Monday, October 28, 2013

The following is an apology to my son, Chris. He and our lovely daughter-in-law Christine, both Buffalo Bills fans now living in Philadelphia, were at Sunday's Giants - Eagles game and posted that both teams sucked. I responded that, as Bills fans, they should be used to watching sucky teams given the performance of the Bills for the past 19 years.

An Open apology to Chris

While it is true that the Bills have 'sucked' for a couple of decades, that in no way diminishes the fact that the Giants and Eagles, as noted in your post, suck. It may be that the entire roster of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania NFL teams are collectively, according to H. Simpson,  'the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked'.

The Giants are a lofty 2 - 6. The Jets suffered through a 49 - 9 embarrassment. The Eagles haven't scored a TD in two weeks. The Steelers are a robust 2 - 5, heading for 2 - 6 next week in New England. And then there are the Bills.

In spite of the less than mediocre football currently available in the northeast, much of the NFL is hardly more entertaining than watching:
1. paint dry
2. grass grow,
3. the first 450 miles of a 500 mi. NASCAR race
4. Any WNBA game
5. All of the above

(In deference to our lovely daughter-in-law, I omitted soccer as a choice mainly because she could, no doubt,  out last me in a rumble and I like the way she drives the mean streets of Philly with complete abandon.)

The best that the NFC East has to offer are the Dallas Cowboys snatching defeat from the jaws of victory eight times a year, year after year after year...

The only thing black and blue about the NFC north are the foreheads of Chicago and Minnesota fans from pounding their heads against a wall in Green Bay. (The bipolar Lions are fun to watch - half of the time.)

The NFC South offers Drew Brees but they more than balance that out with three other teams that are a collective 6 - 15. How exciting!

AFC fans have nothing to brag about either. Like the NFC, only 5 of their 16 teams actually have winning records and that includes the 8 - 0 Chiefs who have completed half of the 2014 season without playing a team with a winning record. Now that's entertainment!!

So I apologize to all of those dedicated  Bills fans spending hard earned cash at the 'Ralph' for singling out their team in a league that provides a generally mediocre product, placed the lives of its players in jeopardy by suppressing concussion information for years, and whose multimillionaire owners are never shy or ashamed to demand taxpayers build them increasingly elaborate playpens.

Now I understand the explosive popularity of fantasy football. It's far more entertaining that the real thing.

- VK

No comments: