Wednesday, October 26, 2011

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH

***A PHONE-Y STORY***
I've heard all I wanted. None of La Russa's story rings true. None of it. A manager who is noted for being the best (worst?) micro-manager in sports, a manager who has already planned who his pinch-hitter is going to be in the seventh inning of game seven, doesn't know who is warming up in his own bullpen? A bullpen coach who can't distinguish between the names of Jason Motte and Lance Lynn? What's happening?
The crowd noise was too high. The phone was static-y. I couldn't see the bullpen. I slurred the names. ...oh yeah, and my dog ate my lineup card. I had better excuses for not doing my homework in 1st year Latin.
It's been two days, the lies haven't changed, only enhanced, and humorless Tony La Russa is telling jokes. Let's face it. we're never going to find out the real story. ...until bullpen coach Derek Lilliquist retires.

## Red Sox pitcher John Lackey is having Tommy John surgery on his arm. Too bad there isn't a tendon replacement surgery that would repair his personality.

## Now the Red Sox can retaliate for having the Yanks force the Sox to pay dearly for Carl Crawford, by feigning interest in CC Sabathia. Maybe it'll really be serious interest.

## Not to say that superstars get treated differently, but Albert Pujols gets to put plays on all by himself? Without checking with Tony La Russa? The above-mentioned, tight-assed, micro-managing Tony La Russa? I know I said that La Russa likes to hog the headlines, but this is getting ridiculous.

## The Yanks hold a $10.5 million option on Nick Swisher, and it's being discussed in great detail. There has been a lot of talk about the Yanks failure to hit in the post-season, and Swisher is a big part of that problem. The word is that Nick feasts on 2nd tier pitchers and falls apart when the big boys step on the mound.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Boston Red Sox announced that they are adding several more sections of alcohol-free seating sections next year, starting with the dugout." -- Marc Ragovin
"An investigation has confirmed that several popular pitchers with the Red Socks drank beer during games last season. They would have gotten away with it, too, if the manager hadn't noticed the Jacuzzi they were soaking their arms in had a head on it." -- Bob Mills
(Has everyone noticed that I'm having a lot of fun with this story?)
"Dolphins receiver Brandon Marshall, who talked tough last week and then botched two potential touchdown catches against the Jets, missed Wednesday's practice because of a quadriceps injury. Veteran Fish-watchers suspect he did it trying to pull his foot out of his mouth." -- Dwight Perry
"Rick Perry said he wants to eliminate the three million word tax code. If he succeeds about the only time you'll hear three million words is when Tim McCarver is describing a routine fly ball to the outfield." -- Brad Dickson
"A high school in suburban Chicago is punishing students who ask for more than three passes per semester to use the restroom. When reached all the students were too busy hopping up and down to comment." -- Brad Dickson

CP-

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