Welcome Back CP

Welcome back, CP!!! Exclamation points are really fun to use and The Return of Chad does deserve three of those little buggers. And it’s good to know that as long as Chad’s docs fill him up with the good stuff from time to time, we get his best work and are looking forward to a his run down on the Red Sox – although in their case, we’ll have to read it over a club house beer. And the mandatory fried chicken.

Following the maestro’s lead -

Teixeira: The biggest issue with Teixeira is spelling. When you get to the second “ei” it’s really hard not to break out in song. Old McDonald Had a Farm, specifically. Ei-ei-o.

Kevin Long is not the guy to help him. Long had a full-season opportunity with no improvement in average. Derek Jeter had amazing success with his personal swing coach, not Kevin Long, and Teixeira would be wise to pursue a similar course, albeit, he won’t have the same immediate opportunity to see results that Jeter had. Some glove, eh?

ARod: Exactly right.

Jorge Posada: 2011 was Jorge’s “A Bridge Too Far” epic. What a great 15 years catching so many World Series pitchers, several of whom will, in time, take their place in Cooperstown. So long, it’s been good to know ya’. (Jorge did tick me off many times this year.)

Rafael Soriano: The Mets put one over on the Yankees. That’s hilarious.

A.J. Burnet: The Jays put one over on the Yankees. That’s hilarious.

(Scott Proctor: The Yankees put one over on the Yankees. That's really hilarious.)

The Boobers always provide so many opportunities to repeat oneself, but I’d hate to see A.J. go. He’s got some of the best body art in the business and sometimes has haircuts more bizarre that Nick Swisher (another total-post-season dud). But best is the suspense he provides – on every pitch. Predictions of where each of A.J.’s pitches will eventually land has been the basis of ESP research at NYU for the past several years – and the Yankees can afford to support paranormal psychology research for at least one more season.

CC Sabathia: Omar the Tent Maker? Good one, although CC will forever be Mr. Laundry-bag to me.

Phil Hughes: If Scranton doesn’t scare him straight, threaten a trade to Boston.

Colon and Garcia: A no-brainer so no points for making the easy call.

Eric Chavez: See Colon and Garcia above.

No need to say more than CP said re: C.J. Wilson.

As regards the kids, Chad needs to add some specificity. Exactly what kids and what fields do you mean? Montero can hit but has no natural position other than a right-handed DH. Austin Romine can catch but can’t hit major league pitching, and Nunez will only get innings behind everybody who starts. That doesn’t look like that basis of a dynasty any time soon so there must be others coming. Right?

Yankees I no longer wish to see (or hear) not included above: John Sterling, Nick Swishalicious, Nick Swisher, Joe Girardi, Brian Cashman, any Steinbrenner, Steinboober, and assorted dumb asses, Ramiro Pena, ARod – a constant reminder of how well our gladiators are compensated and our misplaced values, Robinson Cano when he’s not paying attention, Derek Jeter when he’s shilling another crappy product. There goes the roster.

On Phil Mushnik’s ponderings on sports broadcast drivel – the only source of more banal drivel is the Republican presidential primary debates. And I’m not sure which Texan is more crass and annoying, Rick “Governor Good Hair” Perry or Ron “The Spit King” Washington. Actually it's Perry. What comes out of his mouth is far more offensive than what comes out of Washington's, and far more dangerous.

Good to have you back, P.