Here are a few of last year's comments that amused my wife and editor, Annie-O.
**Jamie Moyer's going to miss the 2011 season while the doctors sew on a new arm. I don't think this is his first replacement arm, either. I'm sure I saw a used one of his in Cooperstown last year. It was right next to a red and white sock.
**Manny Ramirez will quit on you for reasons as silly as he doesn't like the brand of hot dogs being sold in the concessions.
**On a basketball ref who is deaf: I don't think the deafness is any problem, especially when you consider that there seem to be a number of refs out there who are blind.
**ESPN was upset at a Bobby Knight curse: What's the big deal? When you hire Bobby Knight, why are you surprised when you get Bobby Knight?
**On Ohio St’s problems with the NCAA: Apparently Ohio State's honor code is, "Hope we don't get caught."
**After Yogi Berra tripped and fell on the carpet in the clubhouse: Hank Steinbrenner immediately fired the carpet.
**Nick Johnson has signed a contract to go on the DL with the Cleveland Indians this year.
**A standing joke in central New York in the '50's was that Jimmy Brown majored in basket weaving @ Syracuse Univ. Don't laugh; word is that even today, he can fabricate a basket for you in 30 minutes. With a handle.
**The Yanks sign another older pitcher: No, the Yanks aren't worried, they're just getting a head start on next year's Old Timers game.
**Dwight Perry says that the Tampa Bay Rays have cancelled 'Manny Ramirez Bobblehead day' for obvious reasons. It's a shame they had to cancel the event for the person from whom 'Bobblehead' got it's name.
**More on Manny: Making a tremendous diving catch of a throw...intended for someone else. He's still the only major leaguer in history who has been credited with an interception.
**…that 'great motivator,' Joe Girardi, couldn't convince the wicked witch of the west to come in out of the rain.
**You know your pitcher isn't doing well when the grounds crew drags the infield AND the warning track in the fifth inning.
**Josh Hamilton has said that the reason he doesn't hit as well during day games is, that he has blue eyes. Yes, and my dog ate my homework.
**On Jarrod Saltalamacchia’s long name: The back of his uniform says, "Continued on next jersey"
**The Dodgers have fired former first baseman Steve Garvey from their Marketing and Community Relations Department. Considering his personal history with women, it's apparent Steve and the Dodgers had a different idea as to what 'Community Relations' meant.
**The huge number of appearances by Scott Proctor a few years ago and his signing with the Yankees: Scott joined the Scranton Wilkes-Barre team on Tuesday. His arm is expected to join him in a few days.
**On micro-managing Tony LaRusso: He over-manages everything from what pitch to throw to whether the players are to use mayonnaise or mustard on their sandwiches after the game.
**Manny Ramirez was arrested yesterday on a charge of Battery during a domestic dispute. Manny may be retired, but it appears he can still hit.
**On Mark Scutaro missing a grounder because of a splintered bat: Great players handle it. Derek Jeter, for example, would have avoided the bat, caught the grounder, started a double play and built a birdhouse out of the pieces of the bat.
**The Yankees will have a ceremony honoring Roger Maris before the game tomorrow. No truth to the rumor that Bud Selig will throw out the first asterisk.
**Brian Cashman has admitted that the Yanks faked interest in Carl Crawford to drive up the Red Sox bid. After signing a 7-year, $142 million contract, Crawford immediately faked interest in playing.
More tomorrow--
CP-
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