancer. Nor has he been traded for little or no return just to get rid of him. You're comparing apples to oranges.
Picasner is often asked: "Does Vod say outrageous things just to start a fight?" Yes, he likes to play Devil's Advocate. It's his most endearing trait. Makes me look like a sweet guy (very hard to do).
Picasner is a Yankee fan and not afraid to admit it. Vod does not like to align himself with idiocy (a good thing), but that's impossible to do it you root for any baseball team.
I'm also asked, "How can you deal with the things he says about you?" #5 applies here, too. He has always been my friend.
How come you didn't make a comment about my "one-sided disgust" at umpires?
***ONE AT A TIME***
Closer situation: I might buy it on an individual basis (who is pitching against us, how are we hitting, etc.)
Vods most lucid observation: Sorry, didn't see one.
Of course other people have said "Make the other team make the play", Powers was just the first time I heard it.
Hughes vs Wang: not our choice, but you KNOW that Wang will be starting soon.
Hate Manny?: Absolutely! I hate quitters. David Ortiz has done a lot of damage to the Yanks, but I've always had respect for him. Let them vote Manny in; they'll get what they deserve. Here's any interesting thought: What if Manny comes in fourth. Managers often pick the runner-up to be on the team. What will Manuel do?
As to Sheffield, granted, A-Rod is no saint, but I've never heard him described as a clubhouse cancer. Nor has he been traded for little or no return just to get rid of him. You're comparing apples to oranges.
Picasner is often asked: "Does Vod say outrageous things just to start a fight?" Yes, he likes to play Devil's Advocate. It's his most endearing trait. Makes me look like a sweet guy (very hard to do).
Picasner is a Yankee fan and not afraid to admit it. Vod does not like to align himself with idiocy (a good thing), but that's impossible to do it you root for any baseball team.
I'm also asked, "How can you deal with the things he says about you?" #5 applies here, too. He has always been my friend.
How come you didn't make a comment about my "one-sided disgust" at umpires?
7 Steps to Chad Picasner
After commenting on Picasner’s view of most things baseball and all things pinstriped, I’m frequently asked, "Vod, how is it that you continue to hang with someone you find so obviously confused, biased, and annoying?" Yes, he is all of those things when discussing Yankeedom, but do not be mistaken, I have seen behind the pinstriped shroud that our Peerless Picasner wraps himself in and found the 7 levels of universal knowledge that is Chad Picasner!
1. He knows how to count. This is important for census work.
2. He knows how to drive. Most of the time. (If you’re his passenger, use your seatbelt. Prayer is recommended.)
3. He knows how to be a friend. All of the time.
4. – 5. He knows the Pux. And Remo. (Counts as two)
6. He knows a town in the California desert where, if you ask the location of a mailbox, some reply, “Outgoing?”.
7. He knows how to have beautiful grand children. Fortunately, all of his children take after their Mom. Thanks, Anne!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Where to Begin?
So much confusion, thanks to our beloved if often confused Picasner, and so little time.
Let’s start with this little nugget,
***I NEED AN EXPLANATION, PLEASE***
Why do you bring in your closer with the score tied? It's not a save situation.
The generally accepted management principle is that you bring in your closer in the top of the 9th when you are at home and the score is tied exactly for the reason contained in Picasner’s statement, “It’s not a save situation”. If you are home and tied after 8, the home team can never have a save situation. So, bring in your closer, presumably your best shot at a scoreless half inning (unless you're Mariano pitching against Boston), to give yourself a shot at winning with a single run in the 9th.
Picasner’s most lucid observation: May 18 – “Calm down, Picasner.”
Notable Quotable? Dave Powers, affectionately known as “Mentor” may have said "Make the other team make the play." Along with 11,458 other coaches, managers, players, sports writers and other ne’er do wells, but manufacturing a homey quote to explain consistently cheesy base running is tiresome, even though we know Our Beloved Leader to be an unabashed Yankee apologist. Gardner’s move was Gardner dreaming. Damon was 0-2 getting gunned downed at home by the Phillies. And the list goes on.
What to do with Hughes? Wrong question. Ask, instead, “What to do with Wang”.
Picasner almost gets it right commenting on Steve Phillips, “This guy could screw up a Little League team.” Fact is, he did screw up a Little league team, aka The Mets.
Picasner continues his I hate Manny campaign. Manny carried the Dodgers to the NLCS in 2008 and was hitting a paltry .348 with 6 HRs in 27 games this year. Nice way to waste your money, unlike the great value the Yankees got from enormous contracts given to Carl Pavano, Randy Johnson, ad nauseum. Current Yankee Best Buys include Nick Swisher a steal at $5.4 for a .243 lifetime hitter (currently underachieving at .223) or $3.75 million for Damaso Marte and his 15.19 ERA. Dearest P, even if Swisher “comes around”, you’ve got bupkus.
Irritating Personality? Gary Sheffield is in the Warped Personality Minors compared to the pinstripper’s wife cheating, Madonna-boinking, attention seeking, vainglorious, juice head – The Look at Me, Look at Me, A-Roid.
Midsummer special: Watch our Fearless Prognosticator’s head explode if Manny is voted (currently 4th in outfield votes) onto the All Star team. Once again we may learn to never underestimate the stupidity of the American electorate.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
LEADING THE LEAGUE
They say a team takes on the personality of their manager. It must be true in the case of the Chicago Cubs. Lou Piniella certainly has the most entertaining arguments since Earl Weaver, and his players are following right along.
Last week, Milton Bradley, (a board game in his own right) was ejected for arguing too vehemently over a called strike three. Since Milton suffers from Umpire Paranoia, this was to be expected. Now Ted Lilly has been tossed for the same reason. Today, Carlos Zambrano bit the dust over a called play at home. At least this ejection was reasonable, since Zambrano clearly bumped the umpire while arguing. But in the manner of Sweet Lou, Carlos then threw the ball into left field, slammed his glove into fence and knocked over a drink cooler on his way out. It's called "getting your money's worth."
The bad one was Lilly's ouster. He was arguing plate umpire Bob Davidson's, calls of balls and strikes from the dugout. According to Davidson, when Lilly said "he was embarrassing himself out there," that's when he gave him the heave-ho. Wow! What a terrible thing to say. If Davidson wasn't embarrassing himself before, this would certainly qualify. Next thing you know, the umps will be tossing players for wearing the wrong after-shave. Lilly then hopped the dugout fence and went after Davidson, but was restrained. Piniella said they had the gates guarded, but "our barrier defense was lacking."
Chicago is a fun place.
Last week, Milton Bradley, (a board game in his own right) was ejected for arguing too vehemently over a called strike three. Since Milton suffers from Umpire Paranoia, this was to be expected. Now Ted Lilly has been tossed for the same reason. Today, Carlos Zambrano bit the dust over a called play at home. At least this ejection was reasonable, since Zambrano clearly bumped the umpire while arguing. But in the manner of Sweet Lou, Carlos then threw the ball into left field, slammed his glove into fence and knocked over a drink cooler on his way out. It's called "getting your money's worth."
The bad one was Lilly's ouster. He was arguing plate umpire Bob Davidson's, calls of balls and strikes from the dugout. According to Davidson, when Lilly said "he was embarrassing himself out there," that's when he gave him the heave-ho. Wow! What a terrible thing to say. If Davidson wasn't embarrassing himself before, this would certainly qualify. Next thing you know, the umps will be tossing players for wearing the wrong after-shave. Lilly then hopped the dugout fence and went after Davidson, but was restrained. Piniella said they had the gates guarded, but "our barrier defense was lacking."
Chicago is a fun place.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
AROUND THE HORN
***WHAT'S IN A NAME***
The San Francisco Giants are interested in the Marlins Dan Uggla. I don't know how good a player he is, but is there a better candidate for a name change in the league? I don't believe there are too many endorsement possibilities in your future, Dan.
***GOOD PITCHING BEATS GOOD HITTING...SOMETIMES***
7 teams scored 10 or more runs yesterday, led by the White Sox' 17, Dodgers 16 and the Tigers 13. Tampa Bay scored 10 and lost when Cleveland came up with 7 runs in the bottom of the 9th.
***BEST RECORD IN BASEBALL***
It belongs to the Dodgers, 31-15. Sure do miss Manny, don't they? There's $45 million well spent. Don't count on too many MVP votes, Manny.
***HE'S SMART AGAIN***
Apparently, there is a direct relationship between a manager's IQ and his team's won-loss record. Jim Leyland of the Tigers, is smart again after being "dumb" for two years. The "dumb" title probably belongs to the reporter who asked Leyland, "How do you feel about your team, now that your leading the Central Division?" What's he supposed to say? "We are? With these clowns? Can't be."
***THE RAYS PHENOM IS BACK***
David Price, last years World Series star is back up with the Tampa Bay Rays again. Yesterday, he threw 100 pitches, struck out 6, walked 5 and gave up two runs...all in 3 innings. He left with a 10-2 lead but couldn't get a win because he didn't last 5 innings. No matter; the Rays bullpen managed to blow the lead and the game anyway.
***SHEFFIELD HELPING THE METS***
Gary Sheffield is batting clean-up and is really a force in the Mets line up. Don't worry, sports fans, his 'sparkling' personality will take over soon and he'll be irritating people again.
***HAS ABREU LOST A STEP?***
Probably not. He's hitting .303 with 15 stolen bases. No homeruns, though, and he probably can't even tell you the color of the right field wall in Anaheim, because he hasn't gotten close enough yet.
The San Francisco Giants are interested in the Marlins Dan Uggla. I don't know how good a player he is, but is there a better candidate for a name change in the league? I don't believe there are too many endorsement possibilities in your future, Dan.
***GOOD PITCHING BEATS GOOD HITTING...SOMETIMES***
7 teams scored 10 or more runs yesterday, led by the White Sox' 17, Dodgers 16 and the Tigers 13. Tampa Bay scored 10 and lost when Cleveland came up with 7 runs in the bottom of the 9th.
***BEST RECORD IN BASEBALL***
It belongs to the Dodgers, 31-15. Sure do miss Manny, don't they? There's $45 million well spent. Don't count on too many MVP votes, Manny.
***HE'S SMART AGAIN***
Apparently, there is a direct relationship between a manager's IQ and his team's won-loss record. Jim Leyland of the Tigers, is smart again after being "dumb" for two years. The "dumb" title probably belongs to the reporter who asked Leyland, "How do you feel about your team, now that your leading the Central Division?" What's he supposed to say? "We are? With these clowns? Can't be."
***THE RAYS PHENOM IS BACK***
David Price, last years World Series star is back up with the Tampa Bay Rays again. Yesterday, he threw 100 pitches, struck out 6, walked 5 and gave up two runs...all in 3 innings. He left with a 10-2 lead but couldn't get a win because he didn't last 5 innings. No matter; the Rays bullpen managed to blow the lead and the game anyway.
***SHEFFIELD HELPING THE METS***
Gary Sheffield is batting clean-up and is really a force in the Mets line up. Don't worry, sports fans, his 'sparkling' personality will take over soon and he'll be irritating people again.
***HAS ABREU LOST A STEP?***
Probably not. He's hitting .303 with 15 stolen bases. No homeruns, though, and he probably can't even tell you the color of the right field wall in Anaheim, because he hasn't gotten close enough yet.
Monday, May 25, 2009
BUT IT'S STILL A NICE RUN
***A BUMP IN THE ROAD***
Let's keep this in perspective. Baseball is a game where hitters fail 7 times out of 10 and are considered good hitters. If a team wins 5 1/2 games out of ten, that's 90 wins and a potential playoff team. The Phillies are a good team and all three games could have gone either way. Nobody dominated and the next time (if ever) they meet, the Yanks could very well take 2 out of 3. I have to say, the Yanks are a very entertaining team. Even the subs are producing. There are only two guys who are not: Swisher and Matsui. Matsui has a reputation for producing runs. We're going to need that just to protect A-Rod. Hopefully, they will both come around.
***AREN'T WE PROUD OF OURSELVES***
Phil Sheridan, of the Philadelphia Enquirer (I've never heard of him either), wrote an article in the paper on Sunday, disparaging the Yanks and their win on Saturday. First, he "hinted" that A-Rods homer was the result of steroids and in fact, the whole team was tainted. Of course, Phil, it can't be that you just got beat, there HAD to be something illegal going on. Then he claimed that it was such a big deal that the Yanks beat the 'mighty' Phils, that they had this massive celebration that, in your words, rivaled a playoff win. Right! The Yanks beat Philadelphia, so our season is complete. Amazing how one World Series win can go to your head.
Uh Phil, how come you didn't mention that Brad "MR. Perfect" Lidge blew TWO saves this weekend? Oh yeah, it's those damn steroids again. Go back to Philly, where knowledgeable fans won't have to deal with your incompetence.
***IS ANYONE LOOKING AT THE BOX SCORES?***
In 13 consecutive starts in 1998, Randy Johnson pitched into at least the seventh inning, including 6 complete games and 2 shutouts. 10 times, he had 10 or more strikeouts and threw at least 100 pitches in all of them. He was then traded to the Houston Astros. What did he get for his efforts? A Seattle Mariner General Manager who basically accused him of "tanking." Tanking? Is he kidding? I'll take that effort every time. Well Mr Pelekoudas (Seattle GM), if you want to see real professional tanking, I refer you to the ever-popular Manny-being-Manny of 2008 with the Red Sox. Where did you get your GM training? The Steve Phillips School of PYA (Protect Your A**)?
***SPEAKING OF WHICH***
I can't believe that ESPN has hired Phillips to be their #1 baseball analyst. What were they thinking. This guy could screw up a Little League team.
***THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BODY-BUILDING EVENT IN BELGIUM***
Hoping for a better competition than last year, when 17 of the 29 entrants were disqualified for using illegal drugs, the organizers welcomed this year's 20 competitors. ...Then the doping officials showed up...and all 20 entrants scattered to the four winds. Needless to say, the competition was cancelled. As one official said, "This didn't do their reputation any good."
Let's keep this in perspective. Baseball is a game where hitters fail 7 times out of 10 and are considered good hitters. If a team wins 5 1/2 games out of ten, that's 90 wins and a potential playoff team. The Phillies are a good team and all three games could have gone either way. Nobody dominated and the next time (if ever) they meet, the Yanks could very well take 2 out of 3. I have to say, the Yanks are a very entertaining team. Even the subs are producing. There are only two guys who are not: Swisher and Matsui. Matsui has a reputation for producing runs. We're going to need that just to protect A-Rod. Hopefully, they will both come around.
***AREN'T WE PROUD OF OURSELVES***
Phil Sheridan, of the Philadelphia Enquirer (I've never heard of him either), wrote an article in the paper on Sunday, disparaging the Yanks and their win on Saturday. First, he "hinted" that A-Rods homer was the result of steroids and in fact, the whole team was tainted. Of course, Phil, it can't be that you just got beat, there HAD to be something illegal going on. Then he claimed that it was such a big deal that the Yanks beat the 'mighty' Phils, that they had this massive celebration that, in your words, rivaled a playoff win. Right! The Yanks beat Philadelphia, so our season is complete. Amazing how one World Series win can go to your head.
Uh Phil, how come you didn't mention that Brad "MR. Perfect" Lidge blew TWO saves this weekend? Oh yeah, it's those damn steroids again. Go back to Philly, where knowledgeable fans won't have to deal with your incompetence.
***IS ANYONE LOOKING AT THE BOX SCORES?***
In 13 consecutive starts in 1998, Randy Johnson pitched into at least the seventh inning, including 6 complete games and 2 shutouts. 10 times, he had 10 or more strikeouts and threw at least 100 pitches in all of them. He was then traded to the Houston Astros. What did he get for his efforts? A Seattle Mariner General Manager who basically accused him of "tanking." Tanking? Is he kidding? I'll take that effort every time. Well Mr Pelekoudas (Seattle GM), if you want to see real professional tanking, I refer you to the ever-popular Manny-being-Manny of 2008 with the Red Sox. Where did you get your GM training? The Steve Phillips School of PYA (Protect Your A**)?
***SPEAKING OF WHICH***
I can't believe that ESPN has hired Phillips to be their #1 baseball analyst. What were they thinking. This guy could screw up a Little League team.
***THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BODY-BUILDING EVENT IN BELGIUM***
Hoping for a better competition than last year, when 17 of the 29 entrants were disqualified for using illegal drugs, the organizers welcomed this year's 20 competitors. ...Then the doping officials showed up...and all 20 entrants scattered to the four winds. Needless to say, the competition was cancelled. As one official said, "This didn't do their reputation any good."
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
THAT'S WHY THEY GET THE BIG BUCKS
No sense in rehashing last night's game, so let's look at some comments by the people who know the game the best: the sportswriters. (Yeah, right!)
#1 "CHIEN-MING WANG MAY OR MAY NOT BE READY THIS WEEK" (Tom Puma, NY Post)
What? You know he's right.
#2 "JOBA CHAMBERLAIN HAS 0% CHANCE OF MAKING THE HALL OF FAME"
(Bob Matthews, Rochester D & C)
Guess there's no point in finishing your career, Joba, even though you're only 24. So if he ends up with 320 wins or 500 saves, he's never going to get Bob Matthews vote.
#3 "JOHN SMOLTZ GOT MARRIED & TOM GLAVINE HAD A BABY" (Buster Olney, ESPN)
My question: why are these two items in the same headline? One can only hope they're not related.
#4 "KEITH FOULKE IS PITCHING IN THE ATLANTIC LEAGUE AND SOMETHING DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH HIM" (Stan Grossfeld, Boston Globe)
Yeah, he's pitching in the Atlantic league. Didn't that jump right out at you, Stan? (He's also wearing a Yankee unform. Maybe that's it)
#5 "RON GARDENHIRE MET WITH HIS PLAYERS"
Ron, this Joe Mauer, this is Justin Morneau, etc. Question is, do the players know Ron?
#1 "CHIEN-MING WANG MAY OR MAY NOT BE READY THIS WEEK" (Tom Puma, NY Post)
What? You know he's right.
#2 "JOBA CHAMBERLAIN HAS 0% CHANCE OF MAKING THE HALL OF FAME"
(Bob Matthews, Rochester D & C)
Guess there's no point in finishing your career, Joba, even though you're only 24. So if he ends up with 320 wins or 500 saves, he's never going to get Bob Matthews vote.
#3 "JOHN SMOLTZ GOT MARRIED & TOM GLAVINE HAD A BABY" (Buster Olney, ESPN)
My question: why are these two items in the same headline? One can only hope they're not related.
#4 "KEITH FOULKE IS PITCHING IN THE ATLANTIC LEAGUE AND SOMETHING DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH HIM" (Stan Grossfeld, Boston Globe)
Yeah, he's pitching in the Atlantic league. Didn't that jump right out at you, Stan? (He's also wearing a Yankee unform. Maybe that's it)
#5 "RON GARDENHIRE MET WITH HIS PLAYERS"
Ron, this Joe Mauer, this is Justin Morneau, etc. Question is, do the players know Ron?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I GUESS THEY MEANT IT
A few months ago, MLB announced that they were looking into beginning World Series games earlier, which excited Picasner until he read further and discovered that "earlier" meant 8:00
instead of 8:30. Lo & behold, they did even better! The games will start at 7:57. Wow!
That means that kids will now get to watch the 7th inning instead of just the 6th. This is like telling a man dying of thirst, "We won't give you any water, but we're going to raise the humidity a little." What, no thank you? I thought of suggesting an "Encore Game," like YES Network does, to be aired at around 4:00 PM the next day, but then I remembered that Fox usually replays any significant plays during the next game and any really outstanding play, 3 or 4 times during the pre-game show anyway. Have to fill up that hour somehow. You can only give the lineup so many times.
Maybe Fox will make up for it by insisting on an extra minute or 2 between half-innings.
instead of 8:30. Lo & behold, they did even better! The games will start at 7:57. Wow!
That means that kids will now get to watch the 7th inning instead of just the 6th. This is like telling a man dying of thirst, "We won't give you any water, but we're going to raise the humidity a little." What, no thank you? I thought of suggesting an "Encore Game," like YES Network does, to be aired at around 4:00 PM the next day, but then I remembered that Fox usually replays any significant plays during the next game and any really outstanding play, 3 or 4 times during the pre-game show anyway. Have to fill up that hour somehow. You can only give the lineup so many times.
Maybe Fox will make up for it by insisting on an extra minute or 2 between half-innings.
Monday, May 18, 2009
LET'S NOT COUNT ON THIS
***WALK-OFF WINS***
They sure are exciting, but remember: this only comes to pass when you're the home team. On the road, you have to take the lead into the ninth. I think the best thing is that it's not just one guy. The "Toss-The Helmet-Into -The-Air" seems nice enough until it comes down on somebodies head. Toss it away, not straight up into the air over home plate. The guys in pinstripes are teammates, guys.
***WHAT TO DO WITH HUGHES***
Wang is coming back and there is talk of using Hughes as a set-up man in the bullpen. We've seen him crank it up to 95-96, so this might work. Just like Joba in his bullpen stints, there would be no reason to pace himself. Just let it all hang out. I'd like to see them try this.
***GARDNER'S DASH***
Two things here: Coach Dave Powers used to say, "Make the other team make the play." Mauer just nailed Gardner, so he had no leeway. If he hesitates one more second, Gardner is safe, and he gets to wear the 'Championship Belt' (This is kind of a cute idea). Picasner thinks is was the right thing to do: it took a perfect play to get him.
2nd point: Mauer was NOT, repeat, NOT, faking the throw to first. He stopped because he saw he had no chance. If he was faking, he would have faked and immediately turned and headed for home. You could see he was reacting to Gardner. Of course, now Mauer is claiming it was a fake. Liar, liar, pants on...(calm down, Picasner).
***I NEED AN EXPLANATION, PLEASE***
Why do you bring in your closer with the score tied? It's not a save situation. If your team doesn't score, you've wasted your closer for no reason. If one of your pitchers gets into trouble, I can see bringing him in, but not before. Any answers? ...Guesses? ...Lies?
Do I really have to listen to Joe "I'm always right" Morgan tonight? NO! NO! NO! Maybe someone will foul a ball back into the booth and put us both out of our misery.
They sure are exciting, but remember: this only comes to pass when you're the home team. On the road, you have to take the lead into the ninth. I think the best thing is that it's not just one guy. The "Toss-The Helmet-Into -The-Air" seems nice enough until it comes down on somebodies head. Toss it away, not straight up into the air over home plate. The guys in pinstripes are teammates, guys.
***WHAT TO DO WITH HUGHES***
Wang is coming back and there is talk of using Hughes as a set-up man in the bullpen. We've seen him crank it up to 95-96, so this might work. Just like Joba in his bullpen stints, there would be no reason to pace himself. Just let it all hang out. I'd like to see them try this.
***GARDNER'S DASH***
Two things here: Coach Dave Powers used to say, "Make the other team make the play." Mauer just nailed Gardner, so he had no leeway. If he hesitates one more second, Gardner is safe, and he gets to wear the 'Championship Belt' (This is kind of a cute idea). Picasner thinks is was the right thing to do: it took a perfect play to get him.
2nd point: Mauer was NOT, repeat, NOT, faking the throw to first. He stopped because he saw he had no chance. If he was faking, he would have faked and immediately turned and headed for home. You could see he was reacting to Gardner. Of course, now Mauer is claiming it was a fake. Liar, liar, pants on...(calm down, Picasner).
***I NEED AN EXPLANATION, PLEASE***
Why do you bring in your closer with the score tied? It's not a save situation. If your team doesn't score, you've wasted your closer for no reason. If one of your pitchers gets into trouble, I can see bringing him in, but not before. Any answers? ...Guesses? ...Lies?
Do I really have to listen to Joe "I'm always right" Morgan tonight? NO! NO! NO! Maybe someone will foul a ball back into the booth and put us both out of our misery.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
No Mas
I know, I know. Another promise broken, but I do owe several apologies after going medieval on Mike’s email. First of all, Mike is an honorable name and most Mikes are decent spellers, competent grammarians and honorable people albeit Mikes have perhaps more than their fair share of raving lunatics, perverts, former hooligans, and blowhards, e.g. Michael Kay, Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, Email Mike.
Apologies to Dick Cheney. While he is truly an evil dude he is not blatantly stupid. Apologies to Hugo Chavez. Although he prefers an authoritarian, dictatorial style of organization, he is known throughout Venezuela to have no more confidence in baseball umpires than I do. And sincere apologies to drag queens everywhere. They are recognized world-wide for their tolerance and ability to enjoy a good brouhaha.
I love you all.
And perhaps a couch could be installed in the booth so Paul can stretch out while sharing his Ruthian dreams.
Was there a baseball game last night?
NOW PLAY NICE, BOYS
Neither the name nor the writing style ring any bells with Picasner, but I don't mind "discussions" with the anonymous reader.
***BASEBALL DOES HAVE IT'S RULES***
Some of them make no sense, I agree, but since we are not umpires, we cannot pick and choose the ones we want to enforce. I have already discussed the "...cannot deceive the runner," idiocy, but this one is just as dumb. When running to first base, the runner MUST run within the two lines marked out. These lines are in foul territory and nowhere is it explained how the runner can touch 1st if he stays in foul territory. Technically, Gomez was out halfway up the line; both times. "Mike" does have a good suggestion: hit the runner with the throw. Both times (maybe the 2nd time, in the helmet). He'll learn.
Oh, and Mr. Gardenhire: shut up and stay in the dugout doing what you do best: amuse yourself by bouncing a baseball as you walk up and down the dugout. Don't be yelling at our players, yours are the ones that need training.
***SPEAKING OF CHOOSING RULES...***
Ah Wally, what a wonderful job last night. Those two white lines next to the plate are batter's box lines, not extensions of the strike zone. As for Mr. Damon, do we have to reiterate the "quick thumb" propensity umpires mistakenly have? If the player bumps you or curses you or won't leave after a warning, run him. Otherwise, sit there and take it. Why is it a mortal sin to show you how badly you missed the call? They should put Wally Bell on the same crew as Picasner's other favorite, Joe West. Might as well Batch the Boobs.
***MICHAEL KAY IS RIGHT?***
At least about Matsui. Sometimes he looks like he'll never get another hit; sometimes he looks like he'll never make another out. Good going, Michael.
By the way, Michael, how tough is it to broadcast a game with the comedy team of Paul and the Cone-head? I hope we've heard the last of "...bust a goon."
***BASEBALL DOES HAVE IT'S RULES***
Some of them make no sense, I agree, but since we are not umpires, we cannot pick and choose the ones we want to enforce. I have already discussed the "...cannot deceive the runner," idiocy, but this one is just as dumb. When running to first base, the runner MUST run within the two lines marked out. These lines are in foul territory and nowhere is it explained how the runner can touch 1st if he stays in foul territory. Technically, Gomez was out halfway up the line; both times. "Mike" does have a good suggestion: hit the runner with the throw. Both times (maybe the 2nd time, in the helmet). He'll learn.
Oh, and Mr. Gardenhire: shut up and stay in the dugout doing what you do best: amuse yourself by bouncing a baseball as you walk up and down the dugout. Don't be yelling at our players, yours are the ones that need training.
***SPEAKING OF CHOOSING RULES...***
Ah Wally, what a wonderful job last night. Those two white lines next to the plate are batter's box lines, not extensions of the strike zone. As for Mr. Damon, do we have to reiterate the "quick thumb" propensity umpires mistakenly have? If the player bumps you or curses you or won't leave after a warning, run him. Otherwise, sit there and take it. Why is it a mortal sin to show you how badly you missed the call? They should put Wally Bell on the same crew as Picasner's other favorite, Joe West. Might as well Batch the Boobs.
***MICHAEL KAY IS RIGHT?***
At least about Matsui. Sometimes he looks like he'll never get another hit; sometimes he looks like he'll never make another out. Good going, Michael.
By the way, Michael, how tough is it to broadcast a game with the comedy team of Paul and the Cone-head? I hope we've heard the last of "...bust a goon."
Mike Declassified (No More. I promise.)
Since absolutely no one asked, I thought it best to declassify the “Mike” email. Here it is, albeit slightly annotated.
1st base is on the fair side of first (see why I was immediately impressed with these stunning insights?). Texiria needs to shut his (Expletive deleted. Mike, please, we are a family blog and have strong readership in the 5 to 6 year old demographic – of course that’s measured in mental not chronological years) mouth on a play like that. If you got a problem with the runner hit him in the back and let the ump make the call (Mike, did you miss “ …the overly protected, inbred, bozos...” reference?) But if you make a throw that puts the first baseman prone to a runner touching first base (Mike, we all like runners touching first base. We only are concerned when a runner repeatedly does not stay in the runners lane going to 1st) that’s(sp) not the runners problem (Well, clearly, it can be, and last night it was). Theres(sp) a reason the umpires didn't throw Gomez out of the game (again, Mike, did you miss “ …the overly protected, inbred, bozos...” reference?) despite him sticking around to converse with Texiria (I know, Mike. It’s impossible to spell) for what would otherwise be way to long (It was a bit long only because representatives from both benches seemed to be unsatisfied with just how the overprotected, inbred bozos were handling the situation – the second time around. But that, I am sure, was Teixeirs’s fault as well).
But hey encourage a pitch into his ribs if that’s(sp) what gets you all excited (It’s all this talk about getting to first base that’s getting me excited). Maybe Texiria (see previous comment) will get one in the head, that would be to bad. (I am happy that Mike is less excitable than Vod and clearly concerned about Teixeira’s well being).
-V
Thanks, Mike (or is it Dick?)
Thanks to "Mike" (how could that possibly be anyone's real name?), a reader of Picasner At Large, who is unhappy with my suggestion that Yankee pitchers protect their own and that they trust the wise and fair judgement of the umpires in all things. I particularly want to thank him for pointing out that 1st base is on the fair side of the foul line. I am humbly reminded of the depth of baseball knowledge and human sensitivity that all of our many (well, three or four) readers bring to the Picasner Experience.
In an effort to remain "Fair and Balanced", I would like to invite "Mike" (who is hiding behind this bogus moniker?) to meet with Cliff Floyd, Brian Roberts, and Mark Teixeira out behind Picasner At Large World Headquarters so he can explain to them why it is their fault for getting in the way of base runners running to 1st outside the base runners box. I can guarantee "Mike" (I think it's really Dick Cheney) an attentive audience.
The following is a personal note to "Mike" (or Hugo Chavez in drag?), so everyone else stop reading. Mike or Dick or Hugo, if you're going to continue to waste your time reading this drivel and, worse yet, actually respond to one of our mindless rants, you have well earned a spot in the Horse's Ass Hall of Fame. Thank you, sir. I am deeply moved.
-V
Friday, May 15, 2009
Well, Not Nearly Enough
Shocking news in the Bronx tonight. The Yankee bullpen delivers 4 solid innings of relief. No, really. It happened. Phil Coke did give up a Mauer HR but it was a very good pitch that the Twins 1st baseman got to and creamed. It happens.
The Yankee offense remained anemic squandering 10 walks until the ninth when a walk to A-Roid pushed men into scoring position.
Bloops and the short porch were the most effective weapons for the Yankees. Jeter dumped his 5th of the year into the third row in right. Gardner's bloop-bad hop-and-I- think-I'll take-my-own-sweet-time-retrieving-the-ball-I-just-misplayed "drive" to left scored 2 Yankee runs and Melkey's game winning soft fly to short left-center in the 9th plated two more including the winner.
It was an entertaining game to watch. Phil Hughes struggled through 5 and the Yankees had early opportunities to score but had trouble coming up with the big hit. Teixeira finally delivered an important RBI with a seeing eye single and the Roid scared the Twins into 4 walks. When a twins pitcher was able to throw the ball over the plate, he wiffed.
Matsui's (.255) and Swisher's (.248) BAs are diving like Wang's sinker used to. At the moment, the middle of the Yankee batting order is on life support: Teixeira (.213) and the Roid (.136).
Props to Johnny Damon for pointing out that home plate umpire Wally Bell is a (check the photo) and more props to Joe Girardi for making it very clear to Ron Gardenhire that he belongs in the same stable as Bell.
I would appreciate it if at least one Yankee pitcher would put a pitch in Carlos Gomez's ear as a reminder that running inside the foul line can end a 1st baseman's season. The umpires allowed Gomez do that twice without comment in this game and the second time Teixeira was lucky to avoid serious injury. I have more faith in WWE referees. They at least know the script beforehand. The men in blue are making it up on the fly and these overly protected, inbred, bozos sorely need help.
-V
Even Better
David Ortiz, aka Big Pappi, Fat Pappi, The Man too Big to Pitch Around, in fact left 12 men on base in last night's 0-7 performance.
In spite of herculean efforts of incompetence, Jason Varitek was unable to match Ortiz's lofty efforts at totally sucking, leaving 7 men stranded in his 1 - 6 mess.
More encouraging than the inability of these two broken down juicers is the 5+ ERA of the Boston starters.
Joe Girardi and Terry Francona vie for the leading roles in the sequel Dumb and Dumber: The Line Up, continuing to bat Teixera and Ortiz in the 3 hole. Girardi wins the lead role as Dumber by batting a clearly not ready (even Picasner's pin-stripped clouded eyes recognized this) A-Roid 4th.
JUST A FEW THOUGHTS
***YANKS WIN***
Vod likes "good & bad," so...
I didn't think Gardner had that kind of arm, of course, the Blue Jay runner looked like he was slogging thru some mud. Gardner was also hit by a pitch. All you former Oswego High Schoolers will remember "Hotter" Schaefer's old trick: wear an oversized, blousey jersey and let it hang out over the plate. Hotter would get "hit by a pitch" that could have been called a strike.
JETER DRIVES IN TYING RUN. Nice headline, but he got fisted and hit it into no-mans land. Rolen and Scutero looked good on Teixeira's hump-backed liner. I like it when Sabathia pitches, but he's no fashion plate out there. "Hey CC. Barnum and Bailey called. They want their tent back." A-Rod missed two pitches in his last at-bat that he should have hit out of Rogers Centre. He's not ready yet. Two out of three from two division rivals. That's good. Matsui doesn't swing like a home run hitter, but he still hits them. I'll take it.
***THAT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD***
A few days ago, the Yanks caught a guy off first in a rundown. They did not handle it well. When my three kids were all pre-teenagers, they could run somebody down a lot better than that.
***LINE HEARD ON ESPN***
"Big Papi left 9 men on base. He's stranded more men than Paris Hilton."
Congrats to Vod's youngest, Christian, who becomes a doctor this weekend. Christian, do us all a favor: keep Vod medicated.
Vod likes "good & bad," so...
I didn't think Gardner had that kind of arm, of course, the Blue Jay runner looked like he was slogging thru some mud. Gardner was also hit by a pitch. All you former Oswego High Schoolers will remember "Hotter" Schaefer's old trick: wear an oversized, blousey jersey and let it hang out over the plate. Hotter would get "hit by a pitch" that could have been called a strike.
JETER DRIVES IN TYING RUN. Nice headline, but he got fisted and hit it into no-mans land. Rolen and Scutero looked good on Teixeira's hump-backed liner. I like it when Sabathia pitches, but he's no fashion plate out there. "Hey CC. Barnum and Bailey called. They want their tent back." A-Rod missed two pitches in his last at-bat that he should have hit out of Rogers Centre. He's not ready yet. Two out of three from two division rivals. That's good. Matsui doesn't swing like a home run hitter, but he still hits them. I'll take it.
***THAT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD***
A few days ago, the Yanks caught a guy off first in a rundown. They did not handle it well. When my three kids were all pre-teenagers, they could run somebody down a lot better than that.
***LINE HEARD ON ESPN***
"Big Papi left 9 men on base. He's stranded more men than Paris Hilton."
Congrats to Vod's youngest, Christian, who becomes a doctor this weekend. Christian, do us all a favor: keep Vod medicated.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Good News - Bad News
Good News: The Yankees are no longer tied with the Indians for the worst team ERA in the AL.
Bad News: The Yankees now have sole possession of the worst team ERA (5.78)
Good News: We are getting to see the organizations catching prospects.
Bad News: We are getting to see the organizations catching prospects.
Good News: I will no longer comment on Mark Teixeira until I can find a keyboard with a backwards K.
Bad News: Girardi still bats him third while hitting on the the interstate.
- V
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