Wednesday, May 22, 2013


## In spite of all the hullabaloo about how well the "retreads" are doing, the Yanks main problems continue to be the lack of scoring. New York's pitchers were pretty good last night, giving up only 8 hits. Unfortunately, three of them were home runs. Meanwhile, the Yanks only managed 5 hits and 2 runs and you aren't going to win many games like that.

## The San Francisco Giants sell "Game Used Gloves" in their gift shop. After making 8 errors in three games against the Rockies last weekend, I think it would be appropriates to remove the word 'Used'  from the description.

##  Nick Swisher was placed on the Paternity List by the Cleveland Indians. I didn't even know he was pregnant.

## The Yanks designated infielder Alberto Gonzales for assignment when they acquired Reid Brignac from the Rockies. Nobody claimed Gonzales, so he's back in Scranton.  

## I'm a little irritated. I was wondering why I hadn't heard Chris Dickerson mentioned when the Yanks were scuffling for outfielders, now I know why. I loved his swing and couldn't figure out why the Yanks didn't give him a real chance to make the club. Now we're paying the price.

## Both Miami & Houston are on a pace to lose 116 games. The MLB record is 120 by the 1962 Mets.
(I don't count the 1899 Cleveland Spider's 134 losses, since they may have played in a beer keg league.) Both teams are in last place, of course, but as Joe Garagiola once said, "It could mean they're in first place in Triple A."

"Marc Gasol was named the NBA's Defensive Player of the Year. Later that week, he was named to the 2nd team of the All-Star Defensive Team. Will someone smarter than me please explain this?"  -- Greg Cote
"There are already too many arcane baseball statistics, but perhaps none as silly as this nugget from ESPN: A home run hit by the Orioles Adam Jones had a flight time of 3.09 seconds - the quickest of any in MLB this year. If you can find any use for a stat like that, let me know."  -- Bob Molinaro

[Another dumb one is adding up the total feet that the home runs travel in a game by one team. Not only worthless, but suspect, because the always say, " traveled an estimated... -CP]

"Russia's Alexander Povetkin KO'd Poland's Andrzej Wawrzyk to retain his WBA heavyweight belt.
In Scrabble points, however, Wawrzyk's name won a unanimous decision, 53-34."  -- Dwight Perry
"A group of first-graders took a field trip to LSU: "Two left with signed letters of intent."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"The British Horseracing Authority says seven steeds have tested positive for steroids. Coincidence? All seven had landed side jobs pulling the Budweiser wagon."  -- Dwight Perry
"Scientists say an asteroid is about to pass within 3 million miles of earth. Or, as Bob Uecker put it: "Just a bit outside."  -- Dwight Perry
 "The Cleveland Cavaliers have won the NBA draft lottery, meaning they can pick that highly touted future superstar….what’s his name….uh, never mind."  -- Janice Hough
"According to a recent study, disaster makes people think about sex. So there is a bright side to being a Toronto Maple Leafs fan."  -- RJ Currie
" The L.A. Angels owner said there is 'zero chance' of manager Mark Scioscia being fired. Considering how sports works, since he said this 48 hours ago, I am stunned that Scioscia is still with the team."  -- Brad Dickson
" J.R. Smith of the New York Knicks is accused of 'partying' too much. He's the first NBA player to shoot a free throw with a lampshade over his head."  -- Brad Dickson
 "O’Hare airport in Chicago has hired goats to eat vegetation. The Obama job creation team plan is working just great - if you are a goat. That has to be frustrating. You’re an airport worker who is laid off due to sequestration and as you pull out of the parking lot you see a goat who still has a job"  -- Brad Dickson
[If I had a "Best Joke of the Week" category, that one would be this week's winner.]


No comments: