EVERYBODY WATCHES THE POSTSEASON

## So what if the Yankees aren't in the playoffs. At least there are a couple of former Yankees there to carry on the tradition: AJ Burnett can't pitch and Nick Swisher can't hit. It's like old times.

## I think I've figured out GM Brian Cashman's secret plan. Spread all these under-achieving Yankees around the league. It makes the other teams easier to beat. Now if we can only get Boston to take on Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain and Vernon Wells, we won't have to worry about them for a couple of years.

## Don't you love having to listen to the announcers and "expert commentators" that TBS has to hire because of all the games they carry? These guys sound like they've never been in a TV booth before. They try to talk to each other like they were friends back in high school - assuming they made it to high school. When talking about the Dodger defense, one announcer (I'm not going to bother to learn their names) said, "I can't wait to see Puig throw. He's got a great arm." If you watch ESPN, you'd probably see him throw at least once a week. ...Or aren't you allowed to watch ESPN?

## Cal Ripken, Jr. may have been a great player, but he's not very dynamic. Here's a guy that could make "Flash" Flaherty sound exciting.

## There is a big uproar right now to try and get the Washington pro-football team to get rid of the name "Redskins." So how does Atlanta get away with that inane, annoying tomahawk chop?

## Apparently, I'm not the only one who thought Dusty Baker mis-managed the wild card game. The Cincinnati Reds have fired him.

## There is an article on the net that mentions some of the now defunct team names. Some names were too cool to lose, such as the Minnesota North Stars or the Dallas Chaparrals, but some...well, let's just say goodbye. The Boston Beaneaters, the Cleveland Spiders and the Brooklyn Bridegrooms. Three good reasons to wear your uniform inside out.

***THEY SAID IT***

"Tampa Bay pitcher Fernando Rodney found himself locked in a washroom when the lock jammed. He was finally able to open the door when he moved his baseball cap to the “Unlock” position."  -- TC Chong

"In tonight’s NFL game, the starting quarterbacks for both the Bills and the Browns were both injured and knocked out of the game. Is this God’s way of saying he REALLY misses Tebow?"  -- Janice Hough
"What do you call Tennessee quarterback Jake Locker being out of the Titans' lineup with a hip injury? The Hurt Locker."  -- RJ Currie
"According to researchers at England’s University of East Anglia, the world will end between 1.75 billion and 3.25 billion years from now.Or whenever the Mariners win the World Series, whichever comes first."  -- Dwight Perry
"Patriots QB Tom Brady, to Vanity Fair magazine, on his favorite articles of clothing: “My wife’s lingerie.”
"Denver QB Peyton Manning has broken several records already this year. He confuses teams by constantly changing his no huddle play calls at the line of scrimmage. Yelling out “Papa Johns, Papa Johns, No Dominos, No Caesar Caesars” has totally confused defenses."  -- TC Chong
" Two football coaches brawled after an Alabama high-school football game. C'mon, guys, this isn't life or -- oh, wait, because it's high-school football in Alabama, it is life or death."  -- Brad Dickson
"Advil has been named the official pain reliever of the National Hockey League. So what’s the league’s official chewing gum — Chiclets?"  -- Dwight Perry

Dareya to print this dept.

A couple having sex on the tracks was run over by a train in Russia this week. This is the first documented railroad accident case where a train pulled out on time and people didn’t."  -- TC Chong

CP-