Thursday, October 06, 2011

Late Season Greats

Adam Dunn, the Chicago White Sox’s 56 Million-Dollar Man, fell six at bats short of the 502 needed to qualify for the worst full season batting average in baseball history. As Jim Hugar of The Buffalo Beast opined, Adam will always be Number 2 in out hearts.

CC Sabathia earned $96,000 per inning pitched for the Yankees this season. 25 percent of children in the United States live below the poverty line. Have a nice day.

Once again we all get the pleasure of “spitting images” of Texas manager Ron Washington beamed into our homes during the playoffs. Ron, you are the King of Really Disgusting Seed Expectoration.

A-Rod came within “spitting distance” of Ron, turning the batters box and base paths into his own personal spittoons. However, his performance in the Grab Your Crotch and Adjust Your Stuff marathon put Alex over the top in that coveted category. Given his mediocre batting average makes one wonder if there isn’t some truth to the notion that certain behavior may lead to blindness.

Chad’s been away for a few days getting a couple of new parts installed at the local body shop. We expect he will be more “hip” than ever when turned loose. Missed you, Chad.

Workers manufacturing iPads, iPods, iPhones, and Macs in Apple's hell-hole Chinese sweat shops were allowed to pause for one minute of silence to mourn Steve Jobs. They were docked for two minutes of pay. Sad that Steve the Visionary was blind to how his products are made.


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